[ Taiki thinks it's been a little while since Yomotsu walked away and said he'd be right back.
In fact, it's been a day. A whole day. The fox spirit had told him that yesterday, and a whole night had passed since then. It wasn't even early in the morning anymore by now - it was already well into the next day. Late morning, maybe? It's not like Taiki, the kind of guy without a watch or a phone, could tell. Judging by the way the sun has already climbed quite a way up into the sky though, it should already be somewhere around noon by now. Truly almost a full day since the other had left him here by himself.
But it's not like he's worried. Not at all, actually! If Yomotsu said he'd be back and that Taiki didn't have to follow him, then he'd just sit here and wait for him. The two of them are connected, right? They're destined, soulmates, so of course Yomotsu would come back to him, even if it's taking a while. The thought that the other might have tried to ditch him this way doesn't even cross his mind, like Taiki is incapable of believing anyone would do that, let alone his soulmate of a spirit.
It's not like waiting has necessarily been great though. It wasn't terrible either, since nothing is terrible to Taiki, but there have been moments where he got a little bored. Some moments were fine, especially the ones where some of the smaller spirits would find him and play around with him on the spot, but left by him the only thoughts he had to amuse himself with were thoughts of Yomotsu. (They were a pretty good distraction, though - he can't seem to wipe the smile off his face every single time he thinks about the other, and thinking that they'll be next to each other again any moment Yomotsu would show up.) And even aside from the slightly boring moments, there were the moments that had been more dangerous, even if it didn't register with Taiki. It was pretty cold overnight, and although it wasn't nearly bad enough that he'd freeze, it still might have given him a starting cold. To not even speak about some of the spirits that had passed by.. with his kind of bad luck, any of them could have eaten or killed Taiki without leaving behind a single trace.
But that didn't happen. The cold might have, yes, since his luck does suck and spending one night outside in the cold is enough to make him instantly catch one, but by Taiki standards, it's lucky. He didn't die or anything, and he's still sitting there in exactly the same spot as before, smiling just the same. He isn't worried, or scared, and even his own sniffing from his runny nose doesn't really bother him, because all he can think about is Yomotsu.
A little corny to anyone else, maybe, but to Taiki it's just a thought that makes his heart feel so warm that he doesn't want to think about anything else.
Ironically enough - a slight case of bad luck, maybe - he isn't looking up by the time the other actually does show back up. Instead he's sitting there with his knees practically drawn up to his chest, admiring the red string that's still stuck around his finger just like always, incredibly unbothered by the fact he literally spent an entire day just sitting here and waiting for the other. ]
[It'd all seemed like such a great idea, in the heat of the moment. Basically from the first day they'd met and onward, Yomotsu had been quietly seething from having to be in the near constant presence of a human...a human who seemed hell-bent on sticking with him, and talking to him and...and raving on and on about soulmates. With him. Yomotsu's never had the greatest temper to begin with, but having some guy harass day in and day him while he'd wanted nothing more than to be left alone? There's only so much of that he could take.
And that's why yesterday, he'd finally snapped.
The instant he'd yelled at Taiki to stay put and then stormed off- promising to come back- it'd felt great. Finally. The only thing that might actually work for a change. It seemed like such an easy solution too, like it'd been a wonder he hadn't thought of it sooner. Things could go back to the way they were supposed to be. Just Yomotsu. On his own. Looking for his comb, with no one tagging along behind him.
Except...
...Except that feeling didn't last for more than a few seconds at best. Just a few steps away, and Yomotsu could already feel a sense of guilt creeping into his heart. One that he was angry for having to deal with at all, but one that still kept getting stronger and stronger with every step he took. And then with every few minutes that past.
He'd forced himself to just shake it off at first. It was stupid...feeling so guilty just for ditching some human. This is what Yomotsu'd wanted this whole time, he shouldn't have to feel shitty about it. He'd been clear enough that he didn't want Taiki following him around. He'd even said as much...but that still hadn't been enough to stop the human. So this was his only option left...wasn't it? Besides...obviously the guy would just...get the hint eventually anyway. And then he'd get over it, and probably find someone else to harass instead. It wasn't Yomotsu's problem to deal with anymore. What he should really do is just get the hell away. Away from the field he'd left Taiki in, away from the town...away from the state. Just get out and forget about it and start focusing on his search again.
But he didn't.
As soon as he'd made it into town...he'd just. Seemed to slow down more and more. Like each of his steps started feeling heavier the longer he'd walked. Yomotsu'd thought maybe it'd get easier to just brush it off and forget about it the farther he got...but instead, the opposite had happened...and it felt like his mind started getting plagued with the very thought of Taiki. Because it was impossible to escape one, single question.
What if he did stay?
Even late into that night. What if Taiki was still there, even then? Still just...sitting there, waiting for him to come back? Just...alone, on that hilltop, without a bed, or without dinner, or anything. It seemed like such a stupid thought because he knows that probably literally any other human would leave after a certain point. Maybe after an hour? Maybe more, maybe less? But Taiki...Taiki has to be the one guy on this whole goddamned planet who might just take his words to heart. Who'd hear the word "promise" and cling to it with everything he had, and just...keep on waiting for Yomotsu to come back.
The thought wore down on him all night...to the point where Yomotsu couldn't even close his eyes or get any amount of sleep. He'd just laid down- his heart starting to race painfully in his chest while his mind was clouded with thoughts of Taiki alone in the dark. It was a thought that seemed to absolutely consume him- getting worse and worse and eating through him like a lethal disease.
But even so...Yomotsu is a stubborn creature. And he'd played games with his mind all night- trying to convince himself that it was ok. That it didn't matter even if Taiki did stay there. Because if he went back, he'd just be stuck with him again...and that wasn't worth it.
But even Yomotsu knew by then that he was lying to himself.
And even after he'd finally admitted that...The idea of going back...and seeing for himself if Taiki really was still there or not...it was enough to freeze him in place a while longer...and make a few more hours pass before he'd finally gotten to his feet and started a slow march back to the hill with his head hanging down.
The closer he started getting to the hill, the quicker his heart seemed to beat in his chest...and the more his mind started to chant over and over "don't be there, don't be there, don't be there, don't be there, please don't be there"- right up until he was taking his few last steps. Only this time...for once, it's not because he doesn't want to see Taiki. It's because having to face that Taiki really trusted him is...terrifying. The idea of anyone placing that kind of trust in him is terrifying. And then having to face the fact that he took advantage of that trust makes him feel like...absolute scum. Enough to make his heart wrench in his chest at the very thought of it...and enough to make him almost want to turn around and run away.
He doesn't though. He keeps on walking...even though it feels like his his body's being weighed down on, more and more the closer he gets. Right up until he's there...right at the top of the hill...where Taiki's finally visible.
And god...actually seeing him there with his own two eyes feels like his stomach's been gutted with a cold steel blade. Seeing him all hunched over like that...right in the exact spot Yomotsu'd left him...staring at his goddamned pinkie finger with the string around it.
Yomotsu can feel himself breaking apart at the sight of it, and something in him snaps again- just like yesterday. His hands ball into fists, and his lip trembles a little before the rest of him starts shaking too. His gaze falls down to the ground and he sucks in a breath- feeling tears start to form in the corners of his eyes.]
HEY...!
[His voice is loud, and angry, and it echoes through the quietness of the field around them...but it's not any anger that's truly directed at Taiki this time. He pauses for a moment- trying to fight back the tears before they break free.]
[ Any normal person would seem startled or scared at that sort of anger suddenly popping up out of nowhere though. But Taiki.. well, in a sense his family is right, he's never really been normal. Like he lacks the ability to feel any negative sort of emotions at all, he first seems happy when he hears the voice - no matter that it's so loud, no matter that Yomotsu is yelling like that. He just stares up with a near spark in his eyes, just happy to see the other again. He's been waiting, after all, and even though he knew the other would come back, he was way too excited just thinking of seeing him again.. and now Yomotsu actually is here, so how could he be any happier than this?
But then it does at least dawn on the human boy that the other is yelling in his direction. It's something that's a little harder to understand.. it still doesn't startle him or anything though, and it doesn't make him look scared or that he feels bad. Instead Taiki just blinks.. almost curiously. Like he doesn't really understand where Yomotsu's reaction is coming from.
He doesn't understand it, after all. Why would Yomotsu raise his voice like that? Even compared to his normal grouchiness - half of which still goes over Taiki's head, mind you - this seems a little extreme. Yomotsu said he'd come back and that Taiki had to wait for him there, so he waited for him, and so Yomotsu came back just like he said.. what's supposed to be so strange about that that it's enough to make Yomotsu act so differently?
Despite the surprised blinking, Taiki does smile though. That expression is always very hard to get off his face, and it's even harder in the presence of the spirit he already cames so much about, despite not even having met that long ago. ]
Yomotsu!
[ He can't help but still call out the other's name happily as he stretches out his legs once more so he can actually look at the other instead of having to peer from behind his knees. He doesn't bother with getting up just yet though, just happily staring at Yomotsu from where he's sitting. ]
Um.. [ He does hum for a moment as he's thinking of the answer he's supposed to give here. Taiki thinks it's pretty obvious what he's doing here, Yomotsu is the one who told him to do it to begin with! But the other's reaction is so different from anything he expected that he does have to think for a moment before deciding to just say exactly what he's thinking. ]
I was waiting here for you like you asked. [ He moves a hand up to wipe at his nose a little, sniffing. The same innocent look still lingers in his eyes though, and it's more than obvious that he really did believe Yomotsu's words 100%. Even if the other hadn't come back, he still would have sat here and waited, even if it had taken days. Even if it would have killed him. It's just how Taiki is, after all. ] Until you came back! And now you're back, just like you said!
[ See, it's a great thing. A happy thing! They're reunited again, so what reason is there to seem so emotional? He can't quite grasp it. ]
[The feeling that's like a blade gutting his stomach persists as Taiki starts to talk, only this time it's like it's twisting and diving deeper into him. Especially...at the sound of his own name, and the...the happiness that's still there when Taiki says it. No outrage...no hurt, or even confused reaction aside from the other blinking up at him.
How...how is that all he has to say?
What's worse is when Taiki starts sniffling like that...because of course...of fucking course he'd catch a cold too, wouldn't he? That's exactly the kind of luck this kid has...Except, realistically, Yomotsu knows this really is good luck given the circumstances, isn't it? Horrible images flash through his mind at the thought- mostly of some of the spirits that could've come skulking through the area...that probably could've ripped Taiki to shreds if he wouldn't have even tried to run or hide.
Yomotsu's fists curl up even tighter- almost painfully so- as his body starts shaking a little more noticeably than before. Even with those dangers already past, that small sign that Taiki got sick feels like an entire new weight on his conscious- one that carries all the implications of how it could've been worse...and all because Taiki had believed him when he'd said he'd come back.
How is he supposed to believe it's really just that simple...? In his heart, he seems to know that it must be, if it's Taiki saying that...and yet...]
Stop...Just...stop spewing out your same old bullshit. You're telling me you just sat here for day. A whole day? Not moving or sleeping or eating or doing...anything...? Just...out in the open. Right here. Right where I told you to stay.
[A small, shaky breath hisses out of his mouth.]
No one could actually be that much of an idiot...No one in their right mind would actually believe all of that...!
[It's like the only thing he can think to do in this one, frantic moment...is to lash out and try to hurt Taiki. Maybe that'd be easier to deal with, somehow...to see that Taiki is upset with him instead of just...happy. Happy to see him. But even as he spouts out the words, his chest twists up into painful knots- enough that he staggers a little at the thought of it actually hurting Taiki like it was supposed to.
Even though his words don't sound convincing to his own ears...if Taiki took his promise to come back at face value, he'd probably do the same here...wouldn't he?
Yomotsu moves one hand to the side of his own head- like he's trying to physically get a grip on the thought's that're rampaging through his mind. But all he can hear is his own heart pounding in his chest- faster and faster- and leaving his whole body feeling weak, and fragile.]
N...no one....no one could...
[His head bows down a little as he talks this time- hair falling over his eyes...and it looks like he might just collapse onto the ground at any moment.]
[ This is all so weird to someone as simple-minded as Taiki is. He just blinks up at Yomotsu with big eyes, wanting to answer just as bubbly as always that of course he waited here all this time for Yomotsu, what else would he do when the fox spirit had asked him to wait here? He couldn't go anywhere even to sleep or eat, because what if Yomotsu came back during that exact time and Taiki wouldn't be there? He could only think about how sad Yomotsu might be if that happened, so of course he just kept sitting there instead, waiting obediently and not even expecting it to be a trick from the other to get rid of him.
But that bubbly reaction dims when he notices what the other is saying now. And it's not even really what Yomotsu is saying, it's just.. his tone being so upset. It's shooting past its intended purpose since it's not making Taiki feel bad at all (that's a near impossible goal, anyway), but it's making him slowly start to frown a little at the same.
Because the other's tone.. it's worrying him. Something about it seems so hurt. But Taiki doesn't understand why that would be the case - why would Yomotsu be hurt? Taiki waited for him just like he promised, and now they're seeing each other again, so why would any of that be a sad thing? Yomotsu looks like he's about to either cry or collapse, but.. why...? ]
Yomotsu...
[ There's a way different tone to the way he says the name than his happy bubbly quick way from just now, but it clearly still doesn't sound hurt. He doesn't sound like he's about to cry because Yomotsu is angry at him.. instead he just sounds worried.
