mysteries | ic; god that was strange to see you again

[ignoring her growing irritation at Kaito she looked back at Mamoru. She was already prepared to do anything that he asked of her, but that look of his made it all the more certain.]

okay.

[She said with a gentle smile, placing her hand over his briefly before standing up. She hopped off the bed, shaking hair hair out of her eyes, Walking calmly to these door, hardly glancing at Kaito even though she stood next to him in the door way.]

Kaito makes it his habit to know everything about this place. I'm sure that he can tell you where to find me. Even so I'll stay here in the Church a little longer.

[with that, she left, a faint feeling of worry building in her heart. Kaito must have know everything. That her execution was faked and that she had been with Botan this whole time, judging by his reaction to her presence. She only hope that this wouldn't negatively impact him and Kaito's friendship.]

[With the woman gone, Kaito stepped fully into the room. It was his room. His and Mamoru’s room. And yet she had waltzed in so casually and seduced him like it was nothing.]

Unbelievable. She kept her nose out of things until now. Why couldn’t it just have stayed that way...

[He said in a bitter quiet tone. Walking over to his own bed, placing his holo-drive down carefully. She clearly wasn't satisfied with Haruto fawning over her. She stuck around and twirled Mamoru around her finger acting like she was doing nothing wrong.]

[ Even as he watches Kiraki walk away, the uncertain feeling remains in the pit of his stomach. It's going to take a whole lot to make those two get along, he can tell that much.. Which is definitely going to be an issue in the future since he's not planning on ever abandoning either of them if he can help it. They're both important to him, so they'll just eventually have to find some way to live with that fact. So he tries to at least smile a little bit at Kiraki when she leaves.

But right now there's more immediate problems to deal with. Mostly Kaito's reaction to this whole thing. The fact that he's sort of irritated isn't too surprising to Mamoru - Kaito's a little clingy when it comes to him, so of course he isn't going to appreciate walking in on him and Kiraki in the middle of that out of the blue..

But there's something else that's odd about all of this. And Mamoru stares at his best friend with wide eyes from where he's still sitting on his bed, blinking in surprise. ]

You're not surprised..? [ Sure, Kaito had never been as invested in Kiraki's general existence as Mamoru had been. And he also wasn't really aware of some things during that period of their life, on top of it, but even so.. he's almost talking like it's normal for Kiraki to be here of all places. ] That Tsushi-- That Kiraki is alive?

[ Don't mind him carefully fixing the collar of his coat a little as he talks.. ]

[he looks at him blankly, no where near on the same emotional wavelength as Mamoru was about the situation.

Of course. Her execution was obviously staged, what with how they rushed through it. But...I didn't know where she was till I came here. The Sakura and Botan networks are basically nested within one another. Operating on the same infrastructure with all the same servers. It's really quite fascinating how the whole system works.

[At that moment the internal framework of the network was honestly more interesting to him. He didn't want to talk about her, he didn't want her crawling in and complicating things again. He busied himself with straightening up his bed, almost completely ignoring Mamoru as he stood there.]

[ In one way, it shouldn't be a surprise. Because Kaito is Kaito, and of course he's going to experience these things on a way different emotional level than Mamoru does - speaking about it so blankly, so casually, as if Kiraki's near-execution was just about as exciting as a few clouds drifting across the sky. As if the structure of the tech systems at Sakura is much more important than the life of a friend. (It's because Kaito missed out on these things when he locked himself up for so long, he knows, he knows--)

But on the other hand, it still manages to grab Mamoru's heart with an iron claw, it feels like. His chest feels so tight, and for a moment he can't do anything but gape at Kaito's back as the other is busy with the bed.

He knew. Kaito knew, all along.. ]

Why..?

