[ He can't see what she's doing at first. The pain is so strong that he can't quite focus on anything but it, really, clawing at his chest like he can just rip the pain straight out of him. But it's impossible, he knows it's coming from deep within him, it's the bloodlust he's seen plenty of other men experience before after being turned into a rasetsu. And now it's his turn, except he has many more things to worry about. He can't entirely flip out since Chizuru is right there and he can't let her get hurt, so he needs to keep a complete hold on himself. And he also needs to make it stop somehow, if his hair turned white then he has to make sure no one notices, what if someone walks in to ask him something right now and he's like this, then they'll all know--
There's too many worries and not enough left of his brain that can readily deal with them rather than just trying to deal with the pain itself.
But Chizuru says it, she says hold on for another few moments, that he'll be okay, and he knows she's right. It usually goes away after a little while, so all he has to do is bear it (and isn't that what he's always done best with everything, even with some venting here and there) and it'll be over and everything will be back to normal. He's going to be alright. The pain is going to go away. He repeats it as a mantra in his head, but even so, Shinpachi can't stop some pained noises from leaving him all the same as the pain wrecks his body.
But then he hears a familiar sound. A blade being pulled out of its sheath, and then before that sound even fully processed itself in his brain, the sound of something being cut--
The thought of Chizuru being in any kind of danger is enough to make him look forward again despite the pain, his eyes wide and red but also obviously worried, panicked. Did someone sneak in and do something to her while he's like this?
Shinpachi quickly notices though that that's not the case. No one cut Chizuru except for Chizuru herself, he's able to realise that when he can see her sword in one of her hands, and then on the other..
No. No, no, no, no, no-- he sees the blood and his brain immediately latches onto it, zooms in on it, practically. All he can see is the blood and the thick smell of it is all he can process and he wants it so badly. But at the same time he's disgusted, and that part of his brain being strong is what keeps him from practically propelling himself forward to drink all the blood he can out of the wound. Chizuru shouldn't have to do this for him, he shouldn't have to drink that, he can still be just like a human even if he's like this, right? He doesn't have to be some sort of monster who drinks blood from the one person he's been trying to protect the past while. ]
No.. [ Even if she's pleading with him, it's just not right-- she knows that too, doesn't she? He shakes his head, but there's sweat trinkling from his forehead and he almost looks like he's in even more pain from just staring at the blood rather than actually drinking it. ] C-.. Chizuru-chan, do.. n't..
[ Don't let him do this. ]
Dammit, I'm fin-- urgh..! [ He clenches his chest again, the pain coming back twice as strong. ]
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There's too many worries and not enough left of his brain that can readily deal with them rather than just trying to deal with the pain itself.
But Chizuru says it, she says hold on for another few moments, that he'll be okay, and he knows she's right. It usually goes away after a little while, so all he has to do is bear it (and isn't that what he's always done best with everything, even with some venting here and there) and it'll be over and everything will be back to normal. He's going to be alright. The pain is going to go away. He repeats it as a mantra in his head, but even so, Shinpachi can't stop some pained noises from leaving him all the same as the pain wrecks his body.
But then he hears a familiar sound. A blade being pulled out of its sheath, and then before that sound even fully processed itself in his brain, the sound of something being cut--
The thought of Chizuru being in any kind of danger is enough to make him look forward again despite the pain, his eyes wide and red but also obviously worried, panicked. Did someone sneak in and do something to her while he's like this?
Shinpachi quickly notices though that that's not the case. No one cut Chizuru except for Chizuru herself, he's able to realise that when he can see her sword in one of her hands, and then on the other..
No. No, no, no, no, no-- he sees the blood and his brain immediately latches onto it, zooms in on it, practically. All he can see is the blood and the thick smell of it is all he can process and he wants it so badly. But at the same time he's disgusted, and that part of his brain being strong is what keeps him from practically propelling himself forward to drink all the blood he can out of the wound. Chizuru shouldn't have to do this for him, he shouldn't have to drink that, he can still be just like a human even if he's like this, right? He doesn't have to be some sort of monster who drinks blood from the one person he's been trying to protect the past while. ]
No.. [ Even if she's pleading with him, it's just not right-- she knows that too, doesn't she? He shakes his head, but there's sweat trinkling from his forehead and he almost looks like he's in even more pain from just staring at the blood rather than actually drinking it. ] C-.. Chizuru-chan, do.. n't..
[ Don't let him do this. ]
Dammit, I'm fin-- urgh..! [ He clenches his chest again, the pain coming back twice as strong. ]