[ It's a different kind of guilt that sets in at those words. At least she's alright, at least he didn't get her killed (the very idea of it still makes his stomach turn within him even to this day), but.. even so, he doesn't know what happened to her. How she survived. How she ended up with Botan. He didn't even imagine what she must be going through since he didn't know she was alive - he felt guilty towards Takano for not being able to properly explain things before he disappeared, but he never got to have the same thoughts about Kiraki since he thought she was dead anyway.
And now he's just standing there, asking stupid questions when all she needs is comfort. It's the least thing he should do for her after what he almost did to her.
All he can think of are the nights when Kaito's delusion of Haruto almost seemed to waver, when he was standing there looking so very lonely, and the only thing that could comfort him was--
Using his free arm that isn't currently clasped by the girl like it's done with a claw, Mamoru moves it around her back before drawing her a little closer towards him. Maybe a hug is a little strange and intimate since they haven't seen each other in what feels like so long thanks to how drastically his life changed and with them only just meeting again, but.. well, he can't think of any better way to make this come across. ]
It's alright, Tsushima.. it's alright.
[ They're both alive. Even though each of them thought the other was dead, they're actually standing here, both of them together. She's so close that he can practically feel her heartbeat only confirm the fact that she's really there, the solid physicalness of her body against her arm telling him she's real.
There's so much to make up for that he doesn't quite know where to start, but maybe this will just have to be said start - Mamoru doesn't quite notice he's holding his breath for a moment after that slightly shakey statement. ]
.. it's alright.
[ There's more he wants to say - like I'm so glad and I'm so sorry and I missed you, but those don't quite make their way out. All he can say is this much. It's alright now, the two of them are right here, their friendship wasn't brutally severed by death.
He'll be here. He doesn't know how much it might help (what if she actually can't stand him anymore because of what he did, even when she uses words like "the last thing you deserve", he wouldn't blame her for it), but if she needs it, then he'll be right here. He's not moving an inch from the spot where he's holding her with one arm.
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And now he's just standing there, asking stupid questions when all she needs is comfort. It's the least thing he should do for her after what he almost did to her.
All he can think of are the nights when Kaito's delusion of Haruto almost seemed to waver, when he was standing there looking so very lonely, and the only thing that could comfort him was--
Using his free arm that isn't currently clasped by the girl like it's done with a claw, Mamoru moves it around her back before drawing her a little closer towards him. Maybe a hug is a little strange and intimate since they haven't seen each other in what feels like so long thanks to how drastically his life changed and with them only just meeting again, but.. well, he can't think of any better way to make this come across. ]
It's alright, Tsushima.. it's alright.
[ They're both alive. Even though each of them thought the other was dead, they're actually standing here, both of them together. She's so close that he can practically feel her heartbeat only confirm the fact that she's really there, the solid physicalness of her body against her arm telling him she's real.
There's so much to make up for that he doesn't quite know where to start, but maybe this will just have to be said start - Mamoru doesn't quite notice he's holding his breath for a moment after that slightly shakey statement. ]
.. it's alright.
[ There's more he wants to say - like I'm so glad and I'm so sorry and I missed you, but those don't quite make their way out. All he can say is this much. It's alright now, the two of them are right here, their friendship wasn't brutally severed by death.
He'll be here. He doesn't know how much it might help (what if she actually can't stand him anymore because of what he did, even when she uses words like "the last thing you deserve", he wouldn't blame her for it), but if she needs it, then he'll be right here. He's not moving an inch from the spot where he's holding her with one arm.
That much is what he's decided. ]