ic; a guy like me can't hold onto or let go of you

[lollypops]

( actual rendition of what's going on here tbh )

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[lollypops]

[ To be entirely honest, there's nothing particularly special about today. Things are just like usually - they predicted rain later today, but for now the sky is only a little cloudy and the weather is nice enough that all you need is a jacket at best while walking around outside.

Which is exactly what Itsuki is doing right now. A lollypop shoved into the corner of his mouth - like usually, too - one hand stuck in his pocket and the other throwing a round piece of bread up and down idly. To be honest, it's not even like he really wanted the bread itself, it was more about the adrenaline of trying to sneak one of those away from the store while the owner wasn't paying attention. It might be a small risk, but hey, what fun is life without those sort of things? Even if he doesn't feel like eating something healthy (god forbid), he figures he can just go sit in the park and feed it to the ducks he often sees around there. They're pretty cute, even if he'd deny it to hell and back when asked about it.

Except there's a small hitch in his plan. Because he's too busy staring into the front window of a store as he passes by, he doesn't notice where he's going - and that means that only a moment later, he's bumping fully into someone walking the other way on the sidewalk, the force enough to make the bread he threw up into the air drop on the ground instead.

Without even looking or bothering to assume it might be his fault this happened, he's already making sound. ]

Hey!

[ Look, he might not have cared about that piece of bread, but it's about.. about the principle of the thing. Something like that. (You know, despite this being his fault to begin with.) ]

[kusatsu]

[Everyone at the Convent had their training routines. Kiraki worked out and sparred every day, keeping her body in top physical condition. Umie tested herself against servers every day, challenging and timing herself with every code she decrypted. Sakari would spend her time in the dojo and the shooting range, even keeping up with her hobbies as she honed her skills with a rife.

But as for Kiyomi, this was her training. Being outside with people, convincing shop keepers to give her a discount with a smile and a few kind words; breaking up fights and comforting scorned women. She kept herself fresh, taking in every detail and calculating the perfect response. Shifting between mature office worker, innocent college girl to cocky party girl like she was changing out masks. Sometimes she'd even make a new mask and see how well it worked.
But today, her usual training regiment was to encounter an unforeseen obstacle. She felt a body bump in to her, and her game began. Kiyomi looked at him, taking in every nuance of his expression and his demeanor in a few short moments.]

From the look on your face, you seem to be implying that it is somehow my fault that your bread fell.
I am sorry that you're so clumsy.

[She said with a dazzling smile, one that hugely contradicted her harsh words and her indifferent tone. She picked up the loaf, turning it over in her hands to asses the damage.]

If you're that hungry, I can buy you a new one.

[This time her tone turned genuine, but her smile twisted into a smirk. Usually her expressions were much more coordinated, but she was starting to realize that that were something upsetting her usually flawless emotional state. She however wasn't annoyed, she was intrigued, deeply so. She had seen this little stray around a few times before, and now that she was talking to him face to face, there was no doubt that there was something different.]

[lollypops]

[ It's only at the voice that he bothers to actually look at the person talking - and that very fact makes him blink. Her words completely go past him for a moment, since his first impression is that she's pretty (look, it's not like he can ignore those kind of thoughts nor does he really feel like doing so). But even more than that, it's since she's different than most other people around here. Being out on the streets usually means making his own fun, since the people are all the same and all so boring that he can practically predict their reactions more than half of the time.

But here she is, talking to him with a tone and expression that don't suit her words at all, and-- well, to put it bluntly (as Itsuki totally would and does to himself), she seems like a huge weirdo.

A weirdo that's looking down on him, on top of it. Rather than latching onto the smile, it's the smirk and the sharp edge to the words themselves, even if not mirrored in the tone, that he clings onto almost defensively instead. ]

Of course it's your fault! [ It comes out so genuinely that it's pretty easy to assume he somehow managed to convince himself of that fact in the few seconds that just passed. ] And..

[ Letting outa puff of breath, he instead forces the usual cocky grin back on his face. Like hell he's going to let someone who looks like they think they're above him walk all over him. That's no way to survive out here. ]

Yeah, you better buy me a new one. You tooootally owe me now. Who knows what kind of scary things could happen if that debt has to be repaid any other way?

