[ As disjointed as Souma's own reply is, Haku's comes with some weird form of delay. A kind of delay where he just mostly stares at the other before he slowly bends his head in something that'd resemble a nod if it wasn't for the fact that it seems so absent, like he's hardly even thinking about it.
Because his thoughts are somewhere else, all over the place. It really is Souma, the reaction only reinforces that (so full of energy in its own way, strangely genuine in the way it goes across attitudes - because it's easier to read into it as that than it is to read it as emotions). But that means he's facing Souma again, and in a sense, he wasn't prepared for that.
Their last meeting, their farewell.. it'd been a little bit messy. By Haku standards, anyway. At the time it had seemed fine (and almost impossible not to) to show a little more emotion. To let Souma see a little bit more of the sides of him that feel like a puzzle where the pieces don't entirely fit right together. To show Souma that he meant something to him, to let him feel how much he'd miss his presence.
(Because Haku has found that there's not much of a difference between leaving and dying, other than the lack of guilt that consumes you every time you think about it. But it still feels hollow.)
He'd never thought of facing Souma again. If he had, would he have been able to pour everything out in that hug the way he had back then? And how the hell is he supposed to deal with mixing any of the stuff that's happened in the months before his graduation into it? ]
.. yeah.
[ The verbal version of the nod comes even slower after the gesture, and his bag ends up on the floor in a gesture that's half putting down, half dropping. Like it's an extra weight he just can't deal with right now.
The only instinctive initial way of coping with not knowing what to do is by just listing basic facts - responses he doesn't have to think too deeply about. ]
Eiri and I.. both of us.
[ Usually it wouldn't be a necessary distinction to make since no one can graduate without their Messiah, but for anyone who knows Haku's jinx, and even more for anyone who just knows Haku beyond that, it's an important one. That Eiri's just as alright as either of them are (is that really alright?) and somewhere out there. That he didn't die. Because it's not like he's never seen either Shuusuke or Souma stare at his midget Messiah with worry in their eyes before. ]
no subject
Because his thoughts are somewhere else, all over the place. It really is Souma, the reaction only reinforces that (so full of energy in its own way, strangely genuine in the way it goes across attitudes - because it's easier to read into it as that than it is to read it as emotions). But that means he's facing Souma again, and in a sense, he wasn't prepared for that.
Their last meeting, their farewell.. it'd been a little bit messy. By Haku standards, anyway. At the time it had seemed fine (and almost impossible not to) to show a little more emotion. To let Souma see a little bit more of the sides of him that feel like a puzzle where the pieces don't entirely fit right together. To show Souma that he meant something to him, to let him feel how much he'd miss his presence.
(Because Haku has found that there's not much of a difference between leaving and dying, other than the lack of guilt that consumes you every time you think about it. But it still feels hollow.)
He'd never thought of facing Souma again. If he had, would he have been able to pour everything out in that hug the way he had back then? And how the hell is he supposed to deal with mixing any of the stuff that's happened in the months before his graduation into it? ]
.. yeah.
[ The verbal version of the nod comes even slower after the gesture, and his bag ends up on the floor in a gesture that's half putting down, half dropping. Like it's an extra weight he just can't deal with right now.
The only instinctive initial way of coping with not knowing what to do is by just listing basic facts - responses he doesn't have to think too deeply about. ]
Eiri and I.. both of us.
[ Usually it wouldn't be a necessary distinction to make since no one can graduate without their Messiah, but for anyone who knows Haku's jinx, and even more for anyone who just knows Haku beyond that, it's an important one. That Eiri's just as alright as either of them are (is that really alright?) and somewhere out there. That he didn't die. Because it's not like he's never seen either Shuusuke or Souma stare at his midget Messiah with worry in their eyes before. ]