mysteries | ic; god that was strange to see you again

[ Maybe Mamoru didn't expect Kaito to give in so easily. And while he knows that it's probably not just the end of it and Kaito will instantly like Kiraki and it'll all be okay.. it's already a huge step that the other is saying this much. That he's smiling. It's like the knot his stomach was trying to form itself into is already being undone, releasing a feeling of relief through his body.

It's hard to surpress a smile at the sense of relief and at seeing Kaito's own smile in turn. It's always been hard not to smile when the other did, especially considering some of the tough times they've gone through already up to this point. ]

.. I know. [ It sounds sincere, like he really does believe in Kaito. Because he does. Kaito might be a little misguided and easy to judge and he doesn't have much experience with these social things thanks to the way he isolated himself after Haruto's death.

But he tries, and it means the world to Mamoru. It brings a strange sense of pride to mind - Kaito might be his best friend, but honestly, it's almost more like a paternal sort of pride in nature. Mamoru's just so very proud of the way his best friend has grown ever since they both joined the Church.

His hands drop from the other's shoulders, trailing over Kaito's own hands for a moment before they're pulled back. ]

Thanks, Kaito. For looking out for me like that.. it means a lot to me.

[ Besides, Mamoru could use some people to watch his back, with how naive he can still be about things despite his age. Not like he realises that much consciously though. ]

You really are my Messiah, after all. [ Not that the title itself means much to Mamoru. They've been good friends ever since they were kids.. them being Messiah or not now, it doesn't change all that much about the bond that already existed between the two of them for so long. But he knows that using that word specifically for it might put Kaito's heart at ease a little bit more - and it's not like it's a lie, after all. He does share a bond with Kaito that he doesn't with anyone else. ]

[Kaito gave a nod. Not wanting to upset him further above all else.]

Yes.

[He said the word solidly. With confidence as he knew it was true. He was Mamoru's Messiah, and Mamoru was his. It was just a reminder that Mamoru wouldn't just throw him away so easily. Not that he needed some arbitrary title given by some organization to know that.]

Tsushima-san...She-- [He began, forming the words slowly despite the resistance in his heart.] There is a tea-shop down the road. Across from a flower shop and next to an abandoned office building. [His voice was still soft, hardly above a whisper. But, he couldn't selfishly hold back this information anymore.] That is where one of the secret entrances to The Convent is.

[He had to somehow convince himself. Triumph over the burning anxiety and worry. The worry that Mamoru would replace him and no longer need him. Because he felt like he did nothing but burden him. The voice in the back of his mind told him that someone like Mamoru had no need for someone as gloomy and useless as he.

And yet, Mamoru remained. He had never left his side no matter how difficult things might have gotten.]

[ For a moment surprise moves across his face. Kiraki, Botan, the Convent.. all that time they had been that close? All this time he thought that she had been dead, and she thought he had been dead, but they had actually been this close to each other all along.

It's not too great of a feeling, but he tries to swallow it down. There's no need to burden Kaito with anything more now, when he's already proud enough of the other for trying to handle this in a way that's already way above Kaito's usual behaviour.

So he tries to smile, even with a slightly pained edge to it. ]

Hm, got it. [ A small nod. ] I'll go find her now then, I'm sure she's still waiting..

[ And while this situation is just hard for anyone to suddenly handle, he's sure it can't be all that easy for Kiraki either to deal with all these new revelations all at once. He doesn't want to make her wait. ]

Do you want me to bring anything back with me for you later? [ If there's anything Mamoru is constantly occupied with, it's keeping everyone happy, even in these small ways. (And honestly, he's already more than glad he can ask that by now without having to also ask what Haruto wants, knowing fully well the other wasn't there at all.) ]

[A wave of guilt rose up and washed over him briefly. He probably had been lying to Mamoru all that time, but had some how managed to ignore it or justify it this whole time. Since Kiraki was "dead" Mamoru never mentioned her, so it had become easy for Kaito at least to ignore her existence entirely. It clearly hadn't been the same way for Mamoru.

He pouted ever so slightly and sat down on his bed.]

Just some...green tea cookies. Please.

[Kaito said rather softly, resigning himself to let Mamoru fulfill his promise. He had promised to find Kiraki after all.]

...Sorry again...for...for not telling you.

