ooc; old arcanarum ilya app

[overwinters]

PLAYER
Name: Jelle
Age: 19
Journal: ofmarionette
Contact (MESSENGER/E-MAIL/ETC): email: queeningsquare[at]gmail[dot]com; aim: lunixhime; plurk: queeningsquare

CHARACTER
Name: Ilyasviel von Einzbern (Ilya)
Age: Her actual age is 18, but physically (and mentally, most of the time) she looks to be about 10.
Canon: Fate/Stay Night
Canon Point: Post Heaven's Feel
History: here.

Personality: Ilyasviel von Einzbern - Ilya to friends, so for the sake of not having to type out that complete name each time in this app I'll just call her that here - is a pretty complicated girl. Or at least, one who isn't quite always what she seems (her appearance is already part of this, because even with her childish looks and behaviour she's actually much older), and easily seems to switch between different sides of her.

The first side to this girl is a quite cruel and ruthless side. Even though her voice can still sometimes sound innocent even when she's acting like this, she will say completely cruel things and even grin. She doesn't hesitate at killing people, or ordering people to be killed by her giant and ruthless Servant, Berserker. She loves to gloat while doing this too, for example how she keeps talking about how great Berserker is. She seems to view other Masters as 'insects' or 'harmful bugs' and seems to have no remorse about defeating them and killing them. She can delightfully declare that she 'won't let anyone go today' and show off clear murderous intent. There's even a sort of joy in her expression as she talks about finishing off her enemies. To give a vague impression of the kind of cruel things she can say, here are some lines from the visual novel:

"Heehee, you're well-mannered, Onii-chan. I know that, it's that thing called assisted suicide, right? My grandfather said that Japanese people are a neck-cutting tribe who die by having their necks cut off while sitting Japanese-style."

"But you can be relieved. It's no fun if you die that easily, right? So I gave you a small hand! Onii-chan will stay conscious no matter how much it hurts or how much of you gets destroyed until I crush your head. So even if I do this, you'll be able to writhe like a living thing."

"No, I won't let you die that easily. I have to hurt you more and teach you how wonderful your life was up until now."
But that's not all there is to Ilya. While she maintains this cruel and ruthless front as a Master, she can switch from this kind of mode to a completely more childish mode in no time. In fact, she can switch between the two sides of her so easily that it even confuses Shirou near the start of the story, when he gets to know her slowly. But it all just stems from the fact that Ilya never got a good sense of good and evil, since she was never taught about the difference. All she was taught was that she would be a Master and would have to defeat the other Masters, without being told about good or evil. She doesn't know what is means to kill someone, so it seems like she's just acting cruel.

No, I should have known the last time I met her. This girl has no sense of good and evil. If the girl laughing innocently is Ilya, the girl laughing mercilessly is also Ilya. ... It's not like a devil and an angel are in her at the same time. It's just that Ilya is a devil called an angel...
So, more about Ilya's more child-like side, a side which you would expect to see more easily and often for someone with her appearance. I think this image sums up her childish side very appropriately - she just truly is like a child in every sense of the word. She act childishly, running with dancing steps or spinning in circles if she's happy while she's walking. She's outgoing and easily gets overly familiar with people she likes, for example Shirou. Even when she meets him for only the third time (one of those times before involved only her saying a line and running off and the other time involved her blowing out Shirou's stomach because of her Servant) she immediately clings to his arm naturally and happily. She seems to have a childish kind of honesty and can be pretty naive or believing too, Shirou even remarks that 'for this girl Ilya, any promise is an absolute truth'. She does seem to keep Master business strictly away from her more childish moments, considering when Shirou brings it up she either gets back to her more cruel and creepy side or she just gets pouty: "I don't wanna talk about that. It's boring if we don't talk about something more fun."

For this girl Ilya, any promise is an absolute truth. That's why she ran off so happily. She doesn't think I'll run away thinking it's a chance to do so when I'm alone.
She actually gets childishly pouty a lot, it seems to be her way of dealing with disappointment or being refused something, just like any kid would (although it makes her seem a little bit on the spoiled side at times). When she makes Berserker retreat, she just says "... That's enough. This is boring." and when she meets up with Shirou during a later part of the story, she tells him: "I thought I could play with you today and was looking forward to it. But Saber's here, it's cold here, and it's boring." Sometimes her disappointed pouts can even turn into true childish tempter tantrums, especially when it comes down to the things she finds important, like making Shirou her servant. ("W-What? Are you going to tell me what to do even though you're a failure, Leysritt!? S-Shirou agreed, so I can make him my familiar...!")

