fic; those funny little plans that never work quite right

[jinxings]

The atmosphere was oddly.. normal.

And normal is exactly what the two men sitting at a small table in an ice cream cafe hadn't experienced for a long while. After being with Sakura for so long and finally graduating, it was pretty odd to be out here so.. casually again, Eiri couldn't help but think as he watched the taller guy on the other side of the table start to dig in on the biggest ice cream coupe he had seen in his life. (Really, did the owner of this place take it a little too far when he had told him to make the biggest one just since Haku wouldn't stop looking like some sort of eager way too tall puppy?)

Granted, he hadn't really been casually out here in any sort of fashion since before he got picked up by that gang either, so it had been longer than just the type he had spent at Sakura. Not that he hadn't been able to see the world out there during various missions, but there certainly wasn't a lot of time (inbetween classes, missions and trying to pry Haku off him) nor opportunity (being out there isn't exactly handy when you don't have an identity on paper anymore) to just go out there and enjoy stuff again. To stop and look at the little things.

In that sense, going out there almost oddly felt like going home, despite the fact that his home was destroyed being the thing that got him to this point in the first place. And he knows-- it's all going to be different. Even if he's out here to enjoy just seeing small children play, to enjoy the feeling of the sun on your skin without those long, heavy coats.. he knows that it won't ever be the same again as it was before he joined Sakura. His parents won't come back. Moe won't be around anymore. They're all dead, so even though he's finally capable of having a life again that isn't just being kicked around as trash by a gang, it'll at least be an entirely new life. Sakura gave them papers and some money when they left, sure, but it still won't last him forever. He'll have to think of what sort of job to get, where he's going to live, all those adult sort of things.

... Adult.

It's probably that word that makes him stop glancing out of the window at the schoolchildren running by across the street after being let out from school for the afternoon and instead glances back to Haku, who just happens to be giving his spoon a long lick after swallowing a mouthful of ice cream.

That's right, it was something else new about his life. He had spent years chained (although it certainly hadn't been a negative thing when it came down to it - he just liked to make it sound that way since Haku was just downright insufferable at times) to this guy, being Messiah with him.. but now they were free. Technically they could just have said goodbye to each other at the gate and went in seperate directions, never to see each other again.

Instead Haku had ended up trailing him, and since it felt so natural, Eiri had let him. Something didn't feel right about splitting up right there and then after all this time together, after all, and Haku had been oddly quiet as he stared around them as they walked. Almost oddly quiet. It made him a lot easier to deal with, but it also caused that Eiri didn't really think about this matter until they sat down here together like this.

He knew he would be fine. Sure, finding a job might not end up being the easiest thing around by now, but he'll try his best and work it out.. Eiri's fairly optimistic about his future perspectives, at least.

But then there's this guy...

"Hey, Haku."

Eiri's sound penetrated the relative silence (other than the muffled noises of the kids passing by outside and the unfortunately less muffled noises of Haku loudly devouring his ice cream) that had been hanging over the cafe.

And it was only that sound that made Haku look up from his ice cream and - apparently - realise there was still another reality out there, glancing over at the other with the spoon still stuck in his mouth. "Hm?"

Eiri shifted a little in his seat. "What are you going to do? From now on, I mean."

It was that question that made the taller man shift as well, leaning back more into his chair as he slowly removed the spoon from his mouth, but still kept holding on to it with one hand rather than just putting it back into the ice cream. There was a moment of silence with a small hum, like Haku really had to think deeply about it, but then he answered with a small shrug.

"Who knows? I thought about trying to contact Souma and Shuusuke now we can. It shouldn't be too impossible to find them." For normal people, maybe, considering how they had all gotten a new identity and all.. but they were born spies, information gatherers, even if they were now officially off duty. It didn't mean their skills had faded, anyway. "It's been a while. I'm sure they'll be glad to see a familiar face."

"And what else?"

This time it made another silence drop over the parlor, but it was more out of sheer incredulousness after he saw his (former?) Messiah do nothing but shrug a little in return. Maybe Eiri should be used to it by now, but.. he just couldn't believe what he was hearing. That was seriously Haku's answer to it? Sure, it wasn't like he didn't want to find those two as well, but.. that's not a future plan at all! How was he even planning on living, or paying for himself, or even cooking for himself now he could no longer just order his five desserts a day at the Sakura headquarters?

Of course he couldn't help himself. He had always sucked at keeping stuff to himself, so only a moment later Eiri's shouts almost made the glasses in the windows of the ice cream salon shake.

"Are you serious?! Are you just going to hang out on the streets like-- like some oversized dog?! You'll die like that, you know..!"