[ He's about ready to say goodbye and walk out, but then Kaito says that first again. Feeling a soft breath escape him again, Mamoru tries to put on the most gentle expression he can - something that's not too hard for him, really, it comes to him so naturally - to show he's not mad at the other. It's not like he hadn't suffered for a long time, but.. still. He's not going to blame Kaito. Not when the other tohught he was doing the right thing in his own way. ]

It's alright. [ And since that feels a little short for the topic, since he doesn't want to be dismissive-- ] Really, I mean it. Let's talk more later when I get back, okay? We can eat the cookies together then too.

[ And with that promise and a smile, he's already off so he won't have to let Kiraki wait too long. She said she might still be lingering around the Church, so he's looking around for a little bit before realising she must have left already.

Which means going to the exit and grabbing a bunch of clothes that don't look as odd as his Sakura coat on the way. It's still nothing too creative - a leather jacket with a black shirt, pants and boots - but enough that should do for going outside. It's not as if he pays much attention to what he looks like anyway, this is just about practicality and not leaving Kiraki hanging too long, waiting by herself.

He manages to find the tea shop thanks to Kaito's directions, already spotting her sitting there through the window. His pace quickens a little bit as he walks inside, politely bowing to the server in the back (it must be someone with Botan, considering how it's usually worked with their fronts for the Church and all, he thinks) before he turns towards Kiraki.

Even if it makes him stop for a moment. Despite the fact that they're not exactly normal people anymore, she's still sitting there in a fairly cute outfit, including the hair clips.. it leaves him staring for a moment, especially when his gaze falls from her face to spot the necklace she's wearing.

He gave that to her what feels like so long ago. They hadn't seen each other for maybe half a year, but it feels like a different lifetime - a different life, that only small things like those are memories of. ]

I'm here. [ He finally manages to force the words out. ] Sorry for being late.

[ A moment later Mamoru is already quickly moving to sit on the seat opposite to hers, like he's trying to not put emphasis on the fact that he was clearly gaping at her for a moment there but just.. well, sucks at covering it up. ]

[Being pulled gently from her thoughts, she turns to smile at him. Her free hand falling instinctively to play with the necklace she was wearing. Botan and Sakura had very similar clothes provided for casual wear. And it looked like the jackets they had on were just male and female versions of the same garment.]

Nah, you're not late at all. The tea might actually be at a drinkable temperature now.

[She took a hold of the tea pot, and began pouring the tea for both of them.
She noticed him staring, and it made her smirk a little. She herself never usually put too much thought into clothes, but Hijiri the Convent caretaker had set this outfit for her, and she had no reason to not wear it. The necklace too, it had been placed carefully on the clothes almost as if Hijiri knew.

She put the pot down, but didn't drink immediately, pausing to think for a moment. A lot had happened of the course of just the last couple hours. Her mind and heart were still reeling as she recounted some of what happened.]

So how was Kaito? I'm surprised he let you come at all. [She said with a hint of attempted humor as she always did. Regardless of how successful or appropriate it was.]

[ Mamoru's smile turns just a tad awkward at the question. Not like he blames Kiraki for putting it that way, blunt as it might be - it was pretty obvious that Kaito wasn't all that happy about finding her all tangled up with Mamoru like that. Honestly, even Mamoru is surprised that it went over that easy, so he's got nothing to say against it. ]

He'll still need more time to get used to it. [ That much is sure. Even Mamoru wasn't blind to the fact that Kaito still clearly wasn't fully content with the whole situation, but it's not like he could keep Kiraki waiting either. It's a delicate balance he's got to juggle between the two, but Mamoru wouldn't be Mamoru if he didn't directly take it upon his shoulders anyway, no matter how impossible it might be. ] But.. I think he understands it a little bit.

[ At least that Kiraki means a lot to Mamoru, and he wouldn't want to hurt Mamoru. It's a good first step to start working from.

Picking up his tea cup, Mamoru absent-mindedly blows on it a little bit before putting it to his lips and taking a sip. ]

Sorry that he was so blunt to you.. you know how he is. [ It's not like Kiraki hasn't known Kaito and Haruto too, and even knew about the way Kaito was after the whole incident with Haruto. So he doesn't have to elaborate - he's just glad that Kaito is already doing a whole lot better by this point. ] I'm sure he'll warm up to it more later on.

