[There's no part of him that can even consider the idea of being careful with his own promise right here. Not if it'll make Taiki keep his promise of making sure he doesn't fall asleep so long as Yomotsu's still trying to help him get somewhere warmer first. He doesn't even care if he's not careful with it- he'll really do it, dammit! He'll hug this goddamned human constantly as long as he doesn't fall asleep and die after staying awake for a whole night.
In fact, as soon as Taiki's eyes open wide and he makes that promise, Yomotsu lets out a breath he'd been holding. Maybe it's no guarantee that the guy won't start getting sleepy again, but...well, Yomotsu's pretty damn sure that if he makes a promise, he'll try to keep it. Especially after everything that's happened...so it's a little reassuring at least.
He slows to a stop for a moment...pulling the other closer to himself and squeezing him a tiny bit- doing the best he can to hug him while he's already holding him like this. As if it's a promise of more to come.]
Yeah...as much as you want.
[His eyes squeeze shut again- feeling like the tears are starting to well up again from hearing that chipperness in the other's voice...This guy really is trying to make him feel better, isn't he?
This goddamned red string of fate bullshit...Yomotsu feels like it must be wrong more than ever before. But only because there's no way some scum of the earth like him could deserve someone like Taiki. Someone who would try to make him feel better even after Yomotsu left him out alone in the cold all night. Who may as well have left him for dead, all things considered...
Still...he knows how important that thing is to Taiki. So...]
W-we're............we're soulmates, right? ...Of course I'll hug you more...
[ It's true, the whole soulmates thing is incredibly important to Taiki. If not just because finding out what the string meant had him excited enough, and back then he had been much younger... he's already been waiting so long to be able to find his soulmate that his excitement only grew and grew over time, so how excited he is about it by now is just an accumulation of all the excitement he's bottled up over the years.
Finally he's together with Yomotsu... and finally Yomotsu is saying the exact things Taiki imagined his soulmate would tell him once they met. Not that any of the other's earlier behaviour bothered him at all. Even when Yomotsu was clearly - to any normal person, anyway - trying to get rid of him, Taiki didn't think he was being mean in the slightest. But even oblivious Taiki who sees the best in absolutely anything can't deny that this is a lot more like what he imagined being with his soulmate would be like. His soulmate carrying him when he's tired, his soulmate promising him he'll hug him as much as Taiki wants... what more could he ever need in his life, honestly?
At least it helps with making him more excited, and being more excited means that his tiredness is being fended off for another moment. Even though his body still feels incredibly heavy, his eyes can't help but shine at the very thought of cuddling with Yomotsu. That's definitely worth trying to stay up for a little bit more.
He nuzzles his head a little against Yomotsu's shoulder while the other is still carrying him - closing his eyes again, but at least seeming very much awake for now. ]
That's the first time you said that...
[ It doesn't sound accusatory though, no matter how much that might be expected in a situation like this. Yomotsu did abandon him, but.. Taiki doesn't mind. He doesn't blame the other.. he's too innocent to even realise the other's intentions. He just genuinely thinks Yomotsu told him to wait for him and then came back for him, the long wait between isn't even that strange in his mind. Especially not if his spirit soulmate came back more affectionate than before, then that could only be a good thing to him. ]
[It's obvious enough that Taiki's not being accusatory...anyone could see that. He's actually a little surprised that it doesn't make him feel quite as guilty as he'd been expecting. Not that it doesn't feel any at all, but...there's a little glimmer of something like relief too. Just seeing Taiki be as happy to hear that as he'd expect him to be...and not diminished at all, even after a night as long as that one...
It seems simultaneously impossible and easy to be able to live up to Taiki's expectations. Easy because Taiki really is happy even when Yomotsu doesn't try...but impossible because he does want to try now, and even then...it feels like he could never give Taiki as much as he actually deserves.]
Y-yeah...well...I'll start saying it more often, then.
[Anytime before now, and he never would've believed he could've said that at all- at least, not in any serious manner. Calling them soulmates still feels weird...and not in a way that he can place, either. It seems like it'd be impossible for him to be that mushy on a regular basis, but...if he's already done it once, he can do it again. Besides, it feels like he could agree to literally anything Taiki asked him to do in a moment like this. He doesn't think he'd have it in him to say no.
With another shaky breath, Yomotsu starts walking again- picking up the pace a little bit more. He's wasted enough time feeling sorry for himself...right now it's more important to just deal with his own shitty feelings and get Taiki somewhere that's not outdoors.]
Do you live nearby?
[He murmurs the question softly against the other's head...but that'd probably be the best place to take him, right? It's not like Yomotsu's an expert on booking hotel rooms for the human world, or anything...If push comes to shove, he'll figure something else out, but...getting Taiki back to his home and his own bed should be better than him picking some random place.]
[ How could he feel anything but incredibly blissful when Yomotsu is telling him stuff like that? Not only is he saying things for the first time that Taiki really likes hearing, but he's even saying he'll say it more often. Which means that the fun times he's had with Yomotsu until now - they were fun times to Taiki, at least, no matter that no outsider would ever agree on that thought - are going to get even better. There's no thought that could fill Taiki with more happiness than that, and that's saying a lot considering a lot of things can make Taiki happy to begin with.
He curls up a little more in Yomotsu's arms, even though he makes sure to keep his eyes open so the other won't worry. He just tries focussing on little things to keep himself awake.. like Yomotsu's face being right there, like how nice Yomotsu's arms feel around him, like tangling his fingers a little more in the red thread that hangs around his pinky as even more of a physical reminder that the most important person is right here with him. The world could be ending around them and all Taiki would have eyes for right now is the fox spirit carrying him. His fond smile seems to indicate as much.
Taiki nods at the question, although it's a little slowly from the sleepiness. ]
The street past these trees... The third house. [ His words are still a little mumbled because of it too, but with how close Yomotsu's face is right now, they should be plenty audible. ]
There should be a key under the flower pot.. [ As oblivious as Taiki is about a lot of things, at least he doesn't forget some important things like these - otherwise they would be stuck outside. ] I left it in case no one was home.
