[He catches that drift of her gaze - because with how closely he's hanging onto every movement and every flicker of expression, it stands out like those neon signs from back in Brooklyn.
He doesn't expect her to be bold enough to keep pushing, but it's not as if he minds. He reaches up to his collar, fumbling with the clasp there one-handed (because of course he can't just take his hands off her entirely, that would just be crazy). He's gotten pretty efficient with the buttons on his western uniform, but this isn't quite made the same way, and what started as a careful, controlled attempt gives way to him just pulling on the damned thing and hoping it'll pop.
[ For a few moments she's content enough to just watch him fiddle with it. She doesn't want to be impatient, after all (and she isn't to begin with, she'd be fine if these moments with Hijikata could be dragged out to an eternity) and the way he holds onto her is rather nice that waiting doesn't bother her in general.
But after those moments it's pretty obvious he's not going to get it open by himself. So she smiles softly. ]
Here, let me help..
[ She leans a little closer towards him - close enough to practically be able to feel his breath tickle against the top of her head - and tries to work on the clasp instead. It's not like she's more familiar with these clothes than him, but it's a little easier when you can actually see what you're doing rather than having to guess, and even though it also takes her a few moments, she manages to pry it open. ] .. There.
You're a lifesaver in more ways than one, Chizuru.
[He reaches back up, but instead of taking his shirt, using the opportunity to pull it farther open, he just rests his hand on hers. If she makes any motion to continue, he'll let her...and if she doesn't, he'll guide her into it, slow and gentle.
There just doesn't seem to be as much meaning in undressing yourself.]
[ At first she seems a little confused as to why he doesn't move on. Her gaze moves to meet his own again, and it's only then that it clicks in her mind, that she starts to realise - he's not undressing himself since he wants her to do it.. right? And it's not that she doesn't want to do it - her heart loudly pounds in her chest at the thought of it - but it's more just that she's a little nervous, if not just from the sudden excitement.
Still, her eagerness for him wins out in the end. And although it happens very slowly and carefully, she does move before he has to guide her hand. Her movements are very much like the usual, even considering the act, just pulling open his shirt delicately to reveal the skin underneath.
Nothing she hasn't seen before, but when that happened it was a much different situation and things between them were nowhere near as close to begin the way they are now, and even though even back then she thought he was handsome and her heart sure skipped a beat, she never had the full time to admire it before fear drove her away. This is different. This time Hijikata wants her to see, and this time she can look. At least she's not terribly discreet about the gawking staring, but it's more just since she's so caught up in this moment with the two of them. Chizuru could swear he's even more handsome than she thought after she caught that glimpse before, and for a moment she practically forgets to breathe by the time she's managed to completely open it. ]
[Her lack of discretion, or even any real attempt at it, only makes it all the better, really. Because that's one of the things he's come to love about her so much - her honesty, her earnestness, the way she wears her heart on her sleeve and can't do much of a job of hiding it all even when she tries.
He waits quietly for a moment as she finishes, letting her look, taking a look of his own - and he's certainly seen her face more times than she's seen his bare chest, but this expression is something different, and he wants to savor it as much as she wants to enjoy her own view.
...still, he's never claimed to be the most patient man, either.
And so after a long moment, he reaches up to start unfastening her own shirt.]
[ She'll gladly let him, really. Even if it's enough to make her heart pound so much she almost feels like it's stuck in her throat, the very thought that he'll see her chest completely bare, the first time anyone has ever seen it -- she wants it to be like this. She wants him to see it, to uncover it, and so she waits with a pounding heart.
Except there's the matter of where she's supposed to leave her hands in the meantime. Helping him the way he helped her open up his shirt doesn't quite feel right, and the first other spot she thinks of to place her hands on is..
Chizuru's definitely blushing since there's still a part of her that isn't sure if it's okay to do this or not, but.. with the way he looked at her just now, surely he can't mind, so she slowly places her hands on the skin of his torso and lets them rest on top of the defined muscles while he works. ]
[There's very little she could do now that isn't okay with him, and even if he can't read her mind, he can guess from the way she's looking, the way she's blushing, that she's still not quite sure about that.
