demonbound: <user name=devilism> (On and On)

[personal profile] demonbound 2016-08-28 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[There've been a number of nights when he'd slept in Agreas's bed before...so that in itself is nothing new. Of course...every time before now, when he'd opened his eyes...he'd been alone, and everything had gone back to way it always had before. Waking up now, Elijah's body feels like it's been through hell and back- like he might not be able to move again for a whole week. But somehow...in the best way possible. The obvious answer is one he knows already- because he's never been able to really satisfy himself when he'd gone through heat before. Not....until last night, of course. And that's because he isn't waking up alone this time.

Really, it's not even a surprise that he'd made a complete embarrassment of himself...he always feels somewhat humiliated whenever he goes through heat- it's impossible not to for him. But it's alright. It's alright because if there's anyone he's going to humiliate himself in front of, it's Agreas. And there's no question that he'd enjoyed every second of it too, no matter how much of a shock it feels like, and no matter how suddenly it'd happened. Maybe a part of it was instincts, but...

But even waking up now- even being jolted awake and having all of those memories flood back in an instant- Elijah doesn't regret it in the slightest. Even that thought in itself doesn't surprise him. But...his thoughts on Agreas in a situation like this- he's never been entirely clear on, has he? And when he sees the other sitting up, he knows that he can't just keep his thoughts completely to himself anymore.

It takes some effort, but he manages to prop himself up on one elbow- slowly reaching the other hand out to gently press his fingertips against Agreas's bare arm. They slide softly over his skin- trying to make it obvious that he's not upset- curling around it.]


What...?

[His voice comes out soft- mostly because he's still exhausted and he'd only just woken up. But it's partially on purpose too. Because it's obvious enough that Agreas seems distressed from the way he jolted out of bed, and the way he's burying his face in his hands. Elijah can venture a guess easily enough. It's not as if he's ever kept his opinions on alphas a secret from the other...Agreas is the one he's always turned to for help in the first place. Thinking about it now, there's no way Agreas wouldn't freak out in a situation like this.

But Elijah himself still sound remarkably calm. Because he is. The fact that he asked Agreas for help...that he confided in an alpha at all...and that he'd let an alpha see him at his most vulnerable time and time again...for Elijah, that's an incredible declaration of trust. Even asking another omega for help would've felt humiliating to him, let alone an alpha. Let alone someone who could take him at any given moment.

It's true that he'd told Agreas he trusted him to help, and that he trusted him not to do anything. But in doing so, he knew that no matter how hard the other guy tried to hold himself back, a day like this was inevitable. Elijah couldn't ever restrain himself, and he knew it wasn't easy for Agreas either, no matter how hard he fought against it. But...admitting that he could accept Agreas's help anyway...and that he could keep on returning for it again and again...it's as good as accepting Agreas into his life already anyway.

And now that he's lying here now- he knows he was right. He feels completely at peace with it...There's no one else who knows him like Agreas knows him. There's no one else who goes so far to help him...who respects him, despite what they both are...There's no one else he can trust the way he trusts Agreas. And...he knows for absolute certain now, there's no one else he'd rather spend the rest of his life with.

So Elijah very softly tugs on Agreas again- urging his friend to turn back around and face him. He doesn't say anything else just yet, but he knows exactly what he will when he can look Agreas in the eyes.]
demonbound: <user name=devilism> (Ghost)

[personal profile] demonbound 2016-08-29 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[Elijah doesn't need an apology, or an admittance of guilt, although it still gives him some extra reassurance to hear Agreas's words anyway. It's because those words are exactly why he can trust Agreas in the first place, and why he can give himself over to the other without any regret, or any anger.

Being able to see Agreas's face though, and hear him talk- it makes it obvious just how torn up he is. All of that together actually makes Elijah's mouth twist into a frown just a little bit. But it's not for any reason Agreas would probably assume right now...So before anything else, Elijah lets his hand slowly slide around the other's body towards his chest- gently tugging him closer once again.

It feels strangely natural to touch Agreas this way. Last night aside, there's a familiar sense to it...like he's done it all his life. And while Elijah himself may not always be very physically affectionate normally, Agreas has always been the one to carry him to safety before. Still...there's obviously something very different about this scenario right here...And yet, he doesn't have any reservations about it either.

Elijah doesn't want to keep Agreas waiting long, but it still takes him a few seconds to gather up the words- still speaking in his softer voice, and never breaking eye contact with the other.]


Do you think I didn't know the risks? Or that I never thought this might happen?

[He lets out a small breath, that might sound like a sigh, but it still doesn't sound exasperated. More like he's just taking a pause to try to hint at the meaning behind those words. And the next ones.]