And it's obvious enough. Mostly since Taiki tries to get up only to find himself unable to (sitting here without eating or sleeping and getting a cold took more of a toll on his body than he can imagine even now), but since he can't, he at least reaches out towards the spirit with a hand. Like he's trying to reach Yomotsu, or beckoning him closer. ]
Yomotsu, what's wrong..? [ To anyone else it might be obvious, but not to someone as innocent and sweet as Taiki. All he can see is that Yomotsu is hurting and he has no idea why, but still wants to make it better. It's what they're meant to do, after all. They're destined, soulmates - if they're not going to make each other happy, then who will?
His hand manages to reach the other's hand that's still hanging by his side, fingertips gently brushing against it before trying to fully grab it with his own. ]
[As soon as he hears Taiki's voice again, it seems to shoot through him like lightning- freezing him where he stands and even managing to stop the shaking for a moment. Because what he hears in the other's voice is...the absolute last thing he'd been expecting. Because somehow, even with Taiki already somehow managing to be glad to see Yomotsu...is worried now...? About him...? Even when Taiki had been the one stuck out here. Even when Taiki was the one in constant danger...without any food for hours...without any sleep...Even when Taiki'd gotten sick because of him. Waited out here all on his own because of him...
But he doesn't get any time to recover from that sound at all. Because even as he stands there- eyes already wide with shock, and head bowed down towards the ground- he can still see Taiki's hand reaching out to him. His breath catches in his throat, and his heart freezes along wit the rest of him- time slowing down as he watches. The second he feels that hand against his own...that soft touch from the other's fingertips...his own hand flinches in response.
The more Taiki seems to reach out to him...to try to help...the harder it is for his mind, and his heart to keep up with anything that's happening. And the harder it is to come to terms with the fact that Taiki really is just..that selfless enough to care about Yomotsu, even when he'd abandoned him.
If that wasn't enough...as soon as that last question is out of the other's mouth, it sends an even greater shock through him- one that terrifies him more than anything else has so far. He takes a step back suddenly- head lifting up again to look at Taiki...but his eyes seem full of fear, and his lips are parted slightly from the same sense of panic. The shaking starts up again- stronger than it was before...but even through all of that, he still doesn't let go of the hand holding onto him. His own feels like dead weight right now in the other's grip...It feels cold and almost corpse-like by comparison to Taiki's...and it feels like it'd be impossible to take it back, even if he wanted to.
Yomotsu starts to take another step back- almost as if he wants to turn tail and just...run away from here. To escape from all of the fear mounting up inside of him, and do what he'd set out to do yesterday.
But even as that somewhat instinctual fear surges forward...Yomotsu can feel another fear that's taken root. One that's grown inside of him these past few hours, and grown even more strongly these past few minutes...All from a few sweet smiles...a few kind and happy words...a few soft touches...It's crazy. Because aren't these the exact same things that Yomotsu couldn't stand about Taiki- even a few days ago...? And yet...and yet, somehow...even the mere thought of abandoning those again feels far, far more terrifying than staying and facing this does.
Suddenly, his head bows back down again- hanging low and letting his hair drape over his eyes and cover them up...but it doesn't do much to hide the few small drops of tears that finally slide down his cheeks and off of his chin- dropping onto the ground below. It feels like something's coiled itself around his heart...squeezing harder and harder, and refusing to let go. But slowly...almost imperceptibly, he gives his head a small, resolute nod. Meaning..."yes". Yes...he's happy to see him.]
[ Even though Yomotsu is nodding yes - something that seems natural to Taiki, despite the other's usual grouchiness, since he believes anyone would be super happy to see their soulmate - there's something weird about all of this. If he's just as happy to see Taiki as he is to see the fox spirit, then why is Yomotsu so.. odd about this? When their eyes meet for a moment, Taiki can feel something very odd... it's almost as if his heart stops beating in his chest for a moment. Like something is pricking through the happy bubble that he usually has around him, making him see the world and everyone around him in beautiful and happy colors.
Because Yomotsu looks upset. The fear in his eyes, the panic in his expression, the way he nervously shakes, the way he cries.. that's not normal. That's not what someone does when they're happy. Maybe he could happily cry if he was so overwhelmed from seeing someone so important to him again, but Yomotsu doesn't seem like he's crying happily.
It makes worry spread through Taiki in a way he's never felt before. Even when he was sitting out here all night, he wasn't particularly worried, since he knew nothing could happen to him until he'd see the one destined for him again. But right now, being faced with that person looking so upset.. that does make him worry. And the worry definitely feels overwhelming with how new of a sensation it is for Taiki, making him instantly want to comfort the other.
And just holding hands isn't enough for that. Of course it's nice, but he figures that if Yomotsu is really even crying, then he has to do more. He doesn't even care how weak his body feels from sitting here without sleep or food, he pries himself off the ground as well as he can, moving to hug the other...
... but due to how unstable his body is from being so weak, he more just crashes straight into the other, making them fall into a pile of limbs on the floor - Yomotsu on his back with Taiki on top of him. Not that this momentary setback stops the human in any way, he's trying to wrap his arms around the other as well as he can after that crash all the same. ]
Yomotsu.. [ Maybe he just needs a hug. Taiki knows he likes being hugged. It's a warm feeling, and nice, and it always makes him feel happy.. so with the way he's wrapped his arms around the other and is pressing his head to Yomotsu's chest, he's bound to feel happy, right? He's bound to stop letting those tears fall, right? ]
Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry..
[ Because Taiki can't think of any other reason why Yomotsu would be this upset while he's still happy to see him. Maybe he actually was meant to wait in a different spot, or maybe he was supposed to get Yomotsu something.. he isn't sure, but he would do absolutely anything to make it up to the other, even if that right now amounts to just cuddling the other to death, lifting his head a little bit to be able to look the other in the face with big, innocent puppy-like eyes. ]
We're together now though, so.. don't worry, okay? I'm not going anywhere! I promise..!
[It's ironic that the first time Yomotsu can admit he's genuinely glad to see Taiki, Taiki doesn't even seem to believe he means it. Well...it's more that he can tell there's something actually upsetting Yomotsu anyway, even after all the times he'd said there was so plainly. Yomotsu doesn't see anything on the boy's face since his eyes are still glued to the ground...and after everything that's happened, he'd never imagine that anything could break through Taiki's bubble of happiness. He'll realize it soon enough though, since it'll be impossible for him to miss.
When Taiki comes crashing into him, he doesn't do anything to stop it...in fact, for half a second in the heat of the moment, he wonders if maybe Taiki is upset with him. Until he's laying on his back with the other boy on top of him, and Taiki's burying his face into his chest and wrapping his arms around him.
And then...Taiki apologizing to him...asking if he did something wrong?
He can't believe this. He just...can't. Now of all times...Taiki's trying to make him feel better.
It doesn't help...Taiki trying to console him right now just makes everything twist up inside of him even more with guilt. Yomotsu knows he doesn't deserve to feel better after what he'd done anyway...But for once, he also doesn't want to make Taiki worry either.
The tears keep falling down his face and he can't stop himself from shaking against Taiki...but there's at least something he can do to make it a little better.
He shuts his eyes...and slowly starts moving his arms- letting them inch around Taiki to hold him closer for the first time. And the second he does, it hits Yomotsu just how cold the other feels too. He sucks in a breath and tries to fight back against the tears- leaning his head down against Taiki's and then gently turning both of them so they're each laying on their sides and facing each other. It'll be easier to keep him warm this way, at least...and he curls up around the boy a little more.]
I know...I know you wont.
[One of his hands slides up Taiki's back, and gently through his hair.]
[ It's still difficult for someone as bubbly as Taiki to understand why Yomotsu is crying - even now, even after he already promised that he's staying here with the other and that nothing should still be wrong. He can feel the fox spirit's body shake against his own, and it does make his chest feel a little tight with fear and worry, making his arms tighten around the other, like Yomotsu might disappear in a puff of smoke any moment now.
But then he can feel the other's hold slip around him too, and it makes a lot of things feel better. Even though he isn't sure why the other was so upset, Yomotsu is holding him too.. and it feels so nice and warm that he can't think of anything else for a moment as Yomotsu nestles up to him like that. Taiki hardly even noticed how cold and hungry and tired he was out there by himself, he was too busy thinking about the other and when he'd come the whole time. But now Yomotsu is right next to him, it's all slowly starting to kick in.. his face feels like ice, and he buries his nose against Yomotsu's shoulder in an attempt to warm it up a little bit.
It's not as if Taiki wasn't crazy about the other from the first moment he saw him and realised Yomotsu was his soulmate.. but all of this just makes his affection even stronger. It feels so nice, the way the other's hand runs up his back, through his hair.. it feels comforting. It makes the whole wait for Yomotsu's return feel like nothing, despite how long it actually was. Despite the fact that he got sick because of it - there's a cough muffled somewhere between his hand and Yomotsu's shirt. ]
I won't have to wait by myself anymore? I'm glad...
[ Not that he per se minds to wait for the other.. he'd gladly do it as long as it's for Yomotsu. He'd always wait for him, no matter how long - if anything, all of this proved that much. But he can't deny either that it feels so much nicer to be around the other, even being held like this.. ]
It's a good thing, right..? [ He snuggles against the other, sounding almost half sleepy with how comfortable he's becoming like this despite the circumstances. ] So don't cry anymore, Yomotsu..
[The rest of the day will be a little bit like torture for him- that much is already obvious from the way it's been going. Because everything that Taiki does just makes his chest twist up into knots of guilt...Taiki nestling up closer to him...coughing a little...and sounding so sleepy. He'll endure it...he knows he has to, no matter how hard it gets. Even if it never were to get easier...he couldn't turn back now.
He keeps his arms around Taiki and lets out a long, shaky breath- trying to calm himself down a little. At this point, it's more for Taiki's benefit than it is his own. After all the shit he's done, he doesn't want to let the boy be worried for even a moment longer. And besides...hearing that normally cheery voice be anything other than happy...it just keeps on tightening the feeling in his chest. It's just not right...someone like Taiki really does deserve to be happy as often as he is.
It still doesn't stop the tears from falling...but Yomotsu feels like he could start to calm down, at least a little. As long as its for his sake.
At Taiki's question too, he nods slowly- eyes still squeezed shut.]
Yeah...it's a good thing.
[First, he'll warm Taiki up a while longer...it feels like it'd be impossible for him to get up right now anyway, even if he kept the boy in his arms. So the least he can do is this. It feels like the only good quality of his that he can offer right now- that he's got plenty of body warmth to share.
He moves the hand behind Taiki's head- letting it blindly brush across his face, and press it gently against his cold cheeks and his nose. It still feels like ice against the warmth of his hand...who knows how long it'll take to get him warm again.
But as soon as he can, he'll take Taiki...and carry him out of here, even. He'll take him someplace even warmer...and get him food...make him comfortable. It'll be better...he'll do better.]
[ At least there's one good thing about being involved with Taiki of all people - he easily bounces back. It's difficult for him to even lose that constantly happy mood to begin with, but even at the rare moments when it does, it usually doesn't last. Not when there's not even a good reason for it. And even though Yomotsu is still crying, it doesn't feel like too bad of a thing.. not when Yomotsu says that it's a good thing they're together, that he's happy to see Taiki. Maybe he's just crying because he feels so happy that he's holding Taiki like this now...?
He isn't sure, but.. he feels like they'll be alright. Taiki doesn't feel like he has to worry about his soulmate anymore right now, so the smile already starts returning to his face a little. Sure, it's slightly dopey because of how sleepy he feels and the cold he got, but it's still meant. Genuine. He can't think of any place he'd be happier than right here in Yomotsu's arms.
The boy even giggles a little bit when Yomotsu moves his hand across his face like that. He didn't really feel how cold he was for a while now, like his sense of cold has just been numbed, but it's a little more obvious again with just how warm the other's hand is against his face. ]
That tickles...
[ Just a little bit though, and obviously not in any way he minds, considering the way Taiki almost tries to move his face a little more against the hand, like he's trying to get every moment of skinship with Yomotsu as he can out of this moment. Like a puppy nuzzling its mother, really. Even as his voice is still a little slower with how tired he is.
He lets out a breath though that sounds fairly content. He doesn't care that he's cold or sleepy or hungry or anything. As long as he can lie here while being held by Yomotsu, Taiki wouldn't care even if it lasted for days. Just being close to the other - especially since it's the first time Yomotsu has ever moved to have this much physical contact with Taiki by himself instead of Taiki just physically harassing him - is enough to forget anything else. ]
You're so warm, Yomotsu...
[ Not that Taiki isn't cold enough that anything would feel warm at this point. But Yomotsu being a natural heater sure is helping that fact even more. ]
[Yomotsu would let Taiki stay in his arms for as long as he wanted, if the guy hadn't already been running without any sleep or any food for the past day. He'd probably do most anything that Taiki asked for right then and there, as long as it didn't conflict with any of that. Even then, he should be able to carry a human for a while no problem...at least that way he can keep on holding him a while longer.
Since Taiki seems to like his face being touched so much, Yomotso forces his eyes open to see what he's doing a little bit better. It doesn't help completely, since the tears are still blurring his vision, even if they're starting to slow down a little. But the sight of Taiki's smile returning to his face makes Yomotsu feel like there's a hand gripping tightly onto his heart again. Seems like this feeling isn't going to let up anytime soon, from the way things have been going.