He's got a feeling whatever he says might stand a chance of ruining the moment, so he just gives her a reassuring smile as she rests her hands on his body, as if to say it's fine, it's more than fine, she's exactly where he wants her - because to be fair, almost anywhere would do, as long as it's right here with him.
He doesn't rush, but he doesn't slow himself deliberately, either, and so it doesn't take him long to work her shirt open and reach up to slide it free of her shoulders, his hands lingering there on her exposed skin.]
[ It reminds her of just how much of a sharp contrast this is compared to before, that smile. After all, the last time she saw him even remotely like this, he looked and sounded like he was just about ready to kill her about it - and she had really feared that would have happened. But now she's doing even more, she's going ahead and touching it, and he's smiling over it like it's the most normal thing in the world.
Just that in itself would be enough to bring butterflies to her stomach, but the feeling of his skin under her hands sure does that too. So much that Chizuru can't fully help herself and the hands do somewhat move over his skin a little bit - not too far, more cautiously, as if she's testing the waters despite him being so warm. It's probably her being flusterd more than anything, really.
And it's a distraction from him getting her own shirt out of the way and exposing her. It's a little embarrassing, considering no one has ever seen her like that before, but she knows she wants it to be no one else but him. Still, it means that her chest is exposed to him as well, and the sudden exposure to the cool air combined with being this close to him and touching him means that her nipples have hardened - it's hard to not feel a little shameful about it, even though judging by her expression she's still happy by all means. ]
[The more he sees, the harder it is to ignore that growing impatience he's feeling, even as an equally loud part of him wants to draw things out and enjoy it for as long as he can make it last - because hell knows there hasn't been much worth enjoying in his life for so long, and every second with her is precious.
One hand settles behind her neck, pulling her down again - not so sharply as to be rough, but sharply enough to bring her down, press her against him, because there's too much of her (except not enough of her and never too much of her) and not enough of his hands to touch her with. Her skin against his is warm in a way that goes far beyond the heat of mere physical contact, and his other arm snakes around her waist as he tilts his head up to kiss her again.]
[ There's no problem with drawing it out as far as she's concerned. Everything about this is new, either way, even this kiss is new with the added contact of skin on skin. It's so nice and warm - if not just for body heat, but it goes beyond that, the feeling that she's safer here with him than anywhere else, no matter what he might say about it. The feeling that she loves him so much, and he loves her back too..
One of her hand moves a little further up, settling on the skin just below his shoulder, and the other one moves a little beyond that, into his hair, fingers carefully threading through it. There's not even much hesitance about the gesture anymore, even if her heart does skip a beat or two out of nervousness at the action. But maybe it's finally dawning upon Chizuru that he's okay with her doing whatever she wants to do right now. And as far as she's concerned, what she wants is just to be with him, to keep sharing this warmth of his skin brushing against her own with him. ]
[That lack of hesitance is what tips the scales; his hand at her waist starts to toy with the waistband of her pants a bit. As content as he is with all of this -
There's more of her to be seen, touched, shared, and no matter how satisfying even the smallest taste is, he's not going to be truly satisfied until he's uncovered everything.
Still, he doesn't rush; his fingers dip beneath her waistband and he pauses for a moment, just keeping them there like that, as though to give her a chance to make any objections clear before he does anything more. He doesn't disbelieve her when she's said everything's fine, but he doesn't want the pace to go anywhere she's not happy with, either.]
[ If there are any objections, then they really aren't visible. Chizuru's face does flush a little at the realisation of where his hand is going, but it's a direction and pace that she entirely doesn't mind. It might be the first time she's ever done anything even remotely like this, but there's no way she would mind if it's him - especially since she longs for him too, just as he does for her, and the thought of him moving downwards is already enough to make her legs shake a little.
When he lingers though she gives him quiet encouragement, a sign that it's okay, that she wants this. It's mostly a small nod, but it's also the way her fingers still brush through his hair a little, waiting for him to continue. ]
[His hand lingers there for a few long moments, just sweeping across her skin just below the belt, but eventually his fingers find their way back up just a couple of inches, to start undoing her pants rather than tiptoeing around them. Just a quick pull and -
- it was supposed to be a quick pull.