[ Mamoru can't help but think of all the times he worried since Kiraki's "execution" - all the times he took the long way around home so he could stop by her house, now occupied by other people, all the times he felt like he couldn't even get a bite of their dinner through his throat, all the times when he couldn't hold back the tears anymore when he got a moment to himself and everything just felt like it was too much, that the guilt threatened to wreck him. ]

If you knew.. then why didn't you tell me, Kaito? [ There's no accusation in his voice, at least. There's mostly just surprise -- surprise and confusion, maybe even a hint of sadness, since he now knows that all of that could have been prevented all along if Kaito had just told him something so simple, and he doesn't get it. ]

[He blinks again.]

Why would I tell you? I was trying to keep her away from you.

[He said it like it was the simplest, most obvious fact. He said it as if he didn't know how much Kiraki meant to her. As if he hadn't notice how Mamoru was on the edge of breaking down at nearly every moment since he was forced to deliver her to her "death".

That was because, he didn't. He didn't know. He was caught up in his delusion, his fantasy of his beloved brother. That Haruto didn't even have a crush on KIraki like the real one once did. In his world inside that apartment, she didn't need to exist.

Even while he himself had feelings for the girl that he refused to acknowledge. He shoved them away, sealed his heart. Telling himself, that he was doing "what was best" for Mamoru, even when every single fact screamed at him that this wasn't the case]

[ After a moment, Mamoru releases a breath he didn't even realise he was holding in after hearing that declaration.

It's said so simply. So easily. Like Kaito doesn't even think much of it. And while there's a lot that could be said about Kaito (and even though Mamoru would defend him to death unless he really fucked up), Mamoru knows Kaito would never hurt him on purpose. He would never be that malicious.

So he does figure that it's probably just that Kaito never noticed. He doubts his best friend would have left him alone if he noticed and knew he was suffering that much, anyway. ]

Kaito..

[ There's a slight hint of exasperation in it, but it's gone before it's even fully there, and Mamoru continues in the most direct way - the only way he knows he can get this through to him. ]

I.. like Kiraki. No, I love her. [ That much is clear now he's talked it over with her instead of staying stupidly oblivious, anyway. ] So don't treat her badly, alright..? She's not a bad person.

His eyes widened. He almost in shock when he heard Mamoru say those words. That he loved that woman. It made his chest feel tight and his hands begin to shake.

But, you know you can't right? She's in Section 5 too. She can't become your lover or even your friend.

[His teeth clenched. Mamoru had always been one to follow the rules. That's why tried to distance himself before the Messiah switch, so Kaito wouldn't get punished for being his friend, right? Right? Then why, when this woman suddenly turns up again, he-- he--]

I'm your Messiah now, Mamoru. You shouldn't need anyone else.

[While his words were scathing, his tone faltered. He didn't want Mamoru to need anyone else. He didn't want him to care about anyone more than e cared about him. It was selfish, and it was wrong, but he still didn't realize it.]

That woman--she can't just walk in and take you from me!

[ A heavy feeling sets in around the pit of his stomach for multiple reasons. One of them is a reason he already knew - technically, he can't love Kiraki. He's not allowed to by the very rules of the Church. But the fact that she suffered so much for his sake, that she almost died for his sake.. there's no way he can abandon her then, right?

But even aside from that, there's the fact that he absolutely hates seeing Kaito upset. Especially when he himself is the cause. Technically he might not be doing something wrong, and Mamoru does realise that much, but it doesn't change anything about the fact that Kaito - his best friend, his Messiah - is upset and it's his fault.

He has to set it right, one way or another.

It's why he steps forward, his hands landing on the side of Kaito's arms. ]

She's not taking me from anyone! [ The very concept of it would be laughable if it were any less serious situation, honestly. ] Do you really think that her being here now is going to change anything about you being my best friend or my Messiah? Mamiya and Ariga being our Messiah for the time being didn't change anything about it either..!

[ Mamoru has a heart that's way too big for his body, after all - which means he can fit way too many people in there too. He doesn't want to leave anyone behind.

He can deal with having Kaito as his best friend and Kiraki as his lover at the same time, even if Kaito can't accept it as easily. It's just that he'll have to try harder to hide one of those than the other, considering the rules. ]

[Mamoru was so sincere. But he didn't see what she was doing to hom. What she'd always been doing to him. She made him irrational and unreasonable. He just didn't understand why.

