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ic; i knew you when our common goal was waiting for the world to end
( GET IN THE CAR LOSER WE'RE DOING THIS MEME )
( GET IN THE CAR LOSER WE'RE DOING THIS MEME )
( GET IN THE CAR LOSER WE'RE DOING THIS MEME )
( GET IN THE CAR LOSER WE'RE DOING THIS MEME )
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Unfortunately, it is, in fact, blowing up in his face. His face flushes hot, and it'd be easy to excuse it with acting like it's from anger. It isn't.]
Five girlfriends-?! What the fuck- Where did you get that?! I don't even have one girlfriend, moron! I've never had one!
[Are there even five girls in Haven who would be willing to date him? Fairly easy rhetorical question, that one.
He knows what he just said was embarrassing and lame as all get out, but now that the tsun competition is rolling, the only thing he can do to show that it isn't going to affect him is by plowing forward recklessly. He wishes there was some kind of goal ahead of him that he could barrel towards instead of racing through potential emotional tarpits, but what choice does he have?]
Just-- what the hell were you thinking I was doing anyway, ah?! I told you, I'm not some kind of fucking creepy weirdo like you think I am! I wouldn't- [Shit, no, even if he's this far in the tsun race, he has to stop somewhere, before he reveals just too much.] --goddamnit!
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And although Arakita is certainly no Amakusa (not even close, and that's a good thing), she can't help but instinctively say-- ]
My father always told me that all men are the same! [ Mostly because he could have known, he is like most other men.. ] S-so.. if you're thinking you can get anything weird by coming to bring me something like this, then put that out of your mind straight away..!
[ Or maybe some people don't just think in terms of gain, Ange, that's also possible... ]
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Hah?! You actually believe bullshit like that? You think I gave you that stupid can because I wanted you to fucking sleep with me or something?!
[A particular trait of Arakita is he's always saying what hasn't been said, and in pretty much the most direct, blunt form possible... when what isn't being said isn't about him or, god forbid, his feelings.
Mixing this in with a firey blaze of mutually assured tsun destruction, when everything is suddenly being revealed, is a recipe for disaster, and even he can see that.
Now there's no hiding with anger or frustration the way his cheeks burn ugly hot and red, he looks so fucking stupid, he is so fucking stupid, she's stupid, this is stupid, everything is stupid.]
What the hell, Ushiromiya. A can of peaches for that? Seriously? [More forcibly, from the grumble the rest of that was.] Like I'd pull a shitty move like that!
[And back to the half growl, half grumble.]
That's not why I gave you it, moron.
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But to be fair, she technically knows better than to think Arakita is like that as well for many reasons - but all rationality disappears the moment the tsun starts, so she's not really thinking too much of it. It's only when he repeatedly points out that it's a stupid idea that it gets through her mind that okay, maybe accusing him of that really was a stupid idea.
It doesn't change anything about the fact that the color of her cheeks matches the color of her hair though as she glances away from him with a frown, though. ]
Then why did you give me it?
[ She's not too sure if she should expect a straight answer or not, but it would sure make this whole situation a lot easier.
(Or a lot harder, actually, but it doesn't really feel yet like it could get harder at this point.) ]
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I already told you, it's 'cause you're looking too damn skinny! Just believe that already!
[But he knows that's not what she's asking for. She's asking for his intentions, his feelings behind it, and thinking about telling the actual truth behind those is enough for him to change his tone from "aggressive growl" to "attempted aside mutter".]
I... Forget it. It's stupid. [He's stupid for considering these feelings that could lead absolutely nowhere but trouble, and she'd think he's more stupid than he actually is if she heard them.] But I'm not tryin' for that, alright. Obviously.
[If- IF he was, theoretically, wanting something from her even remotely related to that area (what the fuck are romantic feelings, he doesn't know), he'd make that clear if the situation presented itself. Theoretically. He totally wouldn't dance around it, trying to get a read on her with second-long glances through an embarrassed, narrowed gaze, and fidgeting with his hands.