[ Since being locked out is a problem that Taiki frequently experiences, although it's rare for him to actually think ahead and make sure it won't happen - at least Yomotsu is lucky in that regard when it comes to quickly finding a safe place for the human boy to sleep. ]
[It's extra salt in the wound to realize Taiki's house really isn't that far away at all, and that he could've gone home...basically whenever he wanted. And yet...he'd still stayed right here. It's obvious enough by how cold his body is against Yomotsu's- this guy didn't even just...get up and walk himself home to warm up overnight. He stayed the whole time. And all Yomotsu can really do for right now is just will his own body heat to warm the other up.
Maybe the Taiki'd even told him where the house was before, but seeing that he already had to ask...he definitely doesn't remember it. He's sure that he wouldn't have paid attention anyway, even if it got brought up... At least his house being close is also a very good thing, because it means they don't have long before Taiki's inside and warm and safe. Better than hearing it's across town and he'd have a bit of a hike before he could get that.
Yomotsu closes his eyes and nods against Taiki a little. They're simple enough instructions, and it's honestly a huge relief that it's another thing he doesn't have to worry about.]
Ok...
[His voice still sounds soft, and he gives Taiki another little squeeze when he says it.]
I won't let you fall, but...hold on anyway, ok?
[He waits for a moment to make sure his arms are securely around the other before breaking out into a run. It's a little harder like this- in this form, and carrying a human no less...But it's really not that far away. Besides...this is the least he can do. Taiki's spent way too long outside because of him, and he shouldn't have to spend even an extra second out here.
It still doesn't take him long at all to reach the house and follow what Taiki'd said- fumbling with the flower pot, and then the key underneath...Then before you know it, they've got their way in. At least it must be the right house, since he'd found the key...Yomotsu doesn't even take a second to look around, he just shoves the door right open, elbows it closed again, and then storms inside in hopes of getting Taiki into the nearest bed.]
[ The upside of Taiki basically doing anything Yomotsu asks him to without questioning it whatsoever means that it also works this time, when he's actually asking for something reasonable. No matter how sleepy he feels right now, he'd never want to let the other down, so Taiki is already moving to cling as well as he can to the other in this state. The fact that Yomotsu is running barely registers with him though... it almost feels like he's in a daze like this, like Yomotsu's face above him is all he can see and the surroundings don't matter a bit. They don't feel as important, anyway. Not as important as the fact that he feels like he was waiting for Yomotsu for so long, but he really came back like he promised. Could anything be better or warmer than that?
Getting home does at least vaguely register with Taiki, even though he doesn't consciously realise how lucky they are that no one is home right now. No matter how little they care about Taiki, surely his relatives would at least ask why there's a stranger in their house - and even if Yomotsu turned himself invisible to normal humans, it'd still be impossible to carry Taiki in without making him look like he's just.. well, floating in the air.
But this definitely is the best case scenario, being able to go into the house without anyone asking questions, while Taiki can just give Yomotsu instructions about where his room is with a soft and sleepy voice.
(Not that the room isn't very obviously Taiki's anyway when you see it. It's definitely a small room, like giving it to him was some kind of afterthought, but there's a bed with a mountain of soft blankets and a collection of ordinary stuff no one would otherwise think to bring inside, like rocks and leaves and the like.
When Yomotsu does manage to get him into the bed, Taiki slowly pulls up at least one of the blankets over him - lacking the strength to really do more than that right now. But it feels warm and comfortable, and when he looks up to see the fox spirit standing there, he reaches his arms up to Yomotsu - almost like a baby would - to try and get the other to come closer. The only thing he can think of right now that would make this situation more comfortable would be to have Yomotsu right there with him to use as a teddy bear of sorts. ]
[It really is lucky that there's no one home...because Yomotsu isn't really even thinking about other people right now- so naturally, he didn't even think about how that could've been a problem if someone else had been there. Luckily, things worked out in his favor though...and he doesn't even have to get turned around in the house with Taiki here to guide him.
Yomotsu lets out a short, soft breath of relief once Taiki's finally in his bed with a blanket over him. His mind is still racing with things he needs to do- warm him up more, get him some water, and food...there're so many thoughts racing around in his head that, for a moment, he's not even sure what to do first. Blankets...that should be easy enough, right? He's right here anyway, and that'll make Taiki warmer too. But before he even gets that thought together enough to start moving, Taiki's already reaching up to him like that...like he wants him to come closer, right...?
This still isn't something Yomotsu's used to, by any means. Acting softer towards Taiki, but also just...acting like this in general. Any time before now and he still would've recoiled from a gesture like that...But not now. As much as Taiki's doing anything he asks, Yomotsu feels like he's in the same bind now...he can't imagine turning down anything he asks for. Even though he can't shake the worry of being able to address Taiki's needs, he can't just...tell him to wait, and leave either. Not after he already made him wait for so long...
A little while...that should be ok, right? He'll lay down with Taiki first and pull some blankets over him to get him nice and warm...And then he can go grab anything else he needs. And when he does, he'll come back this time...right away.
There's still a little bit of hesitation as the fox spirit moves a hand- flinching very slightly as he reaches out towards the boy's outstretched ones. But he still does take one of those hands- moving down closer towards him slowly...until he's right up against Taiki. Right now this is still Yomotsu bending over the bed- not fulling getting onto it just yet...but he still slowly wraps his arms around Taiki again, and nestles his face down into his neck.
He still feels cold...of course he wouldn't warm up that quickly, huh? Yomotsu reaches one hand back- just so he can start dragging more of those blankets on top of the other boy first...making sure it's enough to make him extra comfortable. But once there're enough piled up, Yomotsu carefully slides himself in besides the other boy- shoving part of the blankets aside just so he can make room for himself in there too.
As soon as he's up against Taiki, he curls around him again too...hoping that he can share as much of his body heat as possible.]
[ Yomotsu isn't thinking of anything else. Despite being thirsty and hungry, he's not thinking about trying to go eat or drink anymore. He doesn't even really think about sleeping despite how tired he feels. How could he think about anything else when Yomotsu is right there next to him, this close? And it's not even that Taiki is latching onto him as he's tried in the past - no, he asked for the fox spirit to come lie down with him here, and Yomotsu just did it right away.
