jinxings: (at least for a while)
mitsumi "HAKU YES" haku ([personal profile] jinxings) wrote in [community profile] mysteries 2015-04-07 07:02 pm (UTC)

[ For a small, tiny moment, it seems like it might not be all that bad.

But then he watches that smile crash down - he watches Eiri crash down in his arms. Come to think of it, he's never seen Eiri cry before. Eiri has seen him on the verge of tears, especially back during that reveal that Higayama had been his older brother all along, but Eiri never cried. Eiri looked sad sometimes, and seemed lost in thought a whole lot more often than that, but he never cried.

And right now it's like he's making up for all those times he didn't do it. He's crying harder than Haku has ever seen anyone cry, and it really tugs on his heart. Because Eiri is his Messiah, the most important person to him both by decree and by choice. And yet he's crying this bad, he's letting out all the hurt that he couldn't show in front of the captors, when he had to at least try and be strong.

It'll pass. Haku is not very good at understanding a lot of things that he hasn't encountered before, but Eiri is a different case - he's the only person he can understand fairly unconditionally. It's why Haku knows that Eiri will pull through, that he'll be alright after he lets out all the hurt like this, after he knows he's safe for sure, when he can heal both emotionally and physically from all he's gone through.

Until then, all he can do is be there for him.

Haku moves to pull the smaller guy in a little bit more, helping along Eiri's own effort on that. He moves to rest his chin on top of Eiri's head, tugging his arm just a little bit tighter around him, like he's wordlessly saying he won't let go of him, no matter what. So he can completely surround Eiri with himself (the upside of having these long limbs everywhere) and let him know that he's safe. Sure, there might not be any direct threats in the Church's headquarters, but even so, the sentiment is the same. He's just showing he won't let anyone take Eiri away from him right now, that he'll protect him with all he's got while he's not strong enough to do it himself.

He won't let him go through all that again, even if he can't imagine what specifically. He doesn't have to know. Just the thought of Eiri hurting means enough to him without knowing the specifics - it's enough to make him feel that resolute.

For a few moments he just sits there like that, letting Eiri throw out every single tear and emotion he has to. And he'll stay here for however long his Messiah needs it, not even teasing and prodding him like usually.

Although after those few moments pass, something does slip out-- ]


.. I'm sorry.

[ That he couldn't prevent this from happening, that he couldn't come to rescue Eiri earlier. That he couldn't do a single thing but abandon him to those brutes for all of those days. ]

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