...It should really be obvious that he's never had a girlfriend.]
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In fact, Ange isn't even sure what to say back to that. The truth is that she thinks better of Arakita (when she's not reacting with tsun instinct, anyway) than to think he would just do something like that, yeah.
But saying that? No man, that's way too hard. Especially when she's already embarrassed on top of it, no need to make it worse. So her gaze wanders (to anything but him) for a moment, trying to settle on something to distract herself with. But.. well, there's only the can. Which is a stupid option, but it's better than nothing, so she manages to peel it open with her nails due to the shitty shape most of the cans around are in anyway, let alone cans shaken all around by Arakita as he tried to tsun-offer it to her, and after getting part of the cover off she shoves a peach into her mouth. It's a good excuse to not say anything in return right away, okay, shut up.
(It's pretty good, the peach. Especially to someone whose eating habits suck.)
Instead she just wordlessly holds out the can to him, as if she's telling him to take one as well. ]
Then don't make yourself look so stupid.
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It's for you, moron.
[That tiny bit of caring implied in that statement, however, is enough to make him fall back on tsun defense- quick, Arakita, cover it up before she reads too much into the meaning behind it. Making himself look stupid indeed. So he clicks his tongue, and swipes a peach from the can like a cat suddenly extending a paw to grab at a piece of string. He pops it into his mouth, chews, and crinkles his nose.]
Geh- too sweet.
[Not that it's objectively bad, but he's never liked sweet things all that much anyway.
...
...What the actual hell is he doing?
He's chewing on something way too sweet, avoiding being caught stealing glances and dancing around something that's obvious (to him, at least, as much as he hates to admit it) but unsaid. Theoretically nothing, he's in a situation where he's acting like a coward unwilling to look at himself and what he's doing here. There are walls, walls that have been holding him back (like, say, the inevitable and obvious rejection he's going to face, because it's him- of course), but since when did he let walls in front of him tell him what he was going to do when faced with a challenge?
Fuck it. He'll say it (something about it) and then deal with the consequences instead of floundering around it like an idiot 16 year old again.]
...Oi, Ushiromiya.
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It's why she's still just eating the peaches (in a way where she's trying to make it seem like she's not even!! enjoying!! it!! that much!!) after Arakita's swiped one from the can, only just shoving a peach into her mouth with her fingers when he speaks up again.
Ange glances in his direction as she slowly chews, raising an eyebrow. It's a little more unsure than she would like it to be. ]
Hm? [ That's a "what" with her mouth closed.. ]
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[--Is she really still chewing? Is he really going to say this when she's chewing and now staring at him like everything's casual and fine and nothing of interest is going on- has gone on?
He actually waits for her to stop eating, despite having basically shoved the stupid thing into her face just minutes before. And that's all he does- wait, silently, except for the slowly growing scowl that sneaks across his face, the frustration at which is 95% directly entirely at himself. The more he waits, the dumber he looks, the more the tight and agitated feeling in his chest grows. Where did all that fuck-all determination go? Lost because the girl he's avoiding confronting feelings over is chewing.]
I'm tryin' to say that I... Alright, it's really stupid but I'm gonna say- Shit, it's just that- you- God, will you fucking stop?!
[If he had an idea of how to go about saying this (he never did, he'll realize a while from now), it was lost to the wait and the frustration. But he knows he's lost it regardless and is left with nothing but... action, really.
you know what you should do again, arakita? say "fuck it". that worked well last time. completely. go on, do it.
At least he does wait until he sees her completely stop chewing, swallow and look at him before he lets out one half hiss, half strangled noise of pure internal tsundere combustion, and lurches his face suddenly forward across the small space between them to press his lips up against her closed ones in probably the most uncoordinated kiss he's ever given a girl before.
(...the only kiss he's given a girl before, and probably the last- less than half a second into it he realizes that, given how she reacted to the headpat, she's probably going to outright murder him for this. he's fucked up and now he's fucked.)