It's such a nice thing... It makes Taiki's chest feel so incredibly warm, no matter how cold he was only a little bit before. He can feel so much of Yomotsu against him, almost all around him - like he's completely surrounded by the other, and nothing could feel more nice and warm like that. He doesn't even want to sleep just yet, just so he can enjoy a little bit more of this feeling. Warm blankets over him, Yomotsu's arms around him, the hot breath against his neck...
Even though Taiki's eyes are closed for a moment, he still looks so incredibly content with his wide smile and the way he snuggles up as close as he can do the other, seeming pretty active for how tired he was earlier - it must just be something about Yomotsu's presence - his soulmate's presence - making him feel less tired.
He blindly seeks out the other's face with how his eyes are still closed, his nose gently rubbing against Yomotsu's own for a moment before his face travels further to plant small soft kisses on the spirit's cheek.
It's so warm, and nice, and soft.. This is all he ever wanted. This is all he ever wants, considering he can't think of anything he would want more than just lying here with the other like this.
So he nods, his head practically rubbing along the other as he does with how closely tangled up the two of them are right now. ]
I love you, Yomotsu..
[ It's not really an answer to what the other asked him.
But that doesn't matter to Taiki. It's what's at the forefront of his mind right now, and Taiki has always been simple enough to just say whatever comes to mind - he's too genuine and open. And how could he think about anything other than how much he loves his soulmate when he's just lying there under the blankets with him? It's only further proof of how the thought has never even crossed his mind that Yomotsu wanted to abandon him or that it's the other's fault that he was staying outside in the cold all night. ]
[Maybe he should've expected words like those four...maybe he should've seen them coming- given the stuff this guy's been saying all along. Everything about being soulmates, and wanting to be with him all the time, and actually going far enough to cling onto him. But no matter what, he'd never fully prepared himself for it...never really believed it would happen...There was always something holding him back- from when he first met Taiki, to even a few moments ago. Almost like he was holding his breath.
Hearing that someone loves you...it's supposed to be a good thing, isn't it? It's supposed to make you feel happy...No, even more than that. It's beyond just regular happiness...Is that what he should be feeling now...?
But instead, Yomotsu just...just feels like tears might start spilling down his cheeks any second now. It feels like all the guilt and resentment towards his actions start rising up inside of him again- at dangerously high levels that make him feel like he could lose it at any moment. It's just that...no matter how he looks at it, he can't ever believe that he would deserve hearing something like that. Why should he deserve something like that...? Why should Yomotsu...why, after he'd told Taiki to get lost so many times...after he tried to ditch him. After he'd actually almost abandoned him completely...He just...doesn't. There wouldn't be anything that could convince him otherwise.
And yet...Taiki's still decided to say that to him anyway. And Yomotsu knows he'd never be able to tell Taiki he shouldn't love him...not with the way the human is. Even that wouldn't be his right to do, would it...? And even if he'd try...it seems like there's nothing on the earth or otherwise that could dissuade Taiki from this. How did someone like him get a love that strong...that withstanding. All that Yomotsu can really do is...just do his best to try to earn that love. That's his only real hope right now...and it's the best thing that he can do for Taiki too. To be better for him...to work on feeling like he really is someone that's worthy of being loved by Taiki. No matter how hard it'll be.
Before the boy can see tears forming in his eyes again, Yomotsu moves his head- burying his face into the top of his hair, and squeezing his eyes shut. He nuzzles his face against the other- hoping that it'll make it harder for Taiki to notice anything...he just doesn't want him to worry again. He does move his face back a little though after a second...just enough to be able to talk again.
Even starting to talk makes his heart start to beat faster in his chest...and faster again by the second. No matter how he feels right now...he just...he can't not say anything to Taiki in return. He has to answer...he owes him absolutely anything he wants, including his own heart.]
I...ah...
[He sniffs a little, and squeezes his eyes shut tighter- trying to force the tears back...and trying to keep the shakiness out of his own voice.]
[ The one good thing here - for Yomotsu, anyway - is that Taiki doesn't notice that the other is about to cry. Maybe it's because he was sleepy to begin with and is just half-dazed with the way he's lying here with Yomotsu while in that state, all warm and bundled up.. or maybe it's just since he's oblivious. But no matter what the cause is, he doesn't notice Yomotsu's sadness over any of this. Taiki couldn't imagine Yomotsu feeling guilty or sad at hearing any of this, anyway, not when negative emotions are something so far out of Taiki's own field of experiences.
Instead, dazed or not, this feels more like the happiest he's ever felt. It's not like he usually isn't happy, but despite his sleepy state, this time it feels like the happiness is so strong that it'll burst straight out of him. None of Yomotsu's rejection ever really got through to Taiki before, so he was never sad about any of it, but this still feels special anyway. He's never been lying together in one bed with Yomotsu like this, all curled up, with the other telling him he loves him... What could be better than that for someone who's as clingy to his destined soulmate as Taiki is?
So he just giggles lightly, pressing himself as close to the other as possible. ]
You said it..
[ It's not as if Yomotsu not saying it before bothered him - Taiki never seemed sad because he just plainly wasn't sad - but it at least did register somewhere in his oblivious mind that Yomotsu never actually said it, even though Taiki all this time assumed the fox spirit felt it anyway. But now he is saying it, which only makes this whole situation feel even warmer.
And it makes him seem so incredibly content, lazily (due to his sleepiness) smiling against the other. ]
You're the best.
[ And that's just the truth to Taiki. No matter how much Yomotsu might guilt or blame himself for everything that happened up until this point, Taiki doesn't know any of it. Because he genuinely believes this - that Yomotsu is amazing, perfect for him. Only Yomotsu gives him this extra warm feeling in his chest, after all. Only Yomotsu has ever come to curl around him in bed like this, making Taiki feel like he belongs. This is what he expected out of having a soulmate all along. ]
[It almost...doesn't seem fair, in a way. Not in the sense that Yomotsu thinks he's being treated unfairly, but...how is it that he can make Taiki this happy so easily...? He can't help but think that- the thought keeps coming back...just because of the way he'd been acting, but...That really is just what makes Taiki...Taiki, isn't it? Being able to smile and stay happy no matter what's going on around him...and then brighten up even more when it's something he really, really likes.
