[Mamoru still had this idealized notion of her. It should comfort her, but it still felt like he was ignoring those dark parts of her instead of accepting them. But, she could see that there was no getting through to him at that exact moment through words alone.]
She knew that he still didn't fully accept it. When she had told him the truth, he had nearly collapsed in on himself with blame. Because in his mind, him existing is what caused Kiraki to become a killer and nearly be executed.

She knew that it didn't matter. He could have threatened anyone and eventually the outcome would be the same. Her standing over his corpse.

A thought occurred to her, and she remembered something they were talking about earlier. Before she had dropped the bomb about their encounter, she had said something about how Mamoru had always acted almost like her boyfriend with how thoughtful and attentive he was.]

You must have always thought this way then, huh. [she said. She remembered how his feelings for him changed and grew right around when puberty hit her, but Mamoru had almost seemed impervious to that. He was the same as he had always been. Right up until the end when she thought they were parting for good.]

Even back in middle school, high school and after...I was most afraid of scaring you off. That's why I never had the guts to confess. You were so important to me-- I couldn't risk it.
[She gently nuzzled her nose up against his cheek for a moment.] I couldn't risk rejection. I couldn't risk the awkwardness, the falling out. I didn't need to be your girlfriend that badly if it meant I could possibly lose you. [She let her hand fall from his cheek, out from under his. She trailed her fingers down his neck and collarbone. Her hand stopping on the left side of her chest, right above his heart.]