[ She lingers for a few moments even after he tries to suck in a breath. Maybe it's selfish, but it just.. feels so nice to be doing this with him, despite the circumstances. His taste, the way he's so utterly careful about it - it's not exactly like Chizuru has kissed anyone before either, but she's sure that this just really is what it's supposed to be, the kind of feeling that leaves you wanting more, that fills your chest with warmth.
Except then she does realise that something is maybe a little wrong. She pulls her lips from his enough to just talk, but hardly backs down with the way her hands is still on his shoulder and her heels still a little off the ground (because despite the height difference not being as terrible as it would be with some of the other guys, it's still there) - her big eyes staring at him from up close, still feeling the warm air from his mouth on her face. ]
Um.. i-it wasn't wrong this time, was it..? [ Chizuru "let's see the good in everyone ever" Yukimura apparently hasn't picked up on the connection that if Saitou isn't exactly the least socially awkward person ever, he might not entirely know how to deal with this stuff either. ]
[He blurts that out almost a little too fast, and immediately blushes a bit deeper as he tries to make that sound more - diplomatic, more poised, more...more anything but how it just sounded.]
I...believe that - that was quite right, Yukimura.
[He doesn't have a clue what right works out to in situations like these, but it felt nice and his heart just skipped about five beats, and surely that counts for something.]
[ Well. That reaction sure wasn't very Saitou-like-- or at least, not very much like the usual Saitou she's seen, the one who seems to keep calm and collected at everything, no matter whether it's the middle of a battle or some of the less mature Shinsengumi members making a mess during dinner..
But there's still something so honest about his answer, about the way he wants to make sure she doesn't misunderstand and feel bad so quickly.. it makes a warmth swell in her heart. Even more than that.. it makes him seem even more human, it makes her feel like she's really getting to see glimpses of what he's fully like beyond his usual face. But it's also just--
Chizuru can't help but giggle. It's not really laughing at him, since it's more just that she feels so happy that he's trying this hard for her sake - the happiness bubbles over until she can't contain it, and out of a sheer sense of having to be more polite about it, she quickly covers up her mouth with her hand, casting her eyes downward. ]
A-- ah, sorry..! [ For.. laughing, yes.. she doesn't want him to misunderstand and feel hurt either, okay. ] I just..
[ How does she put this into words? ]
I just thought I really got to see Saitou-san's feelings for a moment.. they're very sincere. [ "I'm glad", she means. ]
[It's mumbled, hard to hear under his breath but just clear enough to make out - more of a slightly awkward attempt to explain his behavior to himself than anything he means her to respond to. There's nothing embarrassing about this, he's just behaving in a manner consistent with the way of the warrior that he strives to live by, this is totally a...normal...thing.
(He's having a hard time buying his own excuse that his outburst has anything to do with properly adhering to bushido, right now.)]
[ As sassy as Chizuru can be at times, she can also be a little oblivious or gullible at other times.. and honestly, with Saitou being.. well, Saitou, what he's saying right now isn't even that hard to just believe literally. ]
Even all of this.. for Saitou-san, it has to do with bushido? [ Yes, she's saying it completely genuinely and curiously. Even while they're still this close. ]
[- isn't as much about bushido as he'd like to pretend it is, to be honest (and of course he feels the need to be honest), but perhaps there is a better way to explain it.]
...it is about the kind of person I hope to be.
[And that, indeed, has a lot to do with bushido, but this is less about being a warrior and more about being someone worthy of the respect he affords that position.]
[ The kind of person he hopes to be.. she can't help but think about it for a moment when he mentions that. Sure, her first impression of the Shinsengumi thanks to the way she ran into them wasn't exactly the best thing ever and there was a good while where she was just more or less frightened by them despite staying in their headquarters. But slowly, over time, she's gotten to know them better. Well enough apparently that Saitou would really consider doing something like this with her, standing here all pressed up against each other to take cover from the rain, kissing her..
But in a way, he's never changed much from the way she first saw him. The way he presents him is just the way he is, genuinely, honestly-- it's just that the extra things he can't express as well that lay underneath it take a little bit before you can notice them. A surprising gentle care for things, a complete devotion to everything he does.
After a quiet moment of thinking about it, she softly draws in a slight breath. ]
I don't think I know for sure what kind of person you hope to be. [ Or rather, she wouldn't want to make any assumptions about it - it'd be rude. ] But.. I think the way you are now, the Saitou that k--.. kissed me.. [ give her a moment to stutter at her dokis, okay. ]
[He's never going to turn a normal color again if she keeps this up, gosh.
His gaze finds some undefined point off to the side to fix on for a moment, because he's flustered and things like that only make it worse, but -
- but then he takes a deep breath, and moves his eyes back up to meet hers, because while he has a feeling he already knows, that's the best way for him to be certain of what he thinks - hopes - is true.