[Kiraki noticed his slight shift in expression. She picked up her tea to let him speak. Listening carefully to every word. She took a sip and pondered for a brief moment before speaking.]

I mean, I don't know if you should get your hopes up. He's never been too keen on me...

She put her tea cup down, giving him a small smile as she met his eyes.]

But, you seem confident, so I'll believe you. I know it's really important to you that we get along, especially now.

[a slight pink tinge entered her cheeks as she remembered exactly how Kaito had found them. Although it was probably for the best that they had stopped when they did, she was still just a little disappointed.]

But...I'm sure it was a shock. I hope he didn't give you too much of a hard hard time...

[ It's almost odd how strangely normal this is. Sure, the tea shop they're sitting in might just be a front for another part of Section 5, and neither of them might technically be a normal person anymore (as far as the rest of the world is concerned, they're "dead", after all).. it still seems so normal. Sitting in a tea shop with Kiraki, talking as if they're just normal people meeting up with each other, talking about a mutual friend.

It feels oddly comforting after having spent such a long period of time thinking that she was dead. It's something he thought he'd never get back anymore, the opportunity to just sit with her like this and calmly talk. ]

Don't worry about it.

[ Sure, things might still be a little hard and awkward, trying to balance Kaito and Kiraki, trying to make Kaito see that he doesn't have to be afraid he's losing his place in Mamoru's life now that she's there again too. Trying to see if Kaito will be able to put those feelings aside and actually get along with Kiraki - they're friends too, after all, right?

Besides, he doesn't want to think too heavily about the topic now. Not when they've only just been reunited. (Not when only a little while ago they were on the bed, so close-- Mamoru blushes a little at the thought.) ]

Instead.. right now, I'd like to talk about you instead.

[ Reaching out carefully across the table, his hand finds her own, gently grabbing it and holding it. ]

.. You're alright, aren't you? [ Kiraki, who killed because he was threatened. Kiraki, who thought she was being executed over it and didn't have anyone to talk to about it. Kiraki, who spent such a long time by herself in the kind of place that can be oddly lonely at times.

There's no way he can't worry about her - and his thumb brushes back and forth along her skin a little as he stares at her. ]

[She nods acknowledging his reassurance. She trusted that he would have told her if there was a real problem with Kaito. He just never dealt well with change. To such an extreme level that his perception of reality distorted around him.

All she wanted at that moment was for things to be normal. Just the two of them like it used to be. (With maybe a bit more intimacy thrown in here and there.)

She smiled a little, watching his thoughts pass over his face clear as day. He was always so expressive and honest. It was something about him that always helped put her at ease.

[But, she was surprised when he made a move after his statement. She blushed fully when his hands met hers. She didn't expect him to be so bold an affectionate in public. But that was Mamoru after all. He didn't care about what others thought when it came to someone he cared about.]

I...um...
She struggled to find her words for a moment, her fingers clenching up under his hand. She tried to focus on how nice his touch felt. Even of it was just a little, it helped her calm down to collect her thoughts.

[Once again she didn't want him to know that she had been suffering. But she also didn't want to lie to him. ]

I've been...well I...I've been getting along with my Messiah...Murase Umie. She's an extremely skilled hacker and a loyal and kind partner. She's here because...she was a first-generation Cybernetics experiment. And so, she has some...side effects. The connection between her organic brain and cybernetic brain isn't perfect so she's unable to speak. But, I've been learning sign language to understand her.

[She clenched her free hand, looking down at the table. She felt terrible about having even the slightest complaints about Umie. Kiraki had no rights with how much she had suffered. But it was hard, when because of that their relationship ended up feeling imbalanced at some points.]

She came here along with someone named Ariga. Maybe you know him?

[ He doesn't even mind waiting for a moment while she's thinking about how to put things. It's fine, even just sitting here with her quietly feels relaxing. It's like he can slowly take in her presence again, slowly fill the void she had left behind in once more. (Kiraki is oddly cute too when she blushes like that, he thinks, as much as he admires her tough side too.)

The story of her Messiah is more than he could have imagined though. And here he thought something like Ariga's background that he found out with some of Kaito's help was already strange enough, but it's nothing compared to this. Someone who can't even talk, whose brain was messed with like that? Mamoru - being Mamoru - of course instantly feels sorry for Umie despite not even knowing her. And sorry for Kiraki too, in a sense.. it can't be easy to deal with that, especially not when it's her Messiah, the one person she's supposed to rely on.