But that just reinforces the idea that...if even the smallest effort from him will make Taiki happier...he owes it to the other boy to try to give at least that. More than that. Especially now that he's seeing Taiki in such a happy daze...all because of something he said. If he has the power to do that...to make Taiki feel like that...then he can't hold back anymore. No matter how hard it is for him to do and say things like this, he'll just have to suck it up and try. If he said those words once...he can absolutely do it again. Maybe it'll even get easier...a little less nerve wracking. Who knows...
He closes his eyes- his face burying back into Taiki's hair again as he shakes his head against him. When he talks, his words are a little muffled too.]
No...you are.
[That much should be clear...there's no way he could measure up to Taiki.
Even though all the times he'd rejected the other...that's a thing of the past. He squeezes his eyes shut even harder- trying to block out all of the memories of...virtually all their past encounters. But he knows he can't get rid of them completely...not if he wants to make sure he never makes that same mistake again. He can't...he just can't. Especially not when Taiki's sitting there...saying he's the best. There's not a chance he could believe that now....but he can still try to work his way into being better.
He tilts his head to press his cheek against the top of the other's head- moving a hand up to move it through some of his hair. Taiki will be safe now...safe and warm. He'll get better...]
[ The response draws a small giggle out of Taiki, completely oblivious to everything that's going through the other's mind. Instead he just leans a little into the hand he feels brushing through his hair suddenly, like he's silently asking for more of it - or just trying to soak up every moment of this.
You wouldn't tell judging by Taiki's personality, but it's not like he's ever done this before with anyone, after all. No matter how bright and physically affectionate Taiki is as a person, most people he's encountered in his life have pushed him away the way Yomotsu did just before. It's how he ended up being bounced from distant relative to distant relative after his parents died, no one truly wanting to take care of the boy. Maybe it's why Yomotsu's rejections never really seemed to get through to him.. He was already used to blocking all of it out by then, ending up completely oblivious to people's less than stellar intentions.
But it makes everything about this moment feel even more special. No matter how happy he is by default, this still makes him feel a little extra warm, a little extra loved.. It's a new experience for Taiki, and it makes him wish for this moment where the two of them are cuddled up so close together to never stop. ]
I feel a lot warmer now..
[ It's definitely muffled again, but he's still trying to make sure the other can hear it. Even though Taiki doesn't fully know about all of the negative thoughts going through the other's head, or just the full extent of how much Yomotsu is worrying about him after him having stayed out there all day and night.. he still figured from what the other said earlier that Yomotsu wanted him to be warm, right? So Taiki knows he at least has to let the other know as much now, that his limbs don't feel as stiff anymore now he's under his usual blanket pile, with Yomotsu in there with him like his own personal cuddle heater. ]
That's good, right?
[ It's not as much Taiki asking it objectively - as oblivious as he can be, he knows it's better to be this warm than being too cold - but it's more just about the implication in it. It's good, so it should make Yomotsu happy.. that's what he wants, anyway. Just seeing Yomotsu, let alone being this close to him, fills him with so much happiness.. So all he wants to do is make sure the other is happy too.
[Yomotsu's got no idea how much Taiki's used to people trying to get rid of him like that. He never would've guessed that even happens- not in a million years. No sooner than he'd guess Taiki's not used to being affectionate and cuddly like this together with someone. It's not like Yomotsu's got a very stellar opinion of humans overall, and he sure knows they can be shitty to each other just like they can be shitty to...basically anything...but still. Maybe he's not the type to get along with someone happy and bubbly right off the bat, but why wouldn't other humans? The thought of other people acting like he'd been doing...it hadn't even crossed his mind. But then again, even if he knew about all that past stuff, it wouldn't make the fact that he did it any better or worse...and it wouldn't make him any easier on himself.
And really, he'd never guess that about Taiki not cuddling before either. It seems even more unlikely in his mind...especially with the way the other seems to nestle right up against him- like it's the most natural thing in the world. And then Yomotsu being the first to do this with him just...seems so unreal.
He's still treating this like it's important anyway, and he feels a rush of relief wash over him from Taiki's words too. So he's getting warmer...that is good. Definitely good. Yomotsu hadn't even noticed the human getting less and less cold in his arms, since his mind had been so focused on actually trying to warm him up. There's a slight pause as he runs the thoughts through his head, but he nods after a moment- realizing he still has to answer Taiki outloud too.]
Yeah...yeah, definitely. Just stay up a while longer...just...just to be sure.
[Even if things are looking good, Yomotsu's still so panic-stricken at the idea of fucking up and letting Taiki drift off too soon. It's not like he's a doctor, and he sure as hell doesn't know a lot about human health...but he can still guess at the general idea of things.
Yomotsu nuzzles against him again- like he's redoubling his efforts to keep on making the other feel better, bit by bit.]
We'll...we'll eat something together later. When you're feeling a bit better.
[ Probably more than just a little bit, considering Taiki didn't exactly move from the spot Yomotsu told him to wait at to grab something to eat or anything. He didn't even try to go to some convenience store nearby to buy something just to make sure he would still be there if Yomotsu came back, no matter when it was. And it's not exactly like anyone here at home missed him when he skipped dinner, so the consequence is that the boy's stomach is practically empty by now. It doesn't bother him though - what bothers someone as bubbly as Taiki? - and he probably doesn't even feel the full extent of it while he's cuddling with the other like this. That's much more at the forefront of his mind than anything else.
At least he is being good and not falling asleep, so he's not making it harder for the other. Taiki still seems a bit sleepy or dazed, yes, but the way he's actively leaning into the other's nuzzling and moving slightly against him is enough to indicate Taiki is still very much awake.
Besides.. ]
I don't want to sleep anymore right now though.. [ Not because he isn't tired, mind you. No matter how Taiki's personality is, it's not like his body can exactly keep up with suddenly staying up the whole night out there in the cold. ] Not while you're here.
[ That's more the reason. Even though Taiki is sure he'll be able to get lots more of this from Yomotsu in the future since the two of them are soulmates, he still doesn't want to waste this moment anyway. Being like this with Yomotsu makes him feel so warm and happy, it'll pass way too soon if he goes to sleep now.