[ Not that he's thinking of anything in particular. Nor does he really care about the bread all that much to begin with. He just has to show off, straightening himself as if to draw strength just from those few extra inches he's got on her. ]

[kusatsu]

[A soft expression of surprise forms on her face as she resists the urge to laugh. He's already so laughably easy to read that it almost throws her for a loop.
After a moment her own reactions start to come to her. He is very cute, she herself thinks that he in very cute. Usually this kind of observation never comes from her Marks. But he isn't a Mark right now. The fact that he's cute and impressionable isn't something that she needs to exploit for her mission. Instead, it's just something that makes her want to see him squirm a little, and admit what he's really feeling.]

Well, now you've got me interested. Say I didn't have any money? Would you have me be your slave, then?

[This time she manages to solidify her expressions together, everything about her now drips with suggestion as the corners of her lips turn up ever so slightly. He doesn't realize what he's getting himself into, and she feels almost obligated to show him exactly who he is dealing with.
She takes a step towards him, employing her confidence and power. He was trying to gain control of the situation, but he'd need to try much harder than that to over come her. Especially when she's found something that she wants.]

[lollypops]

[ ... Hah?

He was the one leading this whole thing, so how come it suddenly feels like he's being propositioned here out of the blue? Sure, it's not like Itsuki has always had favorable reactions to this sort of stuff. He's been in fights multiple times, he's been nimble enough to flee from some of those situations, too.. but it's never been this sort of thing. Never someone offering-- well, that.

Itsuki's sure made people do stuff for him before, but why did she have to put it that way?! Calling it a slave just makes it sound weird!

But immediately backing down because of that would be way too much like showing weakness, so he opts for trying the middle road. Or at least keeping up the whole deal for another moment, even as something in his intestines is starting to curl up. ]

Why, would you do it if I asked?

[ Please just say no so he can bend this into something he's a little more in control of, okay... ]

[kusatsu]

[She let out a searingly bright laugh, nearly doubling over a for a moment before looking up at him again.]

Of course not, what are you stupid? As if I'd do something like that over a loaf of bread.

[Her tone was light and cheerful for a few brief moments before she snapped back to her previous attitude. She watched his thoughts flicker across his face. Every new piece of information she saw seemed to please her. He was inexperienced, he had a stubborn sense of pride, and he thought that she was very pretty.

He wanted to get things back under his control. She was however open to that idea, but he'd have to try much harder than this.]

Besides, I said only if I didn't have any money.

[She said, flicking her hair to the side.] Unfortunately for you I remembered to bring my wallet with me. [She pushed the loaf of bread into his chest and looked him straight in the eyes. ]

I'll buy you a new loaf of bread, if that's really all you want.

[lollypops]

[ There's something in his face that momentarily shifts at the question if he's stupid - as if he's already quickly taking it as an accusation, and the bridge of his nose wrinkles like he's about to start scowling in return. Really, she's ready to call him stupid that easily?

But then the bread is shoved into his arms and the only options he has are either dismissing her entirely or sucking it up and just letting her buy the bread. It feels like he's going to lose some of his pride in either situation - which certainly doesn't make that pouty feeling right under his skin go away.

What kind of frustrating girl... ]

.. fine.

[ If this is all he can get, then he's just going to scrape together what he can have. Even if it means that the last of his dignity is practically gone. He knows he doesn't have much of a choice here, even if it's still a little embarrassing.

He shifts the bread in his arms a little, the lollipop bobbing up and down in his mouth. ]

Then don't make weird suggestions in front of strangers next time and just buy it for me already.

[lollypops]

[ It's not even that much later that stuff changes. Meeting up with Shikura, witnessing the Church equivalent of take your distant relative maybe to your work day... and then Itsuki's decision to join to train and become a Sakura as well - without a Messiah, he claims.