He only slowly answers by the time she asks him something, although he blinks a little in surprise. ]

Yeah. Kaito is my Messiah, but when we first started out, we were assigned temporary Messiah for our first missions. Ariga was mine. [ He never mentioned anything about a girl, though..

.. but then again, what did Ariga mention? It isn't too surprising that he didn't pipe up about that either. ]

He's not a bad guy, and his fighting skills are really impressive, but.. well, let's just say he's pretty closed off. [ Which is the complete opposite from someone as completely open and honest as Mamoru himself is. It's not too hard to see where the problem might have been.

But if she came along with him.. was she stuck in the same situation as Ariga? Especially if she was an experiment like that, and Ariga was practically raised to be a soldier.. it wouldn't be too different. Mamoru can't help but wonder if they've talked a whole lot since they got into Sakura and Botan instead.

Those thoughts vanish for a moment though when he looks across the table and sees Kiraki's face fall. ]

... does it trouble you?

Umm...

[She began. More guilt rising up in her throat like bile. But, this was Mamoru. He wouldn't judge her for having trouble despite the severity of her partner's situation. He would listen, he would try to help no matter what. She didn't want him to worry over her , but he'd only worry more if he knew that she was hiding things from him.]

Yeah, I got that impression from what Umie's told me but...That seems to be the reason they got along. According to her, she helped her out a lot when they were both in Dai San no Yami. She was sold to them as cargo, and Ariga was supposed to guard her. But, even with everything, he still had trouble seeing her as anything other than human.

[She paused. Trying not to avoid Mamoru's question too much longer.]

It's...hard. But, none of it is her fault. Even though, she keeps telling me that I can rely on her, tell her what's on my mind...I...I just can't.

[Her heart ached just thinking about how much Umie had gone through. The mere thought of even unintentionally adding to her suffering made Kiraki feel almost nauseous.

She took her other hand and covered Mamoru's holding his hand tightly between her own for no other reason than just to reassure herself of his presence. She just feels weak and pathetic despite however she should feel. But, perhaps Mamoru felt similarly. As much as he loved Kaito, the last thing he would ever want to do would be to in any way add to his friend's suffering.]

[ He does understand how hard it'd be. Although Mamoru would never dare to complain about it out loud or even to himself - since he's much more prone to just plainly running himself into the ground over it rather than realising just how much he's doing that to begin with - he gets that the situation is a little like it was with him and Kaito. How it still is with them, honestly, although a little less so. Kaito is his best friend and Mamoru cares for him so deeply, but since he's gone through so much already, he's never wanted to bother Kaito with his own problems in turn. Instead he just kept them to himself, bottling them up while convincing himself every morning that he could deal with it.

.. it wouldn't surprise him if Kiraki did something similar. When she cares for other people, she always cares very, very deeply. Mamoru knows it. The moment she knew about Haruto being bullied, she was already charging ahead to teach those bullies a lesson. No way she'd want to burden her Messiah then.

Even if Kiraki does need to talk about things. Honestly, Mamoru almost feels a little ashamed. She's having so much trouble with saying this much, putting emphasis on what Umie has gone through.. but Kiraki's gone through a lot too. More than him. She shouldn't be the one putting herself in the last place here. ]

It's alright. Don't blame yourself. [ His voice is steady, and he's hoping it's reassuring. ] I know it's hard.. So instead, if you ever need to let something out, you can tell me. I'll listen, no matter what it is.

[ With him she won't have to worry about it, right? Or so Mamoru thinks, anyway. He'll carry her burden too, if it'll help her look a little happier - that thought makes him squeeze back with his hand a little in return. ]

I mean, with everything with Kaito.. I sort of get it. [ So there's no way he'd judge her for saying any of this. ]

[She nods, her lips trembling a little bit as she tries to smile at him. She looks up at him. Meeting his warm gaze. She's still just filled with joy knowing that he is there.

Mamoru never spared a thought for himself, his own suffering not even an after thought. He had suffered incredibly too. She saw him, the months he thought she was dead. She'd leave Botan and find him sometimes in front of her old apartment, alone with no one to comfort him. He walked by the places they used to go to together. Her favorite park, his favorite cafe, the neighborhood where they used to live. All the while she was forced to watch at a distance like a ghost.]

