[It almost...doesn't seem fair, in a way. Not in the sense that Yomotsu thinks he's being treated unfairly, but...how is it that he can make Taiki this happy so easily...? He can't help but think that- the thought keeps coming back...just because of the way he'd been acting, but...That really is just what makes Taiki...Taiki, isn't it? Being able to smile and stay happy no matter what's going on around him...and then brighten up even more when it's something he really, really likes.
But that just reinforces the idea that...if even the smallest effort from him will make Taiki happier...he owes it to the other boy to try to give at least that. More than that. Especially now that he's seeing Taiki in such a happy daze...all because of something he said. If he has the power to do that...to make Taiki feel like that...then he can't hold back anymore. No matter how hard it is for him to do and say things like this, he'll just have to suck it up and try. If he said those words once...he can absolutely do it again. Maybe it'll even get easier...a little less nerve wracking. Who knows...
He closes his eyes- his face burying back into Taiki's hair again as he shakes his head against him. When he talks, his words are a little muffled too.]
No...you are.
[That much should be clear...there's no way he could measure up to Taiki.
Even though all the times he'd rejected the other...that's a thing of the past. He squeezes his eyes shut even harder- trying to block out all of the memories of...virtually all their past encounters. But he knows he can't get rid of them completely...not if he wants to make sure he never makes that same mistake again. He can't...he just can't. Especially not when Taiki's sitting there...saying he's the best. There's not a chance he could believe that now....but he can still try to work his way into being better.
He tilts his head to press his cheek against the top of the other's head- moving a hand up to move it through some of his hair. Taiki will be safe now...safe and warm. He'll get better...]
[ The response draws a small giggle out of Taiki, completely oblivious to everything that's going through the other's mind. Instead he just leans a little into the hand he feels brushing through his hair suddenly, like he's silently asking for more of it - or just trying to soak up every moment of this.
You wouldn't tell judging by Taiki's personality, but it's not like he's ever done this before with anyone, after all. No matter how bright and physically affectionate Taiki is as a person, most people he's encountered in his life have pushed him away the way Yomotsu did just before. It's how he ended up being bounced from distant relative to distant relative after his parents died, no one truly wanting to take care of the boy. Maybe it's why Yomotsu's rejections never really seemed to get through to him.. He was already used to blocking all of it out by then, ending up completely oblivious to people's less than stellar intentions.
But it makes everything about this moment feel even more special. No matter how happy he is by default, this still makes him feel a little extra warm, a little extra loved.. It's a new experience for Taiki, and it makes him wish for this moment where the two of them are cuddled up so close together to never stop. ]
I feel a lot warmer now..
[ It's definitely muffled again, but he's still trying to make sure the other can hear it. Even though Taiki doesn't fully know about all of the negative thoughts going through the other's head, or just the full extent of how much Yomotsu is worrying about him after him having stayed out there all day and night.. he still figured from what the other said earlier that Yomotsu wanted him to be warm, right? So Taiki knows he at least has to let the other know as much now, that his limbs don't feel as stiff anymore now he's under his usual blanket pile, with Yomotsu in there with him like his own personal cuddle heater. ]
That's good, right?
[ It's not as much Taiki asking it objectively - as oblivious as he can be, he knows it's better to be this warm than being too cold - but it's more just about the implication in it. It's good, so it should make Yomotsu happy.. that's what he wants, anyway. Just seeing Yomotsu, let alone being this close to him, fills him with so much happiness.. So all he wants to do is make sure the other is happy too.
[Yomotsu's got no idea how much Taiki's used to people trying to get rid of him like that. He never would've guessed that even happens- not in a million years. No sooner than he'd guess Taiki's not used to being affectionate and cuddly like this together with someone. It's not like Yomotsu's got a very stellar opinion of humans overall, and he sure knows they can be shitty to each other just like they can be shitty to...basically anything...but still. Maybe he's not the type to get along with someone happy and bubbly right off the bat, but why wouldn't other humans? The thought of other people acting like he'd been doing...it hadn't even crossed his mind. But then again, even if he knew about all that past stuff, it wouldn't make the fact that he did it any better or worse...and it wouldn't make him any easier on himself.
And really, he'd never guess that about Taiki not cuddling before either. It seems even more unlikely in his mind...especially with the way the other seems to nestle right up against him- like it's the most natural thing in the world. And then Yomotsu being the first to do this with him just...seems so unreal.