He said that their previous Messiah arrangement didn't keep them apart. But Mamoru had kept him out of his personal matters then. Even though Kaito had wanted to know what was upsetting him about him and Ariga, as soon as Kaito had cracked the password for him, Mamoru had told Kaito to go.

Did he not trust him?]

Okay.

[Kaito said, trying to muster a smile for his sake. As inept as he was, he could tell whenever Mamoru was suffering. Even if he couldn't help, he always wished that Mamoru would come to him first about any anything that was bothering him. Mamoru had always been there for him and put up with so much from him.]

But...If she hurts you I won't forgive her.

[Even if he couldn't fully accept it, he could at least state that much of his feelings without upsetting her further. His tone was still wrought with bitterness.]

When she disappeared, I really thought it was obvious. I didn't mean to lie to you.

[When he thought back to those times, he started to piece together the times when they would eat Kiraki's favorite food. Of course he knew what it was. She wouldn't shut up about how much she loved that Yakisoba. Mamoru would clam up and have to excuse himself. Was remembering her really that painful for him? At the time it just didn't connect. Hardly anything outside of his delusion in that apartment ever did.]

[ Maybe Mamoru didn't expect Kaito to give in so easily. And while he knows that it's probably not just the end of it and Kaito will instantly like Kiraki and it'll all be okay.. it's already a huge step that the other is saying this much. That he's smiling. It's like the knot his stomach was trying to form itself into is already being undone, releasing a feeling of relief through his body.

It's hard to surpress a smile at the sense of relief and at seeing Kaito's own smile in turn. It's always been hard not to smile when the other did, especially considering some of the tough times they've gone through already up to this point. ]

.. I know. [ It sounds sincere, like he really does believe in Kaito. Because he does. Kaito might be a little misguided and easy to judge and he doesn't have much experience with these social things thanks to the way he isolated himself after Haruto's death.

But he tries, and it means the world to Mamoru. It brings a strange sense of pride to mind - Kaito might be his best friend, but honestly, it's almost more like a paternal sort of pride in nature. Mamoru's just so very proud of the way his best friend has grown ever since they both joined the Church.

His hands drop from the other's shoulders, trailing over Kaito's own hands for a moment before they're pulled back. ]

Thanks, Kaito. For looking out for me like that.. it means a lot to me.

[ Besides, Mamoru could use some people to watch his back, with how naive he can still be about things despite his age. Not like he realises that much consciously though. ]

You really are my Messiah, after all. [ Not that the title itself means much to Mamoru. They've been good friends ever since they were kids.. them being Messiah or not now, it doesn't change all that much about the bond that already existed between the two of them for so long. But he knows that using that word specifically for it might put Kaito's heart at ease a little bit more - and it's not like it's a lie, after all. He does share a bond with Kaito that he doesn't with anyone else. ]

[Kaito gave a nod. Not wanting to upset him further above all else.]

Yes.

[He said the word solidly. With confidence as he knew it was true. He was Mamoru's Messiah, and Mamoru was his. It was just a reminder that Mamoru wouldn't just throw him away so easily. Not that he needed some arbitrary title given by some organization to know that.]

Tsushima-san...She-- [He began, forming the words slowly despite the resistance in his heart.] There is a tea-shop down the road. Across from a flower shop and next to an abandoned office building. [His voice was still soft, hardly above a whisper. But, he couldn't selfishly hold back this information anymore.] That is where one of the secret entrances to The Convent is.

[He had to somehow convince himself. Triumph over the burning anxiety and worry. The worry that Mamoru would replace him and no longer need him. Because he felt like he did nothing but burden him. The voice in the back of his mind told him that someone like Mamoru had no need for someone as gloomy and useless as he.

And yet, Mamoru remained. He had never left his side no matter how difficult things might have gotten.]

[ For a moment surprise moves across his face. Kiraki, Botan, the Convent.. all that time they had been that close? All this time he thought that she had been dead, and she thought he had been dead, but they had actually been this close to each other all along.