He smiles a little against the other though, seemingly nowhere near as worried as Yomotsu himself is. ]
But even if I'd sleep.. you'd be there when I wake up, right?
[ Yomotsu wouldn't leave him.. that's something he still believes, even now Yomotsu almost did leave him. And under the worst circumstances possible, on top of it. ]
[Maybe he's over thinking all of this, but it still feels like he needs to be extra cautious- no matter what he decides to do. Stay with Taiki and keep him warm before he does anything else? Go get him food now? There aren't too many different options, but his mind still keeps going back and forth with what'd be the best course of action.
Then again, maybe the best thing he could do is just ask Taiki what he wants himself.]
Do you want me to go get you something now...? I'll have to get up again for a second, but I'll come right back...
[In a somewhat tentative motion, he moves his hand up and down against the back of Taiki's head- trying to be more reassuring. It still feels like his motions are a bit awkward...these're things he's not used to doing at all normally.
But he really needs Taiki to know that he won't leave for good- not again, and not for long. Even though he's sure by now that the boy would believe him, it's not good enough just to know that he will come back...Yomotsu needs to make sure Taiki knows he'll come back fast too. That he won't leave him like he did before...not again. That's something he could never bring himself to do again.
And so...]
I'll be here...even if I'm gone for a second, it's just to get you something. And then I'll be here again.
[He doesn't want to leave Taiki without telling him...but this is just in case- just in case Taiki needs something that Yomotsu has to go get for him, maybe after he's fallen asleep too.]
[ It's true, not even a part of Taiki thinks that Yomotsu would abandon him now. If he didn't even think so back when the other was acting a lot more prickly towards him, then why would he ever start to think it now the other is holding him and curled up so close to him in bed? Taiki really believes the fact that Yomotsu will come back no matter what without a doubt, and his body language seems pretty relaxed because of it too, like he has absolutely nothing to worry about right now.
So all the reassuring from Yomotsu isn't exactly needed, but the human smiles anyway when he hears all of it. It's just nice to hear it too, Yomotsu promising so much that he'll come back, that he'll be by his side right away again. That means Yomotsu must like being around him just as much as Taiki likes being around Yomotsu, right?
He laughs weakly - the weak part more due to his body's current condition than anything else, since he really is happy - and wiggles slightly against the other. ]
Can't you take me with you..?
[ Yes, it's not like he doesn't trust Yomotsu, he knows the other will come back.. but now the fox spirit is giving him more affection than usually, Taiki doesn't want to miss out on a moment of it. He just doesn't want to stop cuddling with Yomotsu.
Then again, it's not exactly a good idea for him to leave the bed right now. He's so tired from sitting out there all night, not to mention he caught a cold, so Taiki's body probably isn't energetic and strong enough to support him right now. But Taiki isn't the type to consider that at all - he's just thinking about how he doesn't want to leave Yomotsu's side at all right now, and so he naively speaks up. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
In fact, as soon as Taiki's eyes open wide and he makes that promise, Yomotsu lets out a breath he'd been holding. Maybe it's no guarantee that the guy won't start getting sleepy again, but...well, Yomotsu's pretty damn sure that if he makes a promise, he'll try to keep it. Especially after everything that's happened...so it's a little reassuring at least.
He slows to a stop for a moment...pulling the other closer to himself and squeezing him a tiny bit- doing the best he can to hug him while he's already holding him like this. As if it's a promise of more to come.]
Yeah...as much as you want.
[His eyes squeeze shut again- feeling like the tears are starting to well up again from hearing that chipperness in the other's voice...This guy really is trying to make him feel better, isn't he?
This goddamned red string of fate bullshit...Yomotsu feels like it must be wrong more than ever before. But only because there's no way some scum of the earth like him could deserve someone like Taiki. Someone who would try to make him feel better even after Yomotsu left him out alone in the cold all night. Who may as well have left him for dead, all things considered...
Still...he knows how important that thing is to Taiki. So...]
W-we're............we're soulmates, right? ...Of course I'll hug you more...
no subject
Finally he's together with Yomotsu... and finally Yomotsu is saying the exact things Taiki imagined his soulmate would tell him once they met. Not that any of the other's earlier behaviour bothered him at all. Even when Yomotsu was clearly - to any normal person, anyway - trying to get rid of him, Taiki didn't think he was being mean in the slightest. But even oblivious Taiki who sees the best in absolutely anything can't deny that this is a lot more like what he imagined being with his soulmate would be like. His soulmate carrying him when he's tired, his soulmate promising him he'll hug him as much as Taiki wants... what more could he ever need in his life, honestly?
At least it helps with making him more excited, and being more excited means that his tiredness is being fended off for another moment. Even though his body still feels incredibly heavy, his eyes can't help but shine at the very thought of cuddling with Yomotsu. That's definitely worth trying to stay up for a little bit more.
He nuzzles his head a little against Yomotsu's shoulder while the other is still carrying him - closing his eyes again, but at least seeming very much awake for now. ]
That's the first time you said that...
[ It doesn't sound accusatory though, no matter how much that might be expected in a situation like this. Yomotsu did abandon him, but.. Taiki doesn't mind. He doesn't blame the other.. he's too innocent to even realise the other's intentions. He just genuinely thinks Yomotsu told him to wait for him and then came back for him, the long wait between isn't even that strange in his mind. Especially not if his spirit soulmate came back more affectionate than before, then that could only be a good thing to him. ]
no subject
It seems simultaneously impossible and easy to be able to live up to Taiki's expectations. Easy because Taiki really is happy even when Yomotsu doesn't try...but impossible because he does want to try now, and even then...it feels like he could never give Taiki as much as he actually deserves.]
Y-yeah...well...I'll start saying it more often, then.
[Anytime before now, and he never would've believed he could've said that at all- at least, not in any serious manner. Calling them soulmates still feels weird...and not in a way that he can place, either. It seems like it'd be impossible for him to be that mushy on a regular basis, but...if he's already done it once, he can do it again. Besides, it feels like he could agree to literally anything Taiki asked him to do in a moment like this. He doesn't think he'd have it in him to say no.