No matter whether that'll end up being true or not, it still means Itsuki is here at the Church now, having exchanges his old hobo-like clothes for the uniform all Sakura cadets wear. His reaction to Kamikita's introduction of him to the other Church members is mostly met with disinterest on Itsuki's part - why should he care whether these people know who he is or not? It's not like he plans on working together with them anyway. Whatever.

It's why he's quick to just olly out of there once it's over, even when some of the others (particularly the one with the brown hair) seem like they want to talk to him. He doesn't care. He just brushes past them, out of the room, instead chasing a rumor he's heard. He's seen the guys already, he knows what to expect here-- but apparently there's girls too? Kamikita did mention they were over at the Church today, so Itsuki just casually saunters through the place, his usual lollipop in his mouth..

.. until he suddenly spots a familiar face. And said lollipop almost falls out of his mouth at the same time, Itsuki only manages to stop it at the last moment.

What is she doing here?!

He doesn't even say anything nor does he walk away - he's just staring, mouth still slightly hanging open. Apparently his brain just needs a moment to reboot. ]

[kusatsu]

[Kiyomi paused when he caught sight of her and gave him a satisfied grin. She then motioned to Sakari and the others to go one without her, her Messiah simply raising and eyebrow at her before shrugging and continuing on with the other two.]

Surprised to see me? I guess we didn't get as far as to talk about our jobs last time, now did we? [After she had gotten his name last time, she had taken the liberty of looking into him a little bit. She found out that his uncle was a high-ranking Section 5 agent who's status was currently unknown. And with the most recent conflict resulting in one of the most skilled Sakura cadets being revealed as a traitor and subsequently killed; Itsuki's placement came of no surprise to her.]

I've been here for for almost a year now. Really, you're the one who's out of place here. [She sidled right up to him, poking a finger at his chest as she continued to grin up at him. Oh how she enjoyed having the upper hand and knowing everything. But she had no intention of just twirling him around her finger, that was boring. Her interest in him had not dwindled since they last met. And she was eager to see what else lay in store.]

[lollypops]

I'm not out of place! I already kicked the ass of some of these guys before, if anything, I'm too good for this place.

[ He puffs his chest out a little like he's offended by the very suggestion, even if that's not the exact angle she was going for. But what can anyone say, Itsuki is just a little bit defensive. (A little bit a lot.)

At least his jaw is back to normal and his lollypop no longer in danger of a very floory fate. Especially since he lets out a breath and seems to calm down at least a little bit right after. ]

.. I guess it makes sense though. [ He thoughtfully reaches for the stick of his lollipop for a moment, but doesn't grab it out of the corner of his mouth. ] All that talk about having to pretend to be other people.. you had a job as a spy kinda type all along, huh?

Although I dunno about the fighting part..

[ Itsuki, are you just actively asking for someone to come and kick your ass or what. ]

[kusatsu]

I haven't always been a spy. But this job utilizes my skills much better than my previous one. [She spoke rather slowly, as her arms and feet shifted instantly in response to his last comment.

She reached up to grab his shoulder suddenly, pulling him off balance so that she could throw her legs out, sweeping his feet out from under him. She then thrust herself forward, throwing all her weight into him to pin his shoulders to the floor with her arms.]

What was that you said about fighting? [she grinned down at him. There was no question that she had overdid it this time, but there was no way that she could ignore a challenge like that. She licked her lips without thinking, her long hair dripping down around her face in dark tendrils. Her legs straddled on either site of his lower abdomen. ]

[lollypops]

[ He's definitely caught off guard. It's not that Itsuki isn't good at fighting as well, he's incredibly nimble when he has to be-- but he was well and truly underestimating her when those words left his mouth. He didn't think she would go this far, at least.

And although there's a dull pain somewhere between his shoulderblades from being slammed onto the ground like that, he's more busy being surprised at all of it for a moment. Itsuki even forgets to suck in breath for a moment as he looks at the way Kiyomi looms over him.

But then the surprise fades away - leaving something else in its wake. Amusement. Excitement, even. There's that adrenaline that starts pumping itself through his veins every single time he gets into trouble. It's more exciting than anything else.

