ic; a guy like me can't hold onto or let go of you

[lollypops]

( actual rendition of what's going on here tbh )

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[kusatsu]

[ She sighed contentedly, feeling him relax against her. She too was able to relax letting her hand rest on his hip. ]

I'm sorry...I...didn't mean to...

[ She suddenly gave a small yawn and nuzzled her cheek against his hand. Crying like she did had made her sleepy. As much as she wanted to stay awake and talk to him more, she didn't know how long she would be able to resist falling asleep in his arms. ]

Thank you though...thank you for being here.

[ She wanted to thank him for so many things. For being so careful and so kind. For valuing her so much and for caring so much about what she thought and felt. She knew that she was safe to fall asleep in his arms. This was perhaps the greatest show of trust that she could give him, and she hoped that this would quell his fears.

Kiyomi then began to shift, moving so that she could curl up against him. She pressed her ear to his chest and listened to his breathing and heartbeat. Nothing was more soothing or comforting to her than his his embrace.]

Itsuki...

[She murmured, ]

I'm so glad that I met you...

[lollypops]

[ Well, in the end it didn't do too much about his problems. Sure, Kiyomi did say some things he'll have to consider lately, but there's still some kind of frustration about it all that just gathers up somewhere in the back of his brain.

But it's too far away to reach right in this moment. And besides, it's not like he didn't get some other things out of all this. Kiyomi curling up against him like that, a lot more obviously content than a little bit ago. Thanking him for being there (something no one has ever done before) and saying she's glad that she met him (something no one ever has said either).

If he can stay like this a little bit more, then it's fine, right? His problems seem to melt away instantly every moment he spends in her presence anyway - like there isn't enough space in his brain for anything else to occupy it than Kiyomi whenever she's near.

Wrapping his arms around her, he's sure to keep her close, show her that he'll protect her no matter what. Sure, the Convent might be a hell of a lot more safe than most places, but that doesn't matter. He'll still be up all night just to watch her, to make sure she's alright and sleeping at ease.

(Not that he'll actually make it all night, but you know, Itsuki is Itsuki. He'll believe in it all the same.) ]

So just sleep then.. [ He's trying to even keep his voice down here for her sake instead of being his usual loud self. ] I'm not going anywhere.

[kusatsu]

Itsuki...
[ She sighed into his chest, completely and utterly content in that moment. She squeezed him tightly in appreciation before relaxing into a more comfortable position. She couldn't believe how incredibly lucky she was to have met him. It made her realize how much she had been missing out on. It made her see the joys of such emotions that she had one seen as trivial. Things like love, happiness, joy, they were only seen as tool to her, accessories. But now that those feelings bloomed in her chest and she could feel them being reciprocated, she understood. She understood why people could be so easily manipulated sometimes, it felt wonderful to know that someone cared about you.

She kept her lips sealed tight, worried about what she might blurt out in a state like this. She knew that she would be able to sleep no matter what after the last time he slept over. The only thought more appealing than this was if the two of them could some how live a normal life. Date like normal people instead of having to sneak around and keep things a secret. But in the end it didn't matter, as long as she could keep feeling his arms around her, she'd be fine somehow.

And with those thoughts, she felt herself continuing to drift off, her breaths slowing as her consciousness finally slipped away, giving way to sleep.]

[lollypops]

[ Itsuki watches every moment of it, continuing to hold onto her. He doesn't want to risk her being uncomfortable and not falling asleep, that's the reason he tells himself for it - but it's actually just that he wants to stay here like this too. He can't think of any other time he's held onto someone like this, but it's so nice and comforting to know he's not alone. That he doesn't have to face everything by himself, that there's someone who genuinely cares about him and wants to help him out, despite everything he's learned to believe up until this point.

And that's why he has to stick here like this and protect her. Because what is he going to do if anything would happen to her? To Kiyomi, the one person who cares about him? Would he even be able to forgive himself if he did nothing to stop that?

No way. So he'll protect her. No matter what happens, he'll protect her, so all he has to do is stay up tonight and watch her sleep - certainly not a punishment, considering how beautiful she is (he realises that even more now) and how peaceful and genuine she looks while sleeping like that without having to worry about what kind of face she should have to put up.

That's right, all he has to do is stay awake. Even though it's so warm and comfortable in bed, and Kiyomi is so soft, and her breathing makes him calm down so much..

.. It doesn't take more than ten minutes tops before Itsuki has fallen asleep as well, clinging onto her like a baby koala. ]