[ He can hardly believe what he's seeing. Since Hijikata handled this situation the last time, he didn't exactly know that Sannan has been harassing Chizuru like this before - although his words make it clear. And while there is logic in what he's saying, there's no way Shinpachi can find this the right thing to do. He doesn't want to rely on the rasetsu to win anyway, it'd be better if they didn't need the Corps at all, let alone trying to make them stronger and using poor Chizuru for it.
He knows the war is pretty hopeless at this point, that there's a big chance they won't make it with just their usual strength alone, but.. dammit, that doesn't matter, if this is the only way they can win then he doesn't even want to win.
He grits his teeth the more uncomfortable Chizuru is looking, and the moment she wraps her arms around herself he realises this is going way too far if it's making her that uncomfortable. He knows Chizuru, Shinpachi knows that she'd do anything for others - she's proven that back at Toba-Fushimi, if nothing else - and that she must be blaming herself for not wanting to agree with something like this.
Which means he'll just make the choice for her - once again. Maybe he's a selfish guy for making the choice in her place, but he doesn't care, he just wants to see her happy again instead of like this. ]
Sannan-san, that's going too far! [ The other man might be his superior, but it's not like that has ever stopped Shinpachi before from letting people ranked above him know just what exactly is on his mind. ]
You see she doesn't want to do it, right? You can't just force her to do something like that by badgering her about it.
[ Sannan doesn't seem very fazed though by Shinpachi's outburst - or even if he is, it doesn't show in his expression, he just still has that same smile, like he's one step ahead of the other. ] I feel like you might be forgetting about something though. Back at the magistrate's office, Hijikata-kun sure did not hesitate in ordering her to be your shield.. who is to say he won't do the same thing again in the future if we end up in another difficult situation? It is exactly at those times that the strengthened Corps could take care of the enemy.
[ For a moment Shinpachi looks genuinely taken aback at the words, as if he didn't think of that. Hijikata probably did have a lot more trouble with his order back there than Sannan makes it out to be, but Shinpachi also knows Hijikata is practical. And that Chizuru would just - out of the good of her heart - offer to do the same thing all over again.
And he thinks of back then, how the bullets kept hitting her, the blood on her clothes, the way she slumped against him and almost cried--
No. No, no, no-- his stomach turns, and he realises that above all, he never wants to see that sight again. Not when she's protecting him, not when she's protecting anyone else.. but then again, he can't exactly let Sannan do god knows whatever with her as well, right? He'll just suck her dry if no one keeps an eye on him, he's been getting carried enough with the whole rasetsu business enough lately. ]
You're kiddin' me..
[ Shinpachi steps forward as if he's trying to stand protectively inbetween Chizuru and Sannan - not blocking the view of her entirely, but moving just a slight step ahead so he's at least shielding her with his shoulder. Maybe he doesn't even consciousloy realise he's doing it, really, he seems too caught up in his emotions - his expression practically snarling by now. ]
You're trying to tell me that she's gonna be hurt either way?! Isn't the Shinsengumi there to protect innocent people instead of just using them for their own fucked up reasons? We're not much better than those Choshu dogs if we're gonna start with that..! [ Maybe his reaction is a little over the top. A voice in the back of his mind tells him that, some part of him knows it, but.. dammit, he just can't get the sight of how hurt she was back then out of his mind, surely if anyone else had seen that, they would have understood. ]
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He knows the war is pretty hopeless at this point, that there's a big chance they won't make it with just their usual strength alone, but.. dammit, that doesn't matter, if this is the only way they can win then he doesn't even want to win.
He grits his teeth the more uncomfortable Chizuru is looking, and the moment she wraps her arms around herself he realises this is going way too far if it's making her that uncomfortable. He knows Chizuru, Shinpachi knows that she'd do anything for others - she's proven that back at Toba-Fushimi, if nothing else - and that she must be blaming herself for not wanting to agree with something like this.
Which means he'll just make the choice for her - once again. Maybe he's a selfish guy for making the choice in her place, but he doesn't care, he just wants to see her happy again instead of like this. ]
Sannan-san, that's going too far! [ The other man might be his superior, but it's not like that has ever stopped Shinpachi before from letting people ranked above him know just what exactly is on his mind. ]
You see she doesn't want to do it, right? You can't just force her to do something like that by badgering her about it.
[ Sannan doesn't seem very fazed though by Shinpachi's outburst - or even if he is, it doesn't show in his expression, he just still has that same smile, like he's one step ahead of the other. ] I feel like you might be forgetting about something though. Back at the magistrate's office, Hijikata-kun sure did not hesitate in ordering her to be your shield.. who is to say he won't do the same thing again in the future if we end up in another difficult situation? It is exactly at those times that the strengthened Corps could take care of the enemy.
[ For a moment Shinpachi looks genuinely taken aback at the words, as if he didn't think of that. Hijikata probably did have a lot more trouble with his order back there than Sannan makes it out to be, but Shinpachi also knows Hijikata is practical. And that Chizuru would just - out of the good of her heart - offer to do the same thing all over again.
And he thinks of back then, how the bullets kept hitting her, the blood on her clothes, the way she slumped against him and almost cried--
No. No, no, no-- his stomach turns, and he realises that above all, he never wants to see that sight again. Not when she's protecting him, not when she's protecting anyone else.. but then again, he can't exactly let Sannan do god knows whatever with her as well, right? He'll just suck her dry if no one keeps an eye on him, he's been getting carried enough with the whole rasetsu business enough lately. ]
You're kiddin' me..
[ Shinpachi steps forward as if he's trying to stand protectively inbetween Chizuru and Sannan - not blocking the view of her entirely, but moving just a slight step ahead so he's at least shielding her with his shoulder. Maybe he doesn't even consciousloy realise he's doing it, really, he seems too caught up in his emotions - his expression practically snarling by now. ]
You're trying to tell me that she's gonna be hurt either way?! Isn't the Shinsengumi there to protect innocent people instead of just using them for their own fucked up reasons? We're not much better than those Choshu dogs if we're gonna start with that..! [ Maybe his reaction is a little over the top. A voice in the back of his mind tells him that, some part of him knows it, but.. dammit, he just can't get the sight of how hurt she was back then out of his mind, surely if anyone else had seen that, they would have understood. ]