He pauses for a moment to wipe his eyes off a bit, then moves his hand back to press it gently onto some of the redder looking parts of Taiki's face- his nose, his cheeks...then moving over to his ears a little too.]
Good. We'll stay like this a little longer so you can get warmer.
[At least this is one of the few things Yomotsu can't fuck up on. He even nestles a little closer against Taiki- like he's trying to will all of the warmth from his body to go to him instead.]
Just don't fall asleep yet, ok?
[Not until Yomotsu's can get him to eat and drink a little first. But as soon as they do that, he'll take him back home and Taiki can sleep as much as he wants. He leans his own face closer to give the other's a gentle, and surprisingly affectionate nudge with his nose. Just stay awake with him a little longer.]
[ For once it feels really hard to do what Yomotsu is asking of him. Not that he doesn't want to listen - it's exactly because he would listen to anything the other told him, no matter how ridiculous, that he's been waiting here the entire night, right? - but just because.. well, everything about this is so comfortable. The relief of Yomotsu being back washes over him, and the warmth near him combined with how tired he is from having been up all this time is all catching up with him, making him feel drowsy.
Not to mention Taiki is just too naive and pure. He doesn't think at all about how most people who fall asleep in the open after being so cold just die like that - he wouldn't even be able to imagine something that sad, not the boy who's all sunshines and smiles constantly. All he can think about is how warm and soft Yomotsu is, and how happy he would be just to sleep by his side like this. It's an opportunity he hasn't really had yet with how the other always tried to push him away (even though, in Taiki's eyes, that's not what ever happened). ]
I'm comfy though...
[ Taiki's voice is a little more drowsy, although not enough so that it sounds like he's entirely falling asleep already. Maybe just a little bit. It makes his reply sound more childish than anything else, but that's something that suits Taiki anyway.
For now he seems more occupied though with nestling even closer to Yomotsu, like he really is trying to bask in the other's body heat - and more importantly, company - as much as he can. But at least he's still smiling, seeming as content as can be, no matter what he has been through for the other. ]
[Of course...the one time Yomotso really, really needs Taiki to listen to him, he sounds like he might fall asleep at any second. He at least gets it though, that Taiki can't help it....because he must be exhausted from staying up so long. But this is still more than enough to send a shot of panic through Yomotsu too, because Taiki can't sleep right now.
He feels guilty before he even does it, but Yomotsu keeps his arms around Taiki and sits up- still holding the other boy too. Sorry Taiki...it's not that he doesn't want you to be comfortable, but...he can't stay like that. He can't take the risk of anything going worse than it already has.
Yomotsu shakes him just a tiny bit too for good measure- a very gentle one to try to wake him up, before tugging the other boy right up against him afterwards. He shakes his head against Taiki too- urgency in his voice now.]
You can't...you can't sleep right now. You have to stay awake with me.
[As much as he wanted to warm the boy up more before they left, he decides that they can't wait around anymore. Taking him into a warm bed, getting him water, and feeding him a hot meal...all of that will come first. And only when he's sure Taiki will be ok, then he'll let him sleep. And Yomotsu will stay the whole time too...he'll watch over him all night.
Without warning, he shifts a little to lift Taiki up into his arms. It's relatively easy for Yomotsu to carry the boy, at least...and he still keeps them pressed closed together too, even as he starts to walk.]
When we get inside somewhere, I'll hug you, or...or do whatever else you want, ok? But you have to stay awake first.
[ At least Taiki doesn't seem bothered about being made to sit up instead of comfortably lying there next to Yomotsu. Then again, Taiki often isn't bothered by a thing, so there's no way something small like that would suddenly shake up his personality and make him mind it. He's still a little slumped as he's sitting up against Yomotsu, but he just can't help it - he is tired, and Yomotsu is comfortable and warm right now.
But the urgency does get through to him. Even though being carried in Yomotsu's arms is just as comfortable as lying there with him, or sitting there against him, and even though it's so very tempting to just go ahead and sleep like this.. he can't just do that. Not when even Taiki, who can be a little oblivious sometimes, can notice the tone in the other's voice. He doesn't want to make Yomotsu worry about him, not when he actually realises it and can help him. He doesn't want Yomotsu to ever have to sound like he's worried or on edge, so the least think he can do here is try to stay awake for a while longer, right? He's been doing it all night, so surely he can at least do it for a little while more until they get somewhere comfortable enough to sleep.
So his eyes do open pretty widely to show that he's not falling asleep anymore, shaking his head a little while lying there in the other's arms to try and shake his mind awake a little more too. ]
I'll stay awake.. I promise. [ His voice is a little more gentle than his usual chipper energy, but maybe it's partially because he's still tired to begin with. Or maybe he just really does want to just reassure Yomotsu to the best of his abilities right now.
(Not that it means he doesn't make himself comfortable in the other's grasp anyway, okay.. it's just nice, being carried by Yomotsu like this. He likes it, and a smile appears on his face.) ]
... You'll really hug me though? [ That brings back a little bit of the chipperness, even though it's still a tad muted. ] As much as I want?
[ Be careful there, Yomotsu, you may just have a Taiki clinging to you for the rest of your life like you're an oversized teddy bear... His affection knows no bounds, especially when it comes to hugging and cuddling. ]
[There's no part of him that can even consider the idea of being careful with his own promise right here. Not if it'll make Taiki keep his promise of making sure he doesn't fall asleep so long as Yomotsu's still trying to help him get somewhere warmer first. He doesn't even care if he's not careful with it- he'll really do it, dammit! He'll hug this goddamned human constantly as long as he doesn't fall asleep and die after staying awake for a whole night.
In fact, as soon as Taiki's eyes open wide and he makes that promise, Yomotsu lets out a breath he'd been holding. Maybe it's no guarantee that the guy won't start getting sleepy again, but...well, Yomotsu's pretty damn sure that if he makes a promise, he'll try to keep it. Especially after everything that's happened...so it's a little reassuring at least.
He slows to a stop for a moment...pulling the other closer to himself and squeezing him a tiny bit- doing the best he can to hug him while he's already holding him like this. As if it's a promise of more to come.]
Yeah...as much as you want.
[His eyes squeeze shut again- feeling like the tears are starting to well up again from hearing that chipperness in the other's voice...This guy really is trying to make him feel better, isn't he?
This goddamned red string of fate bullshit...Yomotsu feels like it must be wrong more than ever before. But only because there's no way some scum of the earth like him could deserve someone like Taiki. Someone who would try to make him feel better even after Yomotsu left him out alone in the cold all night. Who may as well have left him for dead, all things considered...
Still...he knows how important that thing is to Taiki. So...]
W-we're............we're soulmates, right? ...Of course I'll hug you more...
[ It's true, the whole soulmates thing is incredibly important to Taiki. If not just because finding out what the string meant had him excited enough, and back then he had been much younger... he's already been waiting so long to be able to find his soulmate that his excitement only grew and grew over time, so how excited he is about it by now is just an accumulation of all the excitement he's bottled up over the years.
Finally he's together with Yomotsu... and finally Yomotsu is saying the exact things Taiki imagined his soulmate would tell him once they met. Not that any of the other's earlier behaviour bothered him at all. Even when Yomotsu was clearly - to any normal person, anyway - trying to get rid of him, Taiki didn't think he was being mean in the slightest. But even oblivious Taiki who sees the best in absolutely anything can't deny that this is a lot more like what he imagined being with his soulmate would be like. His soulmate carrying him when he's tired, his soulmate promising him he'll hug him as much as Taiki wants... what more could he ever need in his life, honestly?
At least it helps with making him more excited, and being more excited means that his tiredness is being fended off for another moment. Even though his body still feels incredibly heavy, his eyes can't help but shine at the very thought of cuddling with Yomotsu. That's definitely worth trying to stay up for a little bit more.
He nuzzles his head a little against Yomotsu's shoulder while the other is still carrying him - closing his eyes again, but at least seeming very much awake for now. ]
That's the first time you said that...
[ It doesn't sound accusatory though, no matter how much that might be expected in a situation like this. Yomotsu did abandon him, but.. Taiki doesn't mind. He doesn't blame the other.. he's too innocent to even realise the other's intentions. He just genuinely thinks Yomotsu told him to wait for him and then came back for him, the long wait between isn't even that strange in his mind. Especially not if his spirit soulmate came back more affectionate than before, then that could only be a good thing to him. ]
[It's obvious enough that Taiki's not being accusatory...anyone could see that. He's actually a little surprised that it doesn't make him feel quite as guilty as he'd been expecting. Not that it doesn't feel any at all, but...there's a little glimmer of something like relief too. Just seeing Taiki be as happy to hear that as he'd expect him to be...and not diminished at all, even after a night as long as that one...
It seems simultaneously impossible and easy to be able to live up to Taiki's expectations. Easy because Taiki really is happy even when Yomotsu doesn't try...but impossible because he does want to try now, and even then...it feels like he could never give Taiki as much as he actually deserves.]
Y-yeah...well...I'll start saying it more often, then.
[Anytime before now, and he never would've believed he could've said that at all- at least, not in any serious manner. Calling them soulmates still feels weird...and not in a way that he can place, either. It seems like it'd be impossible for him to be that mushy on a regular basis, but...if he's already done it once, he can do it again. Besides, it feels like he could agree to literally anything Taiki asked him to do in a moment like this. He doesn't think he'd have it in him to say no.
With another shaky breath, Yomotsu starts walking again- picking up the pace a little bit more. He's wasted enough time feeling sorry for himself...right now it's more important to just deal with his own shitty feelings and get Taiki somewhere that's not outdoors.]
Do you live nearby?
[He murmurs the question softly against the other's head...but that'd probably be the best place to take him, right? It's not like Yomotsu's an expert on booking hotel rooms for the human world, or anything...If push comes to shove, he'll figure something else out, but...getting Taiki back to his home and his own bed should be better than him picking some random place.]
[ How could he feel anything but incredibly blissful when Yomotsu is telling him stuff like that? Not only is he saying things for the first time that Taiki really likes hearing, but he's even saying he'll say it more often. Which means that the fun times he's had with Yomotsu until now - they were fun times to Taiki, at least, no matter that no outsider would ever agree on that thought - are going to get even better. There's no thought that could fill Taiki with more happiness than that, and that's saying a lot considering a lot of things can make Taiki happy to begin with.
He curls up a little more in Yomotsu's arms, even though he makes sure to keep his eyes open so the other won't worry. He just tries focussing on little things to keep himself awake.. like Yomotsu's face being right there, like how nice Yomotsu's arms feel around him, like tangling his fingers a little more in the red thread that hangs around his pinky as even more of a physical reminder that the most important person is right here with him. The world could be ending around them and all Taiki would have eyes for right now is the fox spirit carrying him. His fond smile seems to indicate as much.
Taiki nods at the question, although it's a little slowly from the sleepiness. ]
The street past these trees... The third house. [ His words are still a little mumbled because of it too, but with how close Yomotsu's face is right now, they should be plenty audible. ]
There should be a key under the flower pot.. [ As oblivious as Taiki is about a lot of things, at least he doesn't forget some important things like these - otherwise they would be stuck outside. ] I left it in case no one was home.
[ Since being locked out is a problem that Taiki frequently experiences, although it's rare for him to actually think ahead and make sure it won't happen - at least Yomotsu is lucky in that regard when it comes to quickly finding a safe place for the human boy to sleep. ]
[It's extra salt in the wound to realize Taiki's house really isn't that far away at all, and that he could've gone home...basically whenever he wanted. And yet...he'd still stayed right here. It's obvious enough by how cold his body is against Yomotsu's- this guy didn't even just...get up and walk himself home to warm up overnight. He stayed the whole time. And all Yomotsu can really do for right now is just will his own body heat to warm the other up.
Maybe the Taiki'd even told him where the house was before, but seeing that he already had to ask...he definitely doesn't remember it. He's sure that he wouldn't have paid attention anyway, even if it got brought up... At least his house being close is also a very good thing, because it means they don't have long before Taiki's inside and warm and safe. Better than hearing it's across town and he'd have a bit of a hike before he could get that.
Yomotsu closes his eyes and nods against Taiki a little. They're simple enough instructions, and it's honestly a huge relief that it's another thing he doesn't have to worry about.]
Ok...
[His voice still sounds soft, and he gives Taiki another little squeeze when he says it.]
I won't let you fall, but...hold on anyway, ok?
[He waits for a moment to make sure his arms are securely around the other before breaking out into a run. It's a little harder like this- in this form, and carrying a human no less...But it's really not that far away. Besides...this is the least he can do. Taiki's spent way too long outside because of him, and he shouldn't have to spend even an extra second out here.
It still doesn't take him long at all to reach the house and follow what Taiki'd said- fumbling with the flower pot, and then the key underneath...Then before you know it, they've got their way in. At least it must be the right house, since he'd found the key...Yomotsu doesn't even take a second to look around, he just shoves the door right open, elbows it closed again, and then storms inside in hopes of getting Taiki into the nearest bed.]
[ The upside of Taiki basically doing anything Yomotsu asks him to without questioning it whatsoever means that it also works this time, when he's actually asking for something reasonable. No matter how sleepy he feels right now, he'd never want to let the other down, so Taiki is already moving to cling as well as he can to the other in this state. The fact that Yomotsu is running barely registers with him though... it almost feels like he's in a daze like this, like Yomotsu's face above him is all he can see and the surroundings don't matter a bit. They don't feel as important, anyway. Not as important as the fact that he feels like he was waiting for Yomotsu for so long, but he really came back like he promised. Could anything be better or warmer than that?
