mysteries | ic; a guy like me can't hold onto or let go of you

[ Although it seems he was already halfway through climbing out of her bed, he stops the moment he turns enough in his movements to be able to see her expression again - leaving him sitting on his knees on the bed, staring down at her.

It's impossible to miss that expression on her face, and it brings a small frown on his own face as he realises he has zero idea of how to deal with this. He doesn't want to hurt her, so he tried to leave, but.. that's no good either? Then what does he do? ]

It's not like I did anything weird to you while we slept. [ He woke up more flustered than her to begin with, after all. ] But you know that too, so.. why are you looking like that?

[ Although it takes effort because of his own awkwardness and embarrassment kicking in, he tries his best to not break eye contact with her. ]

Aren't you a weird blunt girl when you figure something out? [ In other words-- if there's anything she wants him to do, she should just say it, because some part of his heart is already attached enough to her that he'd be a loyal puppy for her no matter what she wants. ]

[ She props herself up so that she is facing him better, ]That's precisely why I must be so upset then... [ She said, ponderingly to herself, looking up after she finished her thought.] You didn't do anything to me, and yet here you are treating yourself like you're nothing but a danger to me. [ She got up so that she was kneeling in front of him, not breaking his gaze as much as she could help it. ]

I don't want you to leave, remember? You can leave, as long as I know that I can see you again. You don't have to worry about hurting me, I'll let you know if you do something I don't like.

But right now, [She placed her hand on the side of his face, brushing his thumb across his lower lip.] I can see that you're struggling a little bit, and I appreciate it. You were trying not to be a threat to me. But it's alright, you don't need to worry so much.
[In stead of caressing his cheek perhaps like before, she just left her hand there, thumb resting on his lower lip as she met his eyes.]

[ It's no use, he really can't keep up anything in front of her. Especially not in this position. They're so close, and she's staring straight into his eyes - her look makes him feel like she's staring straight through him, like he can't hide a single thing from her - and then there's her hand on his face, her thumb on his lips.

It's stupid. He's never needed anyone, so why would he be sitting here, heart racing like crazy over some girl? Itsuki keeps wondering how he can let himself be so weak, but she's saying she actually appreciates what he does, telling him to not worry.. and he really, really wants to listen to those words, especially in this state. ]

I'm-- [ It comes out a little half-muffled against that thumb, so he pulls backwards just slightly to be able to speak properly, a hint of red on his cheeks. ] I'm a man too, y'know.

[ Despite what he looks like, the sentence implies, but he won't say that out loud.

And without the usual lollipop in his mouth, he leans over after another moment, close enough that their lips are almost - almost - touching. His hand now moves onto her cheek, sliding a little bit further into her hair. It's a little shakey, like exploring unknown territory. ]

I could, too... [ Do the things that other men did to her, that is.

But he doesn't want to be like that. He doesn't want to hurt her the way they did. He doesn't want to touch her just because she's pretty (even if she is, and even if that doesn't go unnoticed), but he wants to because she's not like anyone else and because she sees right through him and because she cares. ]

[ A small breath caught in her chest when he started to get closer to her. She moved her hand to the side of his face and rubbed her thumb along his chin. She closed her eyes and sighed at his hand in her hair, moving her other hand to the back of his head, perhaps trying to push him towards her a little bit. ]
Yes, you are in fact a man. Even if you don't look it. [She smirked, now that they were close enough for her to be able to feel his breath on her lips. ]

So why don't you prove it to me then.

[She pressed her forehead against his and began massaging his scalp again. She could kiss him now if she wanted to, she could get what she wanted. But she wanted him to do it, to show her. Even if they were still strangers, they felt so close and so dependent on one another already. Even if he chickened out, she wouldn't be disappointed, she wouldn't give up on him. She felt no threat from him and she so desperately wanted to cherish tha t.]

[ At least everything is a clear sign she does want it - Itsuki's not oblivious enough to miss that. She seems so comfortable compared to how she tensed up earlier at just him entering the room, let alone more than that. She actually wants this. Even though she's had such bad experiences, she doesn't mind if it's him..

What a stupid and annoying feeling that's filling his chest, so warm..

There's no way he can back down from it when she's saying it like that, that's what he's telling himself. It's only natural, right? He can't back down from a challenge, it's not like he actually wants to do this because he wants to be close to her.