It'd help if he was thinking more instead of just acting on urge, but at least it's not as forceful as one would expect from him. If anything, it's more of a pushy "see, brain, I can do this" mash of lips rather than an aggressive kiss.
...Then again, once thought comes to his suddenly completely and utterly blank headspace, he's going to be regretting a lot more than the specifics of how he kissed her.]
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But easy reactions aren't allowed for Ange right now, apparently. Because surprise takes over for anything else when she spots him lunging at her like that, too late to move aside or even realise what he's doing before his lips are already on top of her own (on top of is the only description, really, even Ange with her complete lack of romantic experience would be hard-pressed to call this a kiss).
Not to mention that she's just sitting there, wide-eyed, letting it happen because she hardly even realises what is happening here. Arakita is kissing her. Sort of. Trying to kiss her. Arakita.
Then again.. sure, it's surprising since it's Arakita and he's always scowling and yelling, but.. on the other hand, it's not like it's a bad thing that it's him. He's been kind in his own way, he apparently is looking out for her with how often he stops by, with him randomly bringing her food like this.. he's not a bad guy, even if he's a little rough around the edges. Not like she isn't that way as well, anyway.
So she doesn't pull away. She doesn't protest, she doesn't get angry.
Instead she shifts a little. It's awkward on her part too, since she doesn't know how this is supposed to go at all half of the time, but at least thanks to her own lack of tsun rage going on here she's able to kiss him in return a little more naturally rather than just shoving her own lips against his in turn, not making any other sort of noise. ]
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That's really all he could be thankful for in the moment, because inevitably she's going to freak out again, yell, probably sock him in the face with that stupid can and press back into the kiss while not making a single noise.
...Wait. She isn't getting angry or yelling or even pulling away. She's sitting there, and maybe even pushing back a little.
Arakita briefly racks his racing mind for reasons for this- maybe she's scared he'll do something if she doesn't kiss back; It's not like she didn't freak out before and maybe now she's finally become scared of his face like despite never showing it before. Maybe she's making fun of him and this is going to be used as fodder against him. Maybe he's letting himself do some wishful thinking and he's actually kissing an unmoving wall and just making stuff up in his head.
The thought of her actually liking him back, or being at least willing to kiss him back, doesn't come to him just yet. It's him, so why would she. Every other option says that pulling away as soon as possible is his best bet, and so he does just as suddenly as he began the kiss, turning away to hopefully conceal some of the redness in his face. It doesn't work.]
You- Tch, I-I'm not tryin' for anything still, ok? I just-
[He didn't plan to talk (had nothing planned to say) and the fact that he is comes to a surprise to him as well. Having no idea what to say, he cuts the sentence off in a mumble and goes quiet.
A painful pause while obviously fixing his stare at a wall yields no better results. Fuck it. Fuck him. He's dumb.]
...I like you. That's all.
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She can't even believe what just happened. What is still happening. Because he kissed her, because he said he liked her.. Ange can't understand it at all. Sure, Amakusa tried to do those things, but he was just messing around with her and kept getting swift kicks to the nads for it - but Arakita isn't like Amakusa. Despite what she said about all men being the same, she knows that to be a fact. (Or maybe really, really desperately is hoping so.)
In the small pause between the two of them she touches her lips with some of her fingers, like she's trying to physically feel the sensation left behind there, trying to confirm this really just happened.
Her look aimed at him is half-shy, half-confused. ]
What kind of weird Haven thing is influencing you today..
[ It's half-mumbled, reluctant, because she doesn't want that to be the truth, but it's the most likely answer to all of this. Why would Arakita otherwise like her? Why would anyone? ]
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These things would be caught by him more obviously were it not for him falling back on familiar mechanisms to cover up pretty much every emotion he's feeling right now- screw everything, charge straight ahead, don't dance around or mince words.]
Nothing, idiot! I wouldn't say this shit if I didn't mean it, even if they forced me to! And I don't kiss people I don't like, obviously!