After a few moments of increasingly awkward fumbling, Hijikata opens his eyes, propping himself up on one elbow to look down to where he's managed to pick the wrong thing to pull, and has only succeeded in getting that cord tied in a worse knot rather than undoing it.]
[ Honestly, for a moment she can't help but wonder what's taking him either. It's not anything she actually voices out loud since she wants to give him all the time in the world to do this just the way he wants to do it (she trusts him enough for that, after all, she'd trust him with anything at all) but after a few moments of fumbling it's definitely becoming noticable.
And even Chizuru doesn't even really notice what happened until he pulls back and she can angle her head just enough to take a quick peek. And that quick peek is all she needs to realise he just managed to tangle it more.
It's.. oddly endearing, though, especially with the expression on his face that goes along with it. She doesn't think he's any less than amazing, he's one of the strongest people she's ever met, powerful and commandering.. but she's seen plenty of oh so very human moments from him that make her love him so much, and this is just another one of them.
A small, slightly amused sound escapes her. ] Here.. [ And with a smile she moves her own hand down to help untangle the knot. But even then she's still involving him in it too, trying to direct his hand to the parts that he needs to pull on while she tries to pry apart the knot with her nails until it finally comes undone. ]
[For a moment it seems almost like her intervention is going to make it more of a mess, and he doesn't seem quite sure of what to do with suddenly having her help with something he was trying his damndest to do alone - but her persistence pays off, and after a few long seconds of continued fumbling, he seems to get the hang of what she's doing well enough to let her take care of the one part while he takes care of the other.
(Which is horribly fitting and reflective of a lot of things about him in a lot of ways that he is never going to admit to, thank you very much.)
The knot finally comes undone, and he leans down to brush his lips against her collarbone with a soft sigh of relief (because he's at least got enough romance in him to realize that a thank the fucking heavens is going to totally ruin the moment even worse, here) as his other hand slides down to start tugging her pants down.]
[ Honestly, he could be making the biggest tangled mess of anything right about now and she'd be okay with it as long as he's doing this. Even though it's only a light touch, having his lips directly against her skin like that is enough to cause a tingling kind of feeling to run through her body - one that she doesn't want to stop, really.
Her hand brushes against his for a last time before she pulls it back up, content enough to at least let him handle the rest of her pants for now. She shifts a little to help them slide off a little better, but the hand moves back to having one half-buried in his black hair, the other sprawled (although still a little cautiously, gently, as if even in this situation she's still trying so hard not to impose because well, it's Chizuru) against the skin of his chest.
[It's a longer moment than he'd hoped to get them off of her completely, but he doesn't let himself rush, no matter how much faster he wants to take it. She's worth waiting for.
(And if he tries to rush it, he's probably only going to make even stupider mistakes re: handling basic clothing removal, okay.)
As soon as he's got her pants off her, he tosses them carelessly to the side and loops his arms around her waist again, stopping, not going further but just taking another moment to savor - everything. The warmth of her hand on his chest, the feeling of her fingers tangled in his hair and her weight (small though it is) on top of him -
He could be happy like this forever, and yet no, it's not enough.]
you weren't kidding about a month, huh.. but ssh, it's okay, no need to apologize!!
[ A deep red runs across Chizuru's face. Not that she isn't comfortable with Hijikata (especially not by now) and it's not that she doesn't want to do this at this point (even if she never really thought about it before since they didn't exactly have time for it up north in the middle of that war), but it's just.. new.
This is the first time she's been this bare in front of anyone, even Hijikata himself. With her being the only woman in the Shinsengumi headquarters and that being a secret, it had been a big deal to make sure no one would see even aside from the embarrassment it'd bring her. But here she is, lying uncovered on top of him, feeling even a little smaller than she already is since she's at her most vulnerable.
Yet it doesn't feel wrong at all. He's the only one she wants to show this to.
Her lips brush against his own again, and after a brief kiss she whispers against his mouth. ]
It's okay.. [ To go further if he wants, she means, because it's terribly hard to read the line between him just enjoying the quiet rest of the moment and him holding back for her sake - since he certainly doesn't have to do the latter, she wouldn't want him to. ]
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no subject
He doesn't expect her to be bold enough to keep pushing, but it's not as if he minds. He reaches up to his collar, fumbling with the clasp there one-handed (because of course he can't just take his hands off her entirely, that would just be crazy). He's gotten pretty efficient with the buttons on his western uniform, but this isn't quite made the same way, and what started as a careful, controlled attempt gives way to him just pulling on the damned thing and hoping it'll pop.