Getting home does at least vaguely register with Taiki, even though he doesn't consciously realise how lucky they are that no one is home right now. No matter how little they care about Taiki, surely his relatives would at least ask why there's a stranger in their house - and even if Yomotsu turned himself invisible to normal humans, it'd still be impossible to carry Taiki in without making him look like he's just.. well, floating in the air.
But this definitely is the best case scenario, being able to go into the house without anyone asking questions, while Taiki can just give Yomotsu instructions about where his room is with a soft and sleepy voice.
(Not that the room isn't very obviously Taiki's anyway when you see it. It's definitely a small room, like giving it to him was some kind of afterthought, but there's a bed with a mountain of soft blankets and a collection of ordinary stuff no one would otherwise think to bring inside, like rocks and leaves and the like.
When Yomotsu does manage to get him into the bed, Taiki slowly pulls up at least one of the blankets over him - lacking the strength to really do more than that right now. But it feels warm and comfortable, and when he looks up to see the fox spirit standing there, he reaches his arms up to Yomotsu - almost like a baby would - to try and get the other to come closer. The only thing he can think of right now that would make this situation more comfortable would be to have Yomotsu right there with him to use as a teddy bear of sorts. ]
[It really is lucky that there's no one home...because Yomotsu isn't really even thinking about other people right now- so naturally, he didn't even think about how that could've been a problem if someone else had been there. Luckily, things worked out in his favor though...and he doesn't even have to get turned around in the house with Taiki here to guide him.
Yomotsu lets out a short, soft breath of relief once Taiki's finally in his bed with a blanket over him. His mind is still racing with things he needs to do- warm him up more, get him some water, and food...there're so many thoughts racing around in his head that, for a moment, he's not even sure what to do first. Blankets...that should be easy enough, right? He's right here anyway, and that'll make Taiki warmer too. But before he even gets that thought together enough to start moving, Taiki's already reaching up to him like that...like he wants him to come closer, right...?
This still isn't something Yomotsu's used to, by any means. Acting softer towards Taiki, but also just...acting like this in general. Any time before now and he still would've recoiled from a gesture like that...But not now. As much as Taiki's doing anything he asks, Yomotsu feels like he's in the same bind now...he can't imagine turning down anything he asks for. Even though he can't shake the worry of being able to address Taiki's needs, he can't just...tell him to wait, and leave either. Not after he already made him wait for so long...
A little while...that should be ok, right? He'll lay down with Taiki first and pull some blankets over him to get him nice and warm...And then he can go grab anything else he needs. And when he does, he'll come back this time...right away.
There's still a little bit of hesitation as the fox spirit moves a hand- flinching very slightly as he reaches out towards the boy's outstretched ones. But he still does take one of those hands- moving down closer towards him slowly...until he's right up against Taiki. Right now this is still Yomotsu bending over the bed- not fulling getting onto it just yet...but he still slowly wraps his arms around Taiki again, and nestles his face down into his neck.
He still feels cold...of course he wouldn't warm up that quickly, huh? Yomotsu reaches one hand back- just so he can start dragging more of those blankets on top of the other boy first...making sure it's enough to make him extra comfortable. But once there're enough piled up, Yomotsu carefully slides himself in besides the other boy- shoving part of the blankets aside just so he can make room for himself in there too.
As soon as he's up against Taiki, he curls around him again too...hoping that he can share as much of his body heat as possible.]
[ Yomotsu isn't thinking of anything else. Despite being thirsty and hungry, he's not thinking about trying to go eat or drink anymore. He doesn't even really think about sleeping despite how tired he feels. How could he think about anything else when Yomotsu is right there next to him, this close? And it's not even that Taiki is latching onto him as he's tried in the past - no, he asked for the fox spirit to come lie down with him here, and Yomotsu just did it right away.
It's such a nice thing... It makes Taiki's chest feel so incredibly warm, no matter how cold he was only a little bit before. He can feel so much of Yomotsu against him, almost all around him - like he's completely surrounded by the other, and nothing could feel more nice and warm like that. He doesn't even want to sleep just yet, just so he can enjoy a little bit more of this feeling. Warm blankets over him, Yomotsu's arms around him, the hot breath against his neck...
Even though Taiki's eyes are closed for a moment, he still looks so incredibly content with his wide smile and the way he snuggles up as close as he can do the other, seeming pretty active for how tired he was earlier - it must just be something about Yomotsu's presence - his soulmate's presence - making him feel less tired.
He blindly seeks out the other's face with how his eyes are still closed, his nose gently rubbing against Yomotsu's own for a moment before his face travels further to plant small soft kisses on the spirit's cheek.
It's so warm, and nice, and soft.. This is all he ever wanted. This is all he ever wants, considering he can't think of anything he would want more than just lying here with the other like this.
So he nods, his head practically rubbing along the other as he does with how closely tangled up the two of them are right now. ]
I love you, Yomotsu..
[ It's not really an answer to what the other asked him.
But that doesn't matter to Taiki. It's what's at the forefront of his mind right now, and Taiki has always been simple enough to just say whatever comes to mind - he's too genuine and open. And how could he think about anything other than how much he loves his soulmate when he's just lying there under the blankets with him? It's only further proof of how the thought has never even crossed his mind that Yomotsu wanted to abandon him or that it's the other's fault that he was staying outside in the cold all night. ]
[Maybe he should've expected words like those four...maybe he should've seen them coming- given the stuff this guy's been saying all along. Everything about being soulmates, and wanting to be with him all the time, and actually going far enough to cling onto him. But no matter what, he'd never fully prepared himself for it...never really believed it would happen...There was always something holding him back- from when he first met Taiki, to even a few moments ago. Almost like he was holding his breath.
Hearing that someone loves you...it's supposed to be a good thing, isn't it? It's supposed to make you feel happy...No, even more than that. It's beyond just regular happiness...Is that what he should be feeling now...?
But instead, Yomotsu just...just feels like tears might start spilling down his cheeks any second now. It feels like all the guilt and resentment towards his actions start rising up inside of him again- at dangerously high levels that make him feel like he could lose it at any moment. It's just that...no matter how he looks at it, he can't ever believe that he would deserve hearing something like that. Why should he deserve something like that...? Why should Yomotsu...why, after he'd told Taiki to get lost so many times...after he tried to ditch him. After he'd actually almost abandoned him completely...He just...doesn't. There wouldn't be anything that could convince him otherwise.
And yet...Taiki's still decided to say that to him anyway. And Yomotsu knows he'd never be able to tell Taiki he shouldn't love him...not with the way the human is. Even that wouldn't be his right to do, would it...? And even if he'd try...it seems like there's nothing on the earth or otherwise that could dissuade Taiki from this. How did someone like him get a love that strong...that withstanding. All that Yomotsu can really do is...just do his best to try to earn that love. That's his only real hope right now...and it's the best thing that he can do for Taiki too. To be better for him...to work on feeling like he really is someone that's worthy of being loved by Taiki. No matter how hard it'll be.
Before the boy can see tears forming in his eyes again, Yomotsu moves his head- burying his face into the top of his hair, and squeezing his eyes shut. He nuzzles his face against the other- hoping that it'll make it harder for Taiki to notice anything...he just doesn't want him to worry again. He does move his face back a little though after a second...just enough to be able to talk again.
Even starting to talk makes his heart start to beat faster in his chest...and faster again by the second. No matter how he feels right now...he just...he can't not say anything to Taiki in return. He has to answer...he owes him absolutely anything he wants, including his own heart.]
I...ah...
[He sniffs a little, and squeezes his eyes shut tighter- trying to force the tears back...and trying to keep the shakiness out of his own voice.]
[ The one good thing here - for Yomotsu, anyway - is that Taiki doesn't notice that the other is about to cry. Maybe it's because he was sleepy to begin with and is just half-dazed with the way he's lying here with Yomotsu while in that state, all warm and bundled up.. or maybe it's just since he's oblivious. But no matter what the cause is, he doesn't notice Yomotsu's sadness over any of this. Taiki couldn't imagine Yomotsu feeling guilty or sad at hearing any of this, anyway, not when negative emotions are something so far out of Taiki's own field of experiences.
Instead, dazed or not, this feels more like the happiest he's ever felt. It's not like he usually isn't happy, but despite his sleepy state, this time it feels like the happiness is so strong that it'll burst straight out of him. None of Yomotsu's rejection ever really got through to Taiki before, so he was never sad about any of it, but this still feels special anyway. He's never been lying together in one bed with Yomotsu like this, all curled up, with the other telling him he loves him... What could be better than that for someone who's as clingy to his destined soulmate as Taiki is?
So he just giggles lightly, pressing himself as close to the other as possible. ]
You said it..
[ It's not as if Yomotsu not saying it before bothered him - Taiki never seemed sad because he just plainly wasn't sad - but it at least did register somewhere in his oblivious mind that Yomotsu never actually said it, even though Taiki all this time assumed the fox spirit felt it anyway. But now he is saying it, which only makes this whole situation feel even warmer.
And it makes him seem so incredibly content, lazily (due to his sleepiness) smiling against the other. ]
You're the best.
[ And that's just the truth to Taiki. No matter how much Yomotsu might guilt or blame himself for everything that happened up until this point, Taiki doesn't know any of it. Because he genuinely believes this - that Yomotsu is amazing, perfect for him. Only Yomotsu gives him this extra warm feeling in his chest, after all. Only Yomotsu has ever come to curl around him in bed like this, making Taiki feel like he belongs. This is what he expected out of having a soulmate all along. ]
[It almost...doesn't seem fair, in a way. Not in the sense that Yomotsu thinks he's being treated unfairly, but...how is it that he can make Taiki this happy so easily...? He can't help but think that- the thought keeps coming back...just because of the way he'd been acting, but...That really is just what makes Taiki...Taiki, isn't it? Being able to smile and stay happy no matter what's going on around him...and then brighten up even more when it's something he really, really likes.
But that just reinforces the idea that...if even the smallest effort from him will make Taiki happier...he owes it to the other boy to try to give at least that. More than that. Especially now that he's seeing Taiki in such a happy daze...all because of something he said. If he has the power to do that...to make Taiki feel like that...then he can't hold back anymore. No matter how hard it is for him to do and say things like this, he'll just have to suck it up and try. If he said those words once...he can absolutely do it again. Maybe it'll even get easier...a little less nerve wracking. Who knows...
He closes his eyes- his face burying back into Taiki's hair again as he shakes his head against him. When he talks, his words are a little muffled too.]
No...you are.
[That much should be clear...there's no way he could measure up to Taiki.
Even though all the times he'd rejected the other...that's a thing of the past. He squeezes his eyes shut even harder- trying to block out all of the memories of...virtually all their past encounters. But he knows he can't get rid of them completely...not if he wants to make sure he never makes that same mistake again. He can't...he just can't. Especially not when Taiki's sitting there...saying he's the best. There's not a chance he could believe that now....but he can still try to work his way into being better.
He tilts his head to press his cheek against the top of the other's head- moving a hand up to move it through some of his hair. Taiki will be safe now...safe and warm. He'll get better...]
[ The response draws a small giggle out of Taiki, completely oblivious to everything that's going through the other's mind. Instead he just leans a little into the hand he feels brushing through his hair suddenly, like he's silently asking for more of it - or just trying to soak up every moment of this.
You wouldn't tell judging by Taiki's personality, but it's not like he's ever done this before with anyone, after all. No matter how bright and physically affectionate Taiki is as a person, most people he's encountered in his life have pushed him away the way Yomotsu did just before. It's how he ended up being bounced from distant relative to distant relative after his parents died, no one truly wanting to take care of the boy. Maybe it's why Yomotsu's rejections never really seemed to get through to him.. He was already used to blocking all of it out by then, ending up completely oblivious to people's less than stellar intentions.
But it makes everything about this moment feel even more special. No matter how happy he is by default, this still makes him feel a little extra warm, a little extra loved.. It's a new experience for Taiki, and it makes him wish for this moment where the two of them are cuddled up so close together to never stop. ]
I feel a lot warmer now..
[ It's definitely muffled again, but he's still trying to make sure the other can hear it. Even though Taiki doesn't fully know about all of the negative thoughts going through the other's head, or just the full extent of how much Yomotsu is worrying about him after him having stayed out there all day and night.. he still figured from what the other said earlier that Yomotsu wanted him to be warm, right? So Taiki knows he at least has to let the other know as much now, that his limbs don't feel as stiff anymore now he's under his usual blanket pile, with Yomotsu in there with him like his own personal cuddle heater. ]
That's good, right?
[ It's not as much Taiki asking it objectively - as oblivious as he can be, he knows it's better to be this warm than being too cold - but it's more just about the implication in it. It's good, so it should make Yomotsu happy.. that's what he wants, anyway. Just seeing Yomotsu, let alone being this close to him, fills him with so much happiness.. So all he wants to do is make sure the other is happy too.