"Stupid Shirou! It's terrible of you to embarass a girl!"
Ilya has been pretty much sheltered all her life though, with little forms of contact other than her maids or her Servant Berserker, so she is a little socially ignorant, both when it comes to interacting with people or certain social customs. An example of the first part is when she's talking to Shirou for the first time, and he asks her what's fun for her. She just replies that she doesn't know, since she hasn't talked to other people much, so she doesn't know what would be fun to talk about. An example of the latter would be that she didn't even know what exacty a hotel was until Shirou told her, and she pronounces Shirou's name incredibly wrong at first too. ("I'm Shirou. Emiya Shirou." "Emiyashiro? That's a strange name, Onii-chan.")

"Then what's fun for you, Ilya?"
"I don't know. I haven't talked to other people much, so I don't know what I should talk about."
She's not completely cute, naive and clueless when she shows her more child-like side though. Her more cruel side leaks in slightly, causing her to still be slightly boasting and haughty, constantly teasing other people through her words and actions. It's not all just empty words though, considering she really is powerful and really does know a lot about magic, but it can still come across as overbearing. She even lectures people who look like they're much older than her, like Shirou for example. ("But you're no good if you can't dispel magic using your own powers. Your future looks gloomy if outside factors are the only things that can dispel you.") Her idea of teasing isn't always completely innocent either, considering she uses her magic on Shirou just to tease him and get his attention at one point. But once again, this mostly stems from the fact she was never taught good from evil and so doesn't know that most people wouldn't really appreciate having magic used on them like that.

"Hold on, I have no business with you two. I don't intend to fight, so can you two stop being angry? ...Really, I'm embarrassed as a lady. You're much older than me, but you two have no modesty."
The concept of a Servant is very important to Ilya as well. She was pretty lonely growing up, so having a Servant by her side must mean they were automatically very important to her and she relied on them a lot. During the story, she tells Shirou about Servants: "It's mine, right? My grandfather said it's someone that's always by my side and protects me." To her, a Servant isn't some weapon or person for fighting - it's someone to always be by her side. It's why during the Fate route she wants to make Shirou her Servant too, and when/if he agrees she even jumps around in joy. Berserker holds a special place in her heart though - she even says in the game that she doesn't want another Servant, since her Servant will always be Berserker even if he's already defeated. In fact, whenever he is defeated during the story she completely freezes up, and the narration even remarks she 'sounds like an abandoned child'.

"That's good, Berserker. Stay there, okay?" Strength fades from her body. She is hurt and scared, but it's all right as long as he's here. He always protected her. He was scary, but he was really kind. His big body was like that of a dad, and she wanted for him to pick her up once. "I'm not scared anymore even though it's dark. You're strong, Berserker. I'm safe if you're there like that."
Her relation with Berserker mostly stems from the fact that when she was young, she had to keep Berserker in this world with just her magic energy, which was very painful considering how powerful he was and therefore how much magical energy he required. Not to mention she was abandoned with him alone in a winter forest, so she had no choice but to rely on Berserker for survival. At first she was mad at him, yelled at him, insulted him - but it was actually just to hide her weakness through all of it. Like the narration at that point tells us:

But he already knew that this was the girl's desperate opposition. The girl did so to hide her weakness. She walked with pride as if saying that she could live alone. ...And that she did not need any friends or collaborators. ...It was... ...A bluff to ignore the fact that she was fated to have nothing.
Through her cruel and childish (up to a point where it might sometimes be cute, but sometimes downright obnoxious) attitude, Ilya is actually a pretty kind girl to the people she cares about. During the Heaven's Feel route it's very obvious that she's just looking out for Shirou, who she feels very close to. She constantly warns him about things (like taking off the shroud) and lectures him, but she only does that to protect him. She's actually very worried and concerned about him, consdering the fact she even looks sad when Shirou tells her to not sacrifice her life.

"Don't sacrifice your life for someone else...!"
"That goes for you too, Shirou----"
But that's exactly where the sad point about Ilya's existence lies. Ilya is much too easily resigned to circumstances. She just accepts things the way they are, even if they are really sad and unfair, rather than fighting against them. She tries to kill off her own emotions just so she can try and accept things as they are.