(He deals considerably better with life and death or just general fighting situations than anything relating to interpersonal relationships, apparently.) ]

Oooh, so what're you going to do now? [ The corners of his lips curl up into a grin, despite the situation and the fact that he's trapped under her. If he'd put in effort he might be able to reverse the tables, but he doesn't feel like doing so just yet.

He's way too curious what she's planning. ]

Knock me out and leave me here like that?

[kusatsu]

[For once she was actually initially surprised by his response. That of course pleased her greatly. He was rising to her challenge, whatever that might be. But he still hadn't guessed her real intention. She actually appreciated that he didn't assume the sexual right away. He saw first her capabilities in combat, and only second that she was a woman. But for once she actually intended the second angle.]

Oh no, that'd be far too easy, and boring. What I'd like to do requires you to be fully conscious.

[She shifted her position over him as she spoke. Moving to straddle his hips fully. She still however kept just a bit of teasing distance between them. She kept herself propped up on one arm, lifting her other hand to gently take ahold of his chin.]

But unfortunately this is not the time and place for that~

[lollypops]

[ At least Kiyomi definitely wasn't wrong when she saw right through his intentions when he asked her about where the girls were staying. In fact, it doesn't even take that long. Despite the fact that he's so new, the possible punishment of being caught sneaking out at night and sneaking to the other part of section 5 - not to mention doing more than just mingling with someone who isn't his Messiah - doesn't seem to scare him at all. It only takes a few days at best before Itsuki moves out at night. Maybe Ariga notices him leaving the room, but Itsuki doesn't really care since the other doesn't speak up about it. At least sneaking through the hallways of Church goes fairly easy, even getting outside, and he finds the shop Kiyomi was talking about soon after too.

Sneaking in there is one thing, but once he is in the Convent, he realises a whole different problem entirely. He did ask her where this place was, sure, but he never bothered to ask her about her room. It'd make it too obvious. But it does leave him with the problem of quite a few doors with various girls sleeping behind them, and he doesn't know which is the right one.

It stops him for a few moments, but then he realises what to do. He tries to recall the scent from that day the best he can, what he could smell so clearly while she held him, while they were so close their faces literally touched, and then decides to follow his nose. It doesn't deceive him, since it leads him right to her door - and it seems that her Messiah is out as well. The perfect opportunity.

So without knocking or announcing him in any other sort of way, Itsuki just moves into the room - closing the door behind him - and moves over to Kiyomi's bed, casually sitting down on the side of it without saying anything more just yet. ]

[kusatsu]

[Sakari was absent once again, that was not the surprising thing. The surprising thing was that despite her having been alone on many night like this before, her heat still refused to calm down. Without the presence of another human to ground her, her mind whirled into feverous spirals of fear and doubt. Her chest too tight for her to even let out a sob. She prayed for sleep to claim her, and yet it refused to come as she clutched the blankets tightly to her chest.
In the midst of her anxieties, the door opening suddenly caused her heart to become gripped with fear.
She had no reason to be afraid, and yet her body was frozen. She could hear that is was him, just by the shape of his breath. Even with her back to him she knew who it was. But even so her body refused to obey her.]

Who's there...?

[ She said in a small wavering voice, her throat so tight that it felt like she was being strangled. He still wasn't as familiar to her as she wished. They still had only met a few times, but she needed his comfort again, perhaps it would be what she needed in the face of this suffocating fear.]

[lollypops]

[ Huh? Even though he hasn't talked all that much to her before, there's still something weird about this reaction. It feels weird. That voice, so small, so hesitant, so scared.. that isn't like her. It isn't like any side of her that he's seen, anyway, and he's not sure if he's mostly just confused or if there isn't some part of him that's almost breaking at the sound of that tone. It seems to speak of more, since there's no reason for Kiyomi to be afraid of him, right? ]

It's me.

[ It's why Itsuki doesn't hesitate to answer the question, maybe just a little bit quick in his need to reassure her. To find out what that tone is for and get rid of it.

.. then again, that smells like Kiyomi, and it sounds like Kiyomi, but.. maybe he's wrong? He hasn't met her that much before, maybe there's someone similar to her here and he just ran into the wrong room. So he turns to try and look at her, but it's pretty hard to do that in the dark room. He can make out the outline of her, but that could practically be any girl.