With another shaky breath, Yomotsu starts walking again- picking up the pace a little bit more. He's wasted enough time feeling sorry for himself...right now it's more important to just deal with his own shitty feelings and get Taiki somewhere that's not outdoors.]
Do you live nearby?
[He murmurs the question softly against the other's head...but that'd probably be the best place to take him, right? It's not like Yomotsu's an expert on booking hotel rooms for the human world, or anything...If push comes to shove, he'll figure something else out, but...getting Taiki back to his home and his own bed should be better than him picking some random place.]
no subject
He curls up a little more in Yomotsu's arms, even though he makes sure to keep his eyes open so the other won't worry. He just tries focussing on little things to keep himself awake.. like Yomotsu's face being right there, like how nice Yomotsu's arms feel around him, like tangling his fingers a little more in the red thread that hangs around his pinky as even more of a physical reminder that the most important person is right here with him. The world could be ending around them and all Taiki would have eyes for right now is the fox spirit carrying him. His fond smile seems to indicate as much.
Taiki nods at the question, although it's a little slowly from the sleepiness. ]
The street past these trees... The third house. [ His words are still a little mumbled because of it too, but with how close Yomotsu's face is right now, they should be plenty audible. ]
There should be a key under the flower pot.. [ As oblivious as Taiki is about a lot of things, at least he doesn't forget some important things like these - otherwise they would be stuck outside. ] I left it in case no one was home.
[ Since being locked out is a problem that Taiki frequently experiences, although it's rare for him to actually think ahead and make sure it won't happen - at least Yomotsu is lucky in that regard when it comes to quickly finding a safe place for the human boy to sleep. ]
no subject
Maybe the Taiki'd even told him where the house was before, but seeing that he already had to ask...he definitely doesn't remember it. He's sure that he wouldn't have paid attention anyway, even if it got brought up... At least his house being close is also a very good thing, because it means they don't have long before Taiki's inside and warm and safe. Better than hearing it's across town and he'd have a bit of a hike before he could get that.
Yomotsu closes his eyes and nods against Taiki a little. They're simple enough instructions, and it's honestly a huge relief that it's another thing he doesn't have to worry about.]
Ok...
[His voice still sounds soft, and he gives Taiki another little squeeze when he says it.]
I won't let you fall, but...hold on anyway, ok?
[He waits for a moment to make sure his arms are securely around the other before breaking out into a run. It's a little harder like this- in this form, and carrying a human no less...But it's really not that far away. Besides...this is the least he can do. Taiki's spent way too long outside because of him, and he shouldn't have to spend even an extra second out here.
It still doesn't take him long at all to reach the house and follow what Taiki'd said- fumbling with the flower pot, and then the key underneath...Then before you know it, they've got their way in. At least it must be the right house, since he'd found the key...Yomotsu doesn't even take a second to look around, he just shoves the door right open, elbows it closed again, and then storms inside in hopes of getting Taiki into the nearest bed.]
no subject
Getting home does at least vaguely register with Taiki, even though he doesn't consciously realise how lucky they are that no one is home right now. No matter how little they care about Taiki, surely his relatives would at least ask why there's a stranger in their house - and even if Yomotsu turned himself invisible to normal humans, it'd still be impossible to carry Taiki in without making him look like he's just.. well, floating in the air.
But this definitely is the best case scenario, being able to go into the house without anyone asking questions, while Taiki can just give Yomotsu instructions about where his room is with a soft and sleepy voice.
(Not that the room isn't very obviously Taiki's anyway when you see it. It's definitely a small room, like giving it to him was some kind of afterthought, but there's a bed with a mountain of soft blankets and a collection of ordinary stuff no one would otherwise think to bring inside, like rocks and leaves and the like.
When Yomotsu does manage to get him into the bed, Taiki slowly pulls up at least one of the blankets over him - lacking the strength to really do more than that right now. But it feels warm and comfortable, and when he looks up to see the fox spirit standing there, he reaches his arms up to Yomotsu - almost like a baby would - to try and get the other to come closer. The only thing he can think of right now that would make this situation more comfortable would be to have Yomotsu right there with him to use as a teddy bear of sorts. ]
no subject
Yomotsu lets out a short, soft breath of relief once Taiki's finally in his bed with a blanket over him. His mind is still racing with things he needs to do- warm him up more, get him some water, and food...there're so many thoughts racing around in his head that, for a moment, he's not even sure what to do first. Blankets...that should be easy enough, right? He's right here anyway, and that'll make Taiki warmer too. But before he even gets that thought together enough to start moving, Taiki's already reaching up to him like that...like he wants him to come closer, right...?
This still isn't something Yomotsu's used to, by any means. Acting softer towards Taiki, but also just...acting like this in general. Any time before now and he still would've recoiled from a gesture like that...But not now. As much as Taiki's doing anything he asks, Yomotsu feels like he's in the same bind now...he can't imagine turning down anything he asks for. Even though he can't shake the worry of being able to address Taiki's needs, he can't just...tell him to wait, and leave either. Not after he already made him wait for so long...
A little while...that should be ok, right? He'll lay down with Taiki first and pull some blankets over him to get him nice and warm...And then he can go grab anything else he needs. And when he does, he'll come back this time...right away.
There's still a little bit of hesitation as the fox spirit moves a hand- flinching very slightly as he reaches out towards the boy's outstretched ones. But he still does take one of those hands- moving down closer towards him slowly...until he's right up against Taiki. Right now this is still Yomotsu bending over the bed- not fulling getting onto it just yet...but he still slowly wraps his arms around Taiki again, and nestles his face down into his neck.
He still feels cold...of course he wouldn't warm up that quickly, huh? Yomotsu reaches one hand back- just so he can start dragging more of those blankets on top of the other boy first...making sure it's enough to make him extra comfortable. But once there're enough piled up, Yomotsu carefully slides himself in besides the other boy- shoving part of the blankets aside just so he can make room for himself in there too.
As soon as he's up against Taiki, he curls around him again too...hoping that he can share as much of his body heat as possible.]
Is this good...?
no subject
It's such a nice thing... It makes Taiki's chest feel so incredibly warm, no matter how cold he was only a little bit before. He can feel so much of Yomotsu against him, almost all around him - like he's completely surrounded by the other, and nothing could feel more nice and warm like that. He doesn't even want to sleep just yet, just so he can enjoy a little bit more of this feeling. Warm blankets over him, Yomotsu's arms around him, the hot breath against his neck...