Okay, since you do get it. Also know that I...I think the same about you. I worry that I'll burden you but--
[She shakes her head.] I know, that you won't...I want to be there for you too okay. [She scowls slightly.] I don't like feeling even the slightest bit weak I--
[Her thoughts were a mess and she didn't know what she wanted to say anymore. She took a calming breath, having to play over what Mamoru said in her head. He'd listen, no matter what it is.

It really was ridiculous. She was just suddenly getting so overwhelmed by emotions.

She let out a small giggle, and let herself smile brightly at him. Showing a little of how she felt inside. ]

If I ever hold back Mamoru it's not because I don't trust you, okay? Just remember that.

[ She's smiling so brightly. It's the first time he's really seen her smile like that today, ever since the moment of their reunion.. but it reminds him a lot of the old days. Kiraki's always been the type to smile brightly when he felt really happy, and it makes him feel like some of the burden is falling off his shoulder. She's still okay. All of that didn't break her to no point of return if she can still smile like that - which means Mamoru will still get chances to make her happy, as hard as it might end up being in their sort of situation at times. But it doesn't mean he isn't going to try.

Especially not when wanting to be strong is also very much like her, and he knows it. But it's exactly what makes him want to support her. So she can be that strong without having to run herself into the ground for it. ]

Alright. [ He nods, smiling. ] I'll remember.

[ Not that it means he won't try to make her talk whenever something bothers her all the same, but.. you know. That's how Mamoru works, he just can't leave people alone. ]

You're so strong, Kiraki.

[ For making it this far. For being able to smile like that, even after everything.

It's just-- he's so glad. ]

[She sighed and accepted his praise with a small smirk. Her eyes flicked down to her hands. She had regained some of her composure, so she let her right hand slide off on to the table. She instead moved her hand under his to entwine their fingers properly. Even this small contact sill makes her heart flutter a bit.]

If there's anything else you want to know, just shoot.

[Mamoru had always been so open, so trusting. He would always do his best to speak what was on his mind. (Even during the depth of Kaito's delusion, his face and expression told her how much he had been suffering even if he could not bear to say it out loud). Even so she knew there was things that he would still keep hidden. She also knew that he wouldn't even begin to think about himself until he thought those he cared about were completely taken care of first. ]

[ Anything else he wants to know.. well, where does he even really start? Even though it's only been about half a year or so since they were seperated, it feels like it's been a whole lot longer than that with everything that had been going on in the meantime, with the amount of times he constantly thought about her, when he missed the small interactions between them, like a habit falling out of his routine. It feels like they've been apart for so long, and he doesn't even know everything that's been happening with her ever since..

Then where he he supposed to start with asking things? For a moment he just stays quiet, instead enjoying the simple contact between them of her fingers tangled up with his own. ]

Well, I guess then I'd have to ask how you're doing with them so far.. [ But then his face shifts a little. Since it's like something heavy has dropped off his shoulders, Mamoru's actually able to act a little more like usually, a playful and slightly teasing expression forming on his face. ] But I know you. They probably have to stop you from kicking everyone's ass just a little too hard.

[ It's exaggerated, of course, but.. hey, it's true. He knows Kiraki is strong and tough, but he likes it about her. She's got spunk when it comes to doing the right thing and protecting the people important to her - it's not like he can even blame her for killing her father for his sake when he was such a bad person to begin with. He can understand it. ]

[She certainly doesn't mind his pause either. A small smile lingers on her face as she just looks at their joined hands.
She's a little embarrassed that Mamoru thinks of her that way, but she can't exactly deny it. Her first instinct is usually to punch a problem before trying to think through it or talk it out. She really just had no tolerance for any sort of injustice. ]

Yeah you're not wrong. It took a few missions for me to really get it in my head that being a spy means not attacking a target straight out at the first sign of danger. But, we work well together. There's Kiyomi, our sniper. Seems a bit standoffish at first, but she's really dedicated...Sakari is her messiah. She lived in Europe for almost half her life, can speak a bunch of languages and is really good at disguises and the like.

[It's been hard, but the missions go well and even despite the rules all four of them had become friends with one another. With how confident Mamoru was in her, she was able to see the strength that she had. She had always managed to get though even when her life fell about around her, even when she thought her only support was gone from the world. She had been able to survive without him, but now it felt like she could thrive. Even if he couldn't be constantly by her side like they both wished, he would still be there for her, and she would be there for him.]