[Yomotsu's got no idea how much Taiki's used to people trying to get rid of him like that. He never would've guessed that even happens- not in a million years. No sooner than he'd guess Taiki's not used to being affectionate and cuddly like this together with someone. It's not like Yomotsu's got a very stellar opinion of humans overall, and he sure knows they can be shitty to each other just like they can be shitty to...basically anything...but still. Maybe he's not the type to get along with someone happy and bubbly right off the bat, but why wouldn't other humans? The thought of other people acting like he'd been doing...it hadn't even crossed his mind. But then again, even if he knew about all that past stuff, it wouldn't make the fact that he did it any better or worse...and it wouldn't make him any easier on himself.
And really, he'd never guess that about Taiki not cuddling before either. It seems even more unlikely in his mind...especially with the way the other seems to nestle right up against him- like it's the most natural thing in the world. And then Yomotsu being the first to do this with him just...seems so unreal.
He's still treating this like it's important anyway, and he feels a rush of relief wash over him from Taiki's words too. So he's getting warmer...that is good. Definitely good. Yomotsu hadn't even noticed the human getting less and less cold in his arms, since his mind had been so focused on actually trying to warm him up. There's a slight pause as he runs the thoughts through his head, but he nods after a moment- realizing he still has to answer Taiki outloud too.]
Yeah...yeah, definitely. Just stay up a while longer...just...just to be sure.
[Even if things are looking good, Yomotsu's still so panic-stricken at the idea of fucking up and letting Taiki drift off too soon. It's not like he's a doctor, and he sure as hell doesn't know a lot about human health...but he can still guess at the general idea of things.
Yomotsu nuzzles against him again- like he's redoubling his efforts to keep on making the other feel better, bit by bit.]
We'll...we'll eat something together later. When you're feeling a bit better.
[ Probably more than just a little bit, considering Taiki didn't exactly move from the spot Yomotsu told him to wait at to grab something to eat or anything. He didn't even try to go to some convenience store nearby to buy something just to make sure he would still be there if Yomotsu came back, no matter when it was. And it's not exactly like anyone here at home missed him when he skipped dinner, so the consequence is that the boy's stomach is practically empty by now. It doesn't bother him though - what bothers someone as bubbly as Taiki? - and he probably doesn't even feel the full extent of it while he's cuddling with the other like this. That's much more at the forefront of his mind than anything else.
At least he is being good and not falling asleep, so he's not making it harder for the other. Taiki still seems a bit sleepy or dazed, yes, but the way he's actively leaning into the other's nuzzling and moving slightly against him is enough to indicate Taiki is still very much awake.
Besides.. ]
I don't want to sleep anymore right now though.. [ Not because he isn't tired, mind you. No matter how Taiki's personality is, it's not like his body can exactly keep up with suddenly staying up the whole night out there in the cold. ] Not while you're here.
[ That's more the reason. Even though Taiki is sure he'll be able to get lots more of this from Yomotsu in the future since the two of them are soulmates, he still doesn't want to waste this moment anyway. Being like this with Yomotsu makes him feel so warm and happy, it'll pass way too soon if he goes to sleep now.
He smiles a little against the other though, seemingly nowhere near as worried as Yomotsu himself is. ]
But even if I'd sleep.. you'd be there when I wake up, right?
[ Yomotsu wouldn't leave him.. that's something he still believes, even now Yomotsu almost did leave him. And under the worst circumstances possible, on top of it. ]
[Maybe he's over thinking all of this, but it still feels like he needs to be extra cautious- no matter what he decides to do. Stay with Taiki and keep him warm before he does anything else? Go get him food now? There aren't too many different options, but his mind still keeps going back and forth with what'd be the best course of action.
Then again, maybe the best thing he could do is just ask Taiki what he wants himself.]
Do you want me to go get you something now...? I'll have to get up again for a second, but I'll come right back...
[In a somewhat tentative motion, he moves his hand up and down against the back of Taiki's head- trying to be more reassuring. It still feels like his motions are a bit awkward...these're things he's not used to doing at all normally.
But he really needs Taiki to know that he won't leave for good- not again, and not for long. Even though he's sure by now that the boy would believe him, it's not good enough just to know that he will come back...Yomotsu needs to make sure Taiki knows he'll come back fast too. That he won't leave him like he did before...not again. That's something he could never bring himself to do again.
And so...]
I'll be here...even if I'm gone for a second, it's just to get you something. And then I'll be here again.
[He doesn't want to leave Taiki without telling him...but this is just in case- just in case Taiki needs something that Yomotsu has to go get for him, maybe after he's fallen asleep too.]
[ It's true, not even a part of Taiki thinks that Yomotsu would abandon him now. If he didn't even think so back when the other was acting a lot more prickly towards him, then why would he ever start to think it now the other is holding him and curled up so close to him in bed? Taiki really believes the fact that Yomotsu will come back no matter what without a doubt, and his body language seems pretty relaxed because of it too, like he has absolutely nothing to worry about right now.
So all the reassuring from Yomotsu isn't exactly needed, but the human smiles anyway when he hears all of it. It's just nice to hear it too, Yomotsu promising so much that he'll come back, that he'll be by his side right away again. That means Yomotsu must like being around him just as much as Taiki likes being around Yomotsu, right?
He laughs weakly - the weak part more due to his body's current condition than anything else, since he really is happy - and wiggles slightly against the other. ]
Can't you take me with you..?
[ Yes, it's not like he doesn't trust Yomotsu, he knows the other will come back.. but now the fox spirit is giving him more affection than usually, Taiki doesn't want to miss out on a moment of it. He just doesn't want to stop cuddling with Yomotsu.
Then again, it's not exactly a good idea for him to leave the bed right now. He's so tired from sitting out there all night, not to mention he caught a cold, so Taiki's body probably isn't energetic and strong enough to support him right now. But Taiki isn't the type to consider that at all - he's just thinking about how he doesn't want to leave Yomotsu's side at all right now, and so he naively speaks up. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
In fact, it's been a day. A whole day. The fox spirit had told him that yesterday, and a whole night had passed since then. It wasn't even early in the morning anymore by now - it was already well into the next day. Late morning, maybe? It's not like Taiki, the kind of guy without a watch or a phone, could tell. Judging by the way the sun has already climbed quite a way up into the sky though, it should already be somewhere around noon by now. Truly almost a full day since the other had left him here by himself.
But it's not like he's worried. Not at all, actually! If Yomotsu said he'd be back and that Taiki didn't have to follow him, then he'd just sit here and wait for him. The two of them are connected, right? They're destined, soulmates, so of course Yomotsu would come back to him, even if it's taking a while. The thought that the other might have tried to ditch him this way doesn't even cross his mind, like Taiki is incapable of believing anyone would do that, let alone his soulmate of a spirit.
It's not like waiting has necessarily been great though. It wasn't terrible either, since nothing is terrible to Taiki, but there have been moments where he got a little bored. Some moments were fine, especially the ones where some of the smaller spirits would find him and play around with him on the spot, but left by him the only thoughts he had to amuse himself with were thoughts of Yomotsu. (They were a pretty good distraction, though - he can't seem to wipe the smile off his face every single time he thinks about the other, and thinking that they'll be next to each other again any moment Yomotsu would show up.) And even aside from the slightly boring moments, there were the moments that had been more dangerous, even if it didn't register with Taiki. It was pretty cold overnight, and although it wasn't nearly bad enough that he'd freeze, it still might have given him a starting cold. To not even speak about some of the spirits that had passed by.. with his kind of bad luck, any of them could have eaten or killed Taiki without leaving behind a single trace.
But that didn't happen. The cold might have, yes, since his luck does suck and spending one night outside in the cold is enough to make him instantly catch one, but by Taiki standards, it's lucky. He didn't die or anything, and he's still sitting there in exactly the same spot as before, smiling just the same. He isn't worried, or scared, and even his own sniffing from his runny nose doesn't really bother him, because all he can think about is Yomotsu.
A little corny to anyone else, maybe, but to Taiki it's just a thought that makes his heart feel so warm that he doesn't want to think about anything else.
Ironically enough - a slight case of bad luck, maybe - he isn't looking up by the time the other actually does show back up. Instead he's sitting there with his knees practically drawn up to his chest, admiring the red string that's still stuck around his finger just like always, incredibly unbothered by the fact he literally spent an entire day just sitting here and waiting for the other. ]
no subject
And that's why yesterday, he'd finally snapped.
The instant he'd yelled at Taiki to stay put and then stormed off- promising to come back- it'd felt great. Finally. The only thing that might actually work for a change. It seemed like such an easy solution too, like it'd been a wonder he hadn't thought of it sooner. Things could go back to the way they were supposed to be. Just Yomotsu. On his own. Looking for his comb, with no one tagging along behind him.
Except...
...Except that feeling didn't last for more than a few seconds at best. Just a few steps away, and Yomotsu could already feel a sense of guilt creeping into his heart. One that he was angry for having to deal with at all, but one that still kept getting stronger and stronger with every step he took. And then with every few minutes that past.
He'd forced himself to just shake it off at first. It was stupid...feeling so guilty just for ditching some human. This is what Yomotsu'd wanted this whole time, he shouldn't have to feel shitty about it. He'd been clear enough that he didn't want Taiki following him around. He'd even said as much...but that still hadn't been enough to stop the human. So this was his only option left...wasn't it? Besides...obviously the guy would just...get the hint eventually anyway. And then he'd get over it, and probably find someone else to harass instead. It wasn't Yomotsu's problem to deal with anymore. What he should really do is just get the hell away. Away from the field he'd left Taiki in, away from the town...away from the state. Just get out and forget about it and start focusing on his search again.
But he didn't.
As soon as he'd made it into town...he'd just. Seemed to slow down more and more. Like each of his steps started feeling heavier the longer he'd walked. Yomotsu'd thought maybe it'd get easier to just brush it off and forget about it the farther he got...but instead, the opposite had happened...and it felt like his mind started getting plagued with the very thought of Taiki. Because it was impossible to escape one, single question.
What if he did stay?
Even late into that night. What if Taiki was still there, even then? Still just...sitting there, waiting for him to come back? Just...alone, on that hilltop, without a bed, or without dinner, or anything. It seemed like such a stupid thought because he knows that probably literally any other human would leave after a certain point. Maybe after an hour? Maybe more, maybe less? But Taiki...Taiki has to be the one guy on this whole goddamned planet who might just take his words to heart. Who'd hear the word "promise" and cling to it with everything he had, and just...keep on waiting for Yomotsu to come back.
The thought wore down on him all night...to the point where Yomotsu couldn't even close his eyes or get any amount of sleep. He'd just laid down- his heart starting to race painfully in his chest while his mind was clouded with thoughts of Taiki alone in the dark. It was a thought that seemed to absolutely consume him- getting worse and worse and eating through him like a lethal disease.
But even so...Yomotsu is a stubborn creature. And he'd played games with his mind all night- trying to convince himself that it was ok. That it didn't matter even if Taiki did stay there. Because if he went back, he'd just be stuck with him again...and that wasn't worth it.
But even Yomotsu knew by then that he was lying to himself.
And even after he'd finally admitted that...The idea of going back...and seeing for himself if Taiki really was still there or not...it was enough to freeze him in place a while longer...and make a few more hours pass before he'd finally gotten to his feet and started a slow march back to the hill with his head hanging down.
The closer he started getting to the hill, the quicker his heart seemed to beat in his chest...and the more his mind started to chant over and over "don't be there, don't be there, don't be there, don't be there, please don't be there"- right up until he was taking his few last steps. Only this time...for once, it's not because he doesn't want to see Taiki. It's because having to face that Taiki really trusted him is...terrifying. The idea of anyone placing that kind of trust in him is terrifying. And then having to face the fact that he took advantage of that trust makes him feel like...absolute scum. Enough to make his heart wrench in his chest at the very thought of it...and enough to make him almost want to turn around and run away.
He doesn't though. He keeps on walking...even though it feels like his his body's being weighed down on, more and more the closer he gets. Right up until he's there...right at the top of the hill...where Taiki's finally visible.
And god...actually seeing him there with his own two eyes feels like his stomach's been gutted with a cold steel blade. Seeing him all hunched over like that...right in the exact spot Yomotsu'd left him...staring at his goddamned pinkie finger with the string around it.
Yomotsu can feel himself breaking apart at the sight of it, and something in him snaps again- just like yesterday. His hands ball into fists, and his lip trembles a little before the rest of him starts shaking too. His gaze falls down to the ground and he sucks in a breath- feeling tears start to form in the corners of his eyes.]
HEY...!
[His voice is loud, and angry, and it echoes through the quietness of the field around them...but it's not any anger that's truly directed at Taiki this time. He pauses for a moment- trying to fight back the tears before they break free.]
What...what the hell are you still doing here?!
no subject
But then it does at least dawn on the human boy that the other is yelling in his direction. It's something that's a little harder to understand.. it still doesn't startle him or anything though, and it doesn't make him look scared or that he feels bad. Instead Taiki just blinks.. almost curiously. Like he doesn't really understand where Yomotsu's reaction is coming from.
He doesn't understand it, after all. Why would Yomotsu raise his voice like that? Even compared to his normal grouchiness - half of which still goes over Taiki's head, mind you - this seems a little extreme. Yomotsu said he'd come back and that Taiki had to wait for him there, so he waited for him, and so Yomotsu came back just like he said.. what's supposed to be so strange about that that it's enough to make Yomotsu act so differently?
Despite the surprised blinking, Taiki does smile though. That expression is always very hard to get off his face, and it's even harder in the presence of the spirit he already cames so much about, despite not even having met that long ago. ]
Yomotsu!