And since Chizuru is a little thick, she may not realise just how flustered Saitou is at those statement.. because to her, rather than flattery, they're just the truth. All the men of the Shinsengumi are admirable in their own way, and Saitou is no exception. If anything, it's like she's able to understand him even more thanks to their moments here.
So she looks up at him, when he causes their gazes to meet. There's a slight hint of confusion or surprise in her glance, as if she's wondering why he's staring at her like that, but she doesn't want to ask it out loud. It'd feel too much like she's breaking something in the atmosphere here that way. ]
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Except then she does realise that something is maybe a little wrong. She pulls her lips from his enough to just talk, but hardly backs down with the way her hands is still on his shoulder and her heels still a little off the ground (because despite the height difference not being as terrible as it would be with some of the other guys, it's still there) - her big eyes staring at him from up close, still feeling the warm air from his mouth on her face. ]
Um.. i-it wasn't wrong this time, was it..? [ Chizuru "let's see the good in everyone ever" Yukimura apparently hasn't picked up on the connection that if Saitou isn't exactly the least socially awkward person ever, he might not entirely know how to deal with this stuff either. ]
no subject
[He blurts that out almost a little too fast, and immediately blushes a bit deeper as he tries to make that sound more - diplomatic, more poised, more...more anything but how it just sounded.]
I...believe that - that was quite right, Yukimura.
[He doesn't have a clue what right works out to in situations like these, but it felt nice and his heart just skipped about five beats, and surely that counts for something.]
no subject
But there's still something so honest about his answer, about the way he wants to make sure she doesn't misunderstand and feel bad so quickly.. it makes a warmth swell in her heart. Even more than that.. it makes him seem even more human, it makes her feel like she's really getting to see glimpses of what he's fully like beyond his usual face. But it's also just--
Chizuru can't help but giggle. It's not really laughing at him, since it's more just that she feels so happy that he's trying this hard for her sake - the happiness bubbles over until she can't contain it, and out of a sheer sense of having to be more polite about it, she quickly covers up her mouth with her hand, casting her eyes downward. ]
A-- ah, sorry..! [ For.. laughing, yes.. she doesn't want him to misunderstand and feel hurt either, okay. ] I just..
[ How does she put this into words? ]
I just thought I really got to see Saitou-san's feelings for a moment.. they're very sincere. [ "I'm glad", she means. ]
no subject
[It's mumbled, hard to hear under his breath but just clear enough to make out - more of a slightly awkward attempt to explain his behavior to himself than anything he means her to respond to. There's nothing embarrassing about this, he's just behaving in a manner consistent with the way of the warrior that he strives to live by, this is totally a...normal...thing.
(He's having a hard time buying his own excuse that his outburst has anything to do with properly adhering to bushido, right now.)]
no subject
Even all of this.. for Saitou-san, it has to do with bushido? [ Yes, she's saying it completely genuinely and curiously. Even while they're still this close. ]
no subject
[- isn't as much about bushido as he'd like to pretend it is, to be honest (and of course he feels the need to be honest), but perhaps there is a better way to explain it.]
...it is about the kind of person I hope to be.
[And that, indeed, has a lot to do with bushido, but this is less about being a warrior and more about being someone worthy of the respect he affords that position.]
no subject
But in a way, he's never changed much from the way she first saw him. The way he presents him is just the way he is, genuinely, honestly-- it's just that the extra things he can't express as well that lay underneath it take a little bit before you can notice them. A surprising gentle care for things, a complete devotion to everything he does.
After a quiet moment of thinking about it, she softly draws in a slight breath. ]
I don't think I know for sure what kind of person you hope to be. [ Or rather, she wouldn't want to make any assumptions about it - it'd be rude. ] But.. I think the way you are now, the Saitou that k--.. kissed me.. [ give her a moment to stutter at her dokis, okay. ]
.. That's already an amazing person to me.
no subject
His gaze finds some undefined point off to the side to fix on for a moment, because he's flustered and things like that only make it worse, but -
- but then he takes a deep breath, and moves his eyes back up to meet hers, because while he has a feeling he already knows, that's the best way for him to be certain of what he thinks - hopes - is true.
That she truly means that, in her heart.]
no subject
And since Chizuru is a little thick, she may not realise just how flustered Saitou is at those statement.. because to her, rather than flattery, they're just the truth. All the men of the Shinsengumi are admirable in their own way, and Saitou is no exception. If anything, it's like she's able to understand him even more thanks to their moments here.
So she looks up at him, when he causes their gazes to meet. There's a slight hint of confusion or surprise in her glance, as if she's wondering why he's staring at her like that, but she doesn't want to ask it out loud. It'd feel too much like she's breaking something in the atmosphere here that way. ]