And you guys are also getting along together? I've never heard of temporary Messiah or a switch like that. Was there something that happened? Like some big disagreements in the Messiah pairs?

[She wondered. Thinking that Kaito couldn't have dealt well with being separated from Mamoru at the beginning. Being told that he could only associate with one other complete stranger when his life-long best friend was there with him. She worried.]

Ah.. Honestly, I'm not too sure what they were thinking about when they did that either.

[ But Mamoru hadn't bothered to question it, hadn't gone against it. He knew there was nothing he could do about it anyway, and despite the fact that he knew Kaito wouldn't react to it well, he thought it'd be good for his friend to actually be able to try and get along with someone other than him now he finally got out of his isolation. And even though it had a rocky start.. well, in the end, it turned out okay, didn't it? ]

Ariga and I mostly got along fine though. I guess I got upset with him when they were suspicious of him and he didn't want to talk about his background even to me, but it got resolved pretty quickly. [ And with Mamoru being Mamoru.. he hadn't wanted to distrust the other anyway, he wanted to believe that Ariga was innocent and prove that - it's just that it was a little harder without the other wanting to open up. ]

Kaito, though.. Well, you know what he's like.

[ He figures it's probably part of the reason why she asked, aside from his personal business. She knows what Kaito is like, so Kiraki surely knows how he would have reacted to being seperated from Mamoru. ]

He tried asking if he could be Messiah with me instead, but they didn't want to take his requests into account. So he was assigned to Mamiya instead.. he's a pretty kind person, sort of the gentle kind. He's great at playing the violin too.. really, he doesn't belong in a place like this.

[ Mamoru's gaze drops to his cup of tea though as he thinks about the next part, still not letting go of her hand. ]

But Kaito was pretty aggressive towards him. He kept blaming Mamiya for things and got mad at him all the time. They managed to resolve it in the end, and they actually got along pretty well before the pairs got switched around, but.. it took some stuff to get there for them. It was a rough time.

I'm a little surprised honestly...

[She began, also looking down at their hands again.]

But...I suppose that means he's really recovering, huh? I'm glad. I was honestly really worried about him.

[She gave a small smile. Remembering what Kaito was like before she disappeared, it sent chills down her spine. Haruto's death had affected her greatly as it had occurred during one of her absences. She couldn't help but think, that if she had been there, she could have done something to save him. There was a point however when Kiraki just couldn't do it anymore. When indulging Kaito's delusion became too much and she had to stop coming over to eat with them. She figured that Kaito wouldn't miss her. But, Mamoru, he would still come over to her place occasionally. Perhaps when it became too much even for him.]

A violinist? Well, that actually kinda makes sense. Sakari is an artist too. Really beautiful painter. But, she still has skills that make her useful. I imagine this Mamiya is the same.

[Martial arts had once been just a hobby for her. Sure she had to kick the occasional ass(for Haruto's sake usually) But other than that, it was just a great way for her to channel some of her aggression. But, first she was a Narc, then she became a Spy.

She could just imagine how that all went. Mamoru was trusting to a fault. He trusted his superior's decision, he trusted his partner even when there were suspicions against him.]

Well, it seems like Mamiya and I might have something in common then...

[She said with a bitter laugh. But maybe that also meant that Kaito would warm up to her soon enough.(even if he hadn't the years she had known him. She could always hope.)]

[ He won't deny that much about Mamiya, at least. Sure, the contrast in fighting styles between him and Ariga is pretty big, but that's only to be considered when you think of Ariga's background. Hell, Mamoru's sure Ariga is a better fighter than him, and he's actually received training before too since he joined Section 4. But Mamiya saved them from some pretty nasty situations in a way only he could. Everyone's just pulling their weight in their own way with their special skills (although Mamoru would turn up silent if you'd ask him what his own contribution was supposed to be, honestly, other than trying his best).

But what hits him more is the rest of the words that come out of Kiraki's mouth. She was worried about Kaito, cared for him, even though the other's treatment of Kiraki had turned colder and colder until he just ignored her completely by the time he had become deluded enough. He didn't even mention her anymore after she "died". But even so, Kiraki still worried.. it's a lot like her, he thinks. She's always had a big heart. ]

Yeah, he's gotten a lot better. He's had to face a lot of new things ever since he's gotten out of that apartment again, but.. I think it's doing him a lot of good. I'm sure it'll mean he'll accept you sooner or later too.