It's not too great of a feeling, but he tries to swallow it down. There's no need to burden Kaito with anything more now, when he's already proud enough of the other for trying to handle this in a way that's already way above Kaito's usual behaviour.

So he tries to smile, even with a slightly pained edge to it. ]

Hm, got it. [ A small nod. ] I'll go find her now then, I'm sure she's still waiting..

[ And while this situation is just hard for anyone to suddenly handle, he's sure it can't be all that easy for Kiraki either to deal with all these new revelations all at once. He doesn't want to make her wait. ]

Do you want me to bring anything back with me for you later? [ If there's anything Mamoru is constantly occupied with, it's keeping everyone happy, even in these small ways. (And honestly, he's already more than glad he can ask that by now without having to also ask what Haruto wants, knowing fully well the other wasn't there at all.) ]

[A wave of guilt rose up and washed over him briefly. He probably had been lying to Mamoru all that time, but had some how managed to ignore it or justify it this whole time. Since Kiraki was "dead" Mamoru never mentioned her, so it had become easy for Kaito at least to ignore her existence entirely. It clearly hadn't been the same way for Mamoru.

He pouted ever so slightly and sat down on his bed.]

Just some...green tea cookies. Please.

[Kaito said rather softly, resigning himself to let Mamoru fulfill his promise. He had promised to find Kiraki after all.]

...Sorry again...for...for not telling you.

[ He's about ready to say goodbye and walk out, but then Kaito says that first again. Feeling a soft breath escape him again, Mamoru tries to put on the most gentle expression he can - something that's not too hard for him, really, it comes to him so naturally - to show he's not mad at the other. It's not like he hadn't suffered for a long time, but.. still. He's not going to blame Kaito. Not when the other tohught he was doing the right thing in his own way. ]

It's alright. [ And since that feels a little short for the topic, since he doesn't want to be dismissive-- ] Really, I mean it. Let's talk more later when I get back, okay? We can eat the cookies together then too.

[ And with that promise and a smile, he's already off so he won't have to let Kiraki wait too long. She said she might still be lingering around the Church, so he's looking around for a little bit before realising she must have left already.

Which means going to the exit and grabbing a bunch of clothes that don't look as odd as his Sakura coat on the way. It's still nothing too creative - a leather jacket with a black shirt, pants and boots - but enough that should do for going outside. It's not as if he pays much attention to what he looks like anyway, this is just about practicality and not leaving Kiraki hanging too long, waiting by herself.

He manages to find the tea shop thanks to Kaito's directions, already spotting her sitting there through the window. His pace quickens a little bit as he walks inside, politely bowing to the server in the back (it must be someone with Botan, considering how it's usually worked with their fronts for the Church and all, he thinks) before he turns towards Kiraki.

Even if it makes him stop for a moment. Despite the fact that they're not exactly normal people anymore, she's still sitting there in a fairly cute outfit, including the hair clips.. it leaves him staring for a moment, especially when his gaze falls from her face to spot the necklace she's wearing.

He gave that to her what feels like so long ago. They hadn't seen each other for maybe half a year, but it feels like a different lifetime - a different life, that only small things like those are memories of. ]

I'm here. [ He finally manages to force the words out. ] Sorry for being late.

[ A moment later Mamoru is already quickly moving to sit on the seat opposite to hers, like he's trying to not put emphasis on the fact that he was clearly gaping at her for a moment there but just.. well, sucks at covering it up. ]

[Being pulled gently from her thoughts, she turns to smile at him. Her free hand falling instinctively to play with the necklace she was wearing. Botan and Sakura had very similar clothes provided for casual wear. And it looked like the jackets they had on were just male and female versions of the same garment.]

Nah, you're not late at all. The tea might actually be at a drinkable temperature now.

[She took a hold of the tea pot, and began pouring the tea for both of them.
She noticed him staring, and it made her smirk a little. She herself never usually put too much thought into clothes, but Hijiri the Convent caretaker had set this outfit for her, and she had no reason to not wear it. The necklace too, it had been placed carefully on the clothes almost as if Hijiri knew.