Eiri had to catch his breath for a moment after his outburst, wiping a stray strand of hair out of his eyes, but there was no usual quip back from Haku like he was expecting. Instead when he looked back across the table, Haku was just sitting there and staring at him.. and it was almost as if there was something oddly lost in his eyes, despite his expression being fairly blank.

.. but of course. Slowly the pieces shifted into place in his mind a little bit. It was already more than clear to Eiri for a while by now that Haku wasn't exactly like most other people. His emotional and sometimes even mental (outside of missions, anyway) maturity seemed to be on par with little children rather than with people their age. He still didn't know everything about Haku's life, but he had caught the rumors that his Messiah had been with Sakura for a long time already.. and considering Eiri now saw what his apparent big brother was like, it must mean that there's a lot of things that Haku missed out on. How long had it even been since he had seen the outside world like this? Had he ever even had to care for himself to that extent to begin with?

It's hard to believe the answer to that to be "yes" when he watches Haku sitting there: one foot drawn up on the chair so he can lean against his knee a little, spoon once again hanging out of his mouth, remains of ice cream sticking to the corners of his mouth, wearing that weird cape again - practically the only thing Eiri has ever really seen him wear at Sakura other than his uniform and the clothes he slept in.

Haku's a child. A big, oversized child. Sure, he can have his moments of maturity and insight, but when it comes to caring for himself, he's on the level of a kid and it's way too clear. (And that thought can't help but make him think of Moe for a brief moment, of what it would have been like if she had survived rather than him, if she would have been able to live and take care of herself all alone. Would she have ended up the way Haku did?)

So.. honestly, he already had trouble with imagining Haku suddenly not being in his life anymore. Just imagine, he might be able to hear himself think for once. He might not have to deal with unwanted physical contact every two minutes. He might not have to deal with mountains of trash all up in his living space.

But somehow all those things slowly became part of every day life. And even if he wouldn't feel hesitant to leave Haku already, then it's this sight that really pulls him over the line. He can't abandon Haku. He doesn't want to, but he can't either - because it's way too obvious that Haku just can't take care of himself out here. If he's left alone, who's to say what will even happen to him?

Eiri doesn't want to think of it. He just wants Haku to be there with him. To be his usual way too annoying and obnoxious self. .. Okay, well, toning it down a little sometimes might be helpful, though.

But it's why he can't help from letting out a frustrated sigh and speaking up again. "Then.. let's just get an apartment together already. It's a pain to find those for one person available in this area anyway." As if that would be the real reason.. but not adding that to it felt like leaving way too many opportunities open for the other to tease him about it, and that's just about the last thing he wants right now.

Although obnoxious is not quite the reaction he's getting. Not at first, anyway. As Eiri glances at Haku from the corners of his eyes after huffily looking away, he could swear that he saw a very genuinely happy smile cross his Messiah's face. Had he been worried about it? Being out here by himself, having to split up.. what had Haku thought about it, anyway?

Not that it was easy to say. That split second smile gave away a bit, but nothing of Haku's words afterwards did, as he casually removed the spoon from his mouth and stopped looking at Eiri like he was staring straight into the headlights of a speeding truck. Or a little lost child, but that description of Haku tugged a little too much on his heartstrings and bad memories to really consider for more than two moments. "That's pretty brave of you to say, Eiri. Are you sure that you won't be whining about your whole "day after day" thing again in a few days?"

Oh, of course Haku would say something like that. Was 'hey, thanks, Eiri' really that much to ask for?!

"Of course I'll be doing it again if you keep doing the same stuff again, day after day! You can at least cut out the alarms thing, right?! And the trash, and-- and everything else! How many years am I going to have to put up with that stuff from you..?!"

Eiri's rant and the ascension of his pitch was interrupted by Haku's own calm voice. "Didn't I already say?" Haku shifted in his chair once more, leaning over the table towards the shorter man, making sure to stretch out his next words a little bit.

"It's for-e-ver."

Eiri just let out a frustrated sound at that declaration - typically Eiri - and quickly stood up, dumped some cash on the table to pay for the ice cream and started to stomp quickly out of the restaurant.

And after putting the last spoonful of ice cream into his mouth and rapidly swallowing it, Haku stood up and followed. He shot a half-cheeky grin and a salute at the owner, letting out a hurried "naisu da" before following Eiri out of the door, jogging a few steps to catch up on the streets with him before falling in step next to him in a more comfortable pace. And even if Eiri didn't notice it, since he refused to look next to him only to see a smug smirk, that wasn't the expression on Haku's face at all.

It was a near-dopey kind of smile, like a loyal dog following its owner since it's the one thing it knows how to do best.

And Eiri? Well, he couldn't help but scowl at the idea of being stuck forever with this annoying guy, of all people, even now nothing officially tied them together anymore..

.. but truthfully, a part of him didn't want it to be any other way.