[ There are many uncertain things about this situation in general.
But this - this is also something Kazutake didn't see coming. He was the one that initiated the contact between them, pressing his skin to hers, feeling how cold her own forehead felt compared to his own. But it's Yukina who suddenly captures his lips with her own, and it leaves him staring in surprise for a moment.
He knows she isn't the type to do this. She's been denying her womanhood all this time - and he gets why, despite his insistence on the fact that she still is a woman - and she's generally been trying to figure out how to interact with all of them, having grown up by herself rather than the way they have as a group. She's always been direct, the type to speak her mind, but also the type to hold back when it came to displays of affections in the physical kind of way, let alone kisses.
And yet.. Kazutake can't deny that he's thought of it more than once. That Yukina would be an excellent bride to someone one day. Sure, she might not be traditionally feminine, but she is beautiful in her own way, and more importantly, she's mentally very strong, determined and hard-working. All things that mean a lot to him, and things he's come to respect about her even when Chitose and Kazuya were still childishly making fun of her for her lack of skill with a sword compared to their own.
Not that he had thought of claiming her as his own. Not ever. He was a clan head in debt, leader of a clan without a place to stay.. he couldn't think of finding a woman as his bride under those circumstances. He wouldn't want to force that upon any woman.
But despite that, despite the fact that this is the last time to be kissing or even thinking about it..
Kazutake leans into the kiss, kissing her in return, his eyes falling closed for a moment like she wished they had a moment ago, before he'd be able to witness her crying.
There's nothing he wants more than to wrap her up and protect her, to let nothing touch her, to keep her safe. He knows he can't in this condition, but there's got to be at least something he can do. For Yukina, who is obviously worried to death about him, but who is still brave and strong enough to not run away, not even when he tells her to. He can't just sit here and let her be taken by the enemy instead, who knows what they'd do to her since she's a woman. The worry makes him sigh a little into her mouth as his lips shift against her own.
He does realise they can't stay like this though.
Pulling his mouth away from hers just a little - so close that he's almost still speaking against her, with the added benefit of being able to speak softly in case the enemy is already getting that close - he speaks up again. ]
.. I will try to survive.
[ He doesn't say I will survive. He doesn't want to make a promise that hollow, but-- ]
If you summoned forth the courage to express yourself in such a way, then.. [ He lets out a small breath that almost sounds like a laugh, as weak as it is. ] .. well, it would be a shame upon my status as a clan head to do less than that.
[ His vision still blurry, he leans forward to press a kiss to her forehead instead.
Even if he'll have to fight in this terrible condition, he'll try his best. He'd fight off a hunderd of the enemies in this condition if it meant keeping her safe, but.. he knows she won't just take that. She won't let him fight by himself. That's what Yukina is like. ]
Therefore.. stay by my side. Do not lose. [ Because if it looks like she's about to be killed instead, then.. well, he can't make promises about not doing something stupid in that case. Those are exactly the moments he does stupid stuff to pull her out of the way. ]
Doing everything she could to push her entire self away from what her physical body defined her as, the idea of womanhood was as foreign a concept for her to grasp as if she'd never even witnessed it a day in her life.
(But, it's untrue. She witnesses it all the time, just instead as an outsider. Women in their delicate forms, to give everything that the men cannot.
And Yukina was sure she could give none of such things. It was one side or the other and more important than anything else was the survival of her clan and to uphold their honor and duty. That's all she was trained for.
That's all she knew. )
It's still all she knows. Because when he actually returns the kiss, Yukina feels herself fall into such uncertainty about what the proper course of action to such occurring is. She had done it without considering past her own actions and perhaps Kazutake thought she would be a fine bride to someone one day, But Yukina has never even been able to see any relationship past Yasehime. She couldn't fathom anyone looking at her in such a way—even Kazutake, no, especially Kazutake! Even though he insisted she was a woman whereas it was rather easy to forget amidst the childish teasing of Chitose and Kazuya, it did more than paint a picture for her. Kazutake's preoccupation with his clan's welfare, not just in the direct bloodline of the next head, made it difficult for her to imagine him marrying soon. But, when he did, she imagined it would have to be a perfect traditional woman—simply because everything Kazutake did was as close to the view of a perfect traditional man.
