[ If this were any other situation he'd be having sex and it went like this, Jeongmin is sure he would hate it. He doesn't like being treated like this.. so gently, constantly guided, as if he's something fragile that has to be protected at all costs. He doesn't want to be babied just because he's ill, no matter how shitty or potentially deadly his illness might be. He wants to show the world that there's plenty of things he can still do, no matter how sick he is. He wants to prove he's still strong too, and not some cripple.
But when it's Yunyeol doing it, all of those protests somehow seem to vanish. Maybe it's the knowledge that no matter what the other is doing, he still belongs to Jeongmin.. he's still only acting upon commands given by Jeongmin, so he's still the one in charge.
Deep in his heart he knows it's different though. The reason why he doesn't feel angry at being laid down so softly on the bed is because it's Yunyeol. Because Yunyeol being near him is enough to make a warmth form in the pit of his chest, because Yunyeol makes him feel so oddly loved and wanted with the way he touches him and looks at him, caring for him so softly. Yunyeol isn't doing this because he pities him, but because he cares for him. (He still thinks it's not real though - but even as his own delusion, that works well enough for him in this moment.)
He moves along the best he can with the way Yunyeol's hands guide him onto the bed and to lie a little more comfortably.. his own hands slowly move up to cling to the other too - not too strong of a grasp, but it's still there all the same. Along with the soft sound that escapes his mouth when Yunyeol kisses his neck like that, no matter how softly it is. It just feels.. nice. He's so used to his body hurting and feeling like it's working against him, so the feeling of these kind of sensations on his skin instead feels like heaven opening just for him.
It's appreciated that Yunyeol is so practiced with this anyway. Jeongmin is so much of a virgin that he'd feel super unconfident about doing it if he himself had to take the lead, especially this first time, so for once it feels a little nice to be led and guided. He trusts Yunyeol.. and it's why the other's name softly moves across his lips. ]
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But when it's Yunyeol doing it, all of those protests somehow seem to vanish. Maybe it's the knowledge that no matter what the other is doing, he still belongs to Jeongmin.. he's still only acting upon commands given by Jeongmin, so he's still the one in charge.
Deep in his heart he knows it's different though. The reason why he doesn't feel angry at being laid down so softly on the bed is because it's Yunyeol. Because Yunyeol being near him is enough to make a warmth form in the pit of his chest, because Yunyeol makes him feel so oddly loved and wanted with the way he touches him and looks at him, caring for him so softly. Yunyeol isn't doing this because he pities him, but because he cares for him. (He still thinks it's not real though - but even as his own delusion, that works well enough for him in this moment.)
He moves along the best he can with the way Yunyeol's hands guide him onto the bed and to lie a little more comfortably.. his own hands slowly move up to cling to the other too - not too strong of a grasp, but it's still there all the same. Along with the soft sound that escapes his mouth when Yunyeol kisses his neck like that, no matter how softly it is. It just feels.. nice. He's so used to his body hurting and feeling like it's working against him, so the feeling of these kind of sensations on his skin instead feels like heaven opening just for him.
It's appreciated that Yunyeol is so practiced with this anyway. Jeongmin is so much of a virgin that he'd feel super unconfident about doing it if he himself had to take the lead, especially this first time, so for once it feels a little nice to be led and guided. He trusts Yunyeol.. and it's why the other's name softly moves across his lips. ]