She put the pot down, but didn't drink immediately, pausing to think for a moment. A lot had happened of the course of just the last couple hours. Her mind and heart were still reeling as she recounted some of what happened.]

So how was Kaito? I'm surprised he let you come at all. [She said with a hint of attempted humor as she always did. Regardless of how successful or appropriate it was.]

[ Mamoru's smile turns just a tad awkward at the question. Not like he blames Kiraki for putting it that way, blunt as it might be - it was pretty obvious that Kaito wasn't all that happy about finding her all tangled up with Mamoru like that. Honestly, even Mamoru is surprised that it went over that easy, so he's got nothing to say against it. ]

He'll still need more time to get used to it. [ That much is sure. Even Mamoru wasn't blind to the fact that Kaito still clearly wasn't fully content with the whole situation, but it's not like he could keep Kiraki waiting either. It's a delicate balance he's got to juggle between the two, but Mamoru wouldn't be Mamoru if he didn't directly take it upon his shoulders anyway, no matter how impossible it might be. ] But.. I think he understands it a little bit.

[ At least that Kiraki means a lot to Mamoru, and he wouldn't want to hurt Mamoru. It's a good first step to start working from.

Picking up his tea cup, Mamoru absent-mindedly blows on it a little bit before putting it to his lips and taking a sip. ]

Sorry that he was so blunt to you.. you know how he is. [ It's not like Kiraki hasn't known Kaito and Haruto too, and even knew about the way Kaito was after the whole incident with Haruto. So he doesn't have to elaborate - he's just glad that Kaito is already doing a whole lot better by this point. ] I'm sure he'll warm up to it more later on.

[Kiraki noticed his slight shift in expression. She picked up her tea to let him speak. Listening carefully to every word. She took a sip and pondered for a brief moment before speaking.]

I mean, I don't know if you should get your hopes up. He's never been too keen on me...

She put her tea cup down, giving him a small smile as she met his eyes.]

But, you seem confident, so I'll believe you. I know it's really important to you that we get along, especially now.

[a slight pink tinge entered her cheeks as she remembered exactly how Kaito had found them. Although it was probably for the best that they had stopped when they did, she was still just a little disappointed.]

But...I'm sure it was a shock. I hope he didn't give you too much of a hard hard time...

[ It's almost odd how strangely normal this is. Sure, the tea shop they're sitting in might just be a front for another part of Section 5, and neither of them might technically be a normal person anymore (as far as the rest of the world is concerned, they're "dead", after all).. it still seems so normal. Sitting in a tea shop with Kiraki, talking as if they're just normal people meeting up with each other, talking about a mutual friend.

It feels oddly comforting after having spent such a long period of time thinking that she was dead. It's something he thought he'd never get back anymore, the opportunity to just sit with her like this and calmly talk. ]

Don't worry about it.

[ Sure, things might still be a little hard and awkward, trying to balance Kaito and Kiraki, trying to make Kaito see that he doesn't have to be afraid he's losing his place in Mamoru's life now that she's there again too. Trying to see if Kaito will be able to put those feelings aside and actually get along with Kiraki - they're friends too, after all, right?

Besides, he doesn't want to think too heavily about the topic now. Not when they've only just been reunited. (Not when only a little while ago they were on the bed, so close-- Mamoru blushes a little at the thought.) ]

Instead.. right now, I'd like to talk about you instead.

[ Reaching out carefully across the table, his hand finds her own, gently grabbing it and holding it. ]

.. You're alright, aren't you? [ Kiraki, who killed because he was threatened. Kiraki, who thought she was being executed over it and didn't have anyone to talk to about it. Kiraki, who spent such a long time by herself in the kind of place that can be oddly lonely at times.

There's no way he can't worry about her - and his thumb brushes back and forth along her skin a little as he stares at her. ]

[She nods acknowledging his reassurance. She trusted that he would have told her if there was a real problem with Kaito. He just never dealt well with change. To such an extreme level that his perception of reality distorted around him.