Even though Taiki's eyes are closed for a moment, he still looks so incredibly content with his wide smile and the way he snuggles up as close as he can do the other, seeming pretty active for how tired he was earlier - it must just be something about Yomotsu's presence - his soulmate's presence - making him feel less tired.
He blindly seeks out the other's face with how his eyes are still closed, his nose gently rubbing against Yomotsu's own for a moment before his face travels further to plant small soft kisses on the spirit's cheek.
It's so warm, and nice, and soft.. This is all he ever wanted. This is all he ever wants, considering he can't think of anything he would want more than just lying here with the other like this.
So he nods, his head practically rubbing along the other as he does with how closely tangled up the two of them are right now. ]
I love you, Yomotsu..
[ It's not really an answer to what the other asked him.
But that doesn't matter to Taiki. It's what's at the forefront of his mind right now, and Taiki has always been simple enough to just say whatever comes to mind - he's too genuine and open. And how could he think about anything other than how much he loves his soulmate when he's just lying there under the blankets with him? It's only further proof of how the thought has never even crossed his mind that Yomotsu wanted to abandon him or that it's the other's fault that he was staying outside in the cold all night. ]
no subject
Hearing that someone loves you...it's supposed to be a good thing, isn't it? It's supposed to make you feel happy...No, even more than that. It's beyond just regular happiness...Is that what he should be feeling now...?
But instead, Yomotsu just...just feels like tears might start spilling down his cheeks any second now. It feels like all the guilt and resentment towards his actions start rising up inside of him again- at dangerously high levels that make him feel like he could lose it at any moment. It's just that...no matter how he looks at it, he can't ever believe that he would deserve hearing something like that. Why should he deserve something like that...? Why should Yomotsu...why, after he'd told Taiki to get lost so many times...after he tried to ditch him. After he'd actually almost abandoned him completely...He just...doesn't. There wouldn't be anything that could convince him otherwise.
And yet...Taiki's still decided to say that to him anyway. And Yomotsu knows he'd never be able to tell Taiki he shouldn't love him...not with the way the human is. Even that wouldn't be his right to do, would it...? And even if he'd try...it seems like there's nothing on the earth or otherwise that could dissuade Taiki from this. How did someone like him get a love that strong...that withstanding. All that Yomotsu can really do is...just do his best to try to earn that love. That's his only real hope right now...and it's the best thing that he can do for Taiki too. To be better for him...to work on feeling like he really is someone that's worthy of being loved by Taiki. No matter how hard it'll be.
Before the boy can see tears forming in his eyes again, Yomotsu moves his head- burying his face into the top of his hair, and squeezing his eyes shut. He nuzzles his face against the other- hoping that it'll make it harder for Taiki to notice anything...he just doesn't want him to worry again. He does move his face back a little though after a second...just enough to be able to talk again.
Even starting to talk makes his heart start to beat faster in his chest...and faster again by the second. No matter how he feels right now...he just...he can't not say anything to Taiki in return. He has to answer...he owes him absolutely anything he wants, including his own heart.]
I...ah...
[He sniffs a little, and squeezes his eyes shut tighter- trying to force the tears back...and trying to keep the shakiness out of his own voice.]
I...I l-love you too...
no subject
Instead, dazed or not, this feels more like the happiest he's ever felt. It's not like he usually isn't happy, but despite his sleepy state, this time it feels like the happiness is so strong that it'll burst straight out of him. None of Yomotsu's rejection ever really got through to Taiki before, so he was never sad about any of it, but this still feels special anyway. He's never been lying together in one bed with Yomotsu like this, all curled up, with the other telling him he loves him... What could be better than that for someone who's as clingy to his destined soulmate as Taiki is?
So he just giggles lightly, pressing himself as close to the other as possible. ]
You said it..
[ It's not as if Yomotsu not saying it before bothered him - Taiki never seemed sad because he just plainly wasn't sad - but it at least did register somewhere in his oblivious mind that Yomotsu never actually said it, even though Taiki all this time assumed the fox spirit felt it anyway. But now he is saying it, which only makes this whole situation feel even warmer.
And it makes him seem so incredibly content, lazily (due to his sleepiness) smiling against the other. ]
You're the best.
[ And that's just the truth to Taiki. No matter how much Yomotsu might guilt or blame himself for everything that happened up until this point, Taiki doesn't know any of it. Because he genuinely believes this - that Yomotsu is amazing, perfect for him. Only Yomotsu gives him this extra warm feeling in his chest, after all. Only Yomotsu has ever come to curl around him in bed like this, making Taiki feel like he belongs. This is what he expected out of having a soulmate all along. ]
no subject
But that just reinforces the idea that...if even the smallest effort from him will make Taiki happier...he owes it to the other boy to try to give at least that. More than that. Especially now that he's seeing Taiki in such a happy daze...all because of something he said. If he has the power to do that...to make Taiki feel like that...then he can't hold back anymore. No matter how hard it is for him to do and say things like this, he'll just have to suck it up and try. If he said those words once...he can absolutely do it again. Maybe it'll even get easier...a little less nerve wracking. Who knows...
He closes his eyes- his face burying back into Taiki's hair again as he shakes his head against him. When he talks, his words are a little muffled too.]
No...you are.
[That much should be clear...there's no way he could measure up to Taiki.
Even though all the times he'd rejected the other...that's a thing of the past. He squeezes his eyes shut even harder- trying to block out all of the memories of...virtually all their past encounters. But he knows he can't get rid of them completely...not if he wants to make sure he never makes that same mistake again. He can't...he just can't. Especially not when Taiki's sitting there...saying he's the best. There's not a chance he could believe that now....but he can still try to work his way into being better.
He tilts his head to press his cheek against the top of the other's head- moving a hand up to move it through some of his hair. Taiki will be safe now...safe and warm. He'll get better...]
no subject
You wouldn't tell judging by Taiki's personality, but it's not like he's ever done this before with anyone, after all. No matter how bright and physically affectionate Taiki is as a person, most people he's encountered in his life have pushed him away the way Yomotsu did just before. It's how he ended up being bounced from distant relative to distant relative after his parents died, no one truly wanting to take care of the boy. Maybe it's why Yomotsu's rejections never really seemed to get through to him.. He was already used to blocking all of it out by then, ending up completely oblivious to people's less than stellar intentions.
