It's stupid, but it's almost like he freezes up when he sees it, when he spots her getting hit by the bullet, the sound she makes and the way she nearly collapses on him-- this really can't be happening. This is exactly what he was trying to avoid, and by the time he's enough aware of the situation again to be able to move he tries to grab her and support her.
But it's already too late, the bullet falls out, letting out a light chime as it hits the earth. Seeing her healing powers in action doesn't really surprise him - she did recover way quickly after that night when Sannan seriously injured her arm, after all - but the fact that she even got hurt to begin with is something he just can't let go. Here he is, a strong warrior, captain of one of the divisions of the Shinsengumi, everything he ever worked for-- and he's letting an innocent girl take bullets for him, even if it's not voluntarily.
And when she walks off and her hair changes color from night to snow, all he can think about is just how badly he wants to chase after her and grab her and pull her far away from this battlefield where she just doesn't belong. But he also knows that if he just storms after her, all her pain will have been for nothing - he'd just get them both killed. So even though he mentally curses himself and kicks the ground, Shinpachi knows that all he can do here to help her (and himself, but that's of lesser consequence right now) survive is fight dirty. Killing people from behind. Letting someone important to him who isn't even a warrior take blows in his place.
God, what is this battle doing to him?
But for now there's no time to reflect on it. Every moment he hesitates is another moment Chizuru suffers, so he's already moving, running until he's right behind the squad firing at the poor girl. And it only takes seconds before they're all bodies on the floor - striking two in one swing, then another, then another, his thrusts even stronger than usually since it contains all the hatred he can muster up for cowards who'd shoot at a girl even before they realised Chizuru is a little bit more than that.
There's only a brief moment where he allows himself after the strikes to make sure there isn't another one of those soldiers close by, but then he's already moving over to the girl. And without saying a word in advance, he grabs her with the arm that isn't carrying the blood-soaked sword, holding her so close to him that he presses her against his chest, holding onto her with an vice-like grip even if it's just one arm he's using, even if he's smeared with blood and dirt and cuts from the battle.
He doesn't care. He's not going to let go of her now and let her get hurt more, not when she's already taken so many bullets, not when it must have hurt so goddamn much--
For once, there's actual anguish visible in Shinpachi's eyes. And it's just this time, just as he's staring down at the girl he's so desperately clinging onto, like letting go of her might just kill her right now. He'll charge back into the battle in a few moments since he knows he can't abandon his men, but he can't just walk away from this and pretend nothing happened.
He can't. ]
Chizuru-chan.. [ His voice shakes a little, and then he grits his teeth. ] Dammit, don't you ever do that again..!
[ He sounds enraged, but it doesn't sound like it's aimed at her. Shinpachi throws temper tantrums way too often for anyone to not be able to tell when he's mad at them, and despite the anger, it's not him being mad at Chizuru.
He's mad at himself for letting this happen, he's mad at the Shinsengumi for even coming up with this idea, he's mad at the enemy soldiers for going after her rather than him. ]
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It's stupid, but it's almost like he freezes up when he sees it, when he spots her getting hit by the bullet, the sound she makes and the way she nearly collapses on him-- this really can't be happening. This is exactly what he was trying to avoid, and by the time he's enough aware of the situation again to be able to move he tries to grab her and support her.
But it's already too late, the bullet falls out, letting out a light chime as it hits the earth. Seeing her healing powers in action doesn't really surprise him - she did recover way quickly after that night when Sannan seriously injured her arm, after all - but the fact that she even got hurt to begin with is something he just can't let go. Here he is, a strong warrior, captain of one of the divisions of the Shinsengumi, everything he ever worked for-- and he's letting an innocent girl take bullets for him, even if it's not voluntarily.
And when she walks off and her hair changes color from night to snow, all he can think about is just how badly he wants to chase after her and grab her and pull her far away from this battlefield where she just doesn't belong. But he also knows that if he just storms after her, all her pain will have been for nothing - he'd just get them both killed. So even though he mentally curses himself and kicks the ground, Shinpachi knows that all he can do here to help her (and himself, but that's of lesser consequence right now) survive is fight dirty. Killing people from behind. Letting someone important to him who isn't even a warrior take blows in his place.
God, what is this battle doing to him?
But for now there's no time to reflect on it. Every moment he hesitates is another moment Chizuru suffers, so he's already moving, running until he's right behind the squad firing at the poor girl. And it only takes seconds before they're all bodies on the floor - striking two in one swing, then another, then another, his thrusts even stronger than usually since it contains all the hatred he can muster up for cowards who'd shoot at a girl even before they realised Chizuru is a little bit more than that.
There's only a brief moment where he allows himself after the strikes to make sure there isn't another one of those soldiers close by, but then he's already moving over to the girl. And without saying a word in advance, he grabs her with the arm that isn't carrying the blood-soaked sword, holding her so close to him that he presses her against his chest, holding onto her with an vice-like grip even if it's just one arm he's using, even if he's smeared with blood and dirt and cuts from the battle.
He doesn't care. He's not going to let go of her now and let her get hurt more, not when she's already taken so many bullets, not when it must have hurt so goddamn much--
For once, there's actual anguish visible in Shinpachi's eyes. And it's just this time, just as he's staring down at the girl he's so desperately clinging onto, like letting go of her might just kill her right now. He'll charge back into the battle in a few moments since he knows he can't abandon his men, but he can't just walk away from this and pretend nothing happened.
He can't. ]
Chizuru-chan.. [ His voice shakes a little, and then he grits his teeth. ] Dammit, don't you ever do that again..!
[ He sounds enraged, but it doesn't sound like it's aimed at her. Shinpachi throws temper tantrums way too often for anyone to not be able to tell when he's mad at them, and despite the anger, it's not him being mad at Chizuru.
He's mad at himself for letting this happen, he's mad at the Shinsengumi for even coming up with this idea, he's mad at the enemy soldiers for going after her rather than him. ]