He's still treating this like it's important anyway, and he feels a rush of relief wash over him from Taiki's words too. So he's getting warmer...that is good. Definitely good. Yomotsu hadn't even noticed the human getting less and less cold in his arms, since his mind had been so focused on actually trying to warm him up. There's a slight pause as he runs the thoughts through his head, but he nods after a moment- realizing he still has to answer Taiki outloud too.]
Yeah...yeah, definitely. Just stay up a while longer...just...just to be sure.
[Even if things are looking good, Yomotsu's still so panic-stricken at the idea of fucking up and letting Taiki drift off too soon. It's not like he's a doctor, and he sure as hell doesn't know a lot about human health...but he can still guess at the general idea of things.
Yomotsu nuzzles against him again- like he's redoubling his efforts to keep on making the other feel better, bit by bit.]
We'll...we'll eat something together later. When you're feeling a bit better.
[ Probably more than just a little bit, considering Taiki didn't exactly move from the spot Yomotsu told him to wait at to grab something to eat or anything. He didn't even try to go to some convenience store nearby to buy something just to make sure he would still be there if Yomotsu came back, no matter when it was. And it's not exactly like anyone here at home missed him when he skipped dinner, so the consequence is that the boy's stomach is practically empty by now. It doesn't bother him though - what bothers someone as bubbly as Taiki? - and he probably doesn't even feel the full extent of it while he's cuddling with the other like this. That's much more at the forefront of his mind than anything else.
At least he is being good and not falling asleep, so he's not making it harder for the other. Taiki still seems a bit sleepy or dazed, yes, but the way he's actively leaning into the other's nuzzling and moving slightly against him is enough to indicate Taiki is still very much awake.
Besides.. ]
I don't want to sleep anymore right now though.. [ Not because he isn't tired, mind you. No matter how Taiki's personality is, it's not like his body can exactly keep up with suddenly staying up the whole night out there in the cold. ] Not while you're here.
[ That's more the reason. Even though Taiki is sure he'll be able to get lots more of this from Yomotsu in the future since the two of them are soulmates, he still doesn't want to waste this moment anyway. Being like this with Yomotsu makes him feel so warm and happy, it'll pass way too soon if he goes to sleep now.
He smiles a little against the other though, seemingly nowhere near as worried as Yomotsu himself is. ]
But even if I'd sleep.. you'd be there when I wake up, right?
[ Yomotsu wouldn't leave him.. that's something he still believes, even now Yomotsu almost did leave him. And under the worst circumstances possible, on top of it. ]
[Maybe he's over thinking all of this, but it still feels like he needs to be extra cautious- no matter what he decides to do. Stay with Taiki and keep him warm before he does anything else? Go get him food now? There aren't too many different options, but his mind still keeps going back and forth with what'd be the best course of action.
Then again, maybe the best thing he could do is just ask Taiki what he wants himself.]
Do you want me to go get you something now...? I'll have to get up again for a second, but I'll come right back...
[In a somewhat tentative motion, he moves his hand up and down against the back of Taiki's head- trying to be more reassuring. It still feels like his motions are a bit awkward...these're things he's not used to doing at all normally.
But he really needs Taiki to know that he won't leave for good- not again, and not for long. Even though he's sure by now that the boy would believe him, it's not good enough just to know that he will come back...Yomotsu needs to make sure Taiki knows he'll come back fast too. That he won't leave him like he did before...not again. That's something he could never bring himself to do again.
And so...]
I'll be here...even if I'm gone for a second, it's just to get you something. And then I'll be here again.
[He doesn't want to leave Taiki without telling him...but this is just in case- just in case Taiki needs something that Yomotsu has to go get for him, maybe after he's fallen asleep too.]
[ It's true, not even a part of Taiki thinks that Yomotsu would abandon him now. If he didn't even think so back when the other was acting a lot more prickly towards him, then why would he ever start to think it now the other is holding him and curled up so close to him in bed? Taiki really believes the fact that Yomotsu will come back no matter what without a doubt, and his body language seems pretty relaxed because of it too, like he has absolutely nothing to worry about right now.