His desire to protect, his need to take the burden and provide the solution no matter the odds; and his inability to share the sense of defeat.
In her attempts to interact with the others, she'd been so caught up in simply trying to not act so obviously as an outsider even when they all did their best to include her that anything beyond making their efforts not be in vain due to her lack of social grace was forfeit. And now isn't the time, she knows. It's not long enough her to have to consider a next step, and feeling him respond in the way he does admittedly give her some small measure of ability to re suppress her fears.
His words—that slight but honest sound of a laugh—even moreso.
But, still, even his resolve, she is well aware his condition is not one he should be moving in, nevermind, fighting. She doesn't want him to fight at all, but he can't let her fight without him. There to be another way, something—
It's all so fast, and she's sure they haven't lost that much time to give the enemy such time to close in but her heart ices over when Kazutake is suddenly grabbed and pulled from her. Maybe she should be relieved he's merely grabbed rather than shot or stabbed, but her instinct is to not let them take him from her.
To act successfully is difficult, though, when she's grabbed to prevent her from managing to reach the other despite her physical protest. Her expression shifts as her attention changes from Kazutake to this enemy—not humans; rogue demons. She will still never understand the allure and even moreso their willingness to kill their own kind. That was a human trait, a human affair that should have stayed such and although she is and has tried to understand these things for the sake of the others with them all taking various sides, she—
They won't even think of piercing my heart.
In Kazutake's condition, like this they wouldn't... not to a clan head. Not even with only a shred of their demon heritage left in them would they stoop so low...
There is a small amount of doubt, though, to have her speaking before she can even fully comprehend what she's saying or doing. And the one holding her better not even stray a second if they planned on keeping her restrained for long. ]
Don't touch him!
[ Isn't it enough? ]
{ I couldn't really decide where to go from here after some hours of debate, so if you have an idea to further this or change the situation, I'll happily pick up from the direction you take it in, however big or small it is, sorry ;;-;; }
[ He's too weak to even resist the sudden feeling of the rogue demons tugging on him. It's pathetic, especially considering that his physical strength is literally his weapon most of the time. But he's too hurt and wounded to muster up the energy to even be strong enough to shake off the grip - all he can do is surrender to it and hope that they won't pierce his heart that easily.
But what's worse about all this is that even through the haze that being moved that quickly is turning his eyesight into, he can see they're grabbing Yukina as well. They're holding her back, even as she's struggling against it, even as she's trying to reach him. Even though she's a woman, even though she should be left out of all of this in the first place if these things even have a single shred of pride left inside of them.
He can't allow them to do this to her, let alone harm there. Yukina was right - he can't die here. He owes too much to his clan, he owes too much to his friends.
He owes too much to her, too, now.
But Kazutake knows he can't do a thing. If he can't even move, then how is he supposed to do anything about their enemies? How is he supposed to save her? But if the goal here is for both of them to survive, then.. even if it's against everything he believes in..
Yukina has the same potential as all of them, he's sure. Even though he knows she's never accessed it before (if not from talks with her, then with the elders), she can access her full potential too with a little shove, she should also be able to use her full powers and form as a demon. All she needs is that shove, and maybe all he can do right now is provide just that.
And transferring life energy is so easy when he already feels so close to the line that seperates life from death. He'll have to be careful to not give her all of his spirit or it'll all be for naught anyway, but control has always been one of the things Kazutake excels at.
His eyes fall shut as he tries to ignore the jeers of the rogue demons around them. Instead he focuses on his breathing, on the life he can still feel swirling around inside of it, and he tries to transfer some of it to Yukina the best she can, so she may be able to switch forms and change the odds.
And along with the warm energy, it's almost as if a message comes too - even if Kazutake doesn't say it out loud.
Yukina, fight.
She is a woman, and he'll forever insist on that, but.. she is also the strongest woman he has ever known. And if he had to put his faith into any woman like that.. it would be her. ]
no subject
But this - this is also something Kazutake didn't see coming. He was the one that initiated the contact between them, pressing his skin to hers, feeling how cold her own forehead felt compared to his own. But it's Yukina who suddenly captures his lips with her own, and it leaves him staring in surprise for a moment.
He knows she isn't the type to do this. She's been denying her womanhood all this time - and he gets why, despite his insistence on the fact that she still is a woman - and she's generally been trying to figure out how to interact with all of them, having grown up by herself rather than the way they have as a group. She's always been direct, the type to speak her mind, but also the type to hold back when it came to displays of affections in the physical kind of way, let alone kisses.
And yet.. Kazutake can't deny that he's thought of it more than once. That Yukina would be an excellent bride to someone one day. Sure, she might not be traditionally feminine, but she is beautiful in her own way, and more importantly, she's mentally very strong, determined and hard-working. All things that mean a lot to him, and things he's come to respect about her even when Chitose and Kazuya were still childishly making fun of her for her lack of skill with a sword compared to their own.
Not that he had thought of claiming her as his own. Not ever. He was a clan head in debt, leader of a clan without a place to stay.. he couldn't think of finding a woman as his bride under those circumstances. He wouldn't want to force that upon any woman.
But despite that, despite the fact that this is the last time to be kissing or even thinking about it..
Kazutake leans into the kiss, kissing her in return, his eyes falling closed for a moment like she wished they had a moment ago, before he'd be able to witness her crying.
There's nothing he wants more than to wrap her up and protect her, to let nothing touch her, to keep her safe. He knows he can't in this condition, but there's got to be at least something he can do. For Yukina, who is obviously worried to death about him, but who is still brave and strong enough to not run away, not even when he tells her to. He can't just sit here and let her be taken by the enemy instead, who knows what they'd do to her since she's a woman. The worry makes him sigh a little into her mouth as his lips shift against her own.
He does realise they can't stay like this though.
Pulling his mouth away from hers just a little - so close that he's almost still speaking against her, with the added benefit of being able to speak softly in case the enemy is already getting that close - he speaks up again. ]
.. I will try to survive.
[ He doesn't say I will survive. He doesn't want to make a promise that hollow, but-- ]
If you summoned forth the courage to express yourself in such a way, then.. [ He lets out a small breath that almost sounds like a laugh, as weak as it is. ] .. well, it would be a shame upon my status as a clan head to do less than that.
[ His vision still blurry, he leans forward to press a kiss to her forehead instead.
Even if he'll have to fight in this terrible condition, he'll try his best. He'd fight off a hunderd of the enemies in this condition if it meant keeping her safe, but.. he knows she won't just take that. She won't let him fight by himself. That's what Yukina is like. ]
Therefore.. stay by my side. Do not lose. [ Because if it looks like she's about to be killed instead, then.. well, he can't make promises about not doing something stupid in that case. Those are exactly the moments he does stupid stuff to pull her out of the way. ]
no subject
Doing everything she could to push her entire self away from what her physical body defined her as, the idea of womanhood was as foreign a concept for her to grasp as if she'd never even witnessed it a day in her life.
(But, it's untrue. She witnesses it all the time, just instead as an outsider. Women in their delicate forms, to give everything that the men cannot.
And Yukina was sure she could give none of such things. It was one side or the other and more important than anything else was the survival of her clan and to uphold their honor and duty. That's all she was trained for.
That's all she knew. )
It's still all she knows. Because when he actually returns the kiss, Yukina feels herself fall into such uncertainty about what the proper course of action to such occurring is. She had done it without considering past her own actions and perhaps Kazutake thought she would be a fine bride to someone one day, But Yukina has never even been able to see any relationship past Yasehime. She couldn't fathom anyone looking at her in such a way—even Kazutake, no, especially Kazutake! Even though he insisted she was a woman whereas it was rather easy to forget amidst the childish teasing of Chitose and Kazuya, it did more than paint a picture for her. Kazutake's preoccupation with his clan's welfare, not just in the direct bloodline of the next head, made it difficult for her to imagine him marrying soon. But, when he did, she imagined it would have to be a perfect traditional woman—simply because everything Kazutake did was as close to the view of a perfect traditional man.
His desire to protect, his need to take the burden and provide the solution no matter the odds; and his inability to share the sense of defeat.
In her attempts to interact with the others, she'd been so caught up in simply trying to not act so obviously as an outsider even when they all did their best to include her that anything beyond making their efforts not be in vain due to her lack of social grace was forfeit. And now isn't the time, she knows. It's not long enough her to have to consider a next step, and feeling him respond in the way he does admittedly give her some small measure of ability to re suppress her fears.
His words—that slight but honest sound of a laugh—even moreso.
But, still, even his resolve, she is well aware his condition is not one he should be moving in, nevermind, fighting. She doesn't want him to fight at all, but he can't let her fight without him. There to be another way, something—
It's all so fast, and she's sure they haven't lost that much time to give the enemy such time to close in but her heart ices over when Kazutake is suddenly grabbed and pulled from her. Maybe she should be relieved he's merely grabbed rather than shot or stabbed, but her instinct is to not let them take him from her.
To act successfully is difficult, though, when she's grabbed to prevent her from managing to reach the other despite her physical protest. Her expression shifts as her attention changes from Kazutake to this enemy—not humans; rogue demons. She will still never understand the allure and even moreso their willingness to kill their own kind. That was a human trait, a human affair that should have stayed such and although she is and has tried to understand these things for the sake of the others with them all taking various sides, she—
They won't even think of piercing my heart.
In Kazutake's condition, like this they wouldn't... not to a clan head. Not even with only a shred of their demon heritage left in them would they stoop so low...
There is a small amount of doubt, though, to have her speaking before she can even fully comprehend what she's saying or doing. And the one holding her better not even stray a second if they planned on keeping her restrained for long. ]
Don't touch him!
[ Isn't it enough? ]
{ I couldn't really decide where to go from here after some hours of debate, so if you have an idea to further this or change the situation, I'll happily pick up from the direction you take it in, however big or small it is, sorry ;;-;; }
no subject
But what's worse about all this is that even through the haze that being moved that quickly is turning his eyesight into, he can see they're grabbing Yukina as well. They're holding her back, even as she's struggling against it, even as she's trying to reach him. Even though she's a woman, even though she should be left out of all of this in the first place if these things even have a single shred of pride left inside of them.
He can't allow them to do this to her, let alone harm there. Yukina was right - he can't die here. He owes too much to his clan, he owes too much to his friends.
He owes too much to her, too, now.
But Kazutake knows he can't do a thing. If he can't even move, then how is he supposed to do anything about their enemies? How is he supposed to save her? But if the goal here is for both of them to survive, then.. even if it's against everything he believes in..
Yukina has the same potential as all of them, he's sure. Even though he knows she's never accessed it before (if not from talks with her, then with the elders), she can access her full potential too with a little shove, she should also be able to use her full powers and form as a demon. All she needs is that shove, and maybe all he can do right now is provide just that.
And transferring life energy is so easy when he already feels so close to the line that seperates life from death. He'll have to be careful to not give her all of his spirit or it'll all be for naught anyway, but control has always been one of the things Kazutake excels at.
His eyes fall shut as he tries to ignore the jeers of the rogue demons around them. Instead he focuses on his breathing, on the life he can still feel swirling around inside of it, and he tries to transfer some of it to Yukina the best she can, so she may be able to switch forms and change the odds.
And along with the warm energy, it's almost as if a message comes too - even if Kazutake doesn't say it out loud.
Yukina, fight.
She is a woman, and he'll forever insist on that, but.. she is also the strongest woman he has ever known. And if he had to put his faith into any woman like that.. it would be her. ]