So Itsuki hardly seems to waste any time. He's moving again a moment later, turning however he must until he's in a position where he's face to face with her - almost a little too close, but it's the only way he can properly make out her face in the dark.

Maybe a little too close, since he can feel his heart jumping in his chest, the very same feeling as on that day when she was the one who came this close. At this rate his cheeks will be burning red enough to illuminate the room by themselves, but he tries to force it down and focus on her instead. Because if she's giving him this feeling, then it's definitely the right person he's gotten here and there's just something else going on. ]

I.. Itsuki. That's who, geez... [ That pouty tone is totally him trying to bite down his concern but failing big time. ]

[kusatsu]

Itsuki...[ She breathed his name with a sigh of relief, and felt the tension melt from her limbs as if she had just since been made fully of ice. With her limps thawed she relaxed her shoulders and rolled onto her other side to face him. Their faces were impossibly close now as he was now right next to her. She could just make out his pale face outlined in the dark. His silhouette ghosted by the computer in the corner, the only source of light.

She met his eyes, trying to remember the warm brown color that they held in the sunlight. Breathing him in as she felt his breath on her lips, and could practically feel the heat radiating from his cheeks. He was embarrassed of course, but he was also clearly concerned. ]

Itsuki...[She said again, taking another deep calming breath.] I didn't expect that you'd come for me in the night. But I suppose it makes the most amount of sense. [ Her tone still wavered, devoid of her usual composure. She knew what he was probably there for, but the fear in the back of her mind screamed other possibilities. That he wouldn't be any different for the kind of man her fear had mistaken him for.
But she kept looking at him, lifting her hand towards him almost hesitantly, needing to prove her own anxety wront.]

[lollypops]

[ It's obvious that she's still not quite her usual self. The way she hesitates like that, her tone wavering.. sure, he always tries to project a tough attitude and there's a part of him that prefers it if people are just scared of him and stay away, but she's never been like that. She saw through him right away, when they met before he even joined Sakura and then again when they talked here.. so why would that suddenly change?

There's a moment of hesitation born more from embarrassment than anything else, but then he decides to say screw it since there's no one else around anyway and he gently grabs the hand she's reaching out with, enveloping her hand in his own larger one. ]

Don't say stuff you don't believe. [ His voice is low, quiet - despite the fact that Kiyomi's Messiah isn't here, he still speaks as if someone could overhear them. ] I mean.. you don't really think I'm here to do something weird, right?

[ Sure, Itsuki knows what men are like. It's not like he's completely oblivious as to how sexual desire works, after all. But seeing Kiyomi so weak and frightened absolutely kills all thought of that - if it had even come to him so easily with how tsundere he is to begin with. ]

I just..

[ He swallows thickly. This is so hard for him to say, but she seems like she needs reassurement more than anything, which means he has to confess his reasons for coming here, no matter how hard it is. ]

.. I wanted to see you..

[ Saying that feels like plunging a dagger into his own gut, and to hide his embarrassment (especially with how close their faces are and how she's staring right at him) he leans forward to bury his face and curls in the crook of her neck. ]

[kusatsu]

[ She was surprised with how forward he was being, but she was also ultimately delighted. Her heart now beat for a different reason as he held her hand, spoke to her so honestly, and even drew himself close to her. She squeezed his hand, even as that arm was still pinned slightly under her own weight. She took her free hand and placed it on his back. The sakura uniform gone, he only wore a simple long-sleeved shirt. She spread her fingers out along the fabric and sighed.]

Of course not...I know you're better than that. But, I've survived so far on instinct, and by learning from past experiences and...every other time a man has come for me in the middle of the night--
[ she let out a small whimper and pulled him closer to her. Pressing her own face into his neck and hair.]

I...I wanted to see you too. I'm glad that you came...

[ He had already shown such deep concern for her when she had started to have meltdowns the last time they spoke. None of that had pushed him away and she was so happy. Needing to constantly put up a front is exhausting. And he while surprised, was never revolted by the true self she had begun to show.]