She turns back innocently. ...That's because she's suppressing her true feelings. Ilya's killing her own emotions. That's why we can hang out like this. Because Ilya can't smile like this unless she keeps her true self hidden.
Shirou finally offers her during the Heaven's Feel route what she always wanted all along: a chance at happiness. He offers her to live together with him, almost a little bit like siblings, like family. But since Ilya knows she doesn't have long to live as a homunculus, and that Shirou won't have long to live with the way he keeps using his projection magic (and that one of the few ways to actually save him would be to sacrifice herself for him) she can't accept the chance even if she would like to do so more than anything. She's been sad and lonely, she just wants someone to be there with her, be there for her, but when she's given the chance she can't even take it. So she just smiles as she states the reasons why this happy situation can't become reality no matter what.

"That's not possible. I can't live long, and you can't live long either. So it's not possible to live together." She refuses me with a bright smile.
"Can't... live long?"
"You know that already, right? ...Yes, one of us might be able to live a bit longer if the other is sacrificed. But I think having both of us is impossible. If I'm alive after the war, that means you're dead. See, it's impossible. There's no place for me in your house if you're not there."
Because she's resigning herself to the situation as it is so much, Ilya is a very self-sacrificing kind of person as well. She knows she will die soon either way, so she doesn't mind sacrificing herself for others - or at least pretends to not mind. When Sakura wants to take her away, she just goes along willingly. She speaks calmly, without emotion, to the girl, saying that it's her role. But she actually isn't that okay with it; she sort of regrets that it has to be this way and would rather be happy to if she would be given the chance. When she goes along with Sakura she actually smiles sadly at Shirou, telling him: "Goodbye. It was fun, Onii-chan." Not to mention when Shirou comes to save her, she first stubbornly tells him off, tells him to get away and save himself, but when he insists she does go along with him. And she actually seems a little happy that he's trying to save her, considering she smiles when she tells him "I'm stunned. Anything I say to you is useless. Really. There's no way this will turn out well." But at the very end of the Heaven's Feel route, Ilya sacrifices herself all the same for Shirou. She was right all along - only one of them could live a little longer if the other was sacrificed. But she seems more or less okay with it this time, showing him a true smile and telling him that she wanted him to live instead of herself.

---- Goodbye.
We weren't related by blood.
But I'm glad we were siblings.
You said an older brother protects his younger sister, right?
... Yeah. I'm the older sister. So I have to protect my younger brother.

Abilities/Strengths: Ilya is a homuculus rather than a real human - an artifical person made through alchemy (although the circumstances regarding the way Ilya was birthed were a little more special, but I won't get too much into that here, suffice to say she's a homunculus). It's the reason why her aging process is pretty screwed up - she's much older than she actually looks (or acts, most of the time) - and she has a very short life span. In fact, she's fated to die one year after the events of the Holy Grail War, even though she doesn't live to see that either way because of the final events of the Heaven's Feel route.

But because she's a homunculus, she has a much greater magic potential than regular humans would. Her body (even though it's so small) is capable of holding a gigantic amount of Magic Circuits and she's shown to use great magic throughout the story in general - she has a huge supply of Mana, which is shown for example in how she's able to control a Servant as huge, powerful and insane as Berserker. She says in the story that she's a Master, but not a magus - she was made for the very purpose of becoming a Master, so she was never taught any irrelevant magic. She does seem to have Mystic Eyes of Binding though, which means that as long as the target doesn't have too much resistance against it, she's able to 'bind' them just by eye contact. (For example, rendering them unable to move or speak.) She also seems to have magic capable of transfering consciousness into something else - for example transferring a human's soul or consciousness to another object (like a doll).

Weaknesses: Ilya has several weaknesses. First, of course, there is the obvious physical weakness. Especially without her magic Ilya is little more than just a young (looking) girl, and pretty frail to boot. It wouldn't be really hard for anyone to take her out during a physical fight or just in general. Her body is also a homunculus' rather than a real human, so she doesn't have much longer to live in general - back home she normally only would have had another year. Ilya herself knows this as well, which only makes it more painful.

