[ The moment he feels that hand move, he knows exactly what Eiri is doing. And while he doesn't dislike it, and while he usually really would have wanted this, right now it doesn't feel as good. Eiri's comfort is always nice, it's what finally made him feel right in this life again, like he had a place to turn to again (because he never really did grow out of that childish codependency).
But right now Eiri shouldn't have to play the caretaker. He always does, but right now he should be the one receiving the care. This isn't about him, this is about Eiri - about Eiri, who was crying only a few moments ago, who still feels so fragile in his arms, his body bent and bruised. He's always the one receiving comfort, it should be the other's turn (now of all times) to get some instead.
Even if the way Eiri's fingers thread through the ends of his hair is really distracting, really nice, if not just since Haku associates it with being comforted by now. He's noticed that his Messiah always does that when he feels like he needs to comfort someone in private - he always did it on the nights Haku had nightmares so bad he couldn't sleep, too. It suits Eiri, and it's tempting to just give into it and let himself be comforted.
But he doesn't want it to be that way just now. So Haku clings onto Eiri just a little bit tighter again, as if he's trying to say he won't let him pull away, he won't let Eiri put himself into a position again where he's just giving and not receiving when he's this weak and hurt. ]
You should've been saved earlier.
[ It's not about him. Sure, he feels guilty, but it's not a pity party or anything, it's nothing Eiri should have to comfort him for.
He moves his head from the top of Eiri's head to instead bury his face into the crook of the other's neck. ]
They shouldn't have been allowed to take you like that, so.. that's why I'm sorry.
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But right now Eiri shouldn't have to play the caretaker. He always does, but right now he should be the one receiving the care. This isn't about him, this is about Eiri - about Eiri, who was crying only a few moments ago, who still feels so fragile in his arms, his body bent and bruised. He's always the one receiving comfort, it should be the other's turn (now of all times) to get some instead.
Even if the way Eiri's fingers thread through the ends of his hair is really distracting, really nice, if not just since Haku associates it with being comforted by now. He's noticed that his Messiah always does that when he feels like he needs to comfort someone in private - he always did it on the nights Haku had nightmares so bad he couldn't sleep, too. It suits Eiri, and it's tempting to just give into it and let himself be comforted.
But he doesn't want it to be that way just now. So Haku clings onto Eiri just a little bit tighter again, as if he's trying to say he won't let him pull away, he won't let Eiri put himself into a position again where he's just giving and not receiving when he's this weak and hurt. ]
You should've been saved earlier.
[ It's not about him. Sure, he feels guilty, but it's not a pity party or anything, it's nothing Eiri should have to comfort him for.
He moves his head from the top of Eiri's head to instead bury his face into the crook of the other's neck. ]
They shouldn't have been allowed to take you like that, so.. that's why I'm sorry.