All she wanted at that moment was for things to be normal. Just the two of them like it used to be. (With maybe a bit more intimacy thrown in here and there.)

She smiled a little, watching his thoughts pass over his face clear as day. He was always so expressive and honest. It was something about him that always helped put her at ease.

[But, she was surprised when he made a move after his statement. She blushed fully when his hands met hers. She didn't expect him to be so bold an affectionate in public. But that was Mamoru after all. He didn't care about what others thought when it came to someone he cared about.]

I...um...
She struggled to find her words for a moment, her fingers clenching up under his hand. She tried to focus on how nice his touch felt. Even of it was just a little, it helped her calm down to collect her thoughts.

[Once again she didn't want him to know that she had been suffering. But she also didn't want to lie to him. ]

I've been...well I...I've been getting along with my Messiah...Murase Umie. She's an extremely skilled hacker and a loyal and kind partner. She's here because...she was a first-generation Cybernetics experiment. And so, she has some...side effects. The connection between her organic brain and cybernetic brain isn't perfect so she's unable to speak. But, I've been learning sign language to understand her.

[She clenched her free hand, looking down at the table. She felt terrible about having even the slightest complaints about Umie. Kiraki had no rights with how much she had suffered. But it was hard, when because of that their relationship ended up feeling imbalanced at some points.]

She came here along with someone named Ariga. Maybe you know him?

[ He doesn't even mind waiting for a moment while she's thinking about how to put things. It's fine, even just sitting here with her quietly feels relaxing. It's like he can slowly take in her presence again, slowly fill the void she had left behind in once more. (Kiraki is oddly cute too when she blushes like that, he thinks, as much as he admires her tough side too.)

The story of her Messiah is more than he could have imagined though. And here he thought something like Ariga's background that he found out with some of Kaito's help was already strange enough, but it's nothing compared to this. Someone who can't even talk, whose brain was messed with like that? Mamoru - being Mamoru - of course instantly feels sorry for Umie despite not even knowing her. And sorry for Kiraki too, in a sense.. it can't be easy to deal with that, especially not when it's her Messiah, the one person she's supposed to rely on.

He only slowly answers by the time she asks him something, although he blinks a little in surprise. ]

Yeah. Kaito is my Messiah, but when we first started out, we were assigned temporary Messiah for our first missions. Ariga was mine. [ He never mentioned anything about a girl, though..

.. but then again, what did Ariga mention? It isn't too surprising that he didn't pipe up about that either. ]

He's not a bad guy, and his fighting skills are really impressive, but.. well, let's just say he's pretty closed off. [ Which is the complete opposite from someone as completely open and honest as Mamoru himself is. It's not too hard to see where the problem might have been.

But if she came along with him.. was she stuck in the same situation as Ariga? Especially if she was an experiment like that, and Ariga was practically raised to be a soldier.. it wouldn't be too different. Mamoru can't help but wonder if they've talked a whole lot since they got into Sakura and Botan instead.

Those thoughts vanish for a moment though when he looks across the table and sees Kiraki's face fall. ]

... does it trouble you?

Umm...

[She began. More guilt rising up in her throat like bile. But, this was Mamoru. He wouldn't judge her for having trouble despite the severity of her partner's situation. He would listen, he would try to help no matter what. She didn't want him to worry over her , but he'd only worry more if he knew that she was hiding things from him.]

Yeah, I got that impression from what Umie's told me but...That seems to be the reason they got along. According to her, she helped her out a lot when they were both in Dai San no Yami. She was sold to them as cargo, and Ariga was supposed to guard her. But, even with everything, he still had trouble seeing her as anything other than human.

[She paused. Trying not to avoid Mamoru's question too much longer.]

It's...hard. But, none of it is her fault. Even though, she keeps telling me that I can rely on her, tell her what's on my mind...I...I just can't.

[Her heart ached just thinking about how much Umie had gone through. The mere thought of even unintentionally adding to her suffering made Kiraki feel almost nauseous.