Because I did. And I still called you for help anyway. Every. Single. Time.

[Ever since they'd known he was an omega, and Agreas was an alpha. It's the best way he can think of to explain himself, even if it might be leaving out some of the smaller details.

In his own way, this was Elijah's way of giving Agreas consent. More than that, it was one of the only ways he could think of to pick Agreas for himself too...He'd never even thought of going to another alpha, or another person for help at all. Agreas was the only one, and he always would've been the only one. Everything he's doing right now is trying to convey that thought- his words, his voice, his body language, his expression...all saying the same thing, in the end. "I choose you".]
demonbound: <user name=devilism> (Voodoo Doll)

[personal profile] demonbound 2016-08-31 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
[Elijah certainly doesn't mind anything about this...if he'd had any disdain about being mated to Agreas, he wouldn't bother keeping it hidden. In fact, he'd realized a long time ago that he wouldn't mind it, and nothing about the idea bothered him. It could've been as simple as that explanation- that he could tolerate it, and there was nothing more to it. Maybe it would've been easier that way too...or maybe not. But learning, and accepting the other implications behind those initial feelings of comfort- realizing it wasn't that simple-...doing that was a lot harder.

And of course he should've known Agreas would've asked him a question that shot straight to the heart of the matter. He's not surprised by it, no. But that won't make it any easier for him to know how to answer.

The short end of it...Elijah isn't good at this sort of thing.

It's true enough that he's painfully direct with...almost everything. But anything like this- anything that makes him feel vulnerable, or exposed... Unsurprisingly, it becomes much harder to speak his mind so plainly. Like all of his words dry up in his throat before they can even reach his mouth.

And this whole scenario here isn't quite so simple as Elijah just pining for Agreas on his own. It started out with the simple realization that Elijah couldn't get as close to another human being as he already was to Agreas. Not ever... plain and simple. And even if he'd wanted to try...it would take years, at the absolute least. From there...everything else started falling into place. To put it plainly- his attachment Agreas far outweighs his hate for alphas. Even to the point where he would've been completely willing to let Agreas take him, if he'd asked for it.

Elijah's eyes flicker down to Agreas's hand- the one that'd dropped away from his shoulder. It's almost funny how reserved he seems now, when he'd been so quick to press his hands all over Elijah the night before. But there's an instinctual pull there for him too...one that wants the soft touch against his shoulder to return again. He's always been the type to fight against his omega instincts after coming to resent them so much...except he's sure that this is something he would want- with or without the instincts attached.

He still doesn't move right away though...as much as he knows he owes Agreas an answer, it's not the sort of thing he can blurt out.

But when he looks back up to the other's eyes, and sees that spark of hope in them...it's enough to make him force out a small, but noticeable nod. As quiet as the gesture is, it still feels like it's made the world around them both go completely silent. A moment passes in that silence before he reaches down- letting all of his fingertips slide very, very softly underneath Agreas's hand...gliding over the other's palm, and then his fingers in turn. It's a gesture that's not forcing him to come back, but beckoning him to return instead.]


You are...my only exception.

[The only alpha he could never hate...the only one he could develop any sort of bond with...and the only person he'd ever let get this close to begin with.]
demonbound: <user name=devilism> (My Light)

[personal profile] demonbound 2016-09-14 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Even with Agreas reacting like that, Elijah can still tell he didn't quite drive home how much being an "exception" means to him. It's so much more than just Elijah saying "you're the only alpha I don't hate", it's his way of saying "you're the only alpha I could love". Not even just as an alpha...Agreas is the only person he has ever loved. But whatever strength there is to say those words so plainly...it feels like its thousands of miles away, and like he'd run out of breath and collapse if he actually tried to make it there.

He knew he wouldn't be able to do it well enough...even though reaching out to Agreas seemed to help anyway. But he's still left feeling angry at himself for not being able to convey even a fraction of what he's really been feeling. Realistically, he knows there's still time to say more, especially with what Agreas just said. But the thought of that makes his heart flutter with a surprising sense of anxiousness in his chest. How many times could he afford to get this wrong...? What if he leaves Agreas feeling like he's only "good enough", when that's not even remotely what Elijah's thinking?

Maybe it's something instinctual again...or maybe it's just that now, Agreas is finally holding him in his arms, and everything feels like it's finally right somehow...but as Elijah feels the other's heart racing against him, and feels those kisses against his shoulder, it seems like something inside of him is filling up, then breaking apart. It's not as simple as finally being able to satisfy the instinctive urges he's had before... Instead, it's like a dam has been broken, and everything inside is starting to flood out of him for the first time.

