It feels like he's imagining all of this. Or at least half of this. Maybe the thought of asking Yunyeol to have sex with him makes his heart pound so hard that it just knocked his frail body straight up unconscious, and he's dreaming all of this. Or maybe it's at least giving him hallucinations, making the tone of Yunyeol's voice sound so sweet, and makes a very tiny smile seem to be on Yunyeol's face, something he hasn't even seen that often...
That can't be real, right? Would Yunyeol really be that happy to have sex with the person who owned him? No matter how soft his kisses and touches were before, no matter how he held him while they were lying down in bed when Jeongmin asked for it.. it can't be real. It must all be him imagining things, imagining Yunyeol having feelings for him the same way he has feelings for the other.
But even if he would imagine all this, maybe it isn't too bad for the moment. If he can only let himself go for a moment and let himself feel good and happy tonight.. then he can worry about how delusional he might be or not tomorrow. For now he just wants to bask in the way Yunyeol taking his hands into his own without Jeongmin explictly having to ask for it makes his chest feel so warm..
He loves him so much. Somewhere between all the soft care Yunyeol gave him, Jeongmin really did fall in love with the other.. so much that even small things like this can make him feel much more excited than he should be. Maybe it's since he's so sheltered due to his illness, or maybe his illness has just done something weird to his brain, but he can't help it.
Jeongmin shakes his head a little. Not to tell Yunyeol off about anything, quite the opposite-- ]
Don't worry about it. [ Because he knows Yunyeol has Jeongmin's best interests always at the front of his mind. It's natural with the way Yunyeol has been raised, after all.. learning how to absolutely obey someone else, how to take care of them. How to put that other person's needs in front of his own. ] I trust you.
[ Yunyeol has never done anything he didn't want, after all. If anything, there were moments where he wished Yunyeol would do a little more.. go a little further. Kiss him a little more than just doing what Jeongmin asks for, take a little initiative.
But he too knows that also isn't part of the way Yunyeol was raised.
He lets out a soft breath, his gaze dropping to their joined hands for a moment before moving back up to Yunyeol's face. At least he's still trying to not seem overly into this.. not as much as he feels on the inside, after all. He'd look like a moron if he displayed the way his heart is racing right now to the other, especially since Yunyeol must just see this like a business sort of thing, just part of their bond as owner and owned. ]
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It feels like he's imagining all of this. Or at least half of this. Maybe the thought of asking Yunyeol to have sex with him makes his heart pound so hard that it just knocked his frail body straight up unconscious, and he's dreaming all of this. Or maybe it's at least giving him hallucinations, making the tone of Yunyeol's voice sound so sweet, and makes a very tiny smile seem to be on Yunyeol's face, something he hasn't even seen that often...
That can't be real, right? Would Yunyeol really be that happy to have sex with the person who owned him? No matter how soft his kisses and touches were before, no matter how he held him while they were lying down in bed when Jeongmin asked for it.. it can't be real. It must all be him imagining things, imagining Yunyeol having feelings for him the same way he has feelings for the other.
But even if he would imagine all this, maybe it isn't too bad for the moment. If he can only let himself go for a moment and let himself feel good and happy tonight.. then he can worry about how delusional he might be or not tomorrow. For now he just wants to bask in the way Yunyeol taking his hands into his own without Jeongmin explictly having to ask for it makes his chest feel so warm..
He loves him so much. Somewhere between all the soft care Yunyeol gave him, Jeongmin really did fall in love with the other.. so much that even small things like this can make him feel much more excited than he should be. Maybe it's since he's so sheltered due to his illness, or maybe his illness has just done something weird to his brain, but he can't help it.
Jeongmin shakes his head a little. Not to tell Yunyeol off about anything, quite the opposite-- ]
Don't worry about it. [ Because he knows Yunyeol has Jeongmin's best interests always at the front of his mind. It's natural with the way Yunyeol has been raised, after all.. learning how to absolutely obey someone else, how to take care of them. How to put that other person's needs in front of his own. ] I trust you.
[ Yunyeol has never done anything he didn't want, after all. If anything, there were moments where he wished Yunyeol would do a little more.. go a little further. Kiss him a little more than just doing what Jeongmin asks for, take a little initiative.
But he too knows that also isn't part of the way Yunyeol was raised.
He lets out a soft breath, his gaze dropping to their joined hands for a moment before moving back up to Yunyeol's face. At least he's still trying to not seem overly into this.. not as much as he feels on the inside, after all. He'd look like a moron if he displayed the way his heart is racing right now to the other, especially since Yunyeol must just see this like a business sort of thing, just part of their bond as owner and owned. ]
So.. go ahead. I'm ready.