He still won't let go of her.]
no subject
But after those moments it's pretty obvious he's not going to get it open by himself. So she smiles softly. ]
Here, let me help..
[ She leans a little closer towards him - close enough to practically be able to feel his breath tickle against the top of her head - and tries to work on the clasp instead. It's not like she's more familiar with these clothes than him, but it's a little easier when you can actually see what you're doing rather than having to guess, and even though it also takes her a few moments, she manages to pry it open. ] .. There.
no subject
[He reaches back up, but instead of taking his shirt, using the opportunity to pull it farther open, he just rests his hand on hers. If she makes any motion to continue, he'll let her...and if she doesn't, he'll guide her into it, slow and gentle.
There just doesn't seem to be as much meaning in undressing yourself.]
no subject
Still, her eagerness for him wins out in the end. And although it happens very slowly and carefully, she does move before he has to guide her hand. Her movements are very much like the usual, even considering the act, just pulling open his shirt delicately to reveal the skin underneath.
Nothing she hasn't seen before, but when that happened it was a much different situation and things between them were nowhere near as close to begin the way they are now, and even though even back then she thought he was handsome and her heart sure skipped a beat, she never had the full time to admire it before fear drove her away. This is different. This time Hijikata wants her to see, and this time she can look. At least she's not terribly discreet about the
gawkingstaring, but it's more just since she's so caught up in this moment with the two of them. Chizuru could swear he's even more handsome than she thought after she caught that glimpse before, and for a moment she practically forgets to breathe by the time she's managed to completely open it. ]no subject
He waits quietly for a moment as she finishes, letting her look, taking a look of his own - and he's certainly seen her face more times than she's seen his bare chest, but this expression is something different, and he wants to savor it as much as she wants to enjoy her own view.
...still, he's never claimed to be the most patient man, either.
And so after a long moment, he reaches up to start unfastening her own shirt.]
no subject
Except there's the matter of where she's supposed to leave her hands in the meantime. Helping him the way he helped her open up his shirt doesn't quite feel right, and the first other spot she thinks of to place her hands on is..
Chizuru's definitely blushing since there's still a part of her that isn't sure if it's okay to do this or not, but.. with the way he looked at her just now, surely he can't mind, so she slowly places her hands on the skin of his torso and lets them rest on top of the defined muscles while he works. ]
no subject
He's got a feeling whatever he says might stand a chance of ruining the moment, so he just gives her a reassuring smile as she rests her hands on his body, as if to say it's fine, it's more than fine, she's exactly where he wants her - because to be fair, almost anywhere would do, as long as it's right here with him.
He doesn't rush, but he doesn't slow himself deliberately, either, and so it doesn't take him long to work her shirt open and reach up to slide it free of her shoulders, his hands lingering there on her exposed skin.]
no subject
Just that in itself would be enough to bring butterflies to her stomach, but the feeling of his skin under her hands sure does that too. So much that Chizuru can't fully help herself and the hands do somewhat move over his skin a little bit - not too far, more cautiously, as if she's testing the waters despite him being so warm. It's probably her being flusterd more than anything, really.
And it's a distraction from him getting her own shirt out of the way and exposing her. It's a little embarrassing, considering no one has ever seen her like that before, but she knows she wants it to be no one else but him. Still, it means that her chest is exposed to him as well, and the sudden exposure to the cool air combined with being this close to him and touching him means that her nipples have hardened - it's hard to not feel a little shameful about it, even though judging by her expression she's still happy by all means. ]
no subject
One hand settles behind her neck, pulling her down again - not so sharply as to be rough, but sharply enough to bring her down, press her against him, because there's too much of her (except not enough of her and never too much of her) and not enough of his hands to touch her with. Her skin against his is warm in a way that goes far beyond the heat of mere physical contact, and his other arm snakes around her waist as he tilts his head up to kiss her again.]
no subject
One of her hand moves a little further up, settling on the skin just below his shoulder, and the other one moves a little beyond that, into his hair, fingers carefully threading through it. There's not even much hesitance about the gesture anymore, even if her heart does skip a beat or two out of nervousness at the action. But maybe it's finally dawning upon Chizuru that he's okay with her doing whatever she wants to do right now. And as far as she's concerned, what she wants is just to be with him, to keep sharing this warmth of his skin brushing against her own with him. ]
no subject
There's more of her to be seen, touched, shared, and no matter how satisfying even the smallest taste is, he's not going to be truly satisfied until he's uncovered everything.