But it makes everything about this moment feel even more special. No matter how happy he is by default, this still makes him feel a little extra warm, a little extra loved.. It's a new experience for Taiki, and it makes him wish for this moment where the two of them are cuddled up so close together to never stop. ]
I feel a lot warmer now..
[ It's definitely muffled again, but he's still trying to make sure the other can hear it. Even though Taiki doesn't fully know about all of the negative thoughts going through the other's head, or just the full extent of how much Yomotsu is worrying about him after him having stayed out there all day and night.. he still figured from what the other said earlier that Yomotsu wanted him to be warm, right? So Taiki knows he at least has to let the other know as much now, that his limbs don't feel as stiff anymore now he's under his usual blanket pile, with Yomotsu in there with him like his own personal cuddle heater. ]
That's good, right?
[ It's not as much Taiki asking it objectively - as oblivious as he can be, he knows it's better to be this warm than being too cold - but it's more just about the implication in it. It's good, so it should make Yomotsu happy.. that's what he wants, anyway. Just seeing Yomotsu, let alone being this close to him, fills him with so much happiness.. So all he wants to do is make sure the other is happy too.
That's what soulmates do, right? ]
no subject
And really, he'd never guess that about Taiki not cuddling before either. It seems even more unlikely in his mind...especially with the way the other seems to nestle right up against him- like it's the most natural thing in the world. And then Yomotsu being the first to do this with him just...seems so unreal.
He's still treating this like it's important anyway, and he feels a rush of relief wash over him from Taiki's words too. So he's getting warmer...that is good. Definitely good. Yomotsu hadn't even noticed the human getting less and less cold in his arms, since his mind had been so focused on actually trying to warm him up. There's a slight pause as he runs the thoughts through his head, but he nods after a moment- realizing he still has to answer Taiki outloud too.]
Yeah...yeah, definitely. Just stay up a while longer...just...just to be sure.
[Even if things are looking good, Yomotsu's still so panic-stricken at the idea of fucking up and letting Taiki drift off too soon. It's not like he's a doctor, and he sure as hell doesn't know a lot about human health...but he can still guess at the general idea of things.
Yomotsu nuzzles against him again- like he's redoubling his efforts to keep on making the other feel better, bit by bit.]
We'll...we'll eat something together later. When you're feeling a bit better.
no subject
[ Probably more than just a little bit, considering Taiki didn't exactly move from the spot Yomotsu told him to wait at to grab something to eat or anything. He didn't even try to go to some convenience store nearby to buy something just to make sure he would still be there if Yomotsu came back, no matter when it was. And it's not exactly like anyone here at home missed him when he skipped dinner, so the consequence is that the boy's stomach is practically empty by now. It doesn't bother him though - what bothers someone as bubbly as Taiki? - and he probably doesn't even feel the full extent of it while he's cuddling with the other like this. That's much more at the forefront of his mind than anything else.
At least he is being good and not falling asleep, so he's not making it harder for the other. Taiki still seems a bit sleepy or dazed, yes, but the way he's actively leaning into the other's nuzzling and moving slightly against him is enough to indicate Taiki is still very much awake.
Besides.. ]
I don't want to sleep anymore right now though.. [ Not because he isn't tired, mind you. No matter how Taiki's personality is, it's not like his body can exactly keep up with suddenly staying up the whole night out there in the cold. ] Not while you're here.
[ That's more the reason. Even though Taiki is sure he'll be able to get lots more of this from Yomotsu in the future since the two of them are soulmates, he still doesn't want to waste this moment anyway. Being like this with Yomotsu makes him feel so warm and happy, it'll pass way too soon if he goes to sleep now.
He smiles a little against the other though, seemingly nowhere near as worried as Yomotsu himself is. ]
But even if I'd sleep.. you'd be there when I wake up, right?
[ Yomotsu wouldn't leave him.. that's something he still believes, even now Yomotsu almost did leave him. And under the worst circumstances possible, on top of it. ]
no subject
Then again, maybe the best thing he could do is just ask Taiki what he wants himself.]
Do you want me to go get you something now...? I'll have to get up again for a second, but I'll come right back...
[In a somewhat tentative motion, he moves his hand up and down against the back of Taiki's head- trying to be more reassuring. It still feels like his motions are a bit awkward...these're things he's not used to doing at all normally.
But he really needs Taiki to know that he won't leave for good- not again, and not for long. Even though he's sure by now that the boy would believe him, it's not good enough just to know that he will come back...Yomotsu needs to make sure Taiki knows he'll come back fast too. That he won't leave him like he did before...not again. That's something he could never bring himself to do again.
And so...]
I'll be here...even if I'm gone for a second, it's just to get you something. And then I'll be here again.
[He doesn't want to leave Taiki without telling him...but this is just in case- just in case Taiki needs something that Yomotsu has to go get for him, maybe after he's fallen asleep too.]
no subject
So all the reassuring from Yomotsu isn't exactly needed, but the human smiles anyway when he hears all of it. It's just nice to hear it too, Yomotsu promising so much that he'll come back, that he'll be by his side right away again. That means Yomotsu must like being around him just as much as Taiki likes being around Yomotsu, right?
He laughs weakly - the weak part more due to his body's current condition than anything else, since he really is happy - and wiggles slightly against the other. ]
Can't you take me with you..?
[ Yes, it's not like he doesn't trust Yomotsu, he knows the other will come back.. but now the fox spirit is giving him more affection than usually, Taiki doesn't want to miss out on a moment of it. He just doesn't want to stop cuddling with Yomotsu.
Then again, it's not exactly a good idea for him to leave the bed right now. He's so tired from sitting out there all night, not to mention he caught a cold, so Taiki's body probably isn't energetic and strong enough to support him right now. But Taiki isn't the type to consider that at all - he's just thinking about how he doesn't want to leave Yomotsu's side at all right now, and so he naively speaks up. ]