[ He can't help but still call out the other's name happily as he stretches out his legs once more so he can actually look at the other instead of having to peer from behind his knees. He doesn't bother with getting up just yet though, just happily staring at Yomotsu from where he's sitting. ]
Um.. [ He does hum for a moment as he's thinking of the answer he's supposed to give here. Taiki thinks it's pretty obvious what he's doing here, Yomotsu is the one who told him to do it to begin with! But the other's reaction is so different from anything he expected that he does have to think for a moment before deciding to just say exactly what he's thinking. ]
I was waiting here for you like you asked. [ He moves a hand up to wipe at his nose a little, sniffing. The same innocent look still lingers in his eyes though, and it's more than obvious that he really did believe Yomotsu's words 100%. Even if the other hadn't come back, he still would have sat here and waited, even if it had taken days. Even if it would have killed him. It's just how Taiki is, after all. ] Until you came back! And now you're back, just like you said!
[ See, it's a great thing. A happy thing! They're reunited again, so what reason is there to seem so emotional? He can't quite grasp it. ]
no subject
How...how is that all he has to say?
What's worse is when Taiki starts sniffling like that...because of course...of fucking course he'd catch a cold too, wouldn't he? That's exactly the kind of luck this kid has...Except, realistically, Yomotsu knows this really is good luck given the circumstances, isn't it? Horrible images flash through his mind at the thought- mostly of some of the spirits that could've come skulking through the area...that probably could've ripped Taiki to shreds if he wouldn't have even tried to run or hide.
Yomotsu's fists curl up even tighter- almost painfully so- as his body starts shaking a little more noticeably than before. Even with those dangers already past, that small sign that Taiki got sick feels like an entire new weight on his conscious- one that carries all the implications of how it could've been worse...and all because Taiki had believed him when he'd said he'd come back.
How is he supposed to believe it's really just that simple...? In his heart, he seems to know that it must be, if it's Taiki saying that...and yet...]
Stop...Just...stop spewing out your same old bullshit. You're telling me you just sat here for day. A whole day? Not moving or sleeping or eating or doing...anything...? Just...out in the open. Right here. Right where I told you to stay.
[A small, shaky breath hisses out of his mouth.]
No one could actually be that much of an idiot...No one in their right mind would actually believe all of that...!
[It's like the only thing he can think to do in this one, frantic moment...is to lash out and try to hurt Taiki. Maybe that'd be easier to deal with, somehow...to see that Taiki is upset with him instead of just...happy. Happy to see him. But even as he spouts out the words, his chest twists up into painful knots- enough that he staggers a little at the thought of it actually hurting Taiki like it was supposed to.
Even though his words don't sound convincing to his own ears...if Taiki took his promise to come back at face value, he'd probably do the same here...wouldn't he?
Yomotsu moves one hand to the side of his own head- like he's trying to physically get a grip on the thought's that're rampaging through his mind. But all he can hear is his own heart pounding in his chest- faster and faster- and leaving his whole body feeling weak, and fragile.]
N...no one....no one could...
[His head bows down a little as he talks this time- hair falling over his eyes...and it looks like he might just collapse onto the ground at any moment.]
no subject
But that bubbly reaction dims when he notices what the other is saying now. And it's not even really what Yomotsu is saying, it's just.. his tone being so upset. It's shooting past its intended purpose since it's not making Taiki feel bad at all (that's a near impossible goal, anyway), but it's making him slowly start to frown a little at the same.
Because the other's tone.. it's worrying him. Something about it seems so hurt. But Taiki doesn't understand why that would be the case - why would Yomotsu be hurt? Taiki waited for him just like he promised, and now they're seeing each other again, so why would any of that be a sad thing? Yomotsu looks like he's about to either cry or collapse, but.. why...? ]
Yomotsu...
[ There's a way different tone to the way he says the name than his happy bubbly quick way from just now, but it clearly still doesn't sound hurt. He doesn't sound like he's about to cry because Yomotsu is angry at him.. instead he just sounds worried.
And it's obvious enough. Mostly since Taiki tries to get up only to find himself unable to (sitting here without eating or sleeping and getting a cold took more of a toll on his body than he can imagine even now), but since he can't, he at least reaches out towards the spirit with a hand. Like he's trying to reach Yomotsu, or beckoning him closer. ]
Yomotsu, what's wrong..? [ To anyone else it might be obvious, but not to someone as innocent and sweet as Taiki. All he can see is that Yomotsu is hurting and he has no idea why, but still wants to make it better. It's what they're meant to do, after all. They're destined, soulmates - if they're not going to make each other happy, then who will?
His hand manages to reach the other's hand that's still hanging by his side, fingertips gently brushing against it before trying to fully grab it with his own. ]
Aren't you happy to see me too...?
no subject
But he doesn't get any time to recover from that sound at all. Because even as he stands there- eyes already wide with shock, and head bowed down towards the ground- he can still see Taiki's hand reaching out to him. His breath catches in his throat, and his heart freezes along wit the rest of him- time slowing down as he watches. The second he feels that hand against his own...that soft touch from the other's fingertips...his own hand flinches in response.
The more Taiki seems to reach out to him...to try to help...the harder it is for his mind, and his heart to keep up with anything that's happening. And the harder it is to come to terms with the fact that Taiki really is just..that selfless enough to care about Yomotsu, even when he'd abandoned him.
If that wasn't enough...as soon as that last question is out of the other's mouth, it sends an even greater shock through him- one that terrifies him more than anything else has so far. He takes a step back suddenly- head lifting up again to look at Taiki...but his eyes seem full of fear, and his lips are parted slightly from the same sense of panic. The shaking starts up again- stronger than it was before...but even through all of that, he still doesn't let go of the hand holding onto him. His own feels like dead weight right now in the other's grip...It feels cold and almost corpse-like by comparison to Taiki's...and it feels like it'd be impossible to take it back, even if he wanted to.
Yomotsu starts to take another step back- almost as if he wants to turn tail and just...run away from here. To escape from all of the fear mounting up inside of him, and do what he'd set out to do yesterday.
But even as that somewhat instinctual fear surges forward...Yomotsu can feel another fear that's taken root. One that's grown inside of him these past few hours, and grown even more strongly these past few minutes...All from a few sweet smiles...a few kind and happy words...a few soft touches...It's crazy. Because aren't these the exact same things that Yomotsu couldn't stand about Taiki- even a few days ago...? And yet...and yet, somehow...even the mere thought of abandoning those again feels far, far more terrifying than staying and facing this does.
Suddenly, his head bows back down again- hanging low and letting his hair drape over his eyes and cover them up...but it doesn't do much to hide the few small drops of tears that finally slide down his cheeks and off of his chin- dropping onto the ground below. It feels like something's coiled itself around his heart...squeezing harder and harder, and refusing to let go. But slowly...almost imperceptibly, he gives his head a small, resolute nod. Meaning..."yes". Yes...he's happy to see him.]
no subject
Because Yomotsu looks upset. The fear in his eyes, the panic in his expression, the way he nervously shakes, the way he cries.. that's not normal. That's not what someone does when they're happy. Maybe he could happily cry if he was so overwhelmed from seeing someone so important to him again, but Yomotsu doesn't seem like he's crying happily.
It makes worry spread through Taiki in a way he's never felt before. Even when he was sitting out here all night, he wasn't particularly worried, since he knew nothing could happen to him until he'd see the one destined for him again. But right now, being faced with that person looking so upset.. that does make him worry. And the worry definitely feels overwhelming with how new of a sensation it is for Taiki, making him instantly want to comfort the other.
And just holding hands isn't enough for that. Of course it's nice, but he figures that if Yomotsu is really even crying, then he has to do more. He doesn't even care how weak his body feels from sitting here without sleep or food, he pries himself off the ground as well as he can, moving to hug the other...
... but due to how unstable his body is from being so weak, he more just crashes straight into the other, making them fall into a pile of limbs on the floor - Yomotsu on his back with Taiki on top of him. Not that this momentary setback stops the human in any way, he's trying to wrap his arms around the other as well as he can after that crash all the same. ]
Yomotsu.. [ Maybe he just needs a hug. Taiki knows he likes being hugged. It's a warm feeling, and nice, and it always makes him feel happy.. so with the way he's wrapped his arms around the other and is pressing his head to Yomotsu's chest, he's bound to feel happy, right? He's bound to stop letting those tears fall, right? ]
Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry..
[ Because Taiki can't think of any other reason why Yomotsu would be this upset while he's still happy to see him. Maybe he actually was meant to wait in a different spot, or maybe he was supposed to get Yomotsu something.. he isn't sure, but he would do absolutely anything to make it up to the other, even if that right now amounts to just cuddling the other to death, lifting his head a little bit to be able to look the other in the face with big, innocent puppy-like eyes. ]
We're together now though, so.. don't worry, okay? I'm not going anywhere! I promise..!
no subject
When Taiki comes crashing into him, he doesn't do anything to stop it...in fact, for half a second in the heat of the moment, he wonders if maybe Taiki is upset with him. Until he's laying on his back with the other boy on top of him, and Taiki's burying his face into his chest and wrapping his arms around him.
And then...Taiki apologizing to him...asking if he did something wrong?
He can't believe this. He just...can't. Now of all times...Taiki's trying to make him feel better.
It doesn't help...Taiki trying to console him right now just makes everything twist up inside of him even more with guilt. Yomotsu knows he doesn't deserve to feel better after what he'd done anyway...But for once, he also doesn't want to make Taiki worry either.
The tears keep falling down his face and he can't stop himself from shaking against Taiki...but there's at least something he can do to make it a little better.
He shuts his eyes...and slowly starts moving his arms- letting them inch around Taiki to hold him closer for the first time. And the second he does, it hits Yomotsu just how cold the other feels too. He sucks in a breath and tries to fight back against the tears- leaning his head down against Taiki's and then gently turning both of them so they're each laying on their sides and facing each other. It'll be easier to keep him warm this way, at least...and he curls up around the boy a little more.]
I know...I know you wont.
[One of his hands slides up Taiki's back, and gently through his hair.]
And I...won't either.
no subject
But then he can feel the other's hold slip around him too, and it makes a lot of things feel better. Even though he isn't sure why the other was so upset, Yomotsu is holding him too.. and it feels so nice and warm that he can't think of anything else for a moment as Yomotsu nestles up to him like that. Taiki hardly even noticed how cold and hungry and tired he was out there by himself, he was too busy thinking about the other and when he'd come the whole time. But now Yomotsu is right next to him, it's all slowly starting to kick in.. his face feels like ice, and he buries his nose against Yomotsu's shoulder in an attempt to warm it up a little bit.
It's not as if Taiki wasn't crazy about the other from the first moment he saw him and realised Yomotsu was his soulmate.. but all of this just makes his affection even stronger. It feels so nice, the way the other's hand runs up his back, through his hair.. it feels comforting. It makes the whole wait for Yomotsu's return feel like nothing, despite how long it actually was. Despite the fact that he got sick because of it - there's a cough muffled somewhere between his hand and Yomotsu's shirt. ]
I won't have to wait by myself anymore? I'm glad...
[ Not that he per se minds to wait for the other.. he'd gladly do it as long as it's for Yomotsu. He'd always wait for him, no matter how long - if anything, all of this proved that much. But he can't deny either that it feels so much nicer to be around the other, even being held like this.. ]
It's a good thing, right..? [ He snuggles against the other, sounding almost half sleepy with how comfortable he's becoming like this despite the circumstances. ] So don't cry anymore, Yomotsu..
no subject
He keeps his arms around Taiki and lets out a long, shaky breath- trying to calm himself down a little. At this point, it's more for Taiki's benefit than it is his own. After all the shit he's done, he doesn't want to let the boy be worried for even a moment longer. And besides...hearing that normally cheery voice be anything other than happy...it just keeps on tightening the feeling in his chest. It's just not right...someone like Taiki really does deserve to be happy as often as he is.
It still doesn't stop the tears from falling...but Yomotsu feels like he could start to calm down, at least a little. As long as its for his sake.
At Taiki's question too, he nods slowly- eyes still squeezed shut.]
Yeah...it's a good thing.
[First, he'll warm Taiki up a while longer...it feels like it'd be impossible for him to get up right now anyway, even if he kept the boy in his arms. So the least he can do is this. It feels like the only good quality of his that he can offer right now- that he's got plenty of body warmth to share.
He moves the hand behind Taiki's head- letting it blindly brush across his face, and press it gently against his cold cheeks and his nose. It still feels like ice against the warmth of his hand...who knows how long it'll take to get him warm again.
But as soon as he can, he'll take Taiki...and carry him out of here, even. He'll take him someplace even warmer...and get him food...make him comfortable. It'll be better...he'll do better.]
no subject
He isn't sure, but.. he feels like they'll be alright. Taiki doesn't feel like he has to worry about his soulmate anymore right now, so the smile already starts returning to his face a little. Sure, it's slightly dopey because of how sleepy he feels and the cold he got, but it's still meant. Genuine. He can't think of any place he'd be happier than right here in Yomotsu's arms.
The boy even giggles a little bit when Yomotsu moves his hand across his face like that. He didn't really feel how cold he was for a while now, like his sense of cold has just been numbed, but it's a little more obvious again with just how warm the other's hand is against his face. ]
That tickles...
