[Minhwan's questions- whether they're meant to be addressed to him or not- still hang in the air...and...surprisingly enough, dig up some feelings of fear that'd been buried down in his heart.
There've already been people in his life who were...at least, on paper...supposed to care if something happened to him...but didn't.
With Minhwan...the question's never come up before- there hasn't been a situation that's put Sejoon at risk at all since they've been together. But somewhat unconsciously, he'd been bracing himself for the fact that...there's a good chance Minhwan probably wouldn't care much about him. He already knows...how apathetic Minhwan can be about things most people would care about. It always...always comes back to apathy...and Sejoon can't even stand that word.
It's a strange realization to have...considering how much this guy drives him nuts usually. Why should it bother him, if Minhwan didn't end up caring...? It's already obvious enough that Minhwan doesn't handle emotions the same way most people do...Is it naive of him to think Minhwan might feel different for his own boyfriend...?
...Maybe it hurts because...Sejoon knows he can't help but care. It's why he's here, isn't it...? He would have brought any other classmate to the infirmary, but...the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes he wouldn't have worried this much. Or stayed this long. No matter what kind of guy Minhwan is, against all odds...he's still one of the very few people Sejoon's chosen to let in, and get a little bit closer. To bring him into a more intimate part of Sejoon's life, and to show sides of himself he never has before. Not to anyone else.
And it's hard- to know that he cares, even that much, and think again about how it might be unrequited.
But...maybe...just, maybe...from the way Minhwan's acting? Maybe he really doesn't have to worry about it all much. Sejoon only hopes that isn't just wishful thinking on his part. For now, he closes his eyes and soaks in the feeling of the other boy softly touching his lips...realizing that it feels strangely soothing.]
I'd like to find that out too, someday...
[He speaks in a slow, hushed tone- letting his lips move gently against the fingertips pressing against them.
The question itself still- would Minhwan worry?- brings out a sense of vulnerability in Sejoon...but more importantly, there's hopefulness now too. And he finds himself...very grateful that Minhwan had asked something like that on his own too.]
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There've already been people in his life who were...at least, on paper...supposed to care if something happened to him...but didn't.
With Minhwan...the question's never come up before- there hasn't been a situation that's put Sejoon at risk at all since they've been together. But somewhat unconsciously, he'd been bracing himself for the fact that...there's a good chance Minhwan probably wouldn't care much about him. He already knows...how apathetic Minhwan can be about things most people would care about. It always...always comes back to apathy...and Sejoon can't even stand that word.
It's a strange realization to have...considering how much this guy drives him nuts usually. Why should it bother him, if Minhwan didn't end up caring...? It's already obvious enough that Minhwan doesn't handle emotions the same way most people do...Is it naive of him to think Minhwan might feel different for his own boyfriend...?
...Maybe it hurts because...Sejoon knows he can't help but care. It's why he's here, isn't it...? He would have brought any other classmate to the infirmary, but...the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes he wouldn't have worried this much. Or stayed this long. No matter what kind of guy Minhwan is, against all odds...he's still one of the very few people Sejoon's chosen to let in, and get a little bit closer. To bring him into a more intimate part of Sejoon's life, and to show sides of himself he never has before. Not to anyone else.
And it's hard- to know that he cares, even that much, and think again about how it might be unrequited.
But...maybe...just, maybe...from the way Minhwan's acting? Maybe he really doesn't have to worry about it all much. Sejoon only hopes that isn't just wishful thinking on his part. For now, he closes his eyes and soaks in the feeling of the other boy softly touching his lips...realizing that it feels strangely soothing.]
I'd like to find that out too, someday...
[He speaks in a slow, hushed tone- letting his lips move gently against the fingertips pressing against them.
The question itself still- would Minhwan worry?- brings out a sense of vulnerability in Sejoon...but more importantly, there's hopefulness now too. And he finds himself...very grateful that Minhwan had asked something like that on his own too.]