[See, saying it outright might be his modus operandi, but that doesn't mean he's left immune to embarrassment- especially once he actually finishes talking and actually looks at her. It leaves him actually quiet for once and he's left staring at her, bright red as she is (albeit with much more of an attempt at a scowl).
fuck, she's cute like this.]
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He's certainly not trying to be a prince charming, for one. All of this is very much like him - the slight awkwardness of it, the prickliness, him scowling and yelling at her like they didn't just awkwardly kiss only a minute ago. That's Arakita being himself, that's Arakita being very much genuine about all this.
About what he feels for her.
And it's weird, and she doesn't know how to deal with it since.. well, god, no one has even bothered to give her friendship back home, then how is she supposed to suddenly accept this level of affection that goes beyond even that? What does he even see in her?
But even as that all rushes through her head, she knows it doesn't matter. Because doesn't it make her glad to know - strangely relieved, too? Doesn't she like the way he reacts so easily to her provocations, the way he actually cares, the way he's so overly genuine in anything he does because he's just that much of an open book? ]
.. who's the idiot?
[ She still looks like she's blushing so hard you could fry an egg on her face, but her hand (hesitantly, but then more firmly) reaches out to grab the collar of his shirt, dragging him a little closer to her again. ]
Don't kiss people just to yell at them a moment later.. idiot.
[ But before he can give her a retort - or even yell at her again - she's pressing her lips to his instead. It's not as badly as he was doing it, it's an actual kiss rather than just shoving mouths together, but there's still something awkward and clumsy about it since it's not like Ange has that much more social experience than he does. ]
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Oh.
It's funny. Despite being kissed- actually kissed, the impossible's happened, he's being kissed by her, holy shit- the first thing that he's made painfully aware of is that Arakita has absolutely no idea what to do with his hands.
They're frozen in the position they were the moment she kissed him back: elbows bent in front of him, fingers splayed and tense, and twitching ever so slightly. What, does he cross his arms? Leave them there? Is it okay to touch her now without inducing another tsun firestorm?
They twitch and move up and down about an inch for a moment or two, somehow making him looks even more stupid in so short of a timeframe. A little too suddenly to be smooth (way too suddenly to be smooth), his hands rise up and place themselves on her shoulders. There, that'll keep them still, at least.
Hands taken care of (sort of), his attention snaps back to the only place it could go. This is probably the only time in his life he wishes he had taken advice from, say, Toudou, or Shinkai, or someone who's probably done this before. He realizes now that Ange made this an actual kiss, not the half-mash of lips he'd pushed onto her moments ago despite how clumsy her execution is, and he doesn't know how to return it well. It doesn't help that his head's running too hot to focus on what his lips are doing. He's not smooth, he's not the kind of guy that would know how to kiss well, and he's already fucked up a lot of this.
...But he'll try, dammit, because even if this is completely new territory for him he won't stay frozen like a coward. He doesn't relax (his heart's pounding to his ears and he's sure she can hear it, goddamnit) and his hands are pretty much glued to his shoulders at this point, but he tilts his head slightly and pushes more into the kiss... mostly on instinct to what he thinks will show that he's definitely returning it.
(She tastes like those too-sweet peaches, he realizes, but he really doesn't mind that now).]
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(It's awkward, and a little more like the two of them pushing and trying than anything natural, but she doesn't think it's bad. It doesn't feel bad.)
After what feels like ages but probably wasn't all that long, Ange slowly pulls back to be able to suck in a breath again. Out of sheer embarrassment (her face is still that red, yes, thanks) she tucks some hair behind her ear to try and distract herself, looking away from him.
What do you say after this sort of stuff? "Thanks for the kiss?" Oh, hell no. But she can't just say nothing, that'd be awkward too. So.. ]
I.. don't dislike you either.
[ ...
Except that came out entirely the wrong way, didn't it. God, why is she so bad at this whole words thing when it counts? She liked it more than that, but how can she even express that, especially when those words already slipped out of her mouth to begin with? God, she must look so weird right now. ]
1/2
When he does blink, however, it lasts for longer than expected, thanks to what she says.]
--You do?