Closing his eyes, his lips brush against Kiyomi's at first before he presses them a little more firmly against hers. There's something a little clumsy about it, like someone who's still trying to find their footing at this whole deal, but it's genuine. Itsuki is even trying to make sure to not press too hard in case she doesn't like it after all and wants to back out. ]

[She grins despite herself. The kiss is so soft and innocent at first. Even when he presses harder it is clear that he's never done this before, so she decides to help him out. She returns his kiss, moving her mouth against hers, doing her best to demonstrate the motions.
His lips are just as soft as she imagined. He was timid and careful, and that just made her want him more.

As much as she'd like to make this into a larger ordeal, she knows that she must still keep it relatively tame, for his sake. Just the fact that he initiated it was big enough of a deal as it was. Even so she digs one hand into his hair, and cups his cheek with the other, kissing him lingeringly and gently to show him exactly how she felt about him.]

There, [She murmured when breaking for air,] Now you can no longer say that the two of us are strangers.
[She returned to kissing him with just a hint of passion, letting him decide how he wanted to respond.]

[ It's a little easier to do this once he gets more into it, enough to realise that he can just go along with the motions of her own mouth - as long as no one but the two of them knows, it's not even that bad or embarrassing that she's leading it. Kiyomi has more experience, after all. Even he can't deny that.

And it's all.. rather nice. It feels nice, just sitting here and doing this with her, to feel the touch of her hand on his skin and in his hair. To hold her in turn. It's a little vulnerable, but it's so nice to have someone there he doesn't need to constantly put his guard up around.

They're no longer strangers, and Itsuki knows it just as she says it. They slept together, all cuddled up, they're kissing now.. it'd be hard to call her a stranger after that, huh.

.. But what does that make them instead?

He doesn't know, and just thinking of it makes his chest feel a little tight, so Itsuki discards the thought and instead tries to return the kiss as best as he can, the passion - in a slightly more naive way - returned. He only pulls his lips off hers for a moment while lingering near her to mumble her name-- ]

Kiyomi..

[ He can't do more than that. There are so many things he wants to say and ask, but he can't get any of them out, not even in this situation. Not even now they're kissing. It's like the action of that is easier than forming anything he wants to say into words. ]

Itsuki…

[She responded. Her name somehow sounded more beautiful when he said it. In his tone she could hear that he was very aware of the weight of it. He didn’t want to use her first name lightly, but in this circumstance, using last names was simply out of the question.

She pulled away from his lips, but kept her hands on him. She kissed down his jaw, his neck and down to his collar bone. She moved her hand from his cheek to his lips to keep his mouth occupied. She pulled down the collar of his shirt, just enough for her to bite his skin gently. She nibbled and sucked so that she was sure to leave a mark. One hand at his lips, the other on his back.

It was enough so that perhaps the memory of her would linger even when their duties separated them. But she was also courteous enough to place it somewhere that was easily hidden. This was after all a secret between the two of them. They were breaking the rules, and neither wanted much to discover what the consequences might be. But for Kiyomi at least, this was worth any punishment she might be subjected too.]

[ It's going a little further than he expected, but oddly enough he doesn't really find himself minding all that much of this. It's nice just to have her hands or her mouth on him, and when Itsuki can feel her biting down on his skin lightly, a small groan escapes from his mouth.

It's quickly silenced though by one of her fingers slipping into her mouth. At this point he's not even sure if he guided them there or that she did, but it doesn't matter. He sucks on the fingers, running his tongue along them, and it reminds him a little of his usual lollypops. (Except it's Kiyomi, and that makes it better for some reason.)

A second finger follows, and one of his hands moves to grasp her hand, like he's trying to keep it in place. Small mostly-muffled sounds escape him from her working on her skin like that, and his free hand moves down Kiyomi's back.