[lollypops]

[ Eventually Itsuki finds himself sneaking out of Church again. Because he promised Kiyomi that he would seek her out again, and despite what he might seem like, Itsuki keeps those kind of promises. Especially after what happened last time. The thought of that comes with a slight flush moving across his cheeks - the sensation of her mouth on his skin, sucking on her fingers.. it's enough to make his heart pound a little quicker, but he tries to keep his steps light. This is their secret, after all. And there's at least one person who would probably gladly throw him out to the wolves, considering everything up until now.

.. their secret. He idly rubs the spot under his shirt where he knows she's left a mark - he's been checking up on it every single time he's had the time to look into a mirror by himself.

They're not strangers anymore now, she said, and it's something that's hard to deny even for Itsuki. So he finds himself automatically seeking her out now things are lingering so much inbetween being annoying and being confusing. Somehow it feels like her presence in the middle of all of it is at least something he can depend on, even if it means sneaking into her room.

Remembering how much he startled her last time, he now comes in a little more cautiously at first. Checking to make sure her Messiah isn't there again, closing the door behind him, not moving from there yet as he calls out-- ]

.. Kiyomi, it's me.

[ It's only then that he approaches the bed, before just..

.. well, flopping down on it. Apparently he's making himself right at home here, and something about the slightly more mature aura disappears the moment he does so, considering his tone drops to a whine right after. ]

Kiyomiiii...

[ Apparently someone just wants to be comforted, huh. And she's his last resort when it comes to that.

(And he likes being around her, but it's easier to think about when he doesn't put that as the forefront reason in his mind.) ]

[kusatsu]

[ Kiyomi lets out a sight as soon as she hears his voice. Despite his usual cocky tone, his initial words bring her an immense amount of comfort. It's Itsuki, he kept his promise. She momentarily forgot all her pretenses and turned to face him with a smile on her face. Clearly he had something that he wanted to complain about, but she had something that she needed from him first. Without so much as a word she snaked her arms around him and pulled him close.
She couldn't decide. She wanted to kiss him, and she wanted to bury her face in his chest. The compromise she could think of wasn't immediately appropriate however. She didn't want to distract him from whatever he came here for. ]

Itsukiiii

[ Kiyomi replied teasingly, looking up at him with a grin. She could hardly see his face in the low glow but she still took in the sight. With another sigh she moved her self up, not avoiding dragging her body against his. She pulled her blanket over them both and lay so that their faces were totally level. ]

And to what do I owe this midnight visit?

[ She said while stroking the side of his face gently, tangling her fingers in his hair. She was so appreciative that he had honored his promise. She'd be lying if she said that he hadn't been counting the days. Itsuki was just such a lovely reminder that men didn't exist only to hurt her or to be manipulated after all. The warm an genuine feelings that rose in her chest were still so new and exciting. And because of those feelings she wanted to hear everything that he wanted to say. ]

[lollypops]

[ For a moment he's completely distracted, even in the middle of his whiny tantrum. The thoughts of all the annoying things lately seem to vanish away at just this - the sight of her, the feeling of her body against his own, the way she gently strokes his cheek and plays with his hair. It happens instantly too, without any extra words, as if it's just normal for her to do this.

As if it's just normal for her to actually give him the time of day, to be willing to listen to his worries and comfort him without him even explicitly needing to ask for it...

Isn't that why he started oddly liking her so much, despite them not even having spoken that much? Kiyomi doesn't look down him, she doesn't treat him as a child whenever he says something. She's willing to patiently listen to him at any moment, even when he suddenly sneaks in like this.

His heart pounds rapidly in his chest, and he avoids her gaze for a slight moment, desperately hoping the flush on his cheeks isn't as visible in the dark. ]

W-well, I promised!

