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Entry tags:
ic; you can move me if you want to
( let's say it's regular canon so before eiri shootings... please.. )
( let's say it's regular canon so before eiri shootings... please.. )
( let's say it's regular canon so before eiri shootings... please.. )
no subject
Honestly, that's what Haku figured too. Although he's generally a person who easily teases others, when he actually amps it up in an attempt to really annoy someone on purpose, he's unbearable. He's very well of this himself, as oblivious as he might act from time to time. And to Eiri Kaidou, his new Messiah since a week or two, Haku is definitely trying his best to be as annoying as possible. Most people would have tried to quit or switch partners by now, right? Argumentably it's not as easy in Sakura, but still...
It's just insurance for both their sides, really. If they don't get close, then maybe his jinx won't wear off on Eiri, then maybe this time his Messiah can actually stay alive, even when it sucks that you can't even have a close bond with the one person you're allowed to have a close bond with. But at least this way he won't have to be hurt again - he won't have to go through losing a Messiah after getting attached yet again.
So being an annoying prick it is. Good thing it comes so natural to him.
Good thing that he has the amazing ability to sleep through three alarm clocks, no matter how loud they're going off. Good thing that Messiah share a room so Eiri can hear it just as loudly as him.
And so, when said three loud alarm clocks are currently loudly going off in their room - probably buried somewhere under three layers of candy wrappers and juice boxes - all Haku does is turn around in his bed, still mostly asleep. ]
no subject
This daily routine, this cacophony of aural suffering that could drive even the most tolerant of saints to homicide. And Eiri is the closest to it.
Eiri is hardly a saint, or tolerant of stupidity and laziness and all-around pain-in-the-ass-itis.
So when that first alarm goes off, he's ready, toy gun in hand so he can pop up and shoot one of the pellet bullets into the stupid little target that will turn the damn thing off. Or at least make it snooze. Definitely make it snooze. Haku doesn't have enough willpower to actually wake up when he should, Eiri has learned this.
(Then again, how he can sleep through all this noise, and all this trash - it's even covering Haku's own bed, what the fuck?! - is a mystery to Eiri. Unless he's not human.
...Actually that would explain quite a few things. Bastard's too tall anyway.)
But when he shoots at the target - and Eiri is a damned good shot - it just hits the wall with a quiet thud. And he leans up to stare at the spot where said alarm clock should be. Only it's not. There's no sign of it.
Why this.]
Haku!
[...No, wait, try again, he didn't raise his voice nearly enough to be heard over the AIR RAID SIRENS THAT HAVE TAKEN UP RENT HERE.]
OI, HAKU!
[...Nope.
Dear God he's going to murder Haku. He'll murder him and then resuscitate him and murder him again. This shit is detrimental to his health. Everyone wonders why he's going batshit, but he has to deal with this every morning. They'd lose their minds, too.]
OI, HAKU, FIRE! THERE'S A FIRE! YOUR SWEETS ARE ALL GONE!
[Time to roll out of bed with a thud, now. Where the fuck are all these alarms hiding...]
no subject
He does wake up, at least. But despite what Eiri is yelling about, and despite all the noise, he just slowly opens his eyes, blinks, and slowly sits up in bed (making candy wrappers and juice boxes roll all over the place as they shift along with his body) to stare fairly blankly at Eiri. As if there's no fuss at all right now. ]
Eiri, what are you yelling about so early? [ And at the exact moment he speaks up, the alarm clocks seem to all instantly turn off at the same time from where they are buried. Almost as if on cue so that Haku's voice is actually audible, since he doesn't exactly have the shorter man's lung capacity.
But he still sounds so calm, as if he didn't pick up any sound from the alarms, and instead only heard Eiri's voice all this time - as if Eiri is the one inconveniencing him with his loudness. ]
I was trying to sleep...
[ He stretches a little and yawns like a lazy (and very tall) cat before turning around and looking to his pillow, where he finds a not actually empty precious juicebox. Only a moment later he already has it in his hand and is sipping on it, despite him only having been awake for half a minute and still sitting in bed in his pajamas. ]
no subject
But...maybe an alarm is under all this crap! Yes! He'll just shove all the trash off of the table and -
...No, if he does that, he'll just end up cleaning it up later. Because he knows Haku sure as hell won't. He is the literally the laziest and most useless lump of a human being Eiri has ever met. It's incredible.
But he needs to find at least one alarm. He won't give up! So he gingerly starts to pick through the empty juice boxes and discarded candy wrappers. He hasn't gotten very far, however, when he hears Haku's voice.
Finally.
Even if Haku is being is intolerable self, as usual, trying to act all innocent.]
BULLSHIT!
[And, since he has one of those empty juice boxes in hand, he immediately tosses it at Haku's head.]
There is no way you can sleep through all this noise, you're gonna wake people up in China -
[...WAIT A SECOND WHEN DID THEY ALL TURN OFF??]
Huh?!
no subject
Noise?
[ But even as he looks a little curious (it's almost as if he's being genuine.. or is he being genuine and didn't he hear the alarms, who knows..), he just snatches that juice box straight out of the air with his free hand. You aren't a Sakura member if you let a juice box thonk you straight on the head, you know.
Haku even takes a moment to look down at it, as if it's ensuring it's alright.. you can't do this to precious juice boxes, Eiri, were you raised in a barn!!
But then he at least does turn his attention back to the other guy. ]
The only thing here making noise is you. [ And a lot of it, at that. He sips from the non-empty juice box again. ] Suddenly hearing noise that's not actually there is pretty serious, you know. Do you want me to take you to see the doctor?
[ Maybe he might also be able to do something about that temper problem of yours, while they're at it. ]
no subject
So he just lets out a long-suffering sigh. A very loud one.
Until Haku starts talking again.]
OI! ARE YOU CALLING ME CRAZY?
[And he starts to pick up trash item after trash item to toss in rapid succession at Haku. Take that, you vertically-blessed alien!]
MAYBE I AM CRAZY! I HAVE YOU FOR A MESSIAH! AND I DON'T NEED A DOCTOR, I NEED A NEW MESSIAH!
[Temper problem what temper problem.]
no subject
Not like that's going to help him much right now though. Not now Eiri keeps yelling (and he already has a feeling that at this rate, Shuusuke or Souma - or both - are probably going to barge into the room to tell them there's other people trying to calmly wake up here as well) and now actually starts throwing his stuff at him. Excuse you, Eiri, even if they're empty now, those are still precious juice boxes and candy wrappers?! Every single one of those has a memory, you can't just throw them around like some sort of caveman on speed!!
So Haku realises he at least has to do something against this, even as he doesn't bother with trying to catch or dodge the items this time since there's just too many. ]
Eiri.
[ He says it calmly, but nope, the other still keeps yelling and throwing, Haku's voice probably doesn't even sound over all that yelling. ]
Eiri!
[ Even doing it louder seems to help very little, and with an airy sigh Haku pulls himself out of bed and onto his legs, sauntering over towards the other man even as he's still being used as target practice over here. Thankfully it's not like any of those things actually hurt, so he can make his way through it until he's right next to the other, planting his hands firmly down on the other's shoulders and looking down at him-- ]
EIRI!
[ If that doesn't stop the other, then so god help him. ]
no subject
Yes. He's got the power.
And who knows? If he keeps up this yelling day after day, maybe Haku will rethink his life choices and actually be an adult in other areas of life that don't include their missions.
Unlikely, of course, but Eiri can dream.
And so he doesn't hear the first two times Haku says his name. Or if he does, he ignores it because surely Haku will just come up with some stupid thing to say. Like his stupid "Naisu da!" and Eiri will just yell more. That's how this works. And he's about to toss another juice box, but then Haku's voice actually reaches him that third time and he freezes, the box slipping from his fingers.
Haku raised his voice.
Haku never yells at him, not like he yells at Haku.]
H-Haku...
1 / 2
Because obviously his passive attempts at exaggerating his own personality - being airy about absolutely everything, making fun of Eiri while pretending he doesn't know what he's doing, covering the whole room in his trash and belongings so it feels like his room rather than one he shares with someone else - don't do anything to keep Eiri at a distance. No matter what he does, no matter how annoying he tries to be, Eiri still never really quits, despite his yelling about how he will. Instead he keeps going after him to yell at him more, he keeps coming back every single time.
But to see him so shocked and stunned at just him yelling his name.. It would probably be the easiest way to get rid of him. If he continued yelling, if he was cruel.. would Eiri then truly leave? It would be the best for both of them. Haku wouldn't have to endure yet another loss (although surely they would assign him a new Messiah and it would happen all over again), and Eiri wouldn't have to die, just like every single other Messiah that's slept in this room before with him.
There's another thing he's realising though as he looks down at Eiri. Not just how easy it would be to try and get rid of him this way, but.. also that a part of him turns and twists at the very idea of losing him. It's a selfish feeling, considering Haku knows that he's the jinx, that keeping Eiri with him like this will only kill him off sooner or later, that it's completely and utterly inevitable. But even so, he can't shake it off. As much as he wants Eiri to be able to leave him and live, he also wants him to stay here and not leave him alone. Because somewhere along the road, in the middle of all his attempts to piss him off, he grew attached to the short guy who yelled like he was two heads taller than he really is. The guy who never gave up on him, the one who fell perfectly into step with him during every mission. The guy who never really truly seemed to lose his innocence - for as down-to-business as he was during missions and for how little he'd hesitate at shooting every single target they had if it was needed, trusting Haku's instructions, Eiri had never lost that certain childishness and innocence about himself outside of it. He's emotional and naive and even now stares at him with wide, surprised eyes--
Really like a child.
For just a brief moment his grip on the other's shoulders tightens, and the look on his face is - for once - rather hard to read instead of just his usual one that says he's about to tease Eiri to hell and back. ]
You...
no subject
.. are going to end up waking up everyone if you keep going like that. Don't make Shuusuke and Souma complain again during breakfast.
[ Haku even smiles perfectly like usually - annoyingly so, probably - and turns around with a shrug to saunter straight back to bed. What, just because you woke him up doesn't mean he can't catch like, maybe five more minutes of sleep or so. Totally valid. ]
no subject
Haku, however, is already back to normal. And for a second Eiri wonders if he had ever been not normal. No, there's no way he could have imagined Haku yelling at him like that. That kind of behavior would never cross his mind when it comes to Haku. Tall, way too chill, mostly quiet Haku. But then how is the other man already acting as he always does? Like it never even happened.
Eiri just watches for a few seconds. Apparently he doesn't know his Messiah as well as he thought he did.
...Why does that make his stomach try to tie itself in knots?
He shakes his head. He'll worry about that all later. Right now he still has a child to deal with. Just like every other morning. Just like Haku hasn't raised his voice at him.]
Haku...Haku, come on.
[But while Eiri usually raises his voice, he doesn't this time. Why? He can't quite say. Probably because when something goes badly for him, he tends to learn from such an experience and try a different approach. What Eiri knows now is he doesn't want to get yelled at again, not if he can avoid it.
So he just whines instead.
(What, we never said they were adults about this.)]
Hakuuuu. At this rate you won't hear them say anything at all because we'll miss breakfast. Lunch, too.
[Walking around the coffee table and wading through what feels like ankle-deep trash - fucking gross - Eiri approaches Haku's bed and reaches for the blanket, meaning to tear it off the bed.]
no subject
(It's why covers are so good and nice - if you want to hide something, it's so much easier to do it from the position of being half-buried under them.)
Besides, he really does not mind sleeping a little more. Haku has a more keen sense of responsibility than most people would guess, so it's not like he's really going to sleep here all day and miss everything, but just a little bit won't hurt anyone.
Anyone other than Eiri's need for everything to go his way though, apparently. How often has he already tried this? No matter what, he never gives up - mission after mission, and every single time inbetween Eiri whines at him every morning to get out of bed. Or to clean his messes. Or to eat better. Or whatever is on his mind.
Day after day. If there's ever been a stubborn person in this world, his name truly must be Eiri Kaidou. The one person who hasn't given up on him no matter what, no matter how hard he tries to accomplish just exactly that.
Eiri's words hardly matter, he hardly listens (he knows it's just some more whining asking him to get up already, anyway) and instead he just waits until Eiri's right next to his bed, reaching out towards it.
Never say Haku's reflexes aren't good. Not that Eiri's suck, quite the opposite, but he knows the other guy's a little more off guard outside of missions. Just enough for him to be able to do this.
Because the moment Eiri reaches out, a hand shoots out from the blanket pile, latching onto Eiri's wrist and pulling him forward, onto the bed. ]
Calm down, Eiri. Getting so worked up over small things is going to make your blood pressure soar.
[ Why he's doing this? To annoy Eiri further? Because a part of him might actually feel bad that his yelling was enough to actually make Eiri (of all people) get a little more quiet? Because the more he shoves the other away, the more he actually doesn't want to let go of him?
.. Who knows, huh. ]
Let's just lie here for a little bit more, nice and cozy.. [ Don't mind him tucking the other in under the blankets as he mumbles that, okay, this is totally normal. ]
no subject
At first, Eiri doesn't even know how to react. Because this is such an absurd situation in which to find oneself, so it takes a second for his mind to catch up.
But when it does...
He's made a terrible mistake. THIS IS WAY TOO HOMO, DUDE.]
Haku-!
[He fights against Haku's hold and twists and turns, his arms flailing as they struggle against the blanket wrapping him in an early grave. Even if he knows, logically, this won't kill him - he has a bad habit of living, you see - but it's too much and it's too close and why did he draw the shortest straw when it comes to Messiahs?!