It's completely ridiculous and embarrassing, and for all they know someone could walk in on them any moment and see that he's here even though he's not supposed to be and that they're doing this even though they're not supposed to and they'd be breaking probably at least five different rules -- but he doesn't care. Being close to Kiyomi like this feels so nice that he's just losing himself in it. ]

[She removed her mouth from his skin with slight hesitation. She had enjoyed perhaps to much hearing his small gasps and moans, as well as feeling his body react to her careful touches. She herself discovered that she somewhat liked him sucking on her fingers. And beyond that it showed that he would probably be very good with his tongue in other contexts. But for now, he was still very unfamiliar with all of this. And she was just pleased that he was going along with her whims. They were due to start their daily routine very soon, so this simply could not go on too much longer.

She tugged his shirt collar back into place and pulled her fingers slowly out of his mouth. The faces that he made were absolutely delightful to her. He was just like a child in his beauty, but he was still a grown man in how he held her. His hand still tried to keep hers in place, so instead she held that hand, lacing their fingers together.

She cupped the other side of his face and looked up at him. She paused for a few moments, trying to fully regain her composure. It took all of the self-control within her to keep herself from taking him then and there. But for how kindly he had treated her, she owed him at least as much.]

Sakari will probably return soon. And it will be suspicious if you don't report for morning training.
[Her face was still flushed, but she spoke as firmly as she could. ] But this isn't over. If you don't come to find me again, I'll find you, okay? [She leaned forward and kissed him lingeringly once more on the lips. Almost as if to seal her promise.]

[ To be honest, a part of him was getting so lost in this sensation that he hardly even realises what's happening when Kiyomi suddenly pulls back and removes her fingers from his mouth like that. It results in him blinking in total confusion for a moment or two until his mind slowly returns and realises what's up here.

Although that realisation brings a blush to his face, and Itsuki awkwardly tugs on his shirt as if to bring it further back into place even as he's looking back at her, like he needs to occupy the hand she's not holding somehow out of sheer embarrassment.

He looks a little pouty. His first instinct is to whine that he doesn't want to go, that he wants to stay here with her (that's what feels so nice, after all) but even though he doesn't care if he's punished, he doesn't want her to be. Especially not because of him. So it's something he'll have to give up on for today. ]

Don't come find me..!

[ It comes out a little more harshly than intended thanks to how embarrassed he's feeling right now, but at least he realises that a moment later. Itsuki's eyebrows knit together, and for a moment his gaze drops as his head dips forward. ]

I.. I mean.. I'll come find you for sure, so don't bother getting yourself into trouble. [ Not that he doubts that Kiyomi is capable, but he just doesn't even want her to have to risk it. How would he be supposed to feel, letting her do that for him, geez...

His hand that had been fiddling with his shirt moves up to wipe lightly at his mouth, making sure there isn't any drool stupidly left behind. Even so, he can still feel her taste in his mouth. (It's not a bad thing. Really, it's the opposite.) ]

[When he pouted like that, it just made her want to kiss him again. She thought about biting his lower lip until he groaned again. About knotting her hands in his hair and feeling his hands dig into her hips. But now wasn't the time. This also wasn't even the place for such affairs. But the two of them had little other choice. The only thing she was sure of was that she wanted to know him more, continue to know him like this. Lingering touches and kisses that spoke when words failed them.]

Then don't keep me waiting too long. Who knows what I might do to you, if I get too, impatient. [She walked her free hand up his chest and then gave him a sudden genuine smile. She suddenly remembered that she didn’t need to keep up her Seductress act for him. And that thought filled her with a moment of glee.]

[ It's the genuine smile that follows that really gets his heart pounding as he stares at her. Kiyomi is so pretty-- so pretty, so understanding, and for some reason he can't help but feel happy when she looks genuinely happy.

Would it really be so wrong for him to just stay here and kiss her all morning instead? Because that sure sounds a lot more fun than training would be.

But there's a part of Itsuki that's responsible enough that understands he can't stay, so he finally reluctantly gets himself off the bed, straightening his shirt a little more. ]

I'd like to see that.

[ Maybe it's since he's standing up again and a little bit of his embarrassing position that Itsuki suddenly seems more confident again, a grin working its way up to his lips. He bends over to kiss her on the lips once more - briefly, and despite the grin, his heart is still pounding like mad. It probably will for a while more every time he finds that mark she left behind on his body again.

But for now he'll be a good boy and go. So after that and after staring at her for a moment, Itsuki turns to quickly go before people go out into the halls and it'll be too late for him to sneak out. ]

ic; a guy like me can't hold onto or let go of you

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