[Or, "don't", but the meaning of it gets through, at least.
The expression he makes puts the "dumb" in "dumbfounded"- it's probably the most stricken he's looked since the last time someone (indirectly, and to a platonic degree, mind you) told him they liked him, and exactly the same thought came to him.
She likes... him?
...That's what that double negative, that tucking of her hair behind her ear (he has an impulse to want to do that to her himself, dammit, what a lame thought) means, right? It's a stupid question, he knows that after what just happened, but his reflexive shock stands. He was so focused on what to do that he didn't consider her feelings about it, idiotically enough, and now they're right in front of his big fat face.
(she likes him)]
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[She doesn't, because he gets it, and he doesn't want to, because every second that passes is another second that he's still obviously and painfully mortified and awkward and more nervous than he'd like to ever admit and even more happy than that. This time, when he's scratching at his head and looking away, it's to hide both his red cheeks and a dumb smile threatening to break across his face.
Mumbled, because his lips need to be occupied without showing that smile he knows will be ugly. Kissing again sounds like a better idea, he did like that..]
'm glad.
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But it's obvious enough. From the blush on his cheeks, from the way he speaks, from the way his lips twitch so faintly with very word that moves past them.
It's cute, and it's when she realises she's thinking that, that Ange bows her head a little again. It's a weird thing to think about someone like Arakita who's always snarling and screaming and being what most people would consider generally unpleasant (she's never minded, though). But she can't help it. This whole situation is weird to begin with, anyway.. it's so oddly normal. They're stuck in a place that threatens them with death pretty much every other week, yet they're sitting here blushing like they're normal teenagers at school.
At school she never had anything remotely close to this though. Does it really take being dumped into an unbelievable place like this to find this sort of thing?
It's hard to hold back a smile for her too, except Ange puts a little less effort into holding it back. So instead, slowly but surely, small and borderline shy giggles start to escape her lips, a smile spreading on her face.
It's so normal. She doesn't know if this is how normal people live, or how normal people feel, but it's so nice. She doesn't want to give it up, this light feeling bubbling up in her chest. ]
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[He's happy, happier than he's been in a long, long time here, but the instinctual reaction to her giggles, small as they may be, is that they're directed at him mockingly.
But then he actually looks at her face, and that anxiety fades away instantly. She's smiling, actually smiling about their mutual confession. If he was dumbstruck before, now he's completely fixated on watching her with that same red, befuddled expression.
(She's so cute, how the hell is a usual stiff-face like her so goddamn cute when she smiles.)
It's weird- even if they were sitting behind the gym after skipping class on a normal fall day, he'd still feel like he shouldn't be the one seeing this or hearing this from a cute girl. Or any girl, for that matter. Here, where even the inside of this dingy apartment is half destroyed in comparison to the world outside, it's just straight up bizarre that they're talking about liking each other... and feeling this happy about it.
He knows it's a stupid idea objectively, when everything could be overturned the very next day and who the hell knows what'll happen by next month, but goddamn if he doesn't feel actually and truly happy for the first time since arriving here.
After
admiringstaring at her for longer than he should, he finally regains some ability to speak.]...It's dumb, 'cause nothing's normal here and we could be sent back anytime, but are you-
[He can already feel how lame he's going to sound saying this, but damn him if he doesn't have any experience or knowledge on how to proceed after recognition of mutual Feelings.]
You're sayin' you want to be-- Tch, you know, together, right?
[Yep. Lame. But what else to call it when "dating" sounds so foreign and strange here?]
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Ange likes risks, sure, but these risks - the once that play with her heart rather than her body - are always the ones she's been the most afraid of taking. She could become happy, but the thought of getting even more unhappy threatens to seize her heart for a moment, tells her to get away from this situation now.
But she looks at his face, at how genuinely he's saying all of this, and.. well. She just knows she can't. She can't do that to him.
(She doesn't want to do it, anyway.) ]
.. are you sure you can handle that?
[ Considering how easily embarrassed he gets, she means - not like she isn't the same, anyway, so it's sort of a hypocritical tease.