She took her other hand and covered Mamoru's holding his hand tightly between her own for no other reason than just to reassure herself of his presence. She just feels weak and pathetic despite however she should feel. But, perhaps Mamoru felt similarly. As much as he loved Kaito, the last thing he would ever want to do would be to in any way add to his friend's suffering.]

[ He does understand how hard it'd be. Although Mamoru would never dare to complain about it out loud or even to himself - since he's much more prone to just plainly running himself into the ground over it rather than realising just how much he's doing that to begin with - he gets that the situation is a little like it was with him and Kaito. How it still is with them, honestly, although a little less so. Kaito is his best friend and Mamoru cares for him so deeply, but since he's gone through so much already, he's never wanted to bother Kaito with his own problems in turn. Instead he just kept them to himself, bottling them up while convincing himself every morning that he could deal with it.

.. it wouldn't surprise him if Kiraki did something similar. When she cares for other people, she always cares very, very deeply. Mamoru knows it. The moment she knew about Haruto being bullied, she was already charging ahead to teach those bullies a lesson. No way she'd want to burden her Messiah then.

Even if Kiraki does need to talk about things. Honestly, Mamoru almost feels a little ashamed. She's having so much trouble with saying this much, putting emphasis on what Umie has gone through.. but Kiraki's gone through a lot too. More than him. She shouldn't be the one putting herself in the last place here. ]

It's alright. Don't blame yourself. [ His voice is steady, and he's hoping it's reassuring. ] I know it's hard.. So instead, if you ever need to let something out, you can tell me. I'll listen, no matter what it is.

[ With him she won't have to worry about it, right? Or so Mamoru thinks, anyway. He'll carry her burden too, if it'll help her look a little happier - that thought makes him squeeze back with his hand a little in return. ]

I mean, with everything with Kaito.. I sort of get it. [ So there's no way he'd judge her for saying any of this. ]

[She nods, her lips trembling a little bit as she tries to smile at him. She looks up at him. Meeting his warm gaze. She's still just filled with joy knowing that he is there.

Mamoru never spared a thought for himself, his own suffering not even an after thought. He had suffered incredibly too. She saw him, the months he thought she was dead. She'd leave Botan and find him sometimes in front of her old apartment, alone with no one to comfort him. He walked by the places they used to go to together. Her favorite park, his favorite cafe, the neighborhood where they used to live. All the while she was forced to watch at a distance like a ghost.]

Okay, since you do get it. Also know that I...I think the same about you. I worry that I'll burden you but--
[She shakes her head.] I know, that you won't...I want to be there for you too okay. [She scowls slightly.] I don't like feeling even the slightest bit weak I--
[Her thoughts were a mess and she didn't know what she wanted to say anymore. She took a calming breath, having to play over what Mamoru said in her head. He'd listen, no matter what it is.

It really was ridiculous. She was just suddenly getting so overwhelmed by emotions.

She let out a small giggle, and let herself smile brightly at him. Showing a little of how she felt inside. ]

If I ever hold back Mamoru it's not because I don't trust you, okay? Just remember that.

[ She's smiling so brightly. It's the first time he's really seen her smile like that today, ever since the moment of their reunion.. but it reminds him a lot of the old days. Kiraki's always been the type to smile brightly when he felt really happy, and it makes him feel like some of the burden is falling off his shoulder. She's still okay. All of that didn't break her to no point of return if she can still smile like that - which means Mamoru will still get chances to make her happy, as hard as it might end up being in their sort of situation at times. But it doesn't mean he isn't going to try.

Especially not when wanting to be strong is also very much like her, and he knows it. But it's exactly what makes him want to support her. So she can be that strong without having to run herself into the ground for it. ]

Alright. [ He nods, smiling. ] I'll remember.

[ Not that it means he won't try to make her talk whenever something bothers her all the same, but.. you know. That's how Mamoru works, he just can't leave people alone. ]

You're so strong, Kiraki.

[ For making it this far. For being able to smile like that, even after everything.

It's just-- he's so glad. ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject