[There's an undeniable relief when she feels his tongue flit out to lap up the blood from her finger - but it's mixed with something else that she has trouble identifying, and that brings a slight blush to her cheeks and makes her look down at their feet. Raising her gaze back to his face is difficult, not because he's drinking her blood - that's alright, it's just fine - but because it feels more intimate than she was really expecting.
She doesn't gasp even when he takes her by the wrist. He isn't rough with her (she wonders if he could ever be, now that her first days with the Shinsengumi feel as though they're so far away), but her finger being taken further into his mouth darkens the blush on her cheeks and she stays as quiet as she can, biting down on her lip to be sure no sounds escape, as he takes as much of her blood as he needs.
She is only able to bring herself to look up when he removes her finger from his mouth. In some ways, the part of his expression that is flustered makes her feel a little better - he's uncertain too, then, and it's okay if she's not really sure how she feels because this just means they'll have to figure it out together. But the part of his expression that's disgusted makes her feel so incredibly guilty, and she opens her mouth to say something -
But his arms are around her, she's so close to him, and he's whispering into her hair. The blush staining her cheeks really isn't going to go away at this rate and she's aware that someone could come in at any moment, but she wraps her arms around him anyway and whispers back.]
No... you have nothing to be sorry for.
[She was the one who had forced it, after all. She was the one who made the cut, and who, when he said no, brought the blood to his lips anyway. She's not sure she can forgive himself for that and he shouldn't be apologizing to her for it, not like this. Her stomach churns and her hold on him tightens a little.] Are you... [She takes a breath.] ...feeling better, though...?
[Forcing him to drink her blood - betraying his trust like that... it has to have meant something, at least. She has to know if the pain is lessened. Certainly he's not hunched over in agony anymore, but that doesn't necessarily mean he feels nothing. He's so strong. Surely he could hide it from her, even if he was in pain.
That was why the obvious pain of the bloodlust hurt so much to see, because for him to actually be showing it... for Shinpachi, who laughs and jokes and pretends everything is fine so that everyone else's morale will stay up, to be showing the pain he's in... the pain must have been excruciating.
And he was only going through that pain because he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, because he had been with her when Kazama had appeared and because he had made her a promise. That promise has caused him to lose so much now. If there's anything at all she can do to lessen his suffering, she wants to do it. It's not even "has to" - she wants to.]
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She doesn't gasp even when he takes her by the wrist. He isn't rough with her (she wonders if he could ever be, now that her first days with the Shinsengumi feel as though they're so far away), but her finger being taken further into his mouth darkens the blush on her cheeks and she stays as quiet as she can, biting down on her lip to be sure no sounds escape, as he takes as much of her blood as he needs.
She is only able to bring herself to look up when he removes her finger from his mouth. In some ways, the part of his expression that is flustered makes her feel a little better - he's uncertain too, then, and it's okay if she's not really sure how she feels because this just means they'll have to figure it out together. But the part of his expression that's disgusted makes her feel so incredibly guilty, and she opens her mouth to say something -
But his arms are around her, she's so close to him, and he's whispering into her hair. The blush staining her cheeks really isn't going to go away at this rate and she's aware that someone could come in at any moment, but she wraps her arms around him anyway and whispers back.]
No... you have nothing to be sorry for.
[She was the one who had forced it, after all. She was the one who made the cut, and who, when he said no, brought the blood to his lips anyway. She's not sure she can forgive himself for that and he shouldn't be apologizing to her for it, not like this. Her stomach churns and her hold on him tightens a little.] Are you... [She takes a breath.] ...feeling better, though...?
[Forcing him to drink her blood - betraying his trust like that... it has to have meant something, at least. She has to know if the pain is lessened. Certainly he's not hunched over in agony anymore, but that doesn't necessarily mean he feels nothing. He's so strong. Surely he could hide it from her, even if he was in pain.
That was why the obvious pain of the bloodlust hurt so much to see, because for him to actually be showing it... for Shinpachi, who laughs and jokes and pretends everything is fine so that everyone else's morale will stay up, to be showing the pain he's in... the pain must have been excruciating.
And he was only going through that pain because he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, because he had been with her when Kazama had appeared and because he had made her a promise. That promise has caused him to lose so much now. If there's anything at all she can do to lessen his suffering, she wants to do it. It's not even "has to" - she wants to.]