[ Although it makes him think of something. The first days that Kiraki had stopped coming over, the times she had made it obvious that she didn't agree with just going along with Kaito's delusion. It's those moments that made Mamoru waver even more on his decision to go along with it, but in the end he had stuck with it.

But still.. ]

So.. I guess you were right. Maybe I should have done a little more to push him out there earlier. [ But he had been way too scared of pushing Kaito too far, of breaking him with the knowledge that everything wasn't as happy and perfect as Kaito had made it out to be all by himself. ]

Mamoru,

[She began, leaning towards him a little. ]

You did all that you possibly could for him. I was the coward back then. I ended up ditching you when it became too much for me.

[She looked down, putting her free hand to her forehead. She just couldn't pretend that Haruto was alive, nor for anyone's sake. It just hurt too much. Mamoru was so much stronger than her in that regard.]

Remembering their promise, she continued.]

I did what I could too though. I wasn't able to help Kaito...

Since he wouldn't even acknowledge my existence.

But, I was at least able to help you a little, right?

Until I "died" that is, and left you alone again.

She looked at him a little sheepishly, her grip on his hand having become tight again.]

It's fine, Kaito's doing fine now but...I mean I hope he warms up to me because well...I won't be able to keep this up with you, if he still disapproves.

[She said, her eyes falling to their hands once again. Kaito was too important to him. She couldn't risk putting a strain on their relationship, even if that meant giving him up.]

Don't say that.

[ His voice is a little more tight at that, a little more determined. He knows why she's saying what she's saying - it's not like she wants to leave him behind, but it's more just that she doesn't want to get inbetween everything. But Mamoru can't see this as a situation where he has to pick one or the other. Kaito suffered since he wasn't able to do more for him. Kiraki suffered since she did everything for him. He has to repay them both, and he wants to stay by both of their sides.. the idea of one of them having to abandon their bond with him for the sake of the other feels ridiculous. Unacceptable. He wouldn't be able to live with it, and his grip on her hands tightens a little bit. ]

Don't even think about it.. you won't have to be alone anymore now. I promised that I'd stay by your side as long as I'm alive, no matter what.

[ Even if the situation with Kaito might be awkward at the moment. Even if they're technically not allowed to be lovers. They'll somehow find ways around it - he wants to believe in that more than anything. ]

I'll make sure it turns out alright, so don't even think for a moment about putting yourself aside. Alright?

It's not like I want to leave you or anything...

[She said, stating the obvious. She gave a slight forced chuckle to try and hide the new surge of emotions that threatened to overcome her. Even so a genuine smile lingered on her lips.

At that moment, she started to become more aware of where they were and became a little embarrassed. Mamoru was many wonderful things, but he was also very single-minded when it came to those he cared about. And that resulted in him being oblivious to many things.]

[She pushed her hair behind her ear nervously again, not fully meeting his eyes.]

Hey, how about we...[She nodded towards the door.] Let's go take a walk, get some fresh air. I think there's a nice park nearby.

[She thought that even being this intimate with him so close to headquarters was probably a bad idea. Mamoru wasn't about to leave her alone now that she was back in his life, and she knew that. They just needed to work out the best way to handle this. Sneaking around, being dishonest wasn't that easy for either of them.]

I've already payed for everything here so... [She looked at him and smiled.] So how about it?

[ Mamoru had gotten so caught up in his own thoughts and his fretting about her that he didn't even realise this might not exactly be the best place to talk about that sort of stuff. It'd be easy for just about anyone to overhear them here, while that's the exact opposite of what they want.. Only Kiraki words make him realise as much, and it's exactly because of that realisation that his gaze drops a little, his cheeks faintly coloring in shame.

He's already being terrible about trying to keep it a secret now, and they've only just begun.. He sure must be looking incompetent as hell over here, huh. ]

Y.. yeah, let's go. [ The words come out a little awkwardly, but it's really all just from the realisation of his own stupidity, not because of her. He stands up from his seat so they can leave, and he shoots her a bashful smile. ]

I promised Kaito I'd pick something up on the way back anyway, so it'd be easier to walk around for a bit.

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