[ Just a little bit though, and obviously not in any way he minds, considering the way Taiki almost tries to move his face a little more against the hand, like he's trying to get every moment of skinship with Yomotsu as he can out of this moment. Like a puppy nuzzling its mother, really. Even as his voice is still a little slower with how tired he is.
He lets out a breath though that sounds fairly content. He doesn't care that he's cold or sleepy or hungry or anything. As long as he can lie here while being held by Yomotsu, Taiki wouldn't care even if it lasted for days. Just being close to the other - especially since it's the first time Yomotsu has ever moved to have this much physical contact with Taiki by himself instead of Taiki just physically harassing him - is enough to forget anything else. ]
You're so warm, Yomotsu...
[ Not that Taiki isn't cold enough that anything would feel warm at this point. But Yomotsu being a natural heater sure is helping that fact even more. ]
no subject
Since Taiki seems to like his face being touched so much, Yomotso forces his eyes open to see what he's doing a little bit better. It doesn't help completely, since the tears are still blurring his vision, even if they're starting to slow down a little. But the sight of Taiki's smile returning to his face makes Yomotsu feel like there's a hand gripping tightly onto his heart again. Seems like this feeling isn't going to let up anytime soon, from the way things have been going.
He pauses for a moment to wipe his eyes off a bit, then moves his hand back to press it gently onto some of the redder looking parts of Taiki's face- his nose, his cheeks...then moving over to his ears a little too.]
Good. We'll stay like this a little longer so you can get warmer.
[At least this is one of the few things Yomotsu can't fuck up on. He even nestles a little closer against Taiki- like he's trying to will all of the warmth from his body to go to him instead.]
Just don't fall asleep yet, ok?
[Not until Yomotsu's can get him to eat and drink a little first. But as soon as they do that, he'll take him back home and Taiki can sleep as much as he wants. He leans his own face closer to give the other's a gentle, and surprisingly affectionate nudge with his nose. Just stay awake with him a little longer.]
no subject
Not to mention Taiki is just too naive and pure. He doesn't think at all about how most people who fall asleep in the open after being so cold just die like that - he wouldn't even be able to imagine something that sad, not the boy who's all sunshines and smiles constantly. All he can think about is how warm and soft Yomotsu is, and how happy he would be just to sleep by his side like this. It's an opportunity he hasn't really had yet with how the other always tried to push him away (even though, in Taiki's eyes, that's not what ever happened). ]
I'm comfy though...
[ Taiki's voice is a little more drowsy, although not enough so that it sounds like he's entirely falling asleep already. Maybe just a little bit. It makes his reply sound more childish than anything else, but that's something that suits Taiki anyway.
For now he seems more occupied though with nestling even closer to Yomotsu, like he really is trying to bask in the other's body heat - and more importantly, company - as much as he can. But at least he's still smiling, seeming as content as can be, no matter what he has been through for the other. ]
no subject
He feels guilty before he even does it, but Yomotsu keeps his arms around Taiki and sits up- still holding the other boy too. Sorry Taiki...it's not that he doesn't want you to be comfortable, but...he can't stay like that. He can't take the risk of anything going worse than it already has.
Yomotsu shakes him just a tiny bit too for good measure- a very gentle one to try to wake him up, before tugging the other boy right up against him afterwards. He shakes his head against Taiki too- urgency in his voice now.]
You can't...you can't sleep right now. You have to stay awake with me.
[As much as he wanted to warm the boy up more before they left, he decides that they can't wait around anymore. Taking him into a warm bed, getting him water, and feeding him a hot meal...all of that will come first. And only when he's sure Taiki will be ok, then he'll let him sleep. And Yomotsu will stay the whole time too...he'll watch over him all night.
Without warning, he shifts a little to lift Taiki up into his arms. It's relatively easy for Yomotsu to carry the boy, at least...and he still keeps them pressed closed together too, even as he starts to walk.]
When we get inside somewhere, I'll hug you, or...or do whatever else you want, ok? But you have to stay awake first.
no subject
But the urgency does get through to him. Even though being carried in Yomotsu's arms is just as comfortable as lying there with him, or sitting there against him, and even though it's so very tempting to just go ahead and sleep like this.. he can't just do that. Not when even Taiki, who can be a little oblivious sometimes, can notice the tone in the other's voice. He doesn't want to make Yomotsu worry about him, not when he actually realises it and can help him. He doesn't want Yomotsu to ever have to sound like he's worried or on edge, so the least think he can do here is try to stay awake for a while longer, right? He's been doing it all night, so surely he can at least do it for a little while more until they get somewhere comfortable enough to sleep.
So his eyes do open pretty widely to show that he's not falling asleep anymore, shaking his head a little while lying there in the other's arms to try and shake his mind awake a little more too. ]
I'll stay awake.. I promise. [ His voice is a little more gentle than his usual chipper energy, but maybe it's partially because he's still tired to begin with. Or maybe he just really does want to just reassure Yomotsu to the best of his abilities right now.
(Not that it means he doesn't make himself comfortable in the other's grasp anyway, okay.. it's just nice, being carried by Yomotsu like this. He likes it, and a smile appears on his face.) ]
... You'll really hug me though? [ That brings back a little bit of the chipperness, even though it's still a tad muted. ] As much as I want?
[ Be careful there, Yomotsu, you may just have a Taiki clinging to you for the rest of your life like you're an oversized teddy bear... His affection knows no bounds, especially when it comes to hugging and cuddling. ]
no subject
In fact, as soon as Taiki's eyes open wide and he makes that promise, Yomotsu lets out a breath he'd been holding. Maybe it's no guarantee that the guy won't start getting sleepy again, but...well, Yomotsu's pretty damn sure that if he makes a promise, he'll try to keep it. Especially after everything that's happened...so it's a little reassuring at least.
He slows to a stop for a moment...pulling the other closer to himself and squeezing him a tiny bit- doing the best he can to hug him while he's already holding him like this. As if it's a promise of more to come.]
Yeah...as much as you want.
[His eyes squeeze shut again- feeling like the tears are starting to well up again from hearing that chipperness in the other's voice...This guy really is trying to make him feel better, isn't he?
This goddamned red string of fate bullshit...Yomotsu feels like it must be wrong more than ever before. But only because there's no way some scum of the earth like him could deserve someone like Taiki. Someone who would try to make him feel better even after Yomotsu left him out alone in the cold all night. Who may as well have left him for dead, all things considered...
Still...he knows how important that thing is to Taiki. So...]
W-we're............we're soulmates, right? ...Of course I'll hug you more...
no subject
Finally he's together with Yomotsu... and finally Yomotsu is saying the exact things Taiki imagined his soulmate would tell him once they met. Not that any of the other's earlier behaviour bothered him at all. Even when Yomotsu was clearly - to any normal person, anyway - trying to get rid of him, Taiki didn't think he was being mean in the slightest. But even oblivious Taiki who sees the best in absolutely anything can't deny that this is a lot more like what he imagined being with his soulmate would be like. His soulmate carrying him when he's tired, his soulmate promising him he'll hug him as much as Taiki wants... what more could he ever need in his life, honestly?
At least it helps with making him more excited, and being more excited means that his tiredness is being fended off for another moment. Even though his body still feels incredibly heavy, his eyes can't help but shine at the very thought of cuddling with Yomotsu. That's definitely worth trying to stay up for a little bit more.
He nuzzles his head a little against Yomotsu's shoulder while the other is still carrying him - closing his eyes again, but at least seeming very much awake for now. ]
That's the first time you said that...
[ It doesn't sound accusatory though, no matter how much that might be expected in a situation like this. Yomotsu did abandon him, but.. Taiki doesn't mind. He doesn't blame the other.. he's too innocent to even realise the other's intentions. He just genuinely thinks Yomotsu told him to wait for him and then came back for him, the long wait between isn't even that strange in his mind. Especially not if his spirit soulmate came back more affectionate than before, then that could only be a good thing to him. ]
no subject
It seems simultaneously impossible and easy to be able to live up to Taiki's expectations. Easy because Taiki really is happy even when Yomotsu doesn't try...but impossible because he does want to try now, and even then...it feels like he could never give Taiki as much as he actually deserves.]
Y-yeah...well...I'll start saying it more often, then.
[Anytime before now, and he never would've believed he could've said that at all- at least, not in any serious manner. Calling them soulmates still feels weird...and not in a way that he can place, either. It seems like it'd be impossible for him to be that mushy on a regular basis, but...if he's already done it once, he can do it again. Besides, it feels like he could agree to literally anything Taiki asked him to do in a moment like this. He doesn't think he'd have it in him to say no.
With another shaky breath, Yomotsu starts walking again- picking up the pace a little bit more. He's wasted enough time feeling sorry for himself...right now it's more important to just deal with his own shitty feelings and get Taiki somewhere that's not outdoors.]
Do you live nearby?
[He murmurs the question softly against the other's head...but that'd probably be the best place to take him, right? It's not like Yomotsu's an expert on booking hotel rooms for the human world, or anything...If push comes to shove, he'll figure something else out, but...getting Taiki back to his home and his own bed should be better than him picking some random place.]
no subject
He curls up a little more in Yomotsu's arms, even though he makes sure to keep his eyes open so the other won't worry. He just tries focussing on little things to keep himself awake.. like Yomotsu's face being right there, like how nice Yomotsu's arms feel around him, like tangling his fingers a little more in the red thread that hangs around his pinky as even more of a physical reminder that the most important person is right here with him. The world could be ending around them and all Taiki would have eyes for right now is the fox spirit carrying him. His fond smile seems to indicate as much.
Taiki nods at the question, although it's a little slowly from the sleepiness. ]
The street past these trees... The third house. [ His words are still a little mumbled because of it too, but with how close Yomotsu's face is right now, they should be plenty audible. ]
There should be a key under the flower pot.. [ As oblivious as Taiki is about a lot of things, at least he doesn't forget some important things like these - otherwise they would be stuck outside. ] I left it in case no one was home.
[ Since being locked out is a problem that Taiki frequently experiences, although it's rare for him to actually think ahead and make sure it won't happen - at least Yomotsu is lucky in that regard when it comes to quickly finding a safe place for the human boy to sleep. ]
no subject
Maybe the Taiki'd even told him where the house was before, but seeing that he already had to ask...he definitely doesn't remember it. He's sure that he wouldn't have paid attention anyway, even if it got brought up... At least his house being close is also a very good thing, because it means they don't have long before Taiki's inside and warm and safe. Better than hearing it's across town and he'd have a bit of a hike before he could get that.
Yomotsu closes his eyes and nods against Taiki a little. They're simple enough instructions, and it's honestly a huge relief that it's another thing he doesn't have to worry about.]
Ok...
[His voice still sounds soft, and he gives Taiki another little squeeze when he says it.]
I won't let you fall, but...hold on anyway, ok?
[He waits for a moment to make sure his arms are securely around the other before breaking out into a run. It's a little harder like this- in this form, and carrying a human no less...But it's really not that far away. Besides...this is the least he can do. Taiki's spent way too long outside because of him, and he shouldn't have to spend even an extra second out here.
It still doesn't take him long at all to reach the house and follow what Taiki'd said- fumbling with the flower pot, and then the key underneath...Then before you know it, they've got their way in. At least it must be the right house, since he'd found the key...Yomotsu doesn't even take a second to look around, he just shoves the door right open, elbows it closed again, and then storms inside in hopes of getting Taiki into the nearest bed.]
no subject
Getting home does at least vaguely register with Taiki, even though he doesn't consciously realise how lucky they are that no one is home right now. No matter how little they care about Taiki, surely his relatives would at least ask why there's a stranger in their house - and even if Yomotsu turned himself invisible to normal humans, it'd still be impossible to carry Taiki in without making him look like he's just.. well, floating in the air.
But this definitely is the best case scenario, being able to go into the house without anyone asking questions, while Taiki can just give Yomotsu instructions about where his room is with a soft and sleepy voice.
(Not that the room isn't very obviously Taiki's anyway when you see it. It's definitely a small room, like giving it to him was some kind of afterthought, but there's a bed with a mountain of soft blankets and a collection of ordinary stuff no one would otherwise think to bring inside, like rocks and leaves and the like.
When Yomotsu does manage to get him into the bed, Taiki slowly pulls up at least one of the blankets over him - lacking the strength to really do more than that right now. But it feels warm and comfortable, and when he looks up to see the fox spirit standing there, he reaches his arms up to Yomotsu - almost like a baby would - to try and get the other to come closer. The only thing he can think of right now that would make this situation more comfortable would be to have Yomotsu right there with him to use as a teddy bear of sorts. ]
no subject
Yomotsu lets out a short, soft breath of relief once Taiki's finally in his bed with a blanket over him. His mind is still racing with things he needs to do- warm him up more, get him some water, and food...there're so many thoughts racing around in his head that, for a moment, he's not even sure what to do first. Blankets...that should be easy enough, right? He's right here anyway, and that'll make Taiki warmer too. But before he even gets that thought together enough to start moving, Taiki's already reaching up to him like that...like he wants him to come closer, right...?
This still isn't something Yomotsu's used to, by any means. Acting softer towards Taiki, but also just...acting like this in general. Any time before now and he still would've recoiled from a gesture like that...But not now. As much as Taiki's doing anything he asks, Yomotsu feels like he's in the same bind now...he can't imagine turning down anything he asks for. Even though he can't shake the worry of being able to address Taiki's needs, he can't just...tell him to wait, and leave either. Not after he already made him wait for so long...