There's also her slight lack of knowledge about social things. She hasn't had much company during her life and she didn't see much of the world while she was stuck in that wintery country, so her knowledge about interacting with people (she teases people, gets overly familiar pretty easily, doesn't know what she 'finds fun') and about society (she doesn't even know what a hotel is until Shirou explains it to her) is very limited. Ilya can also come across as very childish - downright to sometimes even seeming a bit spoiled or haughty - with her kind of behaviour, which not everyone can appreciate and might be a little offputting to some people that way. On the other extreme, her cold and ruthless attitude as a Master might be offputting to people as well.

Lastly Ilya has a tendency of easily resigning to things. Instead of fighting fate or circumstances, she just gives up and accepts things as they are, no matter how painful they are - for example the fact she won't be able to live together with Shirou even if she wants to, since at least one of them will die during the events of Heaven's Feel and she already knows it. Because of this she is very self-sacrificing too, considering she gives up her own life (or attempts to do so) multiple times, especially for Shirou. Her reasoning behind it, other than affection, often has to do with resignment as well, considering she knows she will die soon either way, or just knows that it's her 'duty'.

ARCANARUM
Story: The Snow Maiden
Story Character: The Snow Maiden (Snegurochka)
Plans: There are various parallels between the Snow Maiden and Ilya. First of all, in some renditions of the story the Snow Maiden is literally made out of snow before she turns into a living being. Ilya isn't a 'real' human either - she's a homunculus, an artifically made human. This is also what caused her to age so strangely (just look at the gap between her real age and her appearance), and the same counts for the Snow Maiden, since the latter only ages during the winter (probably due to the fact that she was originally made out of snow). Ilya herself is pretty pale too (a near albino with her white hair and red eyes) and is often associated with snow in the story. Winter and snow play an important theme in her history, since she was sent out on her own with just her Servant Berserker to survive like that in the middle of the snow and the cold winter. Snow is just frequently brought up in conversations with her during the story as well, to a point where some of the scenes centering around her are named 'The daughter of winter'. Then there's the theme of the Snow Maiden being unable to love, but once she gains the ability to love and falls in love, she melts away. Ilya herself has almost always been on her own (she had Berserker's company and her maids, but no 'real' friends or anything of the like), but once she meets Shirou and starts having fun with him, she starts viewing him as a true sibling, as family. But in the end she is the one who sacrifices her life so Shirou can live on, so it can be said this is a parallel between the Snow Maiden and Ilya - they're both short-lived since they die once they start to know what true happiness is like.

SAMPLES
First Person: here and here.

Third Person: There was just something downright strange about being in this place. It was nothing like she was used to: nothing like the cold Einzbern family castle, nothing like the city in which the fifth Holy Grail war had taken place. No, instead there was something fairytale-like about this place (although, granted, the Einzbern castle looked like it was taken straight out of a fairytale as well, but that fairytale seemed much more cold compared to this warm and cute one). If Ilya was entirely honest with herself, she didn't even quite know how to handle all of it. She hadn't expected there to be anything at all after she sacrificed her own life so Shirou could at least live on, so for there to suddenly be this strange place was a complete surprise.

It was almost like a second chance. But then again.. she didn't have long to live either way, right? So would she just have to sit out some more time here until the inevitable end would come, rather than back home? And did she even want or need this 'second chance' to begin with? The people here were all little more than strangers, much different than all the people she remembered from back home. Sure, she could try and make.. friends with them - as strange as that idea seemed to her, with how isolated she had been during her life - but would there be an use to it if she would just die in this place sooner or later?

The girl just sat quietly on the swing, idly swinging back and forth just a little but not putting any actual effort into it. She was more thinking to herself than playing on the swingset either way. The only reason why she was sitting on the swings, why she had come to this park, was.. because it reminded her of back home, of going to that little park in the middle of the city with Shirou and just talking about anything that crossed her mind.

Yes. That time.. surely had been fun, hadn't it? If only fate could have been changed, if only there would have been a way for her and Shirou to live together against all odds, a bit like family, then her life.. could have stopped being so sad.

As the girl glanced up to the sky, a bright blue - not like the more grey winter skies back home - she let out a slight resigned sigh, her eyes much more heavy than such a little girls' should be. And slowly, as she sat there alone, Ilya opened her mouth and started singing a song to no one but herself.

"Die Luft ist kühl und es dunkelt, und ruhig fließt der Rhein.. Der Gipfel des Berges funkelt im Abendsonnenschein.."