And yet, somehow, Haku is successful in his tucking in and Eiri has no choice but to accept his fate as a grumpy burrito.
Okay, not completely, because he does kick his feet a few more times and stick out his lower lip in a pout. This isn't fair!]
Hakuuu...
I don't want to lie here, I'm already awake! I just want to get breakfast.
no subject
But it means he knew it was going to happen now, and it's why he just accepts it, managing to tuck in Eiri even with the struggle going on here. And he can notice Eiri is accepting it - not all the way, but just a little bit - with the way he goes a little more still under the blankets. Perfect. ]
We can grab it later. Or grab it from here, take your pick.
[ His bed is absolutely covered in juice boxes and candy, after all.. there's probably something left somewhere. As if Haku is going to sleep in a bed where he can't reach to put something sweet into his mouth first thing in the morning, gosh.
But for now he doesn't seem to bother with the candy himself despite telling Eiri to go ahead if he feels like it. No, instead Haku rolls over until he's lying flat on his stomach and scooted much closer to the other guy. Hell, a little bit further and he'd be lying on top of the other. But for now he seems content enough with just stretching out his arm so it's lying across the other guy's chest.
It's a lot less hard to get upset by the homo if you're as shameless as Haku, honestly.
Besides, it'd be a lot of fun to see Eiri flail over it, gaining back a little bit of his usual loud and flaily self rather than looking like a scared animal for a moment like he had just now, and--
Haku scoots over even a little more, burying his face practically in the crook of Eiri's neck.
-- and it's nice, and warm, and despite how he wishes it wasn't so, Eiri smells like familiarity. It's hardly different from needing a plushie or a security blanket in bed with you to be able to properly calm down rather than just on the outside superficially - in that sense, Haku's maybe never really properly grown up. Even now he needs something to cling to like that, even if he doesn't mention a word of it out loud. ]
Besides, it's comfortable. [ He continues, almost mumbled-- ] Naisu da..
no subject
Probably because Eiri doesn't get nearly enough sleep. He's learned since becoming Haku's partner to wait for those damned alarms to go off at any minute (even if they sound at the same time every day) and so the anxiety builds up and his ability to actually relax has become very slight.
He is kind of sleepy. And it's not like they have to actually be anywhere today, so...just a quick nap...
...Or Haku could make things worse and start cuddling.
Cuddling.]
No!
[That's unacceptable. Eiri resumes his attempts to break free of the blanket burrito, his arms scrambling to find the opening before he finally untucks himself and throws the blanket off of him so he can sit up.]
No, no, no! I'm not going to do it! I'm not going to become you, eating leftover candy that's been living here for...for...God knows how long!
[He needs to escape. He can't let that one moment of weakness get any worse.
So Eiri ends up falling off the bed - this is becoming a habit, this morning - and finds a box of candy that is someone only half-eaten. Which is disgusting, but can serve a purpose. He picks it up and turns back to the bed, pointing to Haku with the box.]
This isn't food. This is candy. If you keep eating nothing but this and drinking those juice boxes, you're going to rot out your teeth and clog up your arteries and die.
[Okay, so maybe that's a little drastic, but the point is, Haku's eating habits are just downright atrocious and if Eiri is going to be stuck with him, he might as well try and do a good deed.
Or something.]
no subject
Except instead of his bladder giving him a rude awakening as usually happens in that situation, it's instead Eiri slipping away, leaving him lying there a lot less soft and more cold. And just generally less comfortable. Rude, Eiri.
Then again, it's not like he really could have explained - either to himself or to Eiri - just why it was so comfortable for him to lie there like that with Eiri, so he doesn't mention anything. Instead he just keeps lying there, rolling over onto his side so he can look at the way Eiri is sitting there with the box.
.. and starts scolding him. On top of everything. It's a good thing that Haku can react so calmly to anything ever (or most things, anyway), really. ]
Is that really the biggest thing I should worry about?
[ Seriously. If there's anyone who knows just how bad the mortality rate is for members of Sakura, then it's Haku Mitsuni. He's seen how many people die, because he's seen them die over and over and over again. If he might as well die during a mission tomorrow, should he really then have to worry about the state of his teeth or body in the future?
It's not that he actively wants to die, not at all, but.. well, when you're sort of broken to begin with and you keep losing the people important to you every single time? You just start to get a little less worried about self-preservation than most people, that's all.
He even manages to say it in a casual way with a fitting expression as he looks at the other. ]
We spend all day dodging bullets, I think those are a little more dangerous than a few pieces of candy.
[ And demonstratively he's taking a piece out of the half-consumed box that Eiri's holding out to him, plopping it straight into his own mouth. ]