But it's not a rejection. It's more of an acceptance, a "yes" than anything else. If it was a rejection, she'd be more direct about it, blunt as ever. ]
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Of course I can handle it! I'm used to usual stiff-faces like you-- It ain't a challenge.
[...But that's not the entire truth, is it. Dealing with a stone wall, yes, but romancing it instead, especially when it's not so stone-like when he's actually doing the romancing? No, not really, and he's not a liar that's going to claim he can.
(especially when he gets embarrassed that easily.)
There's more to this, so he's not going to end it there. Maybe she was teasing, but he'll get it entirely clear.]
And so what if you're some kinda "witch"? You've- You've never done anything stupid or tried to curse me with magic powers. I'm not going to start believe that you're evil because of some fairy-tale shit.
["I trust you. Completely."]
...Tch. I'm not some stupid prince, but I'll stick by you, even if [when] things get goddamn terrible.
[It's probably stupid, telling the girl with unfathomable powers (to him) that he'll protect her or anything lame like that, but... he wouldn't be content hanging in the background when push came to shove either.
(he'd make a pretty lame prince anyway)]
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She likes the idea of it. Not being alone when things get shitty. Having someone to rely on, even if she's already decided in her heart that she'll have to protect him when things do get that way. Not like she's all-powerful, but magic powers at least got to have something over a guy whose best talent is biking and making sure the neighbours from 3 blocks over can hear him.
But none of that matters - her cheeks are burning up, and she finally manages to calm her heart enough to speak. ]
Stop saying all those embarrassing things.
[ Don't stop, she means -- but for now, she's decided to take matters into her own hands. Since the easiest way to shut up him instead of letting him ramble on about all those embarrassing things is to trap his lips in a kiss once more. ]
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[He is, he is absolutely embarrassing in how transparent all the aggressiveness in his words clearly is to what he actually means and feels. For once, Arakita's tired is stopped, and by something so simple (and pleasing, he realizes) as being kissed.
Funny how kissing a teenage boy who is quite eager to do so to stop saying stupid shit suddenly directs his attention away from his stupid rambling and his stupid, embarrassing feelings. He's getting better at this- or more realistically, braver, since focusing on enjoying it rather than running through the 15 scenarios about how she hates it and how he should get the fuck out of here you idiot, you have no idea what you're doing. Her shoulders seemed to be a good place for his hands to be last time, so they return there with more certainty than before, and he's not hesitant in tilting his head and pressing back with firm pressure behind it. He knows it probably isn't good, but it does feel better. More like how he's told a kiss should feel.
Still, there's a bit of a problem in paradise and it's enough for him to reluctantly pull away for a moment, cheeks flushed and eyes immediately diverting.]
...Oi, these are in the way. [His hand plants itself on the arm rests in between their two chairs. They've been bumping into his stomach as he's been leaning over to kiss her, not to mention putting up sort of a barrier between them. You know what-- fuck barriers, it's his practical motto to overcome them. His eyes flick over (rather obviously) to the couch across the room.]
Your roommates ain't home, are they?
[It'll be harder to explain away sitting very close together on a couch instead of on separate chairs if they were to, say, be walked in on after frantically trying to make it look like they weren't just kissing as soon as they heard someone open the door, he means.
This explanation is probably not the intent imagined behind that question and that gesture towards the couch by anyone else seeing it.
Easy there, boy. Down. Stay. You're still pretty lame, don't forget it.]
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(Despite it being one of the most obvious things here, but that's just how Ange works - she always glances over the things that should be obvious.)
And so she glances from him to the space around them for a moment, looking a lot less cynical and more innocent in her expression with the way she's caught off guard by him breaking off the contact between their lips. It takes a moment for her brain to catch up to the rest of her. ]
Uh.. they're not. I think. [ Most of them are present enough to notice, anyway. You don't easily miss someone with enough blonde hair to practically be a male Rapunzel or a wolf walking around, right.. ]
Why..?
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