So all the reassuring from Yomotsu isn't exactly needed, but the human smiles anyway when he hears all of it. It's just nice to hear it too, Yomotsu promising so much that he'll come back, that he'll be by his side right away again. That means Yomotsu must like being around him just as much as Taiki likes being around Yomotsu, right?
He laughs weakly - the weak part more due to his body's current condition than anything else, since he really is happy - and wiggles slightly against the other. ]
Can't you take me with you..?
[ Yes, it's not like he doesn't trust Yomotsu, he knows the other will come back.. but now the fox spirit is giving him more affection than usually, Taiki doesn't want to miss out on a moment of it. He just doesn't want to stop cuddling with Yomotsu.
Then again, it's not exactly a good idea for him to leave the bed right now. He's so tired from sitting out there all night, not to mention he caught a cold, so Taiki's body probably isn't energetic and strong enough to support him right now. But Taiki isn't the type to consider that at all - he's just thinking about how he doesn't want to leave Yomotsu's side at all right now, and so he naively speaks up. ]
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no subject
But that just reinforces the idea that...if even the smallest effort from him will make Taiki happier...he owes it to the other boy to try to give at least that. More than that. Especially now that he's seeing Taiki in such a happy daze...all because of something he said. If he has the power to do that...to make Taiki feel like that...then he can't hold back anymore. No matter how hard it is for him to do and say things like this, he'll just have to suck it up and try. If he said those words once...he can absolutely do it again. Maybe it'll even get easier...a little less nerve wracking. Who knows...
He closes his eyes- his face burying back into Taiki's hair again as he shakes his head against him. When he talks, his words are a little muffled too.]
No...you are.
[That much should be clear...there's no way he could measure up to Taiki.
Even though all the times he'd rejected the other...that's a thing of the past. He squeezes his eyes shut even harder- trying to block out all of the memories of...virtually all their past encounters. But he knows he can't get rid of them completely...not if he wants to make sure he never makes that same mistake again. He can't...he just can't. Especially not when Taiki's sitting there...saying he's the best. There's not a chance he could believe that now....but he can still try to work his way into being better.
He tilts his head to press his cheek against the top of the other's head- moving a hand up to move it through some of his hair. Taiki will be safe now...safe and warm. He'll get better...]
no subject
You wouldn't tell judging by Taiki's personality, but it's not like he's ever done this before with anyone, after all. No matter how bright and physically affectionate Taiki is as a person, most people he's encountered in his life have pushed him away the way Yomotsu did just before. It's how he ended up being bounced from distant relative to distant relative after his parents died, no one truly wanting to take care of the boy. Maybe it's why Yomotsu's rejections never really seemed to get through to him.. He was already used to blocking all of it out by then, ending up completely oblivious to people's less than stellar intentions.
But it makes everything about this moment feel even more special. No matter how happy he is by default, this still makes him feel a little extra warm, a little extra loved.. It's a new experience for Taiki, and it makes him wish for this moment where the two of them are cuddled up so close together to never stop. ]
I feel a lot warmer now..
[ It's definitely muffled again, but he's still trying to make sure the other can hear it. Even though Taiki doesn't fully know about all of the negative thoughts going through the other's head, or just the full extent of how much Yomotsu is worrying about him after him having stayed out there all day and night.. he still figured from what the other said earlier that Yomotsu wanted him to be warm, right? So Taiki knows he at least has to let the other know as much now, that his limbs don't feel as stiff anymore now he's under his usual blanket pile, with Yomotsu in there with him like his own personal cuddle heater. ]
That's good, right?
[ It's not as much Taiki asking it objectively - as oblivious as he can be, he knows it's better to be this warm than being too cold - but it's more just about the implication in it. It's good, so it should make Yomotsu happy.. that's what he wants, anyway. Just seeing Yomotsu, let alone being this close to him, fills him with so much happiness.. So all he wants to do is make sure the other is happy too.
That's what soulmates do, right? ]
no subject
And really, he'd never guess that about Taiki not cuddling before either. It seems even more unlikely in his mind...especially with the way the other seems to nestle right up against him- like it's the most natural thing in the world. And then Yomotsu being the first to do this with him just...seems so unreal.
He's still treating this like it's important anyway, and he feels a rush of relief wash over him from Taiki's words too. So he's getting warmer...that is good. Definitely good. Yomotsu hadn't even noticed the human getting less and less cold in his arms, since his mind had been so focused on actually trying to warm him up. There's a slight pause as he runs the thoughts through his head, but he nods after a moment- realizing he still has to answer Taiki outloud too.]