Still, he doesn't rush; his fingers dip beneath her waistband and he pauses for a moment, just keeping them there like that, as though to give her a chance to make any objections clear before he does anything more. He doesn't disbelieve her when she's said everything's fine, but he doesn't want the pace to go anywhere she's not happy with, either.]
no subject
When he lingers though she gives him quiet encouragement, a sign that it's okay, that she wants this. It's mostly a small nod, but it's also the way her fingers still brush through his hair a little, waiting for him to continue. ]
sorry he's gonna be a dumbfuck
- it was supposed to be a quick pull.
After a few moments of increasingly awkward fumbling, Hijikata opens his eyes, propping himself up on one elbow to look down to where he's managed to pick the wrong thing to pull, and has only succeeded in getting that cord tied in a worse knot rather than undoing it.]
...damn.
it's okay it makes him so loveable
And even Chizuru doesn't even really notice what happened until he pulls back and she can angle her head just enough to take a quick peek. And that quick peek is all she needs to realise he just managed to tangle it more.
It's.. oddly endearing, though, especially with the expression on his face that goes along with it. She doesn't think he's any less than amazing, he's one of the strongest people she's ever met, powerful and commandering.. but she's seen plenty of oh so very human moments from him that make her love him so much, and this is just another one of them.
A small, slightly amused sound escapes her. ] Here.. [ And with a smile she moves her own hand down to help untangle the knot. But even then she's still involving him in it too, trying to direct his hand to the parts that he needs to pull on while she tries to pry apart the knot with her nails until it finally comes undone. ]
no subject
(Which is horribly fitting and reflective of a lot of things about him in a lot of ways that he is never going to admit to, thank you very much.)
The knot finally comes undone, and he leans down to brush his lips against her collarbone with a soft sigh of relief (because he's at least got enough romance in him to realize that a thank the fucking heavens is going to totally ruin the moment even worse, here) as his other hand slides down to start tugging her pants down.]
no subject
Her hand brushes against his for a last time before she pulls it back up, content enough to at least let him handle the rest of her pants for now. She shifts a little to help them slide off a little better, but the hand moves back to having one half-buried in his black hair, the other sprawled (although still a little cautiously, gently, as if even in this situation she's still trying so hard not to impose because well, it's Chizuru) against the skin of his chest.
Try to not mess it up this time, alright.]i'm so fail oh my god i'm sorry
(And if he tries to rush it, he's probably only going to make even stupider mistakes re: handling basic clothing removal, okay.)
As soon as he's got her pants off her, he tosses them carelessly to the side and loops his arms around her waist again, stopping, not going further but just taking another moment to savor - everything. The warmth of her hand on his chest, the feeling of her fingers tangled in his hair and her weight (small though it is) on top of him -
He could be happy like this forever, and yet no, it's not enough.]
you weren't kidding about a month, huh.. but ssh, it's okay, no need to apologize!!
This is the first time she's been this bare in front of anyone, even Hijikata himself. With her being the only woman in the Shinsengumi headquarters and that being a secret, it had been a big deal to make sure no one would see even aside from the embarrassment it'd bring her. But here she is, lying uncovered on top of him, feeling even a little smaller than she already is since she's at her most vulnerable.
Yet it doesn't feel wrong at all. He's the only one she wants to show this to.
Her lips brush against his own again, and after a brief kiss she whispers against his mouth. ]
It's okay.. [ To go further if he wants, she means, because it's terribly hard to read the line between him just enjoying the quiet rest of the moment and him holding back for her sake - since he certainly doesn't have to do the latter, she wouldn't want him to. ]