A little while...that should be ok, right? He'll lay down with Taiki first and pull some blankets over him to get him nice and warm...And then he can go grab anything else he needs. And when he does, he'll come back this time...right away.
There's still a little bit of hesitation as the fox spirit moves a hand- flinching very slightly as he reaches out towards the boy's outstretched ones. But he still does take one of those hands- moving down closer towards him slowly...until he's right up against Taiki. Right now this is still Yomotsu bending over the bed- not fulling getting onto it just yet...but he still slowly wraps his arms around Taiki again, and nestles his face down into his neck.
He still feels cold...of course he wouldn't warm up that quickly, huh? Yomotsu reaches one hand back- just so he can start dragging more of those blankets on top of the other boy first...making sure it's enough to make him extra comfortable. But once there're enough piled up, Yomotsu carefully slides himself in besides the other boy- shoving part of the blankets aside just so he can make room for himself in there too.
As soon as he's up against Taiki, he curls around him again too...hoping that he can share as much of his body heat as possible.]
Is this good...?
no subject
It's such a nice thing... It makes Taiki's chest feel so incredibly warm, no matter how cold he was only a little bit before. He can feel so much of Yomotsu against him, almost all around him - like he's completely surrounded by the other, and nothing could feel more nice and warm like that. He doesn't even want to sleep just yet, just so he can enjoy a little bit more of this feeling. Warm blankets over him, Yomotsu's arms around him, the hot breath against his neck...
Even though Taiki's eyes are closed for a moment, he still looks so incredibly content with his wide smile and the way he snuggles up as close as he can do the other, seeming pretty active for how tired he was earlier - it must just be something about Yomotsu's presence - his soulmate's presence - making him feel less tired.
He blindly seeks out the other's face with how his eyes are still closed, his nose gently rubbing against Yomotsu's own for a moment before his face travels further to plant small soft kisses on the spirit's cheek.
It's so warm, and nice, and soft.. This is all he ever wanted. This is all he ever wants, considering he can't think of anything he would want more than just lying here with the other like this.
So he nods, his head practically rubbing along the other as he does with how closely tangled up the two of them are right now. ]
I love you, Yomotsu..
[ It's not really an answer to what the other asked him.
But that doesn't matter to Taiki. It's what's at the forefront of his mind right now, and Taiki has always been simple enough to just say whatever comes to mind - he's too genuine and open. And how could he think about anything other than how much he loves his soulmate when he's just lying there under the blankets with him? It's only further proof of how the thought has never even crossed his mind that Yomotsu wanted to abandon him or that it's the other's fault that he was staying outside in the cold all night. ]
no subject
Hearing that someone loves you...it's supposed to be a good thing, isn't it? It's supposed to make you feel happy...No, even more than that. It's beyond just regular happiness...Is that what he should be feeling now...?
But instead, Yomotsu just...just feels like tears might start spilling down his cheeks any second now. It feels like all the guilt and resentment towards his actions start rising up inside of him again- at dangerously high levels that make him feel like he could lose it at any moment. It's just that...no matter how he looks at it, he can't ever believe that he would deserve hearing something like that. Why should he deserve something like that...? Why should Yomotsu...why, after he'd told Taiki to get lost so many times...after he tried to ditch him. After he'd actually almost abandoned him completely...He just...doesn't. There wouldn't be anything that could convince him otherwise.
And yet...Taiki's still decided to say that to him anyway. And Yomotsu knows he'd never be able to tell Taiki he shouldn't love him...not with the way the human is. Even that wouldn't be his right to do, would it...? And even if he'd try...it seems like there's nothing on the earth or otherwise that could dissuade Taiki from this. How did someone like him get a love that strong...that withstanding. All that Yomotsu can really do is...just do his best to try to earn that love. That's his only real hope right now...and it's the best thing that he can do for Taiki too. To be better for him...to work on feeling like he really is someone that's worthy of being loved by Taiki. No matter how hard it'll be.
Before the boy can see tears forming in his eyes again, Yomotsu moves his head- burying his face into the top of his hair, and squeezing his eyes shut. He nuzzles his face against the other- hoping that it'll make it harder for Taiki to notice anything...he just doesn't want him to worry again. He does move his face back a little though after a second...just enough to be able to talk again.
Even starting to talk makes his heart start to beat faster in his chest...and faster again by the second. No matter how he feels right now...he just...he can't not say anything to Taiki in return. He has to answer...he owes him absolutely anything he wants, including his own heart.]
I...ah...
[He sniffs a little, and squeezes his eyes shut tighter- trying to force the tears back...and trying to keep the shakiness out of his own voice.]
I...I l-love you too...
no subject
Instead, dazed or not, this feels more like the happiest he's ever felt. It's not like he usually isn't happy, but despite his sleepy state, this time it feels like the happiness is so strong that it'll burst straight out of him. None of Yomotsu's rejection ever really got through to Taiki before, so he was never sad about any of it, but this still feels special anyway. He's never been lying together in one bed with Yomotsu like this, all curled up, with the other telling him he loves him... What could be better than that for someone who's as clingy to his destined soulmate as Taiki is?
So he just giggles lightly, pressing himself as close to the other as possible. ]
You said it..
[ It's not as if Yomotsu not saying it before bothered him - Taiki never seemed sad because he just plainly wasn't sad - but it at least did register somewhere in his oblivious mind that Yomotsu never actually said it, even though Taiki all this time assumed the fox spirit felt it anyway. But now he is saying it, which only makes this whole situation feel even warmer.
And it makes him seem so incredibly content, lazily (due to his sleepiness) smiling against the other. ]
You're the best.
[ And that's just the truth to Taiki. No matter how much Yomotsu might guilt or blame himself for everything that happened up until this point, Taiki doesn't know any of it. Because he genuinely believes this - that Yomotsu is amazing, perfect for him. Only Yomotsu gives him this extra warm feeling in his chest, after all. Only Yomotsu has ever come to curl around him in bed like this, making Taiki feel like he belongs. This is what he expected out of having a soulmate all along. ]
no subject
But that just reinforces the idea that...if even the smallest effort from him will make Taiki happier...he owes it to the other boy to try to give at least that. More than that. Especially now that he's seeing Taiki in such a happy daze...all because of something he said. If he has the power to do that...to make Taiki feel like that...then he can't hold back anymore. No matter how hard it is for him to do and say things like this, he'll just have to suck it up and try. If he said those words once...he can absolutely do it again. Maybe it'll even get easier...a little less nerve wracking. Who knows...
He closes his eyes- his face burying back into Taiki's hair again as he shakes his head against him. When he talks, his words are a little muffled too.]
No...you are.
[That much should be clear...there's no way he could measure up to Taiki.
Even though all the times he'd rejected the other...that's a thing of the past. He squeezes his eyes shut even harder- trying to block out all of the memories of...virtually all their past encounters. But he knows he can't get rid of them completely...not if he wants to make sure he never makes that same mistake again. He can't...he just can't. Especially not when Taiki's sitting there...saying he's the best. There's not a chance he could believe that now....but he can still try to work his way into being better.
He tilts his head to press his cheek against the top of the other's head- moving a hand up to move it through some of his hair. Taiki will be safe now...safe and warm. He'll get better...]
no subject
You wouldn't tell judging by Taiki's personality, but it's not like he's ever done this before with anyone, after all. No matter how bright and physically affectionate Taiki is as a person, most people he's encountered in his life have pushed him away the way Yomotsu did just before. It's how he ended up being bounced from distant relative to distant relative after his parents died, no one truly wanting to take care of the boy. Maybe it's why Yomotsu's rejections never really seemed to get through to him.. He was already used to blocking all of it out by then, ending up completely oblivious to people's less than stellar intentions.
But it makes everything about this moment feel even more special. No matter how happy he is by default, this still makes him feel a little extra warm, a little extra loved.. It's a new experience for Taiki, and it makes him wish for this moment where the two of them are cuddled up so close together to never stop. ]
I feel a lot warmer now..
[ It's definitely muffled again, but he's still trying to make sure the other can hear it. Even though Taiki doesn't fully know about all of the negative thoughts going through the other's head, or just the full extent of how much Yomotsu is worrying about him after him having stayed out there all day and night.. he still figured from what the other said earlier that Yomotsu wanted him to be warm, right? So Taiki knows he at least has to let the other know as much now, that his limbs don't feel as stiff anymore now he's under his usual blanket pile, with Yomotsu in there with him like his own personal cuddle heater. ]
That's good, right?
[ It's not as much Taiki asking it objectively - as oblivious as he can be, he knows it's better to be this warm than being too cold - but it's more just about the implication in it. It's good, so it should make Yomotsu happy.. that's what he wants, anyway. Just seeing Yomotsu, let alone being this close to him, fills him with so much happiness.. So all he wants to do is make sure the other is happy too.
That's what soulmates do, right? ]
no subject
And really, he'd never guess that about Taiki not cuddling before either. It seems even more unlikely in his mind...especially with the way the other seems to nestle right up against him- like it's the most natural thing in the world. And then Yomotsu being the first to do this with him just...seems so unreal.
He's still treating this like it's important anyway, and he feels a rush of relief wash over him from Taiki's words too. So he's getting warmer...that is good. Definitely good. Yomotsu hadn't even noticed the human getting less and less cold in his arms, since his mind had been so focused on actually trying to warm him up. There's a slight pause as he runs the thoughts through his head, but he nods after a moment- realizing he still has to answer Taiki outloud too.]
Yeah...yeah, definitely. Just stay up a while longer...just...just to be sure.
[Even if things are looking good, Yomotsu's still so panic-stricken at the idea of fucking up and letting Taiki drift off too soon. It's not like he's a doctor, and he sure as hell doesn't know a lot about human health...but he can still guess at the general idea of things.
Yomotsu nuzzles against him again- like he's redoubling his efforts to keep on making the other feel better, bit by bit.]
We'll...we'll eat something together later. When you're feeling a bit better.
no subject
[ Probably more than just a little bit, considering Taiki didn't exactly move from the spot Yomotsu told him to wait at to grab something to eat or anything. He didn't even try to go to some convenience store nearby to buy something just to make sure he would still be there if Yomotsu came back, no matter when it was. And it's not exactly like anyone here at home missed him when he skipped dinner, so the consequence is that the boy's stomach is practically empty by now. It doesn't bother him though - what bothers someone as bubbly as Taiki? - and he probably doesn't even feel the full extent of it while he's cuddling with the other like this. That's much more at the forefront of his mind than anything else.
At least he is being good and not falling asleep, so he's not making it harder for the other. Taiki still seems a bit sleepy or dazed, yes, but the way he's actively leaning into the other's nuzzling and moving slightly against him is enough to indicate Taiki is still very much awake.
Besides.. ]
I don't want to sleep anymore right now though.. [ Not because he isn't tired, mind you. No matter how Taiki's personality is, it's not like his body can exactly keep up with suddenly staying up the whole night out there in the cold. ] Not while you're here.
[ That's more the reason. Even though Taiki is sure he'll be able to get lots more of this from Yomotsu in the future since the two of them are soulmates, he still doesn't want to waste this moment anyway. Being like this with Yomotsu makes him feel so warm and happy, it'll pass way too soon if he goes to sleep now.
He smiles a little against the other though, seemingly nowhere near as worried as Yomotsu himself is. ]
But even if I'd sleep.. you'd be there when I wake up, right?
[ Yomotsu wouldn't leave him.. that's something he still believes, even now Yomotsu almost did leave him. And under the worst circumstances possible, on top of it. ]
no subject
Then again, maybe the best thing he could do is just ask Taiki what he wants himself.]
Do you want me to go get you something now...? I'll have to get up again for a second, but I'll come right back...
[In a somewhat tentative motion, he moves his hand up and down against the back of Taiki's head- trying to be more reassuring. It still feels like his motions are a bit awkward...these're things he's not used to doing at all normally.
But he really needs Taiki to know that he won't leave for good- not again, and not for long. Even though he's sure by now that the boy would believe him, it's not good enough just to know that he will come back...Yomotsu needs to make sure Taiki knows he'll come back fast too. That he won't leave him like he did before...not again. That's something he could never bring himself to do again.
And so...]
I'll be here...even if I'm gone for a second, it's just to get you something. And then I'll be here again.
[He doesn't want to leave Taiki without telling him...but this is just in case- just in case Taiki needs something that Yomotsu has to go get for him, maybe after he's fallen asleep too.]
no subject
So all the reassuring from Yomotsu isn't exactly needed, but the human smiles anyway when he hears all of it. It's just nice to hear it too, Yomotsu promising so much that he'll come back, that he'll be by his side right away again. That means Yomotsu must like being around him just as much as Taiki likes being around Yomotsu, right?
He laughs weakly - the weak part more due to his body's current condition than anything else, since he really is happy - and wiggles slightly against the other. ]
Can't you take me with you..?
[ Yes, it's not like he doesn't trust Yomotsu, he knows the other will come back.. but now the fox spirit is giving him more affection than usually, Taiki doesn't want to miss out on a moment of it. He just doesn't want to stop cuddling with Yomotsu.
Then again, it's not exactly a good idea for him to leave the bed right now. He's so tired from sitting out there all night, not to mention he caught a cold, so Taiki's body probably isn't energetic and strong enough to support him right now. But Taiki isn't the type to consider that at all - he's just thinking about how he doesn't want to leave Yomotsu's side at all right now, and so he naively speaks up. ]