[ He tries to calm his heart - to no avail - but at least manages to look back at her. It's hard to not meet her gaze when they're lying this close together, after all. ]

And.. everyone was being annoying, so.. I-- I guessed it'd be less annoying here. [ Which is the Itsuki way of saying he just wanted to be comforted by her a little, even if it's just through her presence.. for all his talk about faring better by himself, he loves the feeling of this, just watching her as she listens to him, being held by her-- slowly but surely his own hands move in turn to cling onto her. ]

[kusatsu]

[She gave a small noise of appreciation as he finally placed his hands on her. She was only wearing a pair of underwear under her knee-length nightgown, so it would be very easy for him to ended up directly touching her skin. She was so inexplicably happy in that moment. She held everything from their previous encounter dear in her heart. Everything from the way he comforted her from her night terrors, to the sweet goodbye kiss that he left her with. Thinking about it made her lips burn with anticipation.]

Didn't you say once that I was an 'Annoying, weird girl'?

[ Kiyomi smiled, closing her eyes and leaning her forehead up against his. She appreciated everything about his presence in that moment. The fact that he had taken such pains to not frighten her again; the fact that he had honored his promise and even now seemed to value speaking to her over kissing and touching her again.]

But, really, you're having trouble with your new teammates, right?

[She buried her left hand further into his hair. She began gently massaging his scalp just in the way she knew he liked. She could feel the heart radiating from his face, she hoped to feel it grow as she tailed her other hand down his surprisingly broad chest. Bringing her hand back up, she played with the wide collar of his shirt, drawing her fingers across his collarbones and teasing under the edges of fabric. She half expected him to star purring, and she pressed herself closer to him almost in anticipation. ]

[lollypops]

[ He tries to frown a little at the statement. Because he did say that, and he doesn't want to take it back since that'd be terribly uncool (and hey, Kiyomi is weird, but that's exactly why he got so interested in her..), but it's hard to frown in her presence somehow. Especially when she sees so happy. So it doesn't get much further than a slightly wrinkled forehead before she moves her hand into his hair even more, and it's just.. so comfortable...

Letting out a half-sigh, half-groan, he buries his face into the spot where her neck meets her shoulder for a moment. It feels so nice, even if something is vaguely embarrassing about all this. He doesn't want it to stop, but letting it continue without protest feels weird too -- life is hard when you're Itsuki and tsun, okay.

So he instead tries to focus on words more than how nice it feels when she pulls her hand through his hair like that. ]

They keep getting mad at me and I dunno why.

[ Because in his eyes, he isn't doing anything wrong. This is how he was raised, it was always alright in the past, so.. why wouldn't it be now? Are those guys really so naive that they think they can rely on their Messiah so easily, without thinking? ]

.. they probably look down on me. [ That's said with a slight frown at least despite the situation. Because if there's anything Itsuki hates, it's that. And it's why he's confessing it only to Kiyomi now - because she doesn't. She doesn't look down on him the way people so easily do, and it makes him feel more validated and appreciated than anything else could. ]

[kusatsu]

[ She moved her left hand from his hair to his back, and her right hand from his chest o his hair. Snaking her arm under him to reach. She could feel him mutter against her skin, and yet still heard him clearly. She began rubbing soothing circles on his back, resting her face against his neck in return.

She felt so warm and safe against him like this. He leaned into her so that he was practically laying on top of her. Not like he was trying to pin her down, it was just inevitable with how broad his torso was in comparison to hers. Even so she encouraged it a bit, subtly tugging on him so that he covered her more almost like a blanket. She let out a small sigh of her own, needing to resist hooking her leg over his hip, her leg twitching slighting against him instead. She needed to focus, and not derail him. ]

I don’t think it’s that they look down on you. They probably just don’t think that you take it seriously. And they don’t want someone to die because of something reckless that you do.

[ That was what she had heard anyway, second hand through Kiraki who seemed to have taken Mamoru’s frustration and somehow amplified it tenfold. Where Mamoru was ready to give him some harsh words, Kiraki was ready to grab him by the scruff and tell him exactly how he needs to shape up. But Kiyomi had made sure to convince Kiraki otherwise, or to at least stop her from marching into the Church on her own. ]

I don’t look down on you.
It's just that since Mamiya-san died, they are just very aware that any of them could die at any moment, and they just don’t want to lose anyone else.