Yeah...yeah, definitely. Just stay up a while longer...just...just to be sure.
[Even if things are looking good, Yomotsu's still so panic-stricken at the idea of fucking up and letting Taiki drift off too soon. It's not like he's a doctor, and he sure as hell doesn't know a lot about human health...but he can still guess at the general idea of things.
Yomotsu nuzzles against him again- like he's redoubling his efforts to keep on making the other feel better, bit by bit.]
We'll...we'll eat something together later. When you're feeling a bit better.
no subject
[ Probably more than just a little bit, considering Taiki didn't exactly move from the spot Yomotsu told him to wait at to grab something to eat or anything. He didn't even try to go to some convenience store nearby to buy something just to make sure he would still be there if Yomotsu came back, no matter when it was. And it's not exactly like anyone here at home missed him when he skipped dinner, so the consequence is that the boy's stomach is practically empty by now. It doesn't bother him though - what bothers someone as bubbly as Taiki? - and he probably doesn't even feel the full extent of it while he's cuddling with the other like this. That's much more at the forefront of his mind than anything else.
At least he is being good and not falling asleep, so he's not making it harder for the other. Taiki still seems a bit sleepy or dazed, yes, but the way he's actively leaning into the other's nuzzling and moving slightly against him is enough to indicate Taiki is still very much awake.
Besides.. ]
I don't want to sleep anymore right now though.. [ Not because he isn't tired, mind you. No matter how Taiki's personality is, it's not like his body can exactly keep up with suddenly staying up the whole night out there in the cold. ] Not while you're here.
[ That's more the reason. Even though Taiki is sure he'll be able to get lots more of this from Yomotsu in the future since the two of them are soulmates, he still doesn't want to waste this moment anyway. Being like this with Yomotsu makes him feel so warm and happy, it'll pass way too soon if he goes to sleep now.
He smiles a little against the other though, seemingly nowhere near as worried as Yomotsu himself is. ]
But even if I'd sleep.. you'd be there when I wake up, right?
[ Yomotsu wouldn't leave him.. that's something he still believes, even now Yomotsu almost did leave him. And under the worst circumstances possible, on top of it. ]
no subject
Then again, maybe the best thing he could do is just ask Taiki what he wants himself.]
Do you want me to go get you something now...? I'll have to get up again for a second, but I'll come right back...
[In a somewhat tentative motion, he moves his hand up and down against the back of Taiki's head- trying to be more reassuring. It still feels like his motions are a bit awkward...these're things he's not used to doing at all normally.
But he really needs Taiki to know that he won't leave for good- not again, and not for long. Even though he's sure by now that the boy would believe him, it's not good enough just to know that he will come back...Yomotsu needs to make sure Taiki knows he'll come back fast too. That he won't leave him like he did before...not again. That's something he could never bring himself to do again.
And so...]
I'll be here...even if I'm gone for a second, it's just to get you something. And then I'll be here again.
[He doesn't want to leave Taiki without telling him...but this is just in case- just in case Taiki needs something that Yomotsu has to go get for him, maybe after he's fallen asleep too.]
no subject
So all the reassuring from Yomotsu isn't exactly needed, but the human smiles anyway when he hears all of it. It's just nice to hear it too, Yomotsu promising so much that he'll come back, that he'll be by his side right away again. That means Yomotsu must like being around him just as much as Taiki likes being around Yomotsu, right?
He laughs weakly - the weak part more due to his body's current condition than anything else, since he really is happy - and wiggles slightly against the other. ]
Can't you take me with you..?
[ Yes, it's not like he doesn't trust Yomotsu, he knows the other will come back.. but now the fox spirit is giving him more affection than usually, Taiki doesn't want to miss out on a moment of it. He just doesn't want to stop cuddling with Yomotsu.
Then again, it's not exactly a good idea for him to leave the bed right now. He's so tired from sitting out there all night, not to mention he caught a cold, so Taiki's body probably isn't energetic and strong enough to support him right now. But Taiki isn't the type to consider that at all - he's just thinking about how he doesn't want to leave Yomotsu's side at all right now, and so he naively speaks up. ]