[The man who said Gender is irrelevant, killing in general is wrong... What happened to him, Chizuru wonders? Has the ochimizu warped him so terribly, or was that kindness always a front?
...if that kindness was true, and his insistence now is born from madness, what does that mean for Shinpachi? Sannan has lasted longer than any other rasetsu. Years from now, will Shinpachi be like this - cruel, twisted into an unrecognizable shell of the man he once was? She doesn't think he could ever change that much, but then, she never thought that Sannan would be like this, either, no matter how bitter and caustic he had grown after receiving his wound.
If that kindness was false, and this is truly the man Sannan always was, how badly did she misjudge the others? Is it possible that she's even misjudged the man at her side?
No - no, it isn't. The thought slips away from her as easily as it comes to mind and when he steps forward to put himself between her and his superior, it's then that she reaches for his arm, not to cling but to rest her hand very lightly against it.]
Nagakura-san... it's alright.
[It's not alright. It's not alright at all. The words ring hollow, and she knows it - Sannan knows it - she's sure Shinpachi knows it, too. But Chizuru wants to pretend, if only so Sannan will leave and Shinpachi will calm down, if only so they can regain some semblance of peace before they have to go back and Shinpachi has to put on his usual brave face in front of the rest of the Shinsengumi.]
I'll... think about it, Sannan-san. But, for now, I'd like to pursue this part of my father's research. [She means the medicine, and Sannan presses his lips into a thin line.]
You would suppress the strength we have such a dire need of?
[She swallows hard, her fingers tightening in the fabric of Shinpachi's haori.]
I would... respect the wishes of the men who don't want to go mad. [She averts her eyes, then, clearly still a little uncomfortable.] ...if that's all you had to say, you ought to be getting back. You need your rest before the next time you have rounds. Nagakura-san and I will stay here for a little while longer.
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...if that kindness was true, and his insistence now is born from madness, what does that mean for Shinpachi? Sannan has lasted longer than any other rasetsu. Years from now, will Shinpachi be like this - cruel, twisted into an unrecognizable shell of the man he once was? She doesn't think he could ever change that much, but then, she never thought that Sannan would be like this, either, no matter how bitter and caustic he had grown after receiving his wound.
If that kindness was false, and this is truly the man Sannan always was, how badly did she misjudge the others? Is it possible that she's even misjudged the man at her side?
No - no, it isn't. The thought slips away from her as easily as it comes to mind and when he steps forward to put himself between her and his superior, it's then that she reaches for his arm, not to cling but to rest her hand very lightly against it.]
Nagakura-san... it's alright.
[It's not alright. It's not alright at all. The words ring hollow, and she knows it - Sannan knows it - she's sure Shinpachi knows it, too. But Chizuru wants to pretend, if only so Sannan will leave and Shinpachi will calm down, if only so they can regain some semblance of peace before they have to go back and Shinpachi has to put on his usual brave face in front of the rest of the Shinsengumi.]
I'll... think about it, Sannan-san. But, for now, I'd like to pursue this part of my father's research. [She means the medicine, and Sannan presses his lips into a thin line.]
You would suppress the strength we have such a dire need of?
[She swallows hard, her fingers tightening in the fabric of Shinpachi's haori.]
I would... respect the wishes of the men who don't want to go mad. [She averts her eyes, then, clearly still a little uncomfortable.] ...if that's all you had to say, you ought to be getting back. You need your rest before the next time you have rounds. Nagakura-san and I will stay here for a little while longer.