Right now...when Agreas seems to want to protect him with everything he has, Elijah feels more vulnerable than ever. Even more than when he'd woken up earlier. Even more than when he'd first found out he was an omega.

His arms slowly slide up Agreas's back- pressing tightly against him, and clenching his hands into half-fists. He buries his face down against the other's shoulder- knowing that it'd be hard to hide any vulnerability with how he feels right now, and knowing that it might be best not to hide it too.]


You are...You are.

[Not even "you WILL be". His voice is just barely a whisper, but still loud enough for Agreas to hear...and it's filled with more fragile emotion than any tone he's ever taken before.

He presses a small, surprisingly gentle kiss against Agreas's shoulder before squeezing his eyes shut- trying to block out everything except for that warm, comforting embrace around him. It's to mirror the kisses on his own shoulder...just in case the words don't get through again, maybe that still will.

Finally...he sucks in a breath before he manages to force the last few words out.]


I could never have been anyone else's.

[He buries his face down a little bit more, and lowers his voice again- like he doesn't want anyone to ever hear this aside from his alpha.]

I...was already yours.

[Even before last night.]
demonbound: <user name=devilism> (Dynamite)

[personal profile] demonbound 2016-11-16 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
[Everything back when Elijah had found out he was an omega feels so...muddled. His own feelings towards Agreas, even...like he always knew how he really felt, but he held everything in check for a long while. It's strange to think about the way things could've gone if Elijah hadn't been an omega. And somehow...a little sadder to think about how things could've gone if it'd kept going the way they had been. Maybe he would've found some way to confess everything eventually, but...that's neither here nor there. If this is the outcome, then everything before now is worth it.

It's so...so relieving to know that...at least for right now, when it really does matter, he can at least do this much. He can at least make Agreas smile like that...and laugh like that...and say that he's happy. It feels like something in his heart is melting at the sight of it- to the point where it's almost too much. Like he's looking directly into some radiant ray of light. He has to look away again for a moment...but only for a moment- closing his eyes as a very small smile forms on his own face.]


Good...

[His voice is so soft- just barely above a whisper. He almost seems a little shy...or embarrassed even when he looks back at the alpha, which is a rare enough thing for him already. And then even moreso as he tilts his head to press a very small, gentle kiss onto the other's lips.

It doesn't matter that he's the omega, and Agreas is the alpha...because this side of Agreas has always been for him instead of anyone else. And that's exactly one of the reasons Elijah could always put his trust in him. He leans his head down again...resting it against the other's shoulder- closing his eyes, and letting himself relax just a little now that Agreas seems happy...]


That's all I want...

[Just...this. Making Agreas happy. The two of them laying here together- like they were always meant to. At least, that's how it feels now that they are here. As if there wasn't any other possible way it could've gone.

It's almost funny...no matter how much he hated being an omega before, for the first time in his life...he's actually grateful for it. If this is the way things end up for the two of them, he can be happy...Now, he can be Agreas's for the rest of his life...and know that Agreas would be his too. There's no going back...and Elijah would never want to anyway. He's never felt so relieved about anything before...like a weight's been lifted off his shoulders.]
demonbound: <user name=devilism> (Six Feet Under)

[personal profile] demonbound 2016-11-27 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
[This is the first time he's really been fully willing to just...give in to his omega instincts and fully accept them. There was always a lot of resistance before...a lot of wondering if his instincts would make him do something he didn't actually want to do. But if there's anything Elijah can trust, it's that he wants Agreas...he wants to be his, and he's content to just give himself over to the other completely.

Even though it's still embarrassing to hear Agreas call him cute like that, Elijah doesn't even mind it all that much. Maybe because he knows all of this will just stay between the two of them...he doesn't have to worry about anyone other than his alpha seeing him like this. And he doesn't have to worry about anyone else laying a hand on him either.

The hand on his head feels so nice that he closes his eyes and leans into it a little- silently asking for a bit more of it. It's so, so comforting...]


Mmmm...

[It's just a soft mumble, but it's still him agreeing with the sentiment. In the same moment he buries his face against Agreas's neck- curling up against him a little more too.

Somehow, this is easier than he ever thought it'd be...just giving into his softer side a little. It's still impossible for someone like him to go into it full force, but...he still likes this. Admitting, even to himself, that he wants Agreas to hold him, to wrap around him protectively like that, to mark him up more...and even to show everyone else that he's his. The thought of it makes his chest feel so light that it feels like he's floating.

It's something he'd even be willing to do now. Just let Agreas carry him...let everyone know that, maybe he is an omega...but he's Agreas's omega. That's something he'd love for everyone on the street to see.]
